Tag Archive | travel

Took a trip, and am I tripping?

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I haven’t even had a chance to tell you all about another man in my life! We will call him Chicago. He lives here in my city half the time, but travels back and forth to his home in Chicago every couple of weeks. He works from home doing some kind of computer engineering, but prefers living there, to here (where his child is) so he has condos in both places.

Actually, he recently flew ME to Chicago to stay with him for a weekend! He wined and dined me and took me to my first comedy show- to see Cedric the Entertainer. It was an exciting weekend for me, with getting to travel and experience new things. His condo has a beautiful view of Lake Michigan and he took me to a delicious steak house, where he dropped well over $200 for dinner.

Here’s the view of Lake Michigan from his condo:
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And my lovely bubbling drink at the steak house:

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I’d had some car troubles, thanks to my teenager (long story), so Chicago covered rental vehicles for me to take my kids to their dads, and also paid for my gas. His brother drove me to the airport. Obviously, this guy is doing alright financially. 😉

Actually, he’s been probably more of a Sugar Daddy than any of the others, buying and giving me things here and there. He gave me a brand new printer for my computer and bought me a shawl so I wouldn’t need to borrow his jacket when we go out. He’s taken me out for lots of dinners at nice restaurants and to the movies several times.

Sounds fabulous right? Well, not quite. I’m really, just not feeling this guy. I just can’t bring myself to LIKE him that much. I’m trying, really I am, but it’s just not there.

He’s obviously doting on me, and being a nice person. He claims to like me a lot. Yet, some things just really bug me. I’ve finally figured out that he reminds me of my ex husband.

He reminds me of him in SEVERAL ways. One, is how he acts in the bedroom. We just can’t seem to have good sex. There is like, NO chemistry. He’s doing some of the same things that other guys do, at least trying to be good, but it’s just not working for me! It’s so weird.

One of the things that bothers me, is that he just doesn’t seem to be able to, or maybe he’s just not interested in, reading my body language. If I don’t like something, and try to make it clear, he just keeps trying to do the same damn thing!

Like he has an obsession with trying to lick my nipples. Sometimes I like that, but not the way he does it. He will lunge toward my nipples with his tongue flicking out and I am like cringing. I’ll kind of push him away and he comes back again in full force. So I actually covered my nipples with my hands and he tried to pull them off! I wouldn’t let him so he’s laughing about it, what you don’t like that? I said they feel sensitive and now he harrasses me about it, major turnoff. He is constantly trying to do what I have made clear I wasn’t feeling.

What’s crazy is that my ex husband would try to do that very same thing and act the very same way about it- annoyed with ME for not enjoying something. Get over it already and quit trying to do something I’m obviously not liking! Sheesh!

That’s just one example. The rest of the sex just isn’t working well either. I just don’t like it.

I’m sure some of it, is that he’s just NOT the Cohort. I’m emotionally attached and it makes it hard for me to be with someone new. I only started seeing this guy after the last miscarriage, when I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with he and I.

Still, it’s not just the bedroom where he’s acting insensitive. He doesn’t seem to pay any attention to the things I SAY to him. It’s like he cuts me off or changes the subject or just says “uh-huh” like I’m not saying anything interesting. It’s very upsetting to me to not feel heard when I am talking. That too, is very much like my ex, who brushed off anything I wanted to talk about (outside of the Bible or politics) as unimportant.

He also has a tendency to over-explain things to me, like he thinks I am an idiot or something. It makes me feel like a child. He took me to a park the other day (and to eat afterwards) and insisted on looking up the history of the park on his phone and reading to me about how it was donated by some woman whose husband owned a biscuit factory, like he was giving me a lesson. TOTALLY like my ex husband, who was always lecturing about something.

He actually wanted to talk about scripture on our last date. Uggggghhh… he said because it was something “different” than what most people talk about and he thought it would be a nice change of pace. I spent 15 years talking about the Bible. I didn’t want to be rude but I really didn’t feel like elaborating on my thoughts about various passages of scripture. It felt torturous.

He wants to hold hands, and be “romantic” all the time but it makes my skin crawl. I feel guilty, but I can’t help it! It’s frustrating.

Anyway, when we got back to his place, I decided to play a little game, just to test and see if he actually does listen to anything I say. I asked him some questions about myself to see if he knew the answers to any of them, all things I had told him before. I was like what color are my eyes? He said “blue” (we were in candlelight and my eyes are green). I asked how many siblings do I have, where did I go to high school, what did I major in in college? He got them ALL wrong. Then I let him ask me stuff and I got every single answer RIGHT. Because I actually freaking LISTEN when someone is talking to me!

It bothers me so much, that I don’t know if I can stand it much longer, even with all the perks. His birthday is coming up soon and he has decided he wants me to make him a picnic with wine and grapes and strawberries that we feed each other on a blanket outside, and then I give him backrubs. It sounds kind of like Hell on earth. Not sure how to get out of it without being rude though.

I guess all this kind of explains why my trip to Chicago, while fun in some ways, just wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. The whole time I was really missing the Cohort and wishing he was the one with me. We would have had SO much fun, doing those exact same things together. Heck, I can have a blast with the Cohort at the grocery store! Lol

Chicago took me to the store with him the other day and I was miserable. He took like an hour to buy stuff and it was soooo boring. It reminded me of being a kid and getting dragged along on errands with old people. Bleah.

I was positively aching for the Cohort the whole time I was away in Chicago. He didn’t even know I was gone (it was two days, one night) but I missed him something awful. Then he called, right as I was boarding the plane. I told him where I was and actually ended up getting MAD at him for no reason. I think it was just all that pent up resentment that I was spending my time with someone else, when he was who I’d rather be sharing all this with. At that time we were trying not to have sex with each other.

We couldn’t talk after the plane took off, so I stewed on my thoughts for awhile and finally figured out that was what it was. So I told him the truth and said I missed you and the whole time I was here I wanted to be with you. Being with this guy was mostly meant to take my mind OFF of him, but it hasn’t been working very well.

Inspiration Station

inspiringblogaward

Being a Meyers Briggs type ENFP, is it any wonder that I keep getting nominated for the Inspiring Blogger Award? 😀 We are known as the “Inspirers” and sometimes called the “Champions” of the personality spectrum. It fits me to a T, because I LOVE to encourage, motivate, excite, and build people up! Making others feel good is definitely my forte and I especially enjoy it when it comes to my lovers! 😉

SeattlePolyChick
, who has been one of my favorite bloggers since I first discovered WordPress, has nominated me for the award this time. Her blog is always insightful and heartfelt, open and real. She is struggling right now, sort of like I was about 6 weeks ago with the Professor, so I appreciate the opportunity to give her some encouragement. Check out her blog, I promise you will love it!! It always inspires ME in my open relationship journey.

I’m also excited about the opportunity to introduce you to 15 more wonderful bloggers! Each time I receive an award I wonder if I am going to be able to come up with enough of them but I keep finding more and more that I know you will enjoy! This list is composed of people I have discovered fairly recently and they are ALL fabulous!

Firstly though, I will reveal 7 more facts about myself. Maybe I can inspire you to think outside the box and try something different. For those of you for whom this may be new, those are the rules of receiving the award: give 7 facts about yourself followed by nominating and linking 15 more deserving blogs. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to reference and link to the blog that nominated YOU (wink, wink). Okay, here goes….

1. I am a huge fan of homeschooling and homeschool my own children. Not to say it is never trying but I really ENJOY it. I love, love, love reading to my kids and opening their minds to great literature. There are always fears that I’ll mess up somehow and the kids will be screwed but I try and remember that while we may not be on par with the public school and don’t even follow a typical curriculum, they have a lot of benefits that public school children do not.

We have a very relaxed attitude towards schooling and focus first on lots and lots of reading, preferably of great books and not just mediocre ones. My philosophy, for those who are in the know, is sort of an eclectic mix of Charlotte Mason style and unschooling along with workbooks for certain subjects, like math and grammar. We also utilize Sonlight books and book lists, minus the Christian aspect at this point.

2. I love to travel and wish I had the opportunity to do it more often. Right now, finances and children make it more difficult but it is my dream to someday visit many more places around the world. So far I’ve only been out of the U.S twice, to Israel and to Mexico (Cabo San Lucas area). I’ve been to more than half of the states within the U.S. but that is not enough! A girl can dream right? I’d love to go to Greece and also Australia, those are first on my wish list.

3. My first time on a surfboard I was a baby. My dad was taking me out on his as a toddler and surfing with me! So when I went back to live with him as a young teen, it came naturally. I mostly prefer to boogie board however. Too bad there is no beach where I live now! I love the feeling of riding a wave. Wheeee!

Only, I’m not so fond of getting banged up on the rocks. One Christmas morning, when the waves were about 8-10 feet tall, I was way out on my boogie board and caught a big wave to shore. It dragged me across about an inch of water over the reef that left me with razor like cuts all down my legs. Not fun! I’ve also got a scar on my knee from a surfing injury and once dislocated my shoulder out in the waves, but hey, I’m alive, haha.

4. I was a vegetarian for 5 years. It wasn’t really about saving the animals or any major political reason. I stopped eating meat when I lived with my father, because they didn’t and kept up my will power all through high school, until I was dating my ex –husband in college and we had dinner with his parents. They were really pushing me to enjoy the pot roast his mother had made and I didn’t want to hurt any feelings. Man, did it taste good that day too! Ha!

Because I was a vegetarian, and also liked to have a lot of sex, my friends (male and female) would sometimes tease me by singing that song about Mary Mo, she’s a vegetarian, she don’t like meat but she sure likes to bone! That’s not the only song I got teased with referring to sex, haha, there were a few, surprise, surprise!!

5. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom! Okay, not really, it was Subway and I was dating a guy that worked there (we were 15 and 13 so this is acceptable, haha). We actually did it more than once, I’d come in for a visit and quickie. We also boned in the bathrooms in the lobby at a Holiday Inn, both the men’s and the women’s. There were times when people walked in and we had to be quiet and I was like standing on the toilet so no one could see my feet. I think I mentioned the porta potty incident… Ive done some sort of kinky masturbating in the showers at a camping spot on the beach before too, but no one was in there besides me. Oh and at the gym and another camping shower. I’m always fantasizing that some cleaning guy or someone will walk in. 😉

6. I LOVE dressing up and getting all dolled up with sexy lingerie, etc. I really haven’t had much opportunity to do so since my ex wasn’t really into it. Also, I am broke, haha, so can’t afford much but I do have some cute bra and panty sets and am thinking about ordering a bodystocking for my next party. It has a theme that would be fitting to wear one for and I’m looking forward to the chance to go all out. I was looking online at all the sexy outfits and costumes and totally just drooling, lol. Getting the chance to WEAR it somewhere would be so fun!! I love thigh highs too, and heels, all of it. Inwardly I’m a glamour girl. 😉

7. I’m NOT particularly flexible, lol, but I’m working on it. My pole dancing class helps some with that endeavor. Maybe I need to do Yoga or something too. One of the gals in my class does “hot yoga” where they turn the temperature up really high before doing various yoga poses and that sounds kind of interesting to try out.

When I got my massage the other day the woman kept referring to me as “athletic”. I’ve never really thought of it that way but I suppose I do have some pretty solid thighs, haha. I generally prefer fun dancing and running types of activities for working out. I’ve never been able to do a full split. This is why I hated ballet as a kid, and didn’t last very long.

Anyhow, enough of that, it’s time to discover a whole new world of blogs out there!! These are some of my newest finds and I know you will really enjoy them too!

1. Cliterary Review
2. Deviant Wench
3. Her Scorched Earth
4. Him and Her Sex Blog
5. Inside a Woman’s Mind
6. Kinky Poly
7. Limitless Love
8. Love Small Penis
9. My Haven For Thought
10. Please Me Please
11. Rouged Mount
12. Stories from a Man’s Abyss
13. Tales from a Sex Starved Wife
14. Naughty Novellas
15. The Ability to Love- Recovery from Psychopathic Abuse