Tag Archive | jerks

Thankful for my Mr. Firm!! :D

the perfect man

I hope you all had as great of a Thanksgiving as I did!  I love being able to see my family on the holidays plus was extra thankful this time to get to see Mr. Firm!  He lives 30 minutes away from where I was visiting and we were able to make it work on a whim.  He drove up shortly before he was set to leave out of state himself and got a cheap motel. 

MMMmmmm….he is SO GOOD in bed!!  He’s right up there with the Professor, maybe even better, though without the same emotional component. Skill wise he may be the closest I’ve ever had to the married man, and since he’s apparently gone, I’m VERY thankful Mr. Firm is still around!! 

I don’t mean to imply the sex isn’t emotional, because it is, I just know where the boundaries lie and it stops outside the bedroom.  He’s got a regular relationship and seems very skilled at maintaining that while still being awesome with me.  I love it.  I wish every guy could be like that.  It would make the whole open relationship thing go a lot more smoothly.

Mr. Firm has been really cool.  He’s extremely low drama and unlike other men who say they “don’t do drama” he seems to really mean it, lol.  I asked if he’s ever had trouble with that in the lifestyle and he said once with a married woman who was crossing inappropriate boundaries but that he “shut that shit down real quick”.  He says that one of the reasons he likes sleeping with married women in the swinging lifestyle is that if they get out of hand he can just tell their husband’s to come and get them.  Haha…

Anyhow, he’s been doing this for years and I am really appreciating his wisdom and advice regarding some of my recent incidents with men.  He’s very good at detecting bullshit and pointing out inconsistencies in people’s stories.  I’m sure his working at a law firm helps with that!!  LOL  Plus he doesn’t get jealous and I feel like I can trust him to be real with me, rather than just try to elbow out the other guys.

If he wasn’t already in a relationship I think I would totally fall for him.  Yet he is, and because of his attitude towards that and towards me and because he doesn’t lead me on I can respect that.  We have amazing sex and he says I fuck him just the way he needs.  I was like ” I wish it could be more often, but I’ll take what I can get ” and he said him too, but that it makes him appreciate me even more. 🙂

I’m not sure I would have been able to get rid of Mr. Motorcycle without his support.  I told him all the stuff that had happened and he sat there and pointed out each obvious lie that Mr. Motorcycle tried to confuse me with and each way he had tried to manipulate me, from promising gifts to telling me that he’d spent the whole weekend trying to tell me he was “falling in love” with me when he was called out on his repeated disappearances.  Then he claimed he was manscaping “for the first time” in the hotel.  Mr. Firm said it doesn’t take that long to manscape anyhow and I found pictures he had sent me before we even met where he was totally shaven.  Eyeroll…

Basically what Mr. Firm did was put words to all those nagging feelings and red flags I had been seeing.  He voiced that he seemed like he was trying to control me and that he’d come across men like that before and it never ends well.  I knew he was right of course but on my own have a tendency to be too nice and wait it out until someone does something really awful before cutting them off.  He predicted the way he would act afterwards correctly but kept encouraging me not to fall for any of it.  He was like you are really NICE and I love that about you but some people will take advantage of that and really try to get you to bend (which I have found to be very true). So far I’ve been holding strong and believe me Mr. Motorcycle is still trying.  He even sent me some weird picture for Thanksgiving, that looks like two dragons kissing in the shape of a heart in the sky.  WTF?

Then when this situation came up with the Referee he was totally awesome.  I told him all the facts of what happened and he helped me pick it apart.  Even better was that I got an apology letter during the time he and I were talking, from the couple that the Referee had ditched me for.  I sent it to him and he pointed out several obvious lies and differences from what the Referee had told me.  I could see a lot of them for myself but it helps to have someone else letting you know you aren’t just being a bitch!

Here is the letter, supposedly written by the female half of the couple and sent to me on the swinger site via email:

hey there sexy girl I wanted to apologize for Saturday night for me cussing at you that was inappropriate and that is not like me to do that . I was irritated with my boyfriend for getting very drunk and I was the one having to drive home and a neighborhood and an area that I am not familiar with . we did not even know that (the Referee) was going to be in town until that afternoon we were out having drinks and he met up with us we didn’t even see him until about 5 o’clock that day we were unaware of any plans that he had to meet up with you . so he was not with us Friday night or at all saturday day . so I hope you accept my apology and hopefully we can see each other again sometime . :

 

It ended with a “kiss”.  At first reading I was even a tad skeptical.  I mean, how is this woman who I never met other than her cussing me out going to start out calling me “sexy girl”?  Even more telling though was “her” comment that they did not know the Referee would be in town until 5 pm.   That’s kind of hard to claim when I have texts from him at 10:30 am saying they had invited us to stay the night at their place. 

Not to mention little things like who spends 3 hours at dinner at a restaurant?  And the Referee told me that evening all he had eaten all day was “6 pieces of shrimp”.  That’s a long ass time to be sitting there not eating food.  As Mr. Firm pointed out, it wasn’t hard to find their way around the neighborhood either.  Three adults in the car, three gps’s on their phones, and they managed to get “lost” for over an hour after the party?  Give me a break!!  I live out of town and had absolutely no trouble.  This isn’t in a confusing neighborhood, it’s right off a main road.

Also, they bring up Friday night and early Saturday.  I never asked or implied that he was with them then.  The only reason I think they might think I would care is because he told me that morning he had told them I was his “girlfriend”.  No, I was simply pissed at being stood up outside the hotel.  I was lucky I even got into the room.

Also, the Referee claimed that he and the “husband” (who I guess was a boyfriend) were together at the restaurant and that the wife didn’t show up until later.  He said that she showed up at the last minute.  The Referee also said he had ridden with this couple in their car because he didn’t want to drive his vehicle if he had been drinking.  Yet I am supposed to believe he got in a car with people who had been drinking for 3 hours prior to going to the party? 

There were just so many other little details but I don’t have time to type it all out.  The library closes in 8 minutes and my laptop is sent away to be fixed again.  In any case, I am glad to be rid of the Referee.  He is so full of shit it’s not even funny.  He had the nerve to text me a Happy Thanksgiving too and I simply ignored it.

Mr. Firm and I think most likely what happened was that the Referee was trying to help out the boyfriend of this couple, or at least pretending to, by making him think he had a chance at sleeping with ME.  So that he could get to fuck both me and the female half of this couple in one night.

The sad part is, if he’d not been such an ass he probably quite easily could have.  He could have shown up at the hotel on time, taken me to the party as planned, and after a little drinking and socializing it is very likely the female half of the couple and I would BOTH have been likely to sleep with him there, or he could have even just slept with HER while I was off having fun and gone back to the hotel with me later as planned.  Seems like he went way out of his way to make things more complicated than they should have been. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another one bites the dust…

The men in my life are falling like dominoes.  If it weren’t for Mr. Firm, who has been supremely awesome, and my fuck buddy, I’d be high and dry.  In the past week I’ve decided to drop Mr. Motorcycle, the Married Man has taken me off his Facebook (so I’m guessing he is serious about this not wanting to fool around stuff) and as of now I am completely done with the Referee.

Getting rid of Mr. Motorcycle has proven to be a challenge.  He’s not wanting to go without a fight.  After the events of the last party, and after discussing it with a few different people, I decided it was for the best to just end things now, before things get worse.  There are just too many red flags with him and I have some serious suspicions about what went on behind my back at that hotel party with him.

Three different men, who had all been to that party before, listened to my retelling of the events with him and said the same exact thing, that they KNOW he was fucking people in the hotel rooms while I was sitting alone at the party.  Mr. Firm, the Pilot, and the Referee all said that is what happens there during the party and that even signing up all the black guys get invited to these BBC gang bangs that are going on.  They said if he was even gone 20 minutes he HAD to have been fucking someone.

Well, combined with the totally lame excuses he gave me for disappearing I would have to say they are right.  First off, he claimed he was in the hotel room manscaping “for the first time” and it made such a mess that he spent a lot of time cleaning up.  Not only does that not explain his multiple disappearances, but it is a flat out lie.  I have proof in the form of pictures he sent me before we even met of him naked, and completely shaved.  Not to mention there weren’t any dirty towels lying around or anything like that in the hotel room.  What the fuck ever. Who gets dressed up for a party then turns around and decides to manscape in the hotel anyhow?

Since I have told him I am done he has tried EVERYTHING to manipulate me into staying with him.  He said he spent the entire weekend trying to decide to tell me he is falling in love with me.  Then he said he already bought the kids and I Christmas presents and that they were all wrapped and he couldn’t take them back and wanted to bring them over to my house.  I told him not to waste his time.  I’ve had to be pretty harsh.  It’s hard, but I’ve managed to stay firm.  With his background and that “adult abuse without stalking” charge, he freaks me out anyway.  I don’t want to get too involved with a control freak.

I thought things were still awesome with the Referee, but found out differently this weekend.  He had made plans to come visit me but changed them because one of his daughters had won in a college basketball tournament and he wanted to stay for her game.  He said he would pay my gas to come up there and we could go to a party that evening.  Cool.  It was a house party and I was excited to check one of those out.

Before I came up he brought up a couple that he knows that was going to be there.  The woman half is someone he said he was in an “exclusive” relationship for some time with but that she was too jealous and he had to end it.  He said the husband had offered for us to stay at their house but I didn’t think that was a very good idea, considering her jealousy and all and me not knowing these people.  He claimed not to have taken the offer seriously anyway and that he was planning on paying for another night at the hotel. 

The party started at 7 o’clock and the hosts sent out an email asking people to try and arrive around then. I would have to do what I could to get there by then because it would take me about 2 1/2 hrs to get there.  The Referee said all was cool when I texted him I was leaving at 4:45.

So I arrive at the hotel, a Fairfield Marriot.  I call the Referee, no answer.  I text and he doesn’t text back.  He had sent me a copy of the confirmation number before I came up, because it had the address of the hotel.  So I went in and got the room number.  Knocked on the door and there was no answer.  I finally went downstairs and got the people at the front desk to give me a key.  When I got into the room there was no one inside.  There were no suitcases or anything lying around.  The only sign anyone had been there were a couple of wrappers in the trash can.  Supposedly he had stayed there the night before.

I’m puzzled because I had tried calling and texting several more times to no avail.  I decide to just start getting ready for the party, change my clothes and touch up.  By now it is after 8:00 and still no sign of the Referee.  I wonder if I am getting stood up?  So I text the host of the party and ask if by chance he had arrived there, thinking maybe he’d gone to check out the party and was planning to come back.  Nope.  They haven’t seen him but tell me to come on by on my own!

Finally my phone rings and it is the Referee.  He says he went to dinner with that couple “right around the corner” that he had talked about and that he had “left his phone charging in the car” because it was dead.  Give me a fucking break!  Who leaves their car running for an hour and a half with a phone charging in it when they know someone is supposed to be arriving in town?? Supposedly he was on his way back. I was pissed and hung up on him.  I finished getting ready and debated on what to do. 

It was a pretty long time and he still hadn’t shown up, so I decided to gather my bags up and leave.  Just as I am heading out the door he is coming in.  He was like “wait! where are you going?” and trying to talk to me but I just brushed past.  He left his suitcase in the hall and chased after me down to my vehicle, begging me to just wait and go to the party with him.  I told him I am going to the party by myself and he said he wasn’t going to go if I wouldn’t talk to him.  I said I hoped he had fun fucking that woman (which of course he denied) and got in my van. 

After I drove off he called me and said if I wasn’t going to talk to him fine, he would leave and I could keep the hotel room.  I said great, you can stay with your friends.  He said he wasn’t going to do that and kept trying to talk to me. He was like “really?  You are that pissed off about me going to dinner with someone?” and I pointed out that he’d shown up an hour and a half late and just left me hanging, no matter what the hell he was doing.  He knew I was coming to the hotel and supposed to be there a little after 7. 

I got to the party a little after 9. I got in free since I was alone and female. There weren’t a ton of people there yet but the host guy liked me and was showing me around.  He even announced my arrival at the party to groups of people like I was some sort of celebrity, lol.  A single woman there all by myself I might as well have been.  A few different men came up to talk to me at various times.

When I got a minute to head back over to check my phone (which was in my coat by the door) there were texts from the Referee.  He was like “seriously?”.  A little while later he showed up at the party, WITH that couple.  I was chatting with a good-looking, biracial, 24 year old, body builder when he walked in and he didn’t say anything to me but walked into the kitchen with his little friends.

Of course, I’d had to explain to several people why I was there all by myself, and from so far away.  Repeatedly, people said what a dick he is for doing that to you!  He’s losing out!!  He motioned at me once from the kitchen and I discretely flipped him off.

I walked past him at one point and the male half of the couple tried to stop me.  I said (loud enough for the people in the vicinity to hear) to the guy who was with me “this is that couple he stood me up for” and the woman started getting pissy.  I ignored her and walked downstairs.

A while later the body building guy invited me back into a private room.  We went in with the intent to play.  However, he couldn’t get it up, so it was kind of a fail.  I sucked on his floppy little dick to no avail.  He said it was his first party and he was kind of nervous.  He didn’t know why it wasn’t cooperating.  I said that was okay and we eventually headed back out to join the party.

Later on, I ended up in that room again.  This time I was spread eagle on the bed while a woman was using a Hitachi magic wand on me and licking my pussy.  Another woman and man were sucking on my nipples and another guy fingered me.  I also went down on a redheaded girl that was next to me while the wand was being used on her. I had kissed and made out with a couple of different women at the party, one who I had met and made out with when I was with Mr. Motorcycle before. 

The door was supposed to stay closed and “private” when there were people in there but someone let in the Referee.  He came over and tried to play with me too and I put my hand over my pussy to deny him access.  He kept pushing and pulled me away from the people and rather than cause a big scene I finally let him.  He’s the only guy I actually fucked there.

Afterwards, I was ignoring him again.  He and that couple walked past me and I was standing there with the body builder.  I said, that’s the one that ditched me and those are the people and she turned around and started screaming.  She started screaming at me that she hadn’t even fucked him and yelling at the top of her lungs.  I didn’t respond and they walked out the door, together. 

The body builder guy was like “damn, you didn’t even say two words to her and she started flipping out”.  I pointed out that the Referee hadn’t even bothered to stand up for me and just LEFT with this woman.  Nice.  The other people at the party were like damn, what is her problem?  Wow.  At some point earlier another woman had come up to me and said that I was right, that the Referee was really an asshole.  She didn’t say why, but apparently he had pissed her off somehow.

I stayed and talked for a little while but decided to go back to the hotel alone.  The body builder offered to come with me and I said probably not tonight.  I was hoping the Referee would have gone home with those people and I wouldn’t have to see him.  I’d only had two mixed drinks but I didn’t feel like driving all the way home late at night. 

I got back to the room and no one was there so I bolted the door and got ready for bed.  Unfortunately, about half an hour later the Referee showed up.  Long story short he tried every trick in the book, even telling me he “loves” me to get me to forgive him.  Then he started demanding that I owed him sex since he payed for the room for us to be in together.  He only pays like $35 for a room because he gets a special discount but it was a very nice suite.  Still, I told him that I don’t “owe” him anything and that I was totally turned off due to his behavior.

He argued and pushed and argued and pushed, all night long.  At 4 am he still wouldn’t go to sleep even though I’d asked him to just leave me alone.  He said he couldn’t sleep without an orgasm and that he couldn’t get himself off.  Every time he touched me I told him to back off. 

He finally climbed on top of my legs while I was lying on my stomach, and wouldn’t get off.  He said he knew I was horny because I was so wet and I told him not for him.  He started jacking off and trying to rub his cock between my thighs, swearing that was all he was going to do.

He wouldn’t get off me. He finally pretended to “fall” and push it in between my legs, under my panties. Please. Give me a fucking break. I told him to quit and get off me. He did but repeated a similar process again. He begged and pleaded and begged me to fuck him. He tried to say he treats me sooo well and I will never find another man who is so good to me.

At one point he claimed he would call this woman and stand up for me now. I told him to do it. He then said he only had her husband’s number. I said then call him and ask for hers and he said no one does that (eyeroll). He said he is getting out of the lifestyle now and it is all my fault, that he is in love with me and he can’t deal with this kind of stuff. He was so full of shit.

I ended up begrudgingly fucking him, twice, just to get him to leave me alone so I could sleep. No, I really didn’t want to and I flat out told him that. I didn’t cum or anything like that and barely acknowledged him. Then the next morning he tried to say he thought since we had “made love” everything was better. What a freaking joke. I am so, so, so, done. I was so glad to get out of there and never want to see him again. He kept telling me how I am going to miss him and be so sad. Give me a fucking break!!