As seems to be my tendency when I am suffering from heartache, I am numbing myself with sex. I can’t cry. I can’t seem to feel and every time I think of the Cohort, my stomach just ties into knots and my heart sinks. I’d do just about anything to avoid thinking about him, to get away from the memories that seem to be jogged at every turn.
So the other night, I slept with the Boring guy again. He had called me, surprisingly, despite getting rather coldly dumped when I found out I was pregnant the second time (see, men DO always come back!!). Nothing has changed. He was, as usual, boring.
He has a routine and he sticks to it religiously. This means, every Friday night he eats wings for dinner. He plays the same playlist each time we have sex. He insists I drink the same drink at his place, which is apple flavored Crown Royal and Diet Coke.
He lives, literally, right behind an entertainment complex. His apartment is a part of it, yet he never wants to do anything there other than go to the same boring old bar. It’s not a financial thing either, he’s the same guy that bought me $200 boots and nice perfume for Christmas. He makes good money, he just doesn’t like to do anything new.
The times he has taken me out to eat, we have gone to the same exact restaurant all but once. He says he is a “creature of habit”. The sex is okay, but it’s just….the same. He wears a condom and can’t cum with one on, so it seems pointless. It’s hard for me to feel satisfied with sex when I haven’t been able to get a guy to orgasm.
The worst part is the questions he asks me though. He seems to think I should be obsessing over his body (he works out regularly and runs in races- he likes to show me his medals). He will be like “does my frame feel different to you baby?” Uh, what? I could honestly care less about his “frame”.
This is the guy who sends texts that say things like “I’m working out to get in shape for you baby”. It’s such a turnoff to think of a man preening for me. Yuck! Oh and he sometimes wears G-string underwear. Sooo full of himself. :p
He will ask “are you still feeling it from last night baby?” The next fucking day! Um, no, I don’t feel anything the next day. Am I supposed to?? How do you answer questions like that without either lying or seeming rude? Really, you can’t. So I play along, but come on.
Anyhow, it kind of made me laugh when he asked me that this time, because I had actually left his house, still horny, and went and fucked the Married Man. The Married Man, has been begging me for months to fuck him again. I kept putting him off.
Well, except for one time. One time, a couple of months ago, he had offered to pay me to come help him with folding his laundry. He said his wife was overwhelmed and was going to lose her mind if he didn’t help her get caught up on the laundry.
It felt pretty shady, but he put up a fake Craigslist ad, using MY email, as if it were from me, and then pretended to respond to it. I was supposedly a person who was offering in home services, like folding laundry. I was thinking that this really wasn’t that great of a cover up, if his wife DID happen to walk in the door. She had caught him sexting me once a long time ago and there is a good chance she would remember what I looked like.
In any case, I went to his house and I really did help him fold a lot of laundry. There were baby clothes amongst the piles and I was like, wait a minute- did you have a baby? He said yes, he had a 3 month old. I admit that made me feel a little bit guilty.
It also felt weird to be folding his wife’s laundry and seeing her (and his!) ratty underwear. Please, remind me, if I ever get married again, to NEVER let my underthings go to pot! He says they aren’t having sex. With a new baby, that is somewhat understandable but I’m sure sexier undergarments would help a little too. I felt sorry for her. Oh, and she wears the same size bra I do…
Anyway, its not like its just me. He had a “girlfriend” for quite some time on the side but he said she was getting too attached and he didn’t want things to interfere with his relationship with his wife. He also told me a recent story about a threesome he was having with two women where one of them asked to call over a 3rd. He said SURE and the person that showed up was *surprise* a tranny!! He said he could never have sex with that woman again after watching her have sex with the tranny. He and the other woman were in shock. I can’t say I blame him, that isn’t the kind of SURPRISE most people are banking on, regardless of how open minded you are.
Point being, it’s not just me he’s fucking on the side. So, I don’t feel THAT bad. I’m definitely not emotionally attached or trying to take him away from his wife. In fact, that is the LAST thing I would want. He was actually freaking me out with some of the stuff he was saying whilst we were fucking the other night, but I’ll get back to that in a minute.
Back to the laundry. I was folding and he came downstairs and fucked me every which way on the couch before I finished. Then, some kind of contractor his wife had called came to the door and I went back to pretending to be the laundress while they talked about the state of the foundation of the house, at the kitchen table. He paid me for the laundry service and I left. Crazy.
He still texts me almost every day wanting sex. Most days I turn him down but he is persistent. Every once in awhile, I’m like what the hell, especially when things are going bad with the Cohort.
So the other night, I left the Boring guy and agreed to meet with him. It was late and he told me to meet him 10 minutes away, in the parking lot of a small restaurant. There was a man still there cleaning up, and he started to walk up to me in my car, right before the married man pulled up. Whew!
He told me to get in the back and take off my clothes. So I’m naked, other than a thong, and he was driving. He reached behind the seat to play with my nipples. At a stoplight he started undoing his pants and had me lean over the middle to give him a blowjob. His hand was feeling on my ass, which was in the air.
He was driving around trying to find a place to stop and finally settled on a dead end road in front of a house with the lights off. He climbed in the back and immediately started to go down on me. I was hoping he couldn’t taste the condom that the Boring guy had been wearing.
We were in all kinds of positions that I didn’t even know you could do in the back of a car. As he was fucking me, he started saying things like “tell me you will have my baby”. Yikes! I was like “no”. He’d say, “say it! say you will have my baby, come on”. I was totally freaked out and saying “no, no, no, no” and he kept pushing for a yes. Then he said “I’m just talking shit”. I was relieved for a minute but then he started saying he was going to leave his wife for me. He was saying that and that he wanted me to have his baby (again). I tried to tell myself, okay, this is just a fantasy thing, he said that, lol, but still…
The sex though, was good. 😉 Afterwards he asked if it had been a long time for me and I said “not that long”. LMAO. Yeah, like an hour before I came over. 😉 He was complaining that his wife never wants to have sex anymore and I said yeah that sounds like married life.
Now he wants me to commit to seeing him more often, but I’m not giving any promises. I said if and when we both have the time.
Did I mention Mr. Poly has tried to resurface a couple of times? Oh, and the Pilot. I fucked the Pilot on his lunch break from his new job (he does something with mutual funds). He was in a suit and tie and he took me out to lunch right across from where he works. Then, we fucked in the parking lot in the back of my van. There was another couple, fucking, a few cars over. He had to wipe up cum with the undershirt he had on then threw it away.
I’ve since been informed that you can get sex offender charges for fucking in public like that. Kind of scary. I should probably be much more careful. I have a history of getting careless when my heart is broken too. I just don’t want to think of the Cohort. 😦