Tag Archive | the Lifestyle

You’re gonna miss what you had…

It’s ten days in and I haven’t contacted the Professor.  I hope he’s miserable.  I hope he’s realizing what a dumb move it was to dump me and how hard it will be for him to find a replacement.  Sure, he can go around banging these old married ladies but none of them are ever going to compare to me.  I mean, not to be conceited, but…if everything guys tell me is true then I’m not such a bad “catch”. 

PLUS, he will always have to deal with their husbands, with a man involved, whether he is watching or taking pictures or into threesomes or just telling his wife whether or not she can play that day.  There aren’t a lot of single women in the Lifestyle either.  There’s a reason they are called “unicorns”.  He can’t even get into a lot of the swinger parties without a woman as a date.  No one else is going to be as accessible as I was and the majority of single women outside of the Lifestyle are not going to be near as easygoing about coming along for the ride. 

Every single man I meet that is on the swinger site WANTS me to come to a party with him! The fuck buddy has asked me as well as the married man and the officer and a couple guys I’ve gone on dates with or talked to.  They all seem to be looking for a swinging partner. I’ve always said no in the past because I didn’t want to show up with anyone other than the Professor.  People already were treating us as though we were a couple and I felt like it would be disrespectful.  He said himself that he got a lot more offers and attention when I was there with him. I think he deserves to be knocked upside the head, lol.

Even barring all that, he also told me I was some of the best sex he’s ever had in his life.  So it’s not just me that will be missing out on that little perk.  Take that!

Oh, and he’s a man.  For the most part women aren’t coming up to him and seeking him out for sex.  He has to go looking and looking and looking and put up with all kinds of rejection in the process.  Me, not so much.  There is a lot more chance of him ending up lonely and by himself than me.  Yes, he’s fabulous in bed but no one is going to be aware of that until they agree to have sex with him and even then some people just really do have more chemistry than others

I don’t really know why men think I’m good in bed but they keep telling me that.  The officer actually texted me today to tell me “your sex game is amazing”, LMAO.  

Then he wanted to know if I had another woman I wanted to bring in on the fun. :p  Men are so funny.  They all seem to think women like fucking their girlfriends and that we are going to have one on hand to share guys with.  Yeah right!  I can’t think of anything more likely to cause drama in a friendship than that, even if I were so inclined. 

Anyhow, he’s also missing out on the daily companionship and affection from me.  Sure he can get that from the married woman too, but she’s far away and limited in her interactions with him.  She’s not going to bring him by a meal when he’s sick or physically be there to touch and tease him except on rare occasions.  I mean, it was over six months since he last had sex with her, assuming he’s telling the truth.

The majority of our interactions were fun and lighthearted and sexy and affectionate.  I think I’ve written about most of the drama.  If that’s too much for him, well, there is a lot he could have done to prevent it so I feel like it’s partially his choice.  Yes, I have things I need to work on and I’m not forgetting that but I don’t want to take ALL the blame either.

Last month I slept with 4 guys.  The Professor, my fuck buddy, the guy I met off Craigslist that had the smallish cock and the Officer. I also went on a date with another guy and though I didn’t get to write about it, I did end up going back over to his house for a kiss.  He was the guy that gave me the flowers. He had said how much he wanted to kiss me and asked me to stop by so I finally did and we kissed for a few then I left, lol.  Haven’t heard from him since, which is odd, but again we both were having breakups and I didn’t feel any real chemistry. 

My grandmother, the night after our first date, informed me that at some point I had accidentally dialed her number on my phone and that she was sitting there listening to our conversation “for 8-10 minutes”.  Lovely!  LOL  She told me she heard him talking about his girlfriend, so apparently she knows I was out with some guy that had a girlfriend who is pregnant with another man’s (possibly) baby though it could also be his.  Wonder if she heard anything about Craigslist??  At least it was a fairly tame conversation, lmao.  I can only imagine if I’d been there with the Officer or something…..eek!

The Professor did look at my swinger profile once so far.  Wonder what he was thinking?  I do miss him, a lot, but I’m also pretty hurt and as the days go by I feel more angry.  Maybe I am getting over him, that is one of the stages of grief. 

I was looking at the swinger site tonight and guess whose profile I came across?  The DJ stalker guy I wrote about in Stopping the Stalkers! And guess who had validated him and said they were FWB?  One of the women that the Professor has told me he played with before!  Hilarious!  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since there are a limited amount of folks in this area on that site and it would make sense that we might have the same taste.  She had also told the Professor she really liked that guy I went out on a date with but thought smelled?  Ewwwww…. 

The DJ is pretty good looking and has nice pics.  He was just….crazy.  Of course with this woman being married also he probably didn’t act like such a nutcase and wasn’t trying to get her to be his girlfriend! With her husband around he probably wasn’t going to hold her down and refuse to let her get up or go in without a condom when she was insisting he should wear one.  I think there are a lot of benefits to having a more serious man in your life if you are going to play this way. 

Doing it as a single woman is definitely a lot more risky, not just physically, but emotionally.  I definitely would have felt a lot safer if the Professor had wanted to do this from the framework of having a “relationship” but he didn’t want to give me that. That’s really what the gist of our coming to an end had to do with.  I couldn’t handle it without a more secure base to work from.

My other option is to just keep emotional distance from everyone and I can do that when I set my mind to it.  If I’m not attached to anyone it’s not going to hurt so much to be rejected or feel abandoned.  Still, it’s one of the reasons I stay away from FMF threesomes, thus far.  I had that one experience where I felt left out and it killed me to the point that I am very afraid of going there without the reassurance that the guy involved is super into ME. 

Maybe it would be different if I just come in as a third wheel though so far I have shied away from that too.  There is this guy I have texted with back and forth that has a really nice body (per his pics anyway) who texted me a picture of a girl he has played with before and asked me if I’d consider a threesome with them.  I saw her pic and was thinking um, no way.  This girl looks way younger than me and clearly hasn’t had kids and it’s like I so don’t want to be the old hag in the interaction that gets “left out”.  Yeah, no thanks!  The only time it sounded more appealing was when the married man wanted me to join him and his wife, lol.  Because in that case I just wouldn’t feel the jealousy.  However, she might.  Plus, he’s good enough in bed for the both of us and then some!

 Dangit I wish he was free on weekends.  Gonna have to figure something out here soon with him. 😉 Talked to him recently and he says he wants to see me but no solid plans.  The FWB is off to another state again and the guy I had the affair with is stuck at home for an event with his kid.  He invited me to come along actually, but I don’t think I will, lol.  I should be up that way in a few weeks anyway.

Of course my trusty fuck buddy is still around and the Officer should be swinging back this way shortly.  I wonder though, if I will end up alone and depressed for the weekend.   Maybe it’s time to hit up Craigslist?  Or perhaps I will just spend it getting my massage and nails done and taking one of my kids on an outing that we’ve planned.  Guess I will see.  I don’t want to sleep with just anyone and still want to be choosy.  I know all too well how decisions on sleeping with someone made in haste sometimes end up in regret. :p

Flashback: My First Swinger Party

swingers

I was just realizing I haven’t told the story of my FIRST swinger party on my blog and that some of you all might like to read about it. 🙂 I get quite a bit of traffic from people doing google searches about swinger parties so I gather there are a lot of folks out there who are interested in hearing about personal experiences before they ever give it a try themselves. So for them, and all of you, I’m reposting something I wrote on a forum that first night (which was like 6 months ago now). Enjoy a little flashback to my first ever entrance into “the Lifestyle”…. 😉

A little backstory for those who don’t know. I met a guy awhile back on Craigslist and he had told me about a site for swingers and swinger parties that he is on. I signed up but didn’t put up a picture or profile and was just looking and checking it out. After he and I had sex he got really into me and didn’t seem as excited about me going to the party but he knew I was curious and wanted to attend one in our area. I had spent the better part of our first date asking him questions about it and then we had sex on this trailhead sign at a local walkway. Slept with him one other time since then but he is clearly head over heels. He has gone over and above trying to do things for me. He’s a really nice guy and decent in bed just am not super into him. I feel bad because he likes me a lot but I’m just not feeling it. :/

Okay so there was an upcoming party in our area that I really wanted to check out. He was already signed up and had told me before that prior to parties he emails with potential prospects that he might play with. He knew I wanted to go even though he didn’t seem as excited about it and suggested I add more to my profile after signing up so people could contact me. So I updated it a bit (still no picture but they can see I am a single female) and put my name on the list where people could click and look at my profile if they were thinking about going. I got a few emails from that but only responded to one guy.

The guy I responded to is a Professor at a local University. He and I went out on a date, followed by some really good sex the night before the party. He offered to accompany me to the party so that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable and said he would drive me there (it was a little outside of town). I was a little concerned about the other guy’s reaction but he was already going to be there (at a hotel next door, he lives like an hour and a half away) and I tried to diffuse it a bit by telling him I had met someone who offered to drive me and that I would be drinking so it would probably be best. We ended up going together as a couple because the party was already full with the allotted amount of single males (which I think is 10%). The trailhead guy wasn’t too excited and said he thought it would be fine to drive myself but I really didn’t want to show up there alone anyway.

The party started early, but the professor and I decided to show up a few hours later due to my having to pay for a babysitter and because he said things pick up later on anyway. So when we showed up all eyes were on us. Being an interracial couple when there are only 2 other black people (both single males) at the party where there are about 150 people kind of does that, and me being new and all, we attracted some attention. I was wearing a brown and tan zebra print dress that is kind of a cross between a sundress and a wrap around and a bodysuit, lol. (It also has hidden pockets so I was able to slip my cell phone in and leave my purse in the car) Tight enough to show off curves pretty well and my wooden, zebra print, semi- platform heels, which are about 4 inches tall and made me taller than him, lol. He was in a nice dress shirt and slacks.

So when we walk in the door we had to sign some forms and the professor made a donation for us to get in. One of the ladies sitting at the table looked very familiar. I think she used to attend the church where my ex husband was children’s pastor….gulp…lol She kept kind of looking at me throughout the night. I’m sure she was all wtf, the children’s pastor’s wife is here with some black dude at a swinger party….heart attack, lmao! Not to mention that was in a very small, very white, community of about 1,500 people that is 30 minutes away from here and everyone knows his family and his dad is a well known preacher. Ah well….

The layout of the club was a bunch of long tables, one side was the smoking section and the other side was non smoking. In between there was a stripper pole and at the front there was a dance floor. Behind the tables was a table with food and drink but it was bring your own alcohol and the Professor had brought a cooler with our bottles of wine. Off to the side of the smoking section there were two silhouette rooms made with curtains. One room had a Sybian machine and the other had a sex swing. The lighting was set so that you could see the silhouettes of people playing in those rooms. Soon after we walked in the door we could hear a woman screaming loudly above the music on the Sybian. LOL

The people were of varying ages and sizes. There were a lot of unattractive older people as expected but there were also several younger, more attractive people roaming around as well, mostly couples. Some of the people were half naked. A lot of women were topless, but mostly these were older ladies or overweight ones. The more attractive folks for the most part, had clothes on. The professor seemed to know quite a few people and led me around introducing me to them. Shortly after we arrived I saw the trailhead guy waving me over to talk. He was sitting at a table surrounded by fat ladies who seemed interested in him. The professor insisted I let him pour me a drink first and was like “then you can go over and talk to your friend”. So we got situated and drank a little and met a few people first.

First thing he introduced me to a couple of older men and one of them recognized me off of AFF!! He was like “you have a picture of just your ass as your profile on there don’t you?” Um, yes I do, and NO face pics so I don’t know how the hell he knew it was me. It kind of freaked me out and he said something about me having an uncommon name so he recognized it. I was wondering how on earth an old white guy would have had a chance to find out my name on AFF because its not like I respond to very many emails like that, especially sharing my real name. I think I’ve finally figured out that he has to be that sugar daddy guy that I had corresponded with for awhile, but never went through with. He said he remembered me from a couple of years ago. Eeeek! Then an almost naked older lady in a thong came up and was hugging and rubbing on the professor from the back. Soon after an older man that he introduced me to pulled me out on the dance floor and wanted to dance with me old school style, spinning me around and stuff while I was in my heels to a slow song…lmao. The professor danced with his wife.

I briefly made it over to say hi to the trailhead guy and he made some comment about my “date” that made it obvious he wasn’t too happy about it. I flirted for a few then dashed off again because I didn’t want to make the fat ladies too jealous. The professor was leading me around, introducing me to more people and took me into the sybian room to watch a lady on it and then to the sex swing. As soon as I walked into the sex swing room a woman told me to get up on it and try. I was still feeling pretty shy and tried to decline but she insisted and said I didn’t have to do anything but that she would eat my pussy if I liked. I climbed up on it but declined having my pussy ate, lmao. I just wasn’t ready for that yet. She asked another time but I said that’s ok. I sat in the swing and the other people left and the professor started kissing and fingering me and talking to me while I drank some more wine in there. We didn’t stay too long though and went to meet more people.

I finally made it back over to the trailhead guy. The professor offered to accompany me but I said that I would be okay (he already knew about the other guy and that we had sex before and he likes me). So I went over and he was excited to talk to me and told me that some fat, old woman had cornered him in the bathroom and pushed him up against the wall and took off her panties and said how much she loves big, black men and that it had kind of freaked him out and he told her he likes to take time to get to know people first, lol. Anyway, he wanted me to stay and talk and one of the women he was sitting with seemed a little irked so I tried to engage her in conversation too. He told me if I needed I ride home I didn’t need to go with the professor guy but that this girl would drive me. I said I thought I’d be okay. Then he wanted me to sit on his lap, so I did and he was kissing me.

While we were kissing up comes the fat, old lady that had cornered him in the bathroom. She starts rubbing on his head and kissing him from the back. Then she goes on to tell him how pretty she thinks I am and starts trying to kiss ME. I was a little ooked but wanted to be polite so I went along with it, lmao. I pulled away quick though and he managed to deflect her for a bit and she went to kiss the girl that he had offered to have drive me. Whew! I decided it would be a good time to head back to the professor. I had already seen him looking at me a few times from across the room and I was on my 3rd plastic cup of wine, which meant I’d actually drank the entire bottle and was a little tipsy. Okay, a lot tipsy. I accidentally knocked over a chair on my way back and the professor saw me and rushed over because I was having trouble standing it up again. I was actually starting to feel naseous due to drinking a little too much a little too fast so he took me outside for a bit and had me sit down and drink lots of ice water, kissing me and talking to me until I was feeling better enough to go back in.

When we went back in I signed a paper so I could try out the Sybian machine. We went in the room and it was just me and the professor and the fat, old guy running the Sybian. It cost 10 dollars so the professor paid for it and lifted my dress and started slipping off my panties from the back so I could get on the machine. The old guy was standing right behind me and they were talking about my ass, ha. He started hinting that he would like my panties as a tip so the professor asked if that would be okay and I let him give them to the guy. He said that was the best tip of the night. Anyhow I got on the Sybian but the first attachment was hurting me so I had to get off and they put on a smaller one. Maybe because I’d had a little too much to drink or just because I am sensitive even the smaller one was kind of intense. The guy said he only had it up less than halfway and I came pretty quickly and was ready to get off after that first time. He said I could come back any time for the rest of the night for free but I didn’t go back.

We talked to more people and at one point made out for a few in a bathroom but no sex in there or anything. A couple of different guys tried to feel up my dress or grab my butt when we were talking to them. The professor asked if I wanted to leave and go back to his place and I agreed and we were getting ready to leave and I had to make another bathroom run. While I was in there I heard a guy outside the door talking to the professor and he was saying “wow, she is drunk you could get her to do almost anything you wanted to right now” and the professor laughed. To me it sounded like he was just being polite but the trailhead guy was nearby and heard them talking and got pretty upset. He was having some kind of discussion with the professor when I came out and he pulled me off to the side and said be careful, I don’t like what I heard those guys saying about you and you are drunk and shouldn’t go home with him. I will have this woman give you a ride. I said I will be okay and he insisted that only if I text him and call and let him know I am home safely. I said okay and the professor came and took me by the arm out the door.

As we were heading out to his car we stopped to talk to some couples that said they were going to one of their houses and the professor asked if we could come along. He told them it was my first party and he thought I might like to see what it was all about and they readily agreed. I texted my babysitter to say we would be out longer and we went to their house. There were two other couples and we sat in the living room and talked for a bit. One couple was a pretty 40 year old nurse and her 35 yr old husband. She is a redhead that dies her hair more of a strawberry blonde and I later saw she had a clit piercing and fake boobs. Her husband (or maybe he was just a live in boyfriend, but something like that) was a more reserved guy with glasses but decently attractive. He looked like your typical IT dude. The other couple was an outgoing, muscular guy with tatoos that I think said he was 37-38 and his 25 yr old, petite, blonde wife. She was more shy seeming and he later said she had never had sex with anyone besides him until they started swinging 8 months ago and until recently they were just doing “soft” swaps with other women and no actual sex. She did end up having sex with the other husband there, but not the professor.

Anyway, we talked for a few and then they were like lets get naked so we all went back to the couple’s bedroom/playroom. The other women got undressed first and started making out and the professor starts sliding my clothes off from behind and takes me over to them and so the three of us females were making out and then the guys started joining in. At first I was making out with both women and went down on the blonde girl and the nurse’s husband started going down on me. I can’t tell you what everyone else was doing at that point because I don’t know but when I looked up the professor was doing the blonde nurse lady from the back and the other lady’s husband was rubbing on my boobs while the nurse was giving him a blowjob and I started giving one to the nurse’s husband.

I really can’t remember everything but at some point the professor called me over to him and the nurse and asked me to taste her so I did and she and I were like in a 69 and he started doing me from behind. Later on I was bent over the bed with the tatooed guy and I could see in the mirror across the room that his wife was kissing him. There was lots more of pretty much everyone doing everyone, lol. Tatooed guy tried to slip it in my ass once but I pulled away and didn’t do him after that. I’m just not really into anal, especially with a stranger but there was still touching and stuff. He kept telling the professor what I nice ass I have and he would agree.

At one point the nurse pulled out her strap on and wanted to do me with it so everyone stopped to watch. Then she wanted me to ride her on it so I did and then the other woman wanted a ride. It ended up with all the couples on the bed and the professor fucking me missionary style and he kept making me cum over and over, long after everyone else was finished. The tatoo guy just came and sat by our heads and started jacking off and kept saying “God that’s so hot” over and over again, lmao. The nurse lady was amazed that Mr. Professor was still hard after all that time (he still hadn’t cum). He kept telling me later that he needs to make it up to me with some better one on one sex later. It was pretty good though!! Haha….

Afterwards we all talked for a little bit and the nurse gave people some pickles she’d been canning all day but the professor and I had to get going. The nurse’s husband said he felt a little used with us just being like “nice fuck everyone” and then leaving, lmao, but I think he was joking. We went back home and the prof paid for the couple extra hours of babysitting I needed. He’s been texting me today to see how I liked it and how I am doing. Meanwhile I had sex with my fuck buddy/military dude which was hot. Anyhow, I think that’s pretty much the gist of it all. Enjoy.