Tag Archive | women’s fantasies

It’s a small world after all

So awhile back Mr. Best Sex on the Whole Entire Planet Married Guy added me on Facebook. I was a bit surprised and hoped that didn’t clue his wife in because she caught him texting me at least once before. In any case, apparently it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was back to contacting me 3 weeks later. I highly suspect he is a serial cheater and I’m pretty sure his wife would never leave him. I sure wouldn’t if I were her. The sex is too damn good! LOL Plus he appears to be a great dad and has lots of money. Not worth leaving just because he’s a cheater, at least in my opinion, but if I were her I’d just get mine sometimes too.

He lives in the large metropolitan area of a big city that is 30 minutes away from my hometown. So I did a quick check to make sure we didn’t have any mutual friends. We don’t so I figured that was cool and went on to look at a few pics of his wife, who looks beautiful and happy. I briefly hoped my non emotional relationship with him is not hurting her in any way, but I’m thinking it’s pretty common behavior for him and at least we aren’t emotionally involved. Then of course I noticed their ADORABLE children. I texted to tell him how freaking cute his kids are and hadn’t checked back on his page since. He doesn’t post often and occasionally I’ll see a pic of him with his siblings or family.

So today, he texts me to ask if I know a particular guy, who is on my friends list. Why yes, we went to high school together. I wouldn’t say I know him SUPER well, and I know I haven’t slept with him but we ran with the same crowd and there is always the possibility I may have given him a blow job or something and not written it down. What can I say, my memory about that kind of stuff sucks, lol. I asked why he wanted to know and he didn’t text back. Typical, he’s a very flaky guy and I attribute it to being married.

Okay, so just a little while ago I sat down and decided to look the guy up on my Facebook to see why he wanted to know if I knew him. He’s not friends with him. Okay, so I go to HIS friends list and click on the box that says they are friends of his that I might know. Low and behold, there is a girl who is friends with my baby sister and a few other people I know, and 3 more people that are friends with my stepsister and a few more that are friends with other friends of mine. Ha!

I text to tell Mr. Sex God about it and he texts back that the guy he mentioned earlier is his oldest child’s mother’s boyfriend. (Guess he hasn’t been married all that long, or else he had his child out of wedlock, I’d just assumed this child was with his current wife). Ahhhhh….. What cracks me up is that the guy in question actually has a very similar look to Mr. Sex God. Like, they could totally be brothers. I said I can see why she chose him after you, you all have that look and he didn’t comment, lmao. Hope I didn’t upset him ;).

What’s funny is that I happened to meet Mr. Sex God, HERE, while he was on a business trip. He lives almost 3 hours away. I met him on Craigslist and went straight to his hotel and we were having sex within 5 minutes of me showing up. It’s one of my more daring recent sexual escapades and was kind of “unlike” my usual behavior. Actually it’s the first time I’d fucked anyone off Craigslist (but not the last). He claims it was his first time too, though who knows, he’d also claimed he was single and later admitted to being married.

It cracks me up that he knows who this guy is. At first I was actually a bit afraid they might know each other some other way and he might talk to him about me. I was a wild child back in high school and who knows what kind of information he could have to offer about me or what tales he could tell. The guy knows plenty of guys I’ve had sex with, though nowadays he is a worship leader at a big church, so obviously either hiding a bit of HIS past or possibly the present as well (like Mr. Married Dude does, he is a churchgoer also). Either way, I’m not too worried. I know neither is going to put me on blast due to having their own secrets to keep.

It’s just too funny! I went to see who the girlfriend/baby mama is too and she is gorgeous and a model! Sometimes I’m really surprised that Mr. Married Guy seems to like me so much. I’m decent looking but nothing like that. Still when we first met off Craigslist, both before and after we had sex, he kept saying how gorgeous he thought I was. It didn’t seem like he was just saying that either, he seemed genuinely surprised and said I looked even better than my pics and that the sex was as amazing for him as it is for me.

Not that he is known for being 100% truthful or anything, lmao. The second time we had sex he made a crazy proposal to me that I should come live in an extra house that he has with my children and he would pay me 3000 dollars a month if I would have his baby. While that actually sounds fabulous I was pretty sure he was full of shit. He didn’t mention it again until recently and this time it was only the house part, haha. I kinda figure that was some sort of tale to get me lost in the fantasy style sex.

In any case, he makes me FEEL really good so I don’t really care, I just take whatever he says with a big grain of salt and we seem to get along fine. He told me that first night that he is a bit of a “sex addict” and I had to agree that I am too. He says even with all the women he’s been with that I stand out because most women wouldn’t do what I did and just walk up to his hotel and fuck him, lmao. Actually, here is the ad I originally responded to 😉 I am a naughty girl. 🙂

In town on business Tues. and Wed. and looking for some fun. Me, 6’1″, 205, athletic build. Black, well hung. Very sexual and gets my ultimate pleasure by getting a woman to reach her max multi-time. Has pics to share. (The title said something about fulfilling all my fantasies).

Well, he wasn’t lying and it definitely wasn’t a mistake!! I’ve never had that good of sex in my LIFE, ever. We’ve only managed to actually get together a couple of times so far due to logistics and flakiness on his part and difficulty travelling on mine, but I know someday it will happen again. He likes to randomly text and let me know he is thinking of me and he asks about the swinger parties and the Professor and sends an occasional naughty pic and vice versa.

Just so you all can get an idea of HOW GOOD he is, here is an excerpt of something I wrote after that first night together. This was less than a year ago and actually really the first time I’ve ever been able to have orgasms WITH a guy. I have had a lot of pretty good sex with very experienced guys and a lot of solo orgasms, but until him I’d never experienced this or multiple orgasms or vaginal ones. HE was/is AMAZING in the sack!! (So is the Professor, who is nearly as good, but objectively this dude TAKES THE CAKE- cookie? 😉 ha)

I am still trying to figure out what happened myself! Lol I think it was a combination of all of that, really. I mean he was really sensual and paying attention to all of me but in a very dominant and non-supplicative way. He was obviously really enjoying every minute of it too and that made me feel really good. He was dominant, but not aggressive or mean, which is typical of what I like in other guys too.

Anyway, it definitely helped that he was so amazing with his tongue and started out that way. I had never actually cum from oral before though I love it and many times have gotten close, but he made me cum like 3 or 4 times that way before actually having sex. He had my hips and legs pinned down where I couldn’t move away from him at all and clearly loved doing it. He was relaxed and didn’t appear to be rushing through it just to get to the “fun stuff” for himself, lol and no trying to get me in a 69 which id already told him I don’t really like because it is distracting and I like to focus. He did a lot of different stuff with his tongue and the pressure was just perfect, but didn’t use his fingers at all.

The sex-I don’t think I could even remember all the positions we were in, most were things I’ve done before but he had a way of hitting all kinds of different angles with his cock and would just keep going at one angle until I came then pause and start in on another angle! I didn’t even know that many angles existed lol, and I have been with guys who like to hit different spots but not to that extent. He even had me in some positions I’m not as crazy about normally and managed to make me cum like that. He did seem to like driving in too deep occasionally to where it hurt me but he would stop when I asked him to.

He had a lot of control and was holding me in ways where I couldn’t move most of the time. He wasn’t too rough, though he did bite my neck some and do a little hair pulling and spanking (but it seems everyone does that). Much of the time he was touching other parts of my body, running his hands all over my skin, kissing me, sucking on my toes or breasts, playing with my hair,etc. Very romantic-like. He didn’t cum for a very long time and just kept going and going. I’d cum and he’d ask if he’s got everything yet and id say yes! Lol and he’d just laugh and start something new.

The dominance was definitely a factor, though I’ve been with some pretty dominant guys before. Even when he had me on top of him he was holding me up against him (with my feet on the bed instead of my knees) so he could be the one doing all the moving. I am actually still sore from some of those positions (like my stomach muscles and thighs, not what you are thinking, ha) so got a good workout, lol.

oh, and he did that thing with his cock where he would push up against me and kind of grind around inside in a circular motion where his pubic bone or something was stimulating my clit at the same time. It felt amazing lol and every time he’d start to pull away there would be a bit of suction. No idea how he was doing that but omg!!

The way he carried himself was hot too, and very dominant and the way he would laugh and start going faster and making me cum more when I was begging him to stop lol

As for the tempo it was great, had some old school rnb in the background and just moonlight. He said beforehand he thought I’d be more comfortable with him the first time without all the lights.It was supposed to be a one night stand, but that didn’t happen because we both were liking it too much. The second time we had sex was even better, lasted over 4 hours and he made me cum so much I seriously thought I was gonna have a heart attack. He used my toy on me and went down on me while holding the vibrator part close to my clit. OH MY FUCKING GOD, all I did for about 20 minutes straight was cum, over and over and over again, lol.

At one point I swear I thought I was gonna have a heart attack he was giving me so many orgasms and I had to make him STOP. That NEVER happens, haha. No one EVER wears me out!! The funny thing is that not long before I met him I had been arguing forcefully on a forum I used to post on that it was “IMPOSSIBLE” for a woman to have 30 orgasms in one sitting and that if she was telling you that she was LYING and FAKING it. Well, I’m here to say that I was TOTALLY wrong!!! And sooo glad I was!! 😉 😉

We had also talked about the possibility of having a threesome with another female. With most guys I’m not that into the idea but with him I wouldn’t mind so much because I know I’d go home happy. He says he’s had a lot of threesomes with two women and knows exactly how to make it good for everyone. With how fantastic he is in bed I believe him, lol. We looked on Craigslist once and had some possibilities but not the time. One girl was pregnant and another woman was over 50 and wanted to bring all kinds of toys, including nipple clamps (yikes) a butt plug (um…never tried it) and strap-ons, ha. That was before I’d ever been with another female so it was like woah, slow down a bit, lol. I’m sure he still wants that though. We will see.

All this writing about it is making me want to sleep with him again, sooo bad, ha! We just barely missed each other recently when I was home having an early Thanksgiving meal with relatives. He kept trying to persuade me to sneak out to meet him and I said if he’d hurry up I could and my sister would even cover for me but he was 30 minutes away and as he was getting closer my family was packing up to leave and I had to drive my grandma home. So at 15 minutes away he had to turn around and drive back. Dammit! LOL We will manage one of these days again ;).

To bi or not to bi, is that the question?

Being bisexual is all the rage for the young women of today. There seems to be a lot of pressure on females to identify as “bi”. After all, kissing and making out with other girls is a well-known tactic for turning on MEN. It seems sometimes women will do ANYTHING to attract male attention, even going so far as to fake their sexual orientation. Why wouldn’t they though, when top on the wish list for most guys is a girlfriend who will indulge them in their fantasies of a threesome involving two women? I sometimes wonder what the world would look like if women pushed men in the same direction. Would guys be willing to go gay occasionally, just for the sake of turning on their girlfriends?

It makes you wonder, but I don’t think it’s even that simple. A lot of women, (and maybe men, though they aren’t as likely to talk about it) ARE turned on by the idea of same sex play. Many of us indulge in it at one time or another, even if we DON’T identify ourselves as “bisexual”. I fully admit I have toyed with this myself and I have a very strong inclination towards MEN, lol.

I could tell you that my first sexual experience with other females was recently, during a six-some with two other couples and the Professor and I, and that would be partly true. I jumped right into it, kissing, touching, and going down on two other women and one went down on me. One of those women did me with a strap on while everyone watched. At one point she and I were in a 69 with each other whilst the Professor was doing me from the back. I had no qualms about any of it and thought it was lots of fun. I would definitely do it again.

Still, I am really reluctant to claim the “bi” label. I just love cock too much, lol. I don’t see women walking down the street and think how much I want to fuck them. I can recognize beauty and sexiness but my feelings are platonic. I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman outside of a friendship. Sex with another female is “just sex” and it’s missing what I really need to be fulfilled, both figuratively and literally. However I DID enjoy myself and would possibly even play with a woman by myself if I happened to be in the mood.

Actually, if I’m totally honest with you, my sexual exploration with other girls started long before that, even before I ever did anything with a guy. I can remember being as young as 8 or 9, spending the night at a friend’s house and she liked to play games that involved climbing on top of me naked. She would pretend to be a guy that had kidnapped and was going to rape me, sometimes even tying me up, taking off my panties and grinding on me to the point of orgasm, for both of us. Kind of kinky shit really, and it wasn’t just her, but with several other girls before I turned 12 or so and started to experience guys for real.

I know sex play and same sex play is normal for kids to engage in to some extent but mine probably went beyond that. I won’t get into all the details but it involved kissing and there were times it was pretty intense. Hell, we even had a sort of “orgy” once involving several girls. Still, I never felt particularly attracted to females as opposed to males and all of my crushes were on guys. Also, there were no mouths below the waist or fingering or anything like that. I never would have considered myself a lesbian.

Once, years later, I spent a day visiting a friend who went to the same high school as the girl mentioned above. She came up to say hi to me and I kind of shunned her because my friend said she’d come out as a lesbian and was telling people she knew me. I was afraid of being identified with her and have always felt guilty about treating her that way. The friend in question was really relieved that I didn’t embarrass HER by admitting to having been friends with this person. Sad how that works sometimes.

So moving on I basically put those experiences out of my head as soon as I discovered sex and relationships with the opposite sex. Sure I still had masturbatory fantasies that sometimes involved other females but I didn’t take it seriously and thought of it more as “just fantasy”. My friends and I would sometimes pretend to be gay to deflect drunken guys at parties (as if that really works!) but again that was simply a game in my mind. However, the only porn I really ever got into involved women having sex with each other. For some reason, that turned me on more than the male on female sex on the screen. I know I’m not the only woman like that.

Anyway, in recent years one of my sisters came out as a lesbian, which was kind of a shock since I’d never have expected it from her. She was in her late teens at the time and I predicted it would be a phase. Sure enough, after living with another female in a lesbian relationship for a couple of years she has now decided to have sex with men. She really wants a baby someday and I don’t think the lesbian thing was conducive to that dream! During that time another sister told me in secret that she considers herself bi. Then my mom told me about how she was considering a threesome with her (then) boyfriend and another woman. Sheesh. Just one coming out after another, lol.

Me though, as much as its thrown in my face on the swinger site and with all the couples that have propositioned me for sex, I just haven’t gone there other than with the Professor and those couples that one time. Honestly during that entire encounter, as fun as it was, I was REALLY looking forward to sex with the Professor at the end more than anything or anyone else. He’s just SOOOO hot in bed and I absolutely LOVE his cock, lol.

I’ll definitely never swing completely over to the other side. I’d say at this point I’m maybe 85% straight, with just that slight inclination to enjoy a dalliance here and there with another woman. Who knows though, maybe in the future I’ll surprise you. 😉

On being a slut

So I’ve been called a slut before. Big deal, right? I like sex. Apparently that’s a bad thing for a woman in our society, no matter how much we are told otherwise.

Honestly, I find the male attitude towards female sexuality rather puzzling and disturbing. I say the male attitude, because, let’s be real, when a woman calls another woman a “slut” it’s usually code for “I hate that stupid bitch” for whatever reason, or “stay away from my man”. That’s it. Women don’t really care how many people you’ve slept with if they consider you a FRIEND or feel neutral towards you as a person. It’s only if you are an arch enemy or a sexual threat that it becomes a concern. Movie stars are only sluts if your boyfriend is attracted to them or you just don’t like them in general to begin with.

So if a woman calls me a slut I know she either hates my guts or is afraid I’m after her guy. Ok, no big deal and I’m either going to roll my eyes or smirk upon hearing her declaration. Yawn. Unless she’s trying to start a fight, in which case, well, I’m too old for that shit, lol, please. I know she’s only jealous.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about MEN, and their reason for using this terminology. From men, being called a “slut” has a completely different connotation. Men are actually CONCERNED with the number of guys you have slept with. Like, for real. WTF right?

How is this even relevant? Does sleeping with 1 person, or 10 people, or 50, or 100 REALLY make a difference in what kind of person you are, how likely you are to cheat, or what your specific relationship to THAT guy is going to be? I don’t think so!

I don’t care how many clueless guys keep posting statuses on how “you can’t make a ho a housewife” on their Facebook wall, it’s simply not a theory that is grounded in reality. Now, I will agree that you can’t MAKE her be one, but if she chooses, of her own free will, to be a monogamous housewife, her past is IRRELEVANT. A woman who has only fucked a few people in her past is JUST as capable of cheating on you as one who went wild and crazy with it and did the whole damn town. Maybe even less so, hey, she’s sown her wild oats already, JUST LIKE YOU. So often these sentiments come straight from the mouths of men who’ve been around the block a few hundred times themselves.

In any case, men will think of you as a slut or not regarding the sheer number of people you’ve slept with and what you have done. Of course their viewpoint widely varies according to their own experience level, but generally they want you to have slept with fewer people than they themselves have. EYEROLL. Like, if he’s been with 50 people and you’ve done 15, you are probably okay, but don’t you dare say 51, if you want to have any kind of relationship. It’s pertinent you find out his number FIRST so you don’t say something stupid.

Are there more open minded guys out there? Of course but guaranteed it STILL bugs him if your number is higher than his. This is why I refuse to even discuss numbers anymore with a guy.

Now don’t get me wrong, most guys will be more than happy to sleep with you if they perceive you as a “slut”. In fact, this will turn them on even more but if you are looking for commitment and a real relationship it seems to be better to play the role of the reluctant and demure maiden.

I find this Madonna/whore complex simply MADDENING. It’s absurd! Comments like “I wouldn’t want her to kiss my children with that mouth” are a dime a dozen out there. In fact, I’ve gotten little “lectures” from guys on dating sites where I checked “casual sex” as one of the options. Men telling me that I shouldn’t be asking for casual sex. Seriously. Thanks dude, for all your “concern”, but I happen to LIKE it.

Do you ever hear any such thing from women? Do we perceive a man who has been sleeping with different girls as worthless? Hardly. Sure, women will sometimes “complain” about it but often set out to be the one who finally tames the beast. Men insist on looking at a “slut” as damaged goods. Somehow, sexual experience takes away your ability to be good relationship material. That in itself seems so off. A person who has slept around has MORE relationship experience to fall back on. Granted that sometimes comes with baggage, but the same is true for men and ONE bad relationship can leave a person with enough baggage to bog down their life if they don’t learn to let it go.

So anyway, if you are polyamorous or a swinger or running around in more enlightened sexual circles this shouldn’t be a problem right? You wouldn’t think so, but I STILL come across it! Take the other night with the Professor. We got into talking about a couple of past sexual experiences. Among his was a time when he slept with three women at once. He told me the story in detail. Still, when I started to talk about my own experiences he told me that was “TMI”. ::: blink, blink ::: He didn’t want to know!

He also has chastised me for meeting men off Craigslist. Apparently this is somehow more slutty than meeting HIM off of a swinger site. Um, okay? Oh, and when I was considering a threesome with my fuck buddy and another guy and mentioned it to him he made sure to tell me he would NEVER include me in such a thing. This is from a guy who has threesomes with men and their wives regularly. I’m soooo confused!! Why is it any worse for me? I could understand him feeling jealous at the thought of me with two other men when he wasn’t there, and that is one of the reasons I kind of backed down from the idea, but to learn that he would never want to see me in that position with him and another guy was kind of eye opening.

The Professor is also always trying to make like my relationship with my fuck buddy is based on the guy treating me like crap. He can’t wrap his head around the fact that I am equally as interested in a no strings attached thing as the guy. No really, I don’t WANT it to turn emotional. I am perfectly happy with our fuck and leave arrangement. It’s like he just can’t believe that women also sometimes can benefit from that. I am a very emotional person, with SOME people, but I reserve that for those that I care about on a different level. You would think knowing that I am less attached to the other guy than him would help him feel better about things but it actually seems to bug him more.

It’s not just him either!! The Love of My Life found out some things I had done in the past, like 15 years ago, from one of his brothers and was upset by it. Really? When you were THERE back then, know I was no angel and doing just as crazy stuff as me? Come on now!

The other thing that drives me nuts is when men say “I want a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets”. No, you don’t! Quit lying!! Y’all are full of shit!! LOL The minute YOUR “lady” gets too freaky you FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Just sayin….

Ladies, I know you all know what I’m talking about because SO OFTEN when I have tried to do something more freaky with a guy I am in a relationship with or been too aggressive about seeking out sex, they put me back in my place. They may have SAID they want you to initiate things or whatever but the minute you actually TRY this you get a comment like “what are you doing?” Um….nothing….really….nevermind….Im just gonna lay here and let you decide when you want to have sex, lol. SORRY. Being a sexual pursuer as a female just doesn’t go over like it does in the movies. Men don’t like it!!

What absolutely kills me is that men seem to want women they like to appear totally virginal, even when they KNOW damn well you aren’t! Like the guy I met on AFF (ADULT Friend Finder is a sex site, for those who don’t already know) who, after drinks and being invited back to my house and making out with me on the couch, asked me if I was “really okay” with him touching my boobs and if it wasn’t “going too fast”. Like, really dude? Are we in middle school? I don’t even remember anyone saying stuff like that to me back then! Haha….

Oh, and then there was the guy off the swinger site. He’d driven 4 hours to meet me. We’d had dinner and gone back to his hotel room. I’d brought a bag to stay overnight. We’d been talking about sexual stuff for over an hour. I went into the bathroom and changed into my sexy lingerie and walked out into the bedroom area. He came over onto the bed and we were making out. Then he stops to ask me if I was “really okay” with this. I said yes. So he asks me AGAIN, TWICE, if I was “really sure” I wanted to have sex. Um, do I LOOK like I want to have sex? Then he was like “you seem nervous”. Um, no dude, YOU are nervous, lol. GAH!! I swear at that point I was about ready to tell him no, just forget it and drive me home. By the third time I was seriously wondering if he actually wanted to have sex with ME and if he was somehow not into the way I looked in my lingerie. Was there something wrong with my body? Did he not want to fuck? What the hell? LOL

I guess he wanted me to play more innocent than I actually am. That seems to be the case with men in general, really. Play dumb, play innocent, this works and makes them happy, and they wonder why women are “hard to get”? Well, duh, because GUYS have been telling us for ages that we shouldn’t be too quick to sleep with you. Pick up almost any relationship book written from a man’s viewpoint and he’s telling you if you want respect you need to wait until you’ve been dating for awhile to have sex and blah, blah, blah. Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.

Pssshhhh….quit complaining guys, you dug your own hole. We know damn well if we throw ourselves at you or let you know just how fun all of our previous sexual exploits were, you’ll never consider us for a relationship. And that’s what every woman WANTS, deep down, I don’t care how “slutty” she is, she wants to develop REAL RELATIONSHIPS, not JUST sexual ones (though occasional flings or NSA things are fine). So we learn how to put up a front, for your benefit. If you don’t want that then stop asking for it. Don’t shame her when she tells you about her past and let her be herself. Don’t use the number of guys she’s been with or amount of things she has done as your ruler and measuring stick to what kind of person she’ll be. There are great women who’ve had a lot of sex and total bitches who’ve done the same thing. The same can be said of virgins! Sexual experience does not define character. I’m starting to sound like Bill Clinton, ha.

Seriously though, sluttiness isn’t always a bad thing. You may miss out on a great girl because you rated her sexuality as being negative. Fear of female sexuality is why you might not be getting any right now.

While I’m at it, stop assuming that every female who sleeps around HAS to want to sleep around with every guy she meets. A woman who likes sex doesn’t have to be indiscriminate about it. Most times, we AREN’T. We still don’t want to fuck most guys and are still going to be picky. Deal with it. Because she fucked some guys you know doesn’t mean you have a hall pass to fuck her too. It’s not necessarily going to happen. Likewise just because she is “slutty” doesn’t mean she wants to do every sexual act that you do. Maybe she sleeps with a lot of guys, but still hates anal. You might have better luck with that girl who has only been with 2 guys before in her life. You just NEVER know about people.

Again, lots of sex doesn’t equal all your fantasies come true. People are individuals, treat them as so. Quit painting women as Madonnas or whores. The best of us are a bit of both. I’ve been the housewife and the ho. They really can be mutually exclusive. The question is can you be the bad boy that is also a nice guy? Cause that’s what I want, dammit! 😉

USED…for phone sex, once again

I’ve been used for phone sex, more than once, by random strangers. There was the guy who I met on Plenty of Fish. He was funny over email and good looking. I thought I’d like him and we were supposed to go out on a date that night. Instead, he called me from an anonymous number, which he said was his hotel room. Also, his phone had overheated in the sun and then been dropped in a toilet, or something like that. He proceeded to ask me questions about my favorite sexual positions. I couldn’t really answer, I told him, because I was holding a toddler and my kids were close by. That was okay, just answer yes or no. 😉

So I did, as he apparently was jacking off and getting very excited. He told me what a sexy voice I have. I know right? While I’m standing there giving blunt “yes” or “no” answers to questions like “do you like doggystyle?” and trying to attend to my fussy little one. I’m sure that was super hot, lol. Then suddenly, it was all over. Clearly he had cum. He said goodbye and hung up, never to be heard from again. So much for the date! I guess it wasn’t necessary now.

Then there was the 50 something guy I met at the grocery store. The one who wanted me to check and see if any of his eggs were cracked, and followed me out to my car, hounding for my number. He said I looked like “an angel”. He was actually pretty attractive for his age and I admired his ballsy approach so I gave it to him. Oops. Turns out he was more cracked than any egg in the basket. Total stalker material, but I managed to avoid giving him the actual location of my home when he asked. Anyhow, he would call me on the phone from DIFFERENT NUMBERS, constantly, so I couldn’t block him, wanting to “talk”, which actually meant listening to me try and deflect him while he got off. He’d try to get me to call him “master” and go on about all the things he was going to do to me. I’d be like “um, I have to go” and he’d say “wait, wait, not yet” and keep talking. Wow.

I’ve never really been big on phone sex. I mean, virtually always, the guy gets off first and then he is done, so what’s the point? Half the time I’m not even doing what they think I am. I’m totally just letting him play with himself while I listen. Usually, it’s just listen because he’s the one going on about what he’s gonna do to me, lol. So “oh yeah” and “mmmm” are sufficient answers for the guys I actually like, and “yes” and “no” apparently work too. Hell, I guess “look, dude, I can’t talk right now” is pretty hot as well, as far as some guys are concerned.

I don’t know that I have a particularly sexy voice, though I have been told I do. One guy, who worked the phone line for a hotel chain told me I should be a phone sex operator. I was trying to book a room so that I could attend a funeral. Seriously? Makes you wonder. Like, wonder if any female voice will do for a horny guy.

So today, the Love of My Life calls me up. I haven’t talked to him on the phone for a while so it was kind of a surprise. He’s lying in bed and not going to work today, he says. I start telling him how the police showed up at my door this morning with my 12 year old and his friend, in handcuffs. They were caught climbing in the back of a tree trimming truck. He expresses appropriate sympathy then starts talking about what he wants to do to me.

I’m not really participating but I guess it was enough. I could hear him stroking furiously in the background and got quiet. Pretty soon it was over and he says I should be careful because I could get caught by my kids. Caught doing what? LOL I was sitting on my bathroom floor, with the fan on, listening to him and that’s about it. I hadn’t claimed otherwise. Then he announces “well, I’d better go take a shower now honey, talk to you later”. LMAO Did the Love of My Life just stoop to the same level as random dude from Plenty of Fish? Hahahaha

I feel so used!! 😉 I’m just playing, really I think it’s kind of funny. I’ve tried to participate in phone sex sessions in the past but it’s just never done it for me, which I guess is odd because I LOVE the sound of a guy’s voice when we are having sex. I just want to be actually having sex.

Yes, sometimes distance can make the real thing an unreality for the moment, and talking on the phone (when I don’t have kids around) can be nice and even dabbling into a sexual conversation. I’m more likely to go and masturbate on my own afterwards than to actually be able to cum while talking to him though. Its hard for me to find the time to relax and get into it. Maybe that’s due to being a mom, but I never really liked phone sex that much when I was younger either.

So I guess I’m not a fun phone sex friend. Not that men seem to mind. Apparently we could be talking about politics, or the weather, or bills and they would get all hot. Cracks me up! Am I alone here? Ladies do you enjoy phone sex? Guys, what is the deal? Are the words “yes” and “no” really sufficient enough to fuel your fapping fantasies? SMH….

The problem with porn

My ex- husband claimed he was addicted to porn. So addicted, that he lacked the desire to actually have sex with a flesh and blood female. That was his story. It’s hard to say how much of that was truth, but I do know that he, like virtually every other male on the face of the planet, had some sort of relationship with women in pictures and on a screen.

I have to admit I resented the voyeuristic tendencies of men very strongly during those years. I came to view pornography as my competition, as the evil force that was out to destroy my home and family. I was angry that I was being rejected due to my husband’s obsession with women who were really only portraying a fantasy, something I could never live up to. I felt like I was being cheated on. Like seriously, you’d rather do that than fuck me?

Now I’ve come to realize that he may have been simply using that as an excuse, to cover up possible homosexual tendencies. Perhaps it was porn that involved his dominatrix fantasies, which I discovered during the divorce. I really can’t say, because he never would own up to it or let me see what he was actually watching.

I know that he had gone to porn booths, which I knew nothing about beforehand and am still a little hazy on. Apparently that involves putting change into a video player in a booth and watching movies while you jack off. Relatively harmless sounding, to me, but I’ve since heard that people actually have anonymous sexual encounters there, sometimes involving other men. Oh, so that’s why it was such a big deal. Hmmm…. He’d even supposedly talked over his “problem” with our pastor and went to a special men’s group at the church where they discussed this very issue, because so many men in the church were “struggling” with porn problems.

It’s funny because when we were dating, and I was 18, before we’d gotten to the point where he “rededicated his life to Christ” and decided he couldn’t sleep with me anymore before marriage, I’d actually tried to get him to watch a porn movie WITH me. After all, at that time in my life I knew plenty of young men who watched porn and it had never occurred to me that it might be a “problem” that needed fixing.

I’d seen a few porn movies myself, with guys mostly, and with friends and never really thought too much about it. Actually, I mostly found them more entertaining than a turn on, but they were interesting. So I dragged the ex to the xxx video store (back before the internet was so mainstream). I was curious to find something we could watch as a couple and was sadly disappointed that the whole place was filled with movies that only seemed interesting to men. I mean there were a few video covers with attractive guys on the front, but those were the gay ones. I asked the guy behind the counter for help and he pointed us in the general direction of some videos made for couples. My ex- husband looked like he wanted to crawl through the floor. He later said watching porn just wasn’t something you did with another person. Huh?

Anyway, with an odd seeming sense of trepidation, he picked out the movie. We went back home to watch it. WOW. It was horrible. SO bad that I was practically rolling on the floor laughing the entire time. This really unattractive, old, balding, fat man who couldn’t get an erection was standing there talking and his beautiful, dolled up and in sexy lingerie “wife” was doing things to try and get him turned on. Then it turned to her whipping him and him crawling on the floor and kissing her feet and begging. OMG, it was pathetic and a huge turn OFF, at least for me. I now know that those type of things excited my ex- husband, but he was afraid to tell me about it, I guess.

We were a horrible sexual match, two people who would both prefer to be submissive in bed. Not cool. I guess I’d given him a different impression in the beginning because I was so forward with sexual things and used to a certain level of expectation. Like on our first date I automatically gave him a blow job, because that’s what every other guy seemed to want. It never crossed my mind that would be seen as aggressive, but him, being sexually much more inexperienced, probably saw it as so. It was only after the date (and we’d had sex too, me climbing on his lap in the car because, well, I was horny and that’s just what you did, right?) that I realized he saw my actions as slutty and I started to backtrack and freak out, trying to portray a more ladylike image. I can kind of see why he mistook me as more dominant than I really am.

So back to porn. He claimed he rarely watched it but that it was still an addiction. I don’t get it, but that’s okay. As for me, I’ve not watched a lot of porn either. Mainly I think it’s because I’m not really a voyeur. I just don’t get that turned on by watching a dick going in and out and in and out repeatedly from the viewpoints and angles you see in porn. Whoop de do. :p Plus it’s just funny to me, the plotlines are so ridiculous and back then the skinny, hairy guys just weren’t sexy to me at all. And what is with all the attractive women and totally UNattractive men? Come on now.

I remember the first “real” porn movie I ever watched. It was called Tabu III and I watched it at a guy’s house with a bunch of other teenagers. My girlfriend and I were cracking up at the stupidity of the comments “but, you’re my mother” (OMG!!!). We laughed so hard through the whole thing, I can’t imagine it actually getting me wet. There was a lesbian scene somewhere that kinda excited me but that was about it. Wash, dry, rinse and repeat with just about every porn movie I saw back then. The soft porn was just too boring and the harder stuff was mostly funny. I did see a threesome scene with two guys and a woman standing on a roadside somewhere that I kinda liked though. 😉

Now I had seen stuff when I was younger, but it was mostly involving naked women. A friend’s dad had a playboy centerfold photo up in his garage and piles of magazines so I’d seen those, but not particularly of interest to me other than just basic curiosity. I’d also seen some sort of Showtime movie involving two women in a steam room making out naked, that was kind of hot, but most porn just really didn’t impress me. I once purchased a Playgirl, just to see what it was like but again, it only made me laugh. Some naked guy I don’t know posing is kind of funny and their idea of attractive doesn’t really jive with mine.

I guess I’m a typical female in that I’d rather READ a steamy, sexy story than watch it on the screen. That way I can fill in the pictures with my imagination. I wonder if that is because so much porn caters to men and I just haven’t seen much that would turn me on. I’m not into ugly guys fucking attractive women and never going down on them. That seems to be like 85% of the porn out there. The emotional coldness, the obvious faked orgasms (a lot of women in porn don’t even bother to fake it), the bored or “God, would you just hurry up already so I can get paid” looks on the females’ faces, it just doesn’t do anything for me.

I don’t know though, I once watched some online webcam videos of real couples having sex, with a guy friend of mine. That was incredibly boring to me too. Like one couple the woman was sitting on top of the man and spent what seemed like ages just running her nails up and down his chest. I could barely sit through it and wanted to fast forward to the “good part” just like I would have to with a regular porn movie most of the time. The same positions for a long time too, just not worth watching. I don’t get all that excited seeing people have sex in real life either, like at the swinger parties. Maybe I just need to participate. And I do kind of like being watched! 😉

Don’t get me wrong. I love to read and have written a few erotic stories of my own and I love to watch myself and guys I am into on video. I’m over the “porn is evil” mindset because it’s obvious to me that it only becomes an “issue” when you make it one. I also like to find out what kind of porn the guys I like are into because it gives me an idea about them and what they are secretly fantasizing about, and I can capitalize on that! 😉 I just hope they aren’t secretly into something I can’t provide. If they’re hoping for anal with Asian women, midgets and whip wielding dominatrixes, I’m not gonna be able to cut it, lol. It’s good to know that though, so you at least realize it’s not you, it’s him. Of course I fantasize about some things I’d never actually do, so we can’t assume every porn dream is a desired reality either.

The Love of My Life once sent me an entire file full of porn and didn’t explain why. I asked but he didn’t respond. Okay, he must want me to watch some of this? So I did and was pleasantly surprised that it was mostly amateur stuff and the women all looked very different from one another. I have to say though that one particular video may have scarred me for life. It was of a gigantic woman with a big, hairy bush. Her ass was completely covered with pimples and she was just butt booty ugly (sorry, its true!). So the guy kept oiling her ass over and over and having her wiggle and jiggle it for the camera. Boy, that was exciting. Or not. Hahaha Then he fucked her but it was just….yucky. Another one had a girl with big boobs jumping up and down on a bed for a long time naked. Okay. It seemed like some of the fucking scenes took forever to get to and I had to fastforward through all the boring “foreplay”. Most of it involved a woman sucking the guy’s dick and then sex, but she didn’t get any licking. Boooooo!! Selfish, selfish, men, who of course had to end by cumming on her face or some other act that was meant to appear degrading. Or the women would act terrified due to a guy with a gigantic dick. Snort…

He later told me he had done computer work for the porn company and that he’d only watched the first 20 seconds or so of each video because of it and was laughing at the way the people had gotten some of the women to participate. Mmmmmkay…. Well, I guess they got paid anyway, let’s hope.

I was once at the Professor’s house and he was showing me pictures he’d taken at a relative’s wedding ceremony when a site he’d been on accidentally popped up. Mature lesbian porn. So that’s what he apparently watches. Hmmmmm…. interesting. He does tend to go for the older women.

So the other day I saw a porn video someone posted on a forum that I actually kind of liked. It was this one (please don’t click link if you are under 18).

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=762251480

I’m loving how they look at each other and that she obviously enjoys it. You don’t see much of that in porn. She actually had some real orgasms too. Wow. She’s touching him and saying things that I sometimes say in the heat of the moment too so it seems more genuine. Nice. I showed it to the Professor and said this kind of reminds me of us. He agreed but said “yeah, but you cum way more than that,” which is true, especially with him, lol. That’s a relatively new development for me though. Until earlier this year, with the married man, I’d hardly cum during sex with a guy. Actually, it’s debatable if I’d ever at all, with anyone other than myself, and I’d had a fair amount of sex with a fair amount of people, some of whom were pretty darn good in bed. So it’s not all the guys fault, but that’s another topic, lol.

So what are your thoughts on porn? Do you like it? If so do you have a favorite type? Are you male or female?