Tag Archive | positions

Ooops!

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What not to accidentally text to your ex- husband (Gah, I am such a freaking airhead sometimes, I swear!!). “You make me feel so good”. LMAO I texted right after and was like “oops, wrong person”.

Yeeaaahhh… Of COURSE it was the wrong person. I never, in a million years, would have texted those words to the ex- husband. He never bothered to even TRY to make me feel good in bed. His excuse, when we were divorcing and that fact came out in anger, was that I had supposedly told him, once upon a time, somewhere back when we were dating, that I didn’t “have” to have an orgasm to be happy in bed. So he extrapolated that to mean that I didn’t WANT an orgasm, ever.

For 13 years I supposedly had no desire for an orgasm. Say what?? Nevermind that I had TRIED and asked him questions like why he wasn’t interested in giving me oral sex and he said that was what lesbians do and straight women wouldn’t be interested. Thanks. Thanks for shaming me for wanting basic sexual pleasure. I told him I didn’t understand why women’s bodies would be created the way they are, where it feels good to have sexual stimulation on the outside if we weren’t supposed to have any and he said maybe that was part of “the curse”. You know, the curse on Eve after eating the fruit in the Garden of Eden? Yes, he actually said that.

To be fair he didn’t want me to go down on him either because he felt oral sex was “wrong” in the eyes of God since it’s not used to procreate. Once upon a time though, when we were dating and before he “rededicated” his life to Christ, I gave him a blow job that resulted in him cumming in my mouth and me swallowing it. I remember it clearly because it was the first time I had really willingly swallowed someone’s cum and I gagged a bit because it was thick like Tapioca pudding. (I’ve since read that can happen when a guy doesn’t cum often enough, don’t know if that was the case or what). Anyway, he got all upset about it afterwards, even though I wasn’t at all and said he “felt bad” for doing so. Poor guy really did have a lot of hang ups about sex.

He also felt that masturbation was bad. We got into arguments about this because I felt it was natural and fine to touch your own body. He said he didn’t and was especially opposed to women doing so and it was even worse if you used a toy. Still, he was the one with the “porn problem” where he snuck off to some porn booths to supposedly masturbate. Now that I know those booths sometimes contain glory holes and people have sex in there I’m not so sure. Who knows what he was doing? Sex with men? I honestly wouldn’t be that surprised, because he had virtually no interest whatsoever in ME.

So I survived my marriage without these releases. Okay, not without masturbation. I never bought a toy but I know how to make do. I’m crafty like that 😉 Ha. Thank God for shower massagers and well, I won’t mention my other improvisations, but hey, they worked. I never have gotten the hang of getting myself off without some sort of aid but that’s okay because I’m like MacGuyver if I have to be.

Like it or not my body DOES need orgasms!! People give all this lip service to men having “blue balls” and NEEDING to get off every now and then but I firmly believe women do too! Heck I know I do! I know how it feels to have all sorts of sexual energy that really NEEDS a release. Perhaps I masturbate a little too often (sometimes a couple times a day) especially now that I have both a fun toy AND a shower massager, but hey, it feels GOOD so if I can find a few minutes to do so, why not? Just wish sometimes that it didn’t take me so dang long to get off, lol, or I’d do it more often.

Anyhow, the text was MEANT to be sent to the Professor, who, as usual, was AWESOME in bed tonight!! 🙂 I just love the sex with him so much. Its ultra- intimate and just hot, hot, hot!! One of these days I’m gonna learn to be more quiet though, sheesh, his poor neighbors. Thankfully the windows in the apartment above him looked dark when I was leaving and I don’t think anyone was home.

One of the positions we did tonight is something I don’t recall ever doing before. He had me lying on my back with my knees up against my chest, only he wasn’t laying on me missionary style like a guy usually would be when you are like that. He was sideways, and like almost doing push-ups. Ha, I guess guys have to be pretty athletic for some of the stuff they do in bed sometimes, glad it’s not me that is doing all that work, but I loved it and he seemed to enjoy it too. He was some of the time going side to side, like guys sometimes do when they are in Missionary, but instead, because of his position, it was up and down. I hope that makes sense. Anyhow it felt incredible.

Mmmmm…. I totally want to go crawl into bed and masturbate thinking about it now. It was only a couple hours ago that I left his place but I just love playing with myself afterwards and getting all lost in the thoughts of how good it felt. It’s funny because guys, and the Professor, often seem to think it’s an INSULT for you to admit to masturbating after having great sex with them. “What? You weren’t satisfied?” he will ask. So I don’t mention it anymore, lol, because that’s not the case at ALL. Being totally satisfied sometimes just makes me want to relive it. Sure there are times I masturbated after unsatisfactory sex too (like with the ex) but in those cases it was just to get off at all.

Actually, I masturbated earlier today, twice. Once in the shower and right after that with my toy. I guess I’m just a total horn dog, lol. What can I say? I’m not ovulating either. In fact I had light spotting this morning that indicates my period is gonna start up early. Makes sense since I’ve been an emotional wreck the past couple of days and crying a lot. I feel a lot better now though, after seeing the Professor. Sex is a good cure all. 😉

Speaking of sex and cures, the Professor does NOT have prostate cancer (yay!!!) but he does have an inflamed prostate and they don’t know why. He still has some pain and they’ve got him on a special sort of antibiotic that he’s been taking for over a month now. It causes him to be tired and have some not so great side effects, like joint pain, so hopefully he will be over with it soon and the swelling will have been reduced. I guess they just don’t know what causes that but guys get it sometimes. I was reading up a bit about it though and besides things like warm baths they suggest cumming a lot as a remedy, lol. I routinely tease him about this and tell him that’s the prescription from Dr. Lovergirl. 😉 However, I’m glad that’s not what I accidentally texted to the ex!! OMG. Facepalm!! lol