Tag Archive | sex addiction

The Power of a Penis

A man who is good in bed has so much power it’s scary. Alexyss Tylor is not kidding when she says “dick will make you wanna slap somebody”, LMAO! No, I’ve never slapped a guy during sex but yeah, never underestimate the power of good dick. It can and does make women act crazy sometimes.

Now men are frequently saying how much power pussy has on them so I guess it can work both ways, but I really think a man who knows what he is doing in bed is at much more of an advantage point than a woman could ever hope to be. For one, men are (usually) the dominant force in the bedroom and the woman becomes completely vulnerable and is at the mercy of whatever he wants to do to her. At least that is the power dynamic I am speaking of. I realize there are dominant women out there but I am definitely not one of them and am very naturally submissive in bed and love a dominant man, so that is the position I understand these things from. I’m not even talking from a BDSM perspective because I don’t have much experience with that, but I’d imagine the feelings in that case would be AMPLIFIED.

I’ve been thinking about these things after sex last night with the Professor. He is SO FREAKING GOOD in bed that it scares me. Just seeing the complete change in myself, my feelings and emotions and demeanor after sleeping with him makes me afraid because I know I am giving up control.

It’s not that he is a bad person to give that to. I think actually, that he is a really good man. Every time I’ve worried that he has been dishonest I’ve been proved to be WRONG. He’s been honest to a fault and I know it’s me and my trust issues that are more of a problem than anything with him. Of course he’s human and has his own issues but as far as being trustworthy, I think he is. I’m just not very experienced in the realm of trusting anyone for anything, really. It’s something I really have to work at learning to do but at the same time I’m wondering if I should do that or if it’s even wise to let down your guard that way because the truth usually is that people end up getting hurt when they do.

Also, there is the issue of him being emotionally involved with another woman. I don’t know to what extent but I know she is in love with HIM and he claims not to compare or pick favorites. That, to me, is a reason to try and hold back because I’m afraid of being all in love with someone that I know is seeing someone else and all the feelings that brings and what I have to deal with emotionally when he is with her. I don’t have the security of him just being into ME so I don’t really want to hand over my whole heart.

Let’s be real. I’m at the point where almost any sexual interaction of him with another female is going to stress me out. I can logically handle it but not so much emotionally. I don’t think it would be quite so much a problem in a swinging situation where we are all in the same room but separately or where I know or think there is an emotional connection, yeah, that is just plain hard.

I’m sure a lot of people are wondering why the Hell I would continue to agree to an open relationship then. The truth is though that I feel better KNOWING that it is open and knowing he will let me know, than WONDERING if he is out doing things behind my back, which is so often the case in a regular, monogamous relationship. I feel better when I can get honesty and reassurance afterwards than when I have to deal with suspicion and denial.

I LIKE HIM enough to have a monogamous relationship. If I were having sex with him a little more often I think I could go for a long, long time without seeing anyone else, if he were too. Still, I have enough foresight to know that those feelings wouldn’t last forever and that eventually one or both of us would get bored and want to feel excitement with another person. I also enjoy the thrill of trying new things and people so swinging occasionally is fun. It’s more fun though if I know I’m his absolute favorite person and that is what I want to be because at this point, he is mine. Right now there is still uncertainty in the other direction.

So anyway, back to last night. We have been emailing for a while with this Latino couple that we may hook up with sometime. Actually, they had been in contact with HIM for a long time but he said she never showed any real interest in him and they never met up. According to him, it’s only when he brought ME into the equation that they had more motivation to want to get together.

She is one of these “hotwives” that sleeps with lots of well –endowed, black men. I’ve seen pictures of her doing so. The professor fits the bill in that he is, in fact, a well- endowed, black, man, lol but I think there are things about him that maybe don’t fit the fantasy for some women in that regard. He’s more like the male version of a nerdy librarian (that is freaking sexy with his clothes off) than the stereotype of this big, buff, powerful black man that is going to come and do whatever to her. He IS very dominant in the bedroom but he’s also very much a “nice guy”. He’s not really intimidating and I think that is part of the fantasy for some people. I don’t know because I don’t totally “get” that fetish and think it objectifies black men too much and it creeps me out a bit in that regard (even though I am white and have slept with plenty of black guys, I just don’t look at it the same way I guess. Hell, I could write a whole nother blog post about how I feel about that, maybe someday).

The male half of the Latino couple says his wife has gotten hers but he hasn’t gotten his. So after the Professor told them about me they wanted to meet with me ALONE for a FMF threesome. I said I didn’t feel comfortable with that just yet. I know the Professor wouldn’t have appreciated it, since he’s the one that mentioned bringing me along for the fun and he thanked me for not wanting to exclude him. I don’t know if they have swapped with other COUPLES but the Professor thinks they have.

Anyhow, we talked about meeting up for drinks last night but I was the only one who would have to leave early, due to needing to pick up my kids. They couldn’t meet until after 8:00 and I had to leave by 8:30 so it wasn’t gonna work out. The Professor said that he still wanted to see me alone and that is what he had just assumed we would do and that sounded great. Then the Latino husband sends me this email saying his WIFE wants to know if I am going to meet up with the Professor alone. I said yes and he sends back a sad face.

I wondered what that was about and why she wanted to know. Was she going to try and meet up with him anyway if I wasn’t? Then it started to just rub me the wrong way and I was feeling confused. The husband had told me before that she still wanted to meet up with him separately, but that was before they tried to meet with ME alone and I said no.

So THEN the Professor texts me and “jokes” that maybe they can just come WATCH us have sex instead. I was like WTF? How are they gonna have time to watch if they don’t have time to get together for drinks? It started to really upset me and I figured he must be plotting to have them come over right before I leave (since they couldn’t come till after 8 and I had to leave at 8:30 and he had been told that) so that he could sleep with her after I left. Yeah, it was some insecurity and paranoia on my part.

Long story short, I got upset and gave him some drama about it. At first he was like I don’t even know what you are talking about and then he just started ignoring me and wouldn’t respond so I got MORE upset. Looking back I can see I was being irrational but at the time not so much because I was all in my feelings. He only responded to me to tell me he was too “pissed off” to meet up with me and that was not what I wanted to hear and just made it worse because I thought he might be saying that just so he could meet up with her and have an excuse to blow me off.

So, it wasn’t an extreme amount of drama really, considering, but I did send a handful of angry, emotional, insecure sounding, texts. He later said he ignored me because he knew arguing with me or explaining anything at that point was not going to help, and of course he is probably right. He says he was pissed at my lack of trust for him because he thinks he has shown me that he is good and a trustworthy person and again he is right. Trusting a man is a real challenge for me, even when I logically know it’s probably okay. He said he wasn’t going to put up with that and I said then maybe I am not a good person for you to be involved with, but he said that’s not what he meant.

We ended up having that conversation on the phone, both of us calmed down and I came over to his house. He gave me some of his Chinese food he had gone out to get and I was able to stay out later than expected so we sat and talked for a while, then had some really hot sex, which is what prompted me to write this blog.

THE SEX. OH MY GOD. He is wayyyyy too good in bed!! The emotional affect it has on me is incredible too. He’s very loving in the bedroom and very affectionate but also very dominant and in control of everything and knows exactly how to tease and push all my buttons and make me feel like I have no choice but to give him complete control. It turns me on, MASSIVELY, but when I’m back in my head I’m scared by the power of it all.

The fear comes from the knowledge that someone can have that huge of an effect on me and controlling my emotional state and making me vulnerable in that way. In bed I have NO CHOICE but to trust him because he is bigger and stronger and putting me in vulnerable positions and pinning me down and making me cum for him over and over and over again. I’m so far deep into a sex trance it’s like I’m hypnotized. At that point I would do ANYTHING he wanted.

I kept looking up at his face and the way he was smiling, the look in his eyes, you can tell he really gets off on knowing what he is doing to me. He does all sorts of things with his cock and like Alexyss mentions in one of her videos, he puts it ALL THE WAY in and holds it there for a bit until he can see I am uncomfortable and he just really knows what the hell he is doing. Yeah, it’s scary, LMAO. 😉

After sex he is perfect too. He’s very, very, affectionate and holds me and cuddles and kisses and makes me feel very happy and satisfied…and loved, whether he feels that or not. I am at that point, completely docile and affectionate and submissive to him. I just love laying there and stroking his chest and face and kissing him and listening to him talk with my head on his shoulder, all safe and warm and fuzzy. I’m still, halfway through the next day, on a high from that experience, and all lovey- dovey feeling. I love it!!! But at the same time…..gotta watch out for that PENIS POWER! LMAO 😉

It’s a small world after all

So awhile back Mr. Best Sex on the Whole Entire Planet Married Guy added me on Facebook. I was a bit surprised and hoped that didn’t clue his wife in because she caught him texting me at least once before. In any case, apparently it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was back to contacting me 3 weeks later. I highly suspect he is a serial cheater and I’m pretty sure his wife would never leave him. I sure wouldn’t if I were her. The sex is too damn good! LOL Plus he appears to be a great dad and has lots of money. Not worth leaving just because he’s a cheater, at least in my opinion, but if I were her I’d just get mine sometimes too.

He lives in the large metropolitan area of a big city that is 30 minutes away from my hometown. So I did a quick check to make sure we didn’t have any mutual friends. We don’t so I figured that was cool and went on to look at a few pics of his wife, who looks beautiful and happy. I briefly hoped my non emotional relationship with him is not hurting her in any way, but I’m thinking it’s pretty common behavior for him and at least we aren’t emotionally involved. Then of course I noticed their ADORABLE children. I texted to tell him how freaking cute his kids are and hadn’t checked back on his page since. He doesn’t post often and occasionally I’ll see a pic of him with his siblings or family.

So today, he texts me to ask if I know a particular guy, who is on my friends list. Why yes, we went to high school together. I wouldn’t say I know him SUPER well, and I know I haven’t slept with him but we ran with the same crowd and there is always the possibility I may have given him a blow job or something and not written it down. What can I say, my memory about that kind of stuff sucks, lol. I asked why he wanted to know and he didn’t text back. Typical, he’s a very flaky guy and I attribute it to being married.

Okay, so just a little while ago I sat down and decided to look the guy up on my Facebook to see why he wanted to know if I knew him. He’s not friends with him. Okay, so I go to HIS friends list and click on the box that says they are friends of his that I might know. Low and behold, there is a girl who is friends with my baby sister and a few other people I know, and 3 more people that are friends with my stepsister and a few more that are friends with other friends of mine. Ha!

I text to tell Mr. Sex God about it and he texts back that the guy he mentioned earlier is his oldest child’s mother’s boyfriend. (Guess he hasn’t been married all that long, or else he had his child out of wedlock, I’d just assumed this child was with his current wife). Ahhhhh….. What cracks me up is that the guy in question actually has a very similar look to Mr. Sex God. Like, they could totally be brothers. I said I can see why she chose him after you, you all have that look and he didn’t comment, lmao. Hope I didn’t upset him ;).

What’s funny is that I happened to meet Mr. Sex God, HERE, while he was on a business trip. He lives almost 3 hours away. I met him on Craigslist and went straight to his hotel and we were having sex within 5 minutes of me showing up. It’s one of my more daring recent sexual escapades and was kind of “unlike” my usual behavior. Actually it’s the first time I’d fucked anyone off Craigslist (but not the last). He claims it was his first time too, though who knows, he’d also claimed he was single and later admitted to being married.

It cracks me up that he knows who this guy is. At first I was actually a bit afraid they might know each other some other way and he might talk to him about me. I was a wild child back in high school and who knows what kind of information he could have to offer about me or what tales he could tell. The guy knows plenty of guys I’ve had sex with, though nowadays he is a worship leader at a big church, so obviously either hiding a bit of HIS past or possibly the present as well (like Mr. Married Dude does, he is a churchgoer also). Either way, I’m not too worried. I know neither is going to put me on blast due to having their own secrets to keep.

It’s just too funny! I went to see who the girlfriend/baby mama is too and she is gorgeous and a model! Sometimes I’m really surprised that Mr. Married Guy seems to like me so much. I’m decent looking but nothing like that. Still when we first met off Craigslist, both before and after we had sex, he kept saying how gorgeous he thought I was. It didn’t seem like he was just saying that either, he seemed genuinely surprised and said I looked even better than my pics and that the sex was as amazing for him as it is for me.

Not that he is known for being 100% truthful or anything, lmao. The second time we had sex he made a crazy proposal to me that I should come live in an extra house that he has with my children and he would pay me 3000 dollars a month if I would have his baby. While that actually sounds fabulous I was pretty sure he was full of shit. He didn’t mention it again until recently and this time it was only the house part, haha. I kinda figure that was some sort of tale to get me lost in the fantasy style sex.

In any case, he makes me FEEL really good so I don’t really care, I just take whatever he says with a big grain of salt and we seem to get along fine. He told me that first night that he is a bit of a “sex addict” and I had to agree that I am too. He says even with all the women he’s been with that I stand out because most women wouldn’t do what I did and just walk up to his hotel and fuck him, lmao. Actually, here is the ad I originally responded to 😉 I am a naughty girl. 🙂

In town on business Tues. and Wed. and looking for some fun. Me, 6’1″, 205, athletic build. Black, well hung. Very sexual and gets my ultimate pleasure by getting a woman to reach her max multi-time. Has pics to share. (The title said something about fulfilling all my fantasies).

Well, he wasn’t lying and it definitely wasn’t a mistake!! I’ve never had that good of sex in my LIFE, ever. We’ve only managed to actually get together a couple of times so far due to logistics and flakiness on his part and difficulty travelling on mine, but I know someday it will happen again. He likes to randomly text and let me know he is thinking of me and he asks about the swinger parties and the Professor and sends an occasional naughty pic and vice versa.

Just so you all can get an idea of HOW GOOD he is, here is an excerpt of something I wrote after that first night together. This was less than a year ago and actually really the first time I’ve ever been able to have orgasms WITH a guy. I have had a lot of pretty good sex with very experienced guys and a lot of solo orgasms, but until him I’d never experienced this or multiple orgasms or vaginal ones. HE was/is AMAZING in the sack!! (So is the Professor, who is nearly as good, but objectively this dude TAKES THE CAKE- cookie? 😉 ha)

I am still trying to figure out what happened myself! Lol I think it was a combination of all of that, really. I mean he was really sensual and paying attention to all of me but in a very dominant and non-supplicative way. He was obviously really enjoying every minute of it too and that made me feel really good. He was dominant, but not aggressive or mean, which is typical of what I like in other guys too.

Anyway, it definitely helped that he was so amazing with his tongue and started out that way. I had never actually cum from oral before though I love it and many times have gotten close, but he made me cum like 3 or 4 times that way before actually having sex. He had my hips and legs pinned down where I couldn’t move away from him at all and clearly loved doing it. He was relaxed and didn’t appear to be rushing through it just to get to the “fun stuff” for himself, lol and no trying to get me in a 69 which id already told him I don’t really like because it is distracting and I like to focus. He did a lot of different stuff with his tongue and the pressure was just perfect, but didn’t use his fingers at all.

The sex-I don’t think I could even remember all the positions we were in, most were things I’ve done before but he had a way of hitting all kinds of different angles with his cock and would just keep going at one angle until I came then pause and start in on another angle! I didn’t even know that many angles existed lol, and I have been with guys who like to hit different spots but not to that extent. He even had me in some positions I’m not as crazy about normally and managed to make me cum like that. He did seem to like driving in too deep occasionally to where it hurt me but he would stop when I asked him to.

He had a lot of control and was holding me in ways where I couldn’t move most of the time. He wasn’t too rough, though he did bite my neck some and do a little hair pulling and spanking (but it seems everyone does that). Much of the time he was touching other parts of my body, running his hands all over my skin, kissing me, sucking on my toes or breasts, playing with my hair,etc. Very romantic-like. He didn’t cum for a very long time and just kept going and going. I’d cum and he’d ask if he’s got everything yet and id say yes! Lol and he’d just laugh and start something new.

The dominance was definitely a factor, though I’ve been with some pretty dominant guys before. Even when he had me on top of him he was holding me up against him (with my feet on the bed instead of my knees) so he could be the one doing all the moving. I am actually still sore from some of those positions (like my stomach muscles and thighs, not what you are thinking, ha) so got a good workout, lol.

oh, and he did that thing with his cock where he would push up against me and kind of grind around inside in a circular motion where his pubic bone or something was stimulating my clit at the same time. It felt amazing lol and every time he’d start to pull away there would be a bit of suction. No idea how he was doing that but omg!!

The way he carried himself was hot too, and very dominant and the way he would laugh and start going faster and making me cum more when I was begging him to stop lol

As for the tempo it was great, had some old school rnb in the background and just moonlight. He said beforehand he thought I’d be more comfortable with him the first time without all the lights.It was supposed to be a one night stand, but that didn’t happen because we both were liking it too much. The second time we had sex was even better, lasted over 4 hours and he made me cum so much I seriously thought I was gonna have a heart attack. He used my toy on me and went down on me while holding the vibrator part close to my clit. OH MY FUCKING GOD, all I did for about 20 minutes straight was cum, over and over and over again, lol.

At one point I swear I thought I was gonna have a heart attack he was giving me so many orgasms and I had to make him STOP. That NEVER happens, haha. No one EVER wears me out!! The funny thing is that not long before I met him I had been arguing forcefully on a forum I used to post on that it was “IMPOSSIBLE” for a woman to have 30 orgasms in one sitting and that if she was telling you that she was LYING and FAKING it. Well, I’m here to say that I was TOTALLY wrong!!! And sooo glad I was!! 😉 😉

We had also talked about the possibility of having a threesome with another female. With most guys I’m not that into the idea but with him I wouldn’t mind so much because I know I’d go home happy. He says he’s had a lot of threesomes with two women and knows exactly how to make it good for everyone. With how fantastic he is in bed I believe him, lol. We looked on Craigslist once and had some possibilities but not the time. One girl was pregnant and another woman was over 50 and wanted to bring all kinds of toys, including nipple clamps (yikes) a butt plug (um…never tried it) and strap-ons, ha. That was before I’d ever been with another female so it was like woah, slow down a bit, lol. I’m sure he still wants that though. We will see.

All this writing about it is making me want to sleep with him again, sooo bad, ha! We just barely missed each other recently when I was home having an early Thanksgiving meal with relatives. He kept trying to persuade me to sneak out to meet him and I said if he’d hurry up I could and my sister would even cover for me but he was 30 minutes away and as he was getting closer my family was packing up to leave and I had to drive my grandma home. So at 15 minutes away he had to turn around and drive back. Dammit! LOL We will manage one of these days again ;).