Tag Archive | fantasies

Drifting into dreamland…..

 

Ever since the party the other night I feel like I’ve been falling harder for the Producer.  I didn’t think this was going to happen.  I’ve really got to concentrate on keeping my head on straight. 

The question I have to ask myself is why now?  We’ve been seeing one another for a couple of months and having lots of sex.  I really wasn’t that into him previously.  I mean I liked him, but I wonder what triggered these seemingly sudden new feelings?

Could it be that his accepting attitude towards me fucking another man, and one who was better endowed and hot at that, actually got me going?  I’m kind of bewildered.  I’ve always thought that would make the guy look kind of weak, but it didn’t in this case at all.

Then there is the fact that he told me some stuff about his past that isn’t repeatable on this blog.  It’s dangerous, badass, and maybe should be a red flag.  Yet, somehow I think my mind converts this to HOT.  I didn’t really feel that way when he told me about his former involvement in the porn industry (not as an actor but producing movies- he said it was actually to the point that he got tired of looking at pussies all day, lol).  Perhaps it’s something to do with the mystery of it all, it’s past but is there any way he could be covering things up now?  I’m on alert.

I mean I already know he’s a bit of a baller.  He cracks me up because he looks and acts the part.  He’s exactly what you’d expect a bigwig producer type to be like, in a lot of ways.  The other day he had me laughing because we were at the hotel and I said I needed to use the computer in the lobby to print off a couple of forms (I don’t have a printer at home).  It cost like 10 cents a page and he was like “you tell them Big Daddy said to put it on the tab”.  He didn’t want me to pay for it. LMFAO.  10 cents  :::smh:::: but yeah, that is his general attitude.

I’m pretty certain he’s into me.  He says I’m a “man’s dream” and keeps talking about how he loved being able to wake up next to me in the morning.  He keeps commenting that he’s really feeling me and I have him sprung.  Yesterday he referred to me as his baby.

The issue though, is that I don’t want to fuck up a good thing.  It seems like whenever “feelings” start to come into play it messes up whatever you have going.  People start acting like fools.  Jealousy, drama, I don’t want to mess with any of that.  I’m trying hard to reign in my rampant fantasies that have been going wild the past couple of days.

I’m still not “in love” but I’ve been doused with a bit of NRE (new relationship energy, or infatuation).  It’s all those little what ifs.  What if I could actually get what I want?  A long term relationship with someone who could help me- financially and with my difficult teenage son who really needs a male role model and someone intimidating enough to keep him in line.  That and would LET me have sex with other men??  OMG, it would be a dream come true. 

He’s commented that if I let him take my son for a weekend he would set him straight.  I don’t know what the hell he’d be planning to do though, lol.  The Producer was a problem child too and got kicked out of his entire school district.  I know he can identify and from his comments I can tell he’d be a bit harsh but he’s also generally pretty nice and easygoing.  He doesn’t seem like a control freak.

Did I mention he’s never had kids and actually seems to want one of his own?  I’d love to have another baby someday…. Before I get too old, lol, and I’ve always wanted a mixed baby, ever since taking care of my biracial siblings as a teen. He’s talked about how important it would be to him to be there for his children and to stay with the mother if he ever had kids.

He’s got a big house, with lots of bedrooms, a movie theater, a video arcade and a fully stocked bar.  I told him he should put a pole down there (for me) and throw swinger parties and he liked the idea.  Yeah my imagination has gone into overdrive.

Still, it’s all so premature.  I don’t want to get my hopes up or daydream too much about things that could be totally unrealistic.  Yeah, someone knock some sense into me!!  LOL  Help!! 

“Good in bed” and what it means to me…

in deep

I talk a lot about sex on my blog.  Sometimes I mention how fantastic a certain guy is in bed.  I’ve even mentioned “Penis Power” and the effect certain guys can have on a woman, and what they can do to her with their dick. However, today I’d like to go into more detail, and describe what “good in bed” means to me.

What got me thinking was a recent question by Cecilia in response to one of my blog entries.  She asked what it was that made “good pussy” according to men, since I have mentioned guys telling me I have some.  I’ve often wondered the same thing.  Kdaddy responded with his idea of “good pussy” which was interesting and helpful. He even mentioned that he may write a blog about it himself.  I’d definitely be interested in reading that one!! 

I’ve actually posed that question to men before and they have given various answers but the concept is still pretty vague.  Basically, I get that they want a woman to be enthusiastic.  Some say they like them tight and others say wet.  Being “good in bed” as a woman is hard to define.  Heck, I wrote an entire blog about THAT too. (Redefining Love) I talked about the lame tips we get from sources like Cosmo and how we are supposed to figure out what to do from there but don’t really have any real guidelines, as women.

Today though, I want to talk about men, and my personal preferences.  I can’t really speak for other women though I can GUESS that they might be similar to me in some ways.  Still, we are often different, or so say the men, and confusing.  Nero mentioned recently in one of HIS blogs that his wife didn’t like him pulling her hair during sex, though he thought she’d respond well to something a little more rough, since he’s been spying on her kindle searches and she seems to like sex stories that involve dominant men.

I don’t know about her, and can’t really fathom the negative response she gave, other than attributing it to being her husband and not wanting to submit too much too him.  However, on MY end, I love that shit.  I love it when a guy gets a little rough with me, hair pulling, spanking, getting aggressive, even to the point where I feel fear.  Actually that turns me on, being a little afraid of him and the power that he has over me in bed.

I used to think I’d hate someone choking me but there have been a few occasions where a guy put his hand to my throat in a mock “choke” and I actually came.  Despite my massive fear, and claustrophobic reaction to being “choked”, or perhaps because of it, I got really turned on.  I wouldn’t have thought so.  After having a guy really try to choke me once, and pick me up by my throat in a non- sexual manner, it is something that freaks me out…and apparently gets me horny too.

That said, I wouldn’t want serious choking, in or out of the bedroom.  It’s a fine line, kind of like a rape fantasy.  Oh, and rape fantasies?  I have those too.  I guess I’m actually fairly typical as far as women go in that regard.  It’s supposedly one of the top things we fantasize about and I’m right there with you all.

Actually, and I know this is terribly un-pc and perhaps a bit dangerous to admit (thank God this is fairly anonymous) but there was at least one time I was raped for real and actually enjoyed it.  It’s not something I’d ever want to encourage anyone to do, of course, and I’ve also been raped in a more traumatic way, at gunpoint, but this time, well, it was fucking HOT!! 

I’m a tad bit drunk while writing today (downed a bottle of wine) so bear with me, but this is brutal honesty.  Please don’t take it as me saying its okay to rape, or be raped because it’s not.  I was not turned on at ALL by the incident with the guy with the gun, however, this particular other time, well, it was the stuff my fantasies are made of.  If you are sensitive to this topic you may want to stop reading now.

I’ve mentioned this before on my blog.  I was 15 years old and lying in bed after having had sex with my boyfriend.  He went upstairs when some people showed up at the house and I was in a dark basement bedroom all by myself.  My clothes were on the floor next to the bed and I didn’t feel like getting up just yet. 

Someone came down the stairs, I think I probably thought it was my boyfriend and didn’t make a move to get up.  They opened the door and I could see a silhouette in the doorway, the light shining behind the guy who was standing there.  I was naked so I quickly pulled a sheet over myself, but not before he saw my body. All I could see of him was that he was wearing a wife beater and some kind of pimp hat.  He appeared to be biracial.  I couldn’t see his face though, because it was too dark and the light was behind him.

He came right up to the bed and got on top of me, with only the sheet between us.  I don’t remember what he said but know he was talking in a low voice and trying to get me turned on, as he pulled the sheet down.  I actually fought back, pushing him off, telling him no, and even biting his shoulder, yelling at him to stop.  I guess no one heard me.  He ignored my protests and just kept going. 

I couldn’t stop him.  He pried my legs apart and slid inside me easily, due to my being soaking wet already, from just having finished a round of sex with someone else.  He had a decent sized cock and no matter how much I had tried to stop him I couldn’t stop how good he was starting to make me feel.  IT FELT REALLY FREAKING GOOD.  He was whispering in my ear and despite my reluctance I couldn’t stop myself from moaning in pleasure. 

When he was done he got up and left.  I was upset enough that I cried and I asked around to try and figure out who he was.  The guys who were there gave some guesses so I THINK I know and it’s someone I saw fairly frequently at school but never actually talked to.  Still, I will never be 100% sure.

Did I feel violated?  Yes, but I was also extremely turned on and it’s something that still gets me excited to think about today.  Actually it was similar to my experience with another guy, one I’ve mentioned before as someone who I eventually got into a fuck buddy style relationship with, even though we basically hated each other. 

The second guy was the one who first got me involved in some gangbangs.  I blame him because I willingly slept with the first person, but not with this one.  He came up behind, unexpected and got on top of me before I had a chance to get up.  I fought with and attempted to push him off multiple times, but he wouldn’t let me or allow me to get to my clothes.  He’d just start talking to me, whispering in my ear as he inched a little closer, with the tip inside me, a little bit at a time, until he was all the way in and fucking me, where I couldn’t make him stop. 

I don’t doubt in the least that they had planned it that way, because he was good.  Not just good at working his way in but good at sex in general and soon had me feeling better than I wanted to and super turned on, even though I didn’t want to be, or want to be in that situation.  By the time the next guys came along in line I didn’t even try to fight with them.  I knew it was fruitless and wasn’t going to work, he’d made me feel helpless.  So I lay there and let them have their way with me.

There were many times after that he and I continued to have sex and he was always very aggressive in the sense that he just “took” what he wanted.  We could barely stand one another during the day but at night he was fucking the daylights out of me.  We’d get in arguments that ended up in the bedroom, with him taking out his aggression and it was just hot, hot, hot!!

Admittedly, nowadays, I get turned on by that shit.  A guy who can make me feel completely at his mercy can REALLY get me going.  I can’t really say whether that is due to previous experiences or just the way I am but I love it!!

The Married Man, who is my favorite sex of all time, does just that.  Makes me feel like he is in complete control and there is nothing I can do.  He was the first guy that brought me to multiple orgasms and it was because I didn’t have any choice.  He had me in all these positions and was doing all this stuff to me that felt sooo good and I couldn’t make him stop.  I lost all control because he took it.  He even pinned me down when he was licking me and wouldn’t let me up, and what do you know I just kept cumming and cumming and cumming.

  At one point he had me pinned up against the headboard of the bed, fucking me in a pretzel style that had me screaming because I couldn’t handle it anymore.  He finally realized I was serious and gave me a little break, lol.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack I was orgasming so much.  I mean it.

He also knew exactly what to do with his dick.  As does the Professor.  Stuff and positions that drive me crazy.  He, the Prof and the guy I mentioned above are my top three of all time. 

Another thing they all had in common was that they wanted to be called “Daddy” in bed.  Something about that just puts me through the roof and part of it is probably that I would never just say that to anyone.  It’s another form of taking control.  Something about the vulnerability of “going there” with a guy is like the ultimate turn on to me.

Mr. Firm, well, judging from the explosive first time sex we had, he may get there someday as well.  The way he stared into my eyes, the things he said to me, the forceful way he grabbed my body and did what he wanted, all those are indicators to me of a man that can rock my world.  I have a big thing for experiencing all that masculine power between the sheets.

Even the Producer, the last time we had sex was hotter than usual and I think it was because I was still half dressed.  I was wearing heels and he had me bent over the bed and I kept sliding in them across the carpet so couldn’t fully stand up.  He just ignored it and pounded away.  Then he had me lying on my back with my legs up and the fact that I was still wearing them added to that helpless feeling.  I dunno why I love that so much but I do.

So for me the top turn ons are a really dominant guy who also can sweet talk me.  If he’s saying sexy things to me (but not mean, like calling me a whore or something) and at the same time fucking me forcefully I just lose it.  Completely.  Something about that sweet, sexy, voice and also knowing what to do with his cock puts me over the edge.  If he can go down on me and do it in a dominant way then he is like top of the list too (Mr. Firm was good at that…as is the Married Man…mmmmm….).

Some people get upset by rape-ish fantasies and it seems all the more difficult these days to find men that can indulge them without misunderstanding. (By that I mean understanding that I don’t like any real pain and still want to feel a connection.) Still, when they can….whew!  Not to say the Prof did that, because he didn’t, but he was still dominant and still really took control. 

Man, I’m getting all excited and I’m stuck here because my vehicle is in the shop.  The Producer is halfway across the US today at a party and no one else is nearby or available.  Dangit… 

There’s that guy that gave me the flowers and he keeps trying to hit me up but I know he would suck in bed, lol.  He was trying to convince me with lines like “I’ll make it really fast, just come by here for a couple minutes”.  Gee, that’s hot…NOT!!

I did a funny little experiment the other day, after this guy on my Facebook posted that if you want to know if a guy is really into you, ask him your eye color.  So I thought I’d play a little game and see if any of them got it right.  Wanna know who did?  My Fuck Buddy!!  Hahaha  

I told him what the guy had posted and he was like “that guy is an idiot”.  Lmao…yeah, I didn’t figure he was all that “into me” anyhow.  My eyes are olive green…see the pic?

eye<

  Yet most of them said “hazel”. 

The Married Man guessed light brown or light green.  Mr. Firm said “hazel or multicolored” and I told him he gets a pass, since we just met, lol. The Pilot ignored me (though we’ve talked a tiny bit, I wished him a Happy Birthday via text and he chatted just a little but I think he’s still mad) and the Producer tried to argue with me that olive green and hazel are “the same”.  He was googling pics and trying to convince me that he is actually “into me” lmao!!  My FWB, who I haven’t seen in ages, said hazel but then was like “I could identify your eyes among 100 pairs”.  Yeah, yeah….  I didn’t ask the guy I had the affair with because he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt.  He always talks about my “green eyes”. 

I avoided asking the young guy or the one who gave me flowers or any of the ones I think are into me but where I don’t return the sentiment.  I’m still not talking to the Prof.  He looked at my swinger pics once again but I’m too upset with the Facebook shenanigans to have anything to do with him at this point.  Ugh. 

Anyhow, will see the Producer in a couple of days so not like I’m going sexless any time soon.  😉  He is having to find a new place for when he is in town and may get one closer to me.  Not sure what that is all about but it’s interesting anyway.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

 

P.S.  I do exactly what is in the picture sometimes, ha!!  Trying to keep from guys going in too deep!! 

Missed opportunity? :/

gb

So Mr. Firm is off in another state with his old buddies from college now.  He had actually invited me to come along tonight, though I had some doubts as to whether or not that would work out.  He mentioned it before we had sex and I said I would think about it and let him know afterwards, once we had met in person. While we were lying in bed talking, after orgasms, he brought it up again. 

At first I wasn’t sure.  I don’t know anything about these men, have never so much as seen a picture, and didn’t know how much pressure I would be under to sleep with them.  However, he said they were both attractive, both policemen and both able to get plenty of pussy on their own so there wouldn’t be any pressure if I didn’t want to play with them.  

I still wondered, because first of all this is their little male bonding trip, lol.  I didn’t want to be tagging along like a ball and chain, though I didn’t say so out loud.  He had all his golf clubs there with him at the hotel and was telling me all about their plans to go out at night.  He mentioned that we could all go out to the club together that night and end up doing whatever afterwards. 

Either way, it’s a little over a 2 hour drive, so lots of gas money….and time.  Still, it was starting to sound tempting.  I totally could see myself as the center of attention with 3 handsome, athletic men in a hotel room, haha.  I know I’ve said before that I was done with this kind of thing, due to experiences when I was younger, but I’d be lying if I said there aren’t SOME things about it that are appealing.

What mostly holds me back isn’t that it doesn’t sound hot, but fear.  The fear isn’t anything about how I would experience the sex myself but about how THEY might view it, or treat me afterwards.  I’ve come across way too many men that see acts like this as degrading to a woman.  If their attitude was positive, then great, it could be a lot of fun but if not, then I could be left feeling pretty awful, or even abandoned.  Abandonment is a big issue for me and these guys both live a couple states away in different directions so unlikely I would see them again.

Mr. Firm is pretty cool and I don’t get the feeling he’d be that way at all.  Still, the other guys, I know nothing about.  Well, I know one is on the swinger site, and the other wants to be but isn’t yet.  They are both in relationships (no idea if swinging is “approved” by their significant others or not) and were in Mr. Firm’s fraternity in college and played sports together.  He says they had a bit of popularity due to having a great team and winning all the time, and got involved in some pretty crazy amounts of sex back then too.  So they aren’t rookies or anything, lol, but they heard about swinging and his success on the site from Mr. Firm and thought it sounded fun.

Still, knowing all that, it was sounding tempting to me, and I probably would have made the trip down there.  In the end though, it was Mr. Firm’s decision that we’d maybe be better off not and risking an awkward situation.  I’d told him that I couldn’t promise or guarantee that I would sleep with them until after meeting and wouldn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun if I got down there and didn’t want to do it.  He totally understood and said the guys were law enforcement officers so wouldn’t want to make me uncomfortable in any way. 

Sigh…. I didn’t want to appear pushy or overeager in any way so I didn’t really let him know how likely I would probably have been to do it.  A mistake?  Maybe.  But then he may have just been using that as an excuse to not have me in the way of their going out and having guy time and I didn’t want to mess with that either.  Or maybe his friends decided I was butt ugly and didn’t want to fuck with me, haha.  Doubtful though, I don’t generally seem to have that issue with men.  Could be they just weren’t into the group idea and wanted to find women for themselves, or already did last night, haha.  I wouldn’t doubt that at all! 😉

 Part of me was thinking these guys are way too “nice” and disappointed that it didn’t work out.  But at the same time, it may be for the best.  Mr. Firm has made it pretty clear that he wants to see me again.  He says he really wished it could have worked out and he didn’t mean with me just being with all them.  I was like “Oh, I’m not saying that couldn’t be fun, lmao, just can’t guarantee anything”…and I can’t, but still…it COULD have been fabulous.  He commented on how much of a blast he had the other night and that he likes me even more because I am so easygoing.  Blah…

He’s been cool as a cucumber so far but now I wonder if I’ll ever have that kind of opportunity with him again.  He’s probably put me into the “doesn’t do that sort of thing” category.  Booo!  His attitude here at the end (and maybe he was getting it from the other guys because he said they were talking about it) was that he wouldn’t want to put me in an uncomfortable situation.  Then he sort of acted like he thought it might be degrading towards me or something.  Or, like he likes me too much now to want to share.  Dammit! 

It’s kind of like this guy who gave me the flowers and wants to get to “second base”.  He looked at my cleavage when we were sitting on the couch together the other night and was like “I’m going to be good”.  I even made a comment about how he didn’t need to be but he never tried anything.  Then afterwards he texted to say how bad he had wanted me!!  He asked if I would have done anything with him and I said yeah, probably, and he freaked out!  My phone rang and it was him demanding to know WHY I would have done something with him that night??  I was like “why not??”  and he said he was kicking himself now.  SMDH….

I hate it that men seem to think they need to treat me as innocent and sexually delicate.  I really like it when a man gets more aggressive about things, though a lot of guys seem to confuse that with PUSHY, which I don’t like.  I mean the two cops?  Come on, did they think I was going to cry rape after agreeing to sleep in a hotel room with 3 men?  Um, not unless I’d blatantly told them NO and they kept pushing or something. 

Speaking of pushy, this young guy that I slept with last year keeps harassing me to see him tonight.  His texting is driving me nuts.  Just another reason I’m not that into the younger guys.  I told him sorry I couldn’t make it tonight and he just keeps pushing and pushing and asking why and saying he can come over and help me with whatever needs to get done.

I don’t like dealing with the immaturity and even though he’s really cute I just don’t have the desire to fuck him.  When I did it felt weird, like he was too wowed by my “older woman” skills or something, haha.  He’s 13 years younger than me and it makes me feel a little bit creepy and awkward.  I really need someone who can dominate me and it’s hard to get in that mental state with someone so young.

 Really, I just am not interested in seeing him right now.  He wasn’t offering to take me anywhere and just wants to come to my house, which means extra cleaning and work that I don’t feel like doing tonight.  I want a break and the Producer will be here at a hotel tomorrow so it’s not like I won’t be getting some more sex.  So here I am writing my blog!! 😉  Hope all of you all are having a more exciting night than me!!

 

 

Mmmmm…. my pleasure ;)

sensual-blogging-award

It feels soooo GOOD to be given the Sensual Blogger award! Thank you Ankoku1331 over at Speaking out on Nate for another stroke to my ego! My fellow bloggers do me so well. 😉

Like the other awards I’ve been nominated for, this one has directions. Being the submissive girl that I am I am going to follow them. Here is what I’ve been told to do.

1. Thank the blogger who nominated AWARDED you with a link back to their blog.

2. Copy and paste this fine award on your blog.

3. Answer 7 “sensual” questions posed by the blogger who awarded you this fine award.

4. Create or borrow 7 “sensual” questions for the bloggers you award this fine award to to answer.

5. Select 7 “sensual” bloggers to award this fine award to.

My answers to the 7 sensual questions:

1. Someone is attempting to seduce you over dinner, what is the dinner?

Hmmm… maybe a nice Italian meal, pasta that includes artichokes, capers, and mushrooms in a light creamy sauce and a glass of white wine.

2. Which song or songs get/put you in a sensual-sexual mood?

Oh wow. I could go on all day on this one. I even wrote a post awhile back with links. Feel Like Makin Love. That’s really only the beginning though.

3. Everyone has a scent that takes them back to a fond moment, what is your scent and the moment?

Well, considering right now I’m still missing the Professor something fierce, I’m going to say the cologne he wears, Obsession for Men. I love the way he smells.

4. A sensuous-sexual activity that you want more of? (backrubs, kissing, etc.)

I want a massage!! Seems like every time a guy offers one it’s just a trap, intended to get you in bed that they never follow through on. The Jamaican guy I met with the other day had on his profile that he loves giving a woman a nice massage and is really good at it. So when we were together in the hotel room I asked him if that meant he was going to give me one, in a kind of teasing manner and he laughed and said that was just something random he put on there. Wtf?? LOL Where is my damn massage?

Haha He’s not the first to do that either! One guy I met off the swinger site, the one that drove 4 hours to meet me back in like August or September, he had promised a massage to me over email and it never came to pass. Booo! The Professor did sometimes massage my shoulders for me though, and he didn’t have to be asked. Waah!! 😦  I am so heartsick lately. 😦

5. A sexual fantasy that you have not indulged, but would if the situation was “perfect” for you (no guilt, travel taken care of, etc.)

I want to have sex on the beach, on a blanket, out in the open, on a vast stretch of empty beach like they had on the North Shore of Hawaii when I was younger and living there. I’d prefer broad daylight and warm sun. There would HAVE to be a big blanket involved though because we all know sand in the ass is a bad idea. Barring that I’d like to do it out in a big open field (on a blanket, never without the big blanket, lol) during the day. The grass would have to be short too, I am practical, haha.

6. A favorite gift given to you by a partner or lover?

I have to think about this because unfortunately most of my partners and lovers didn’t buy me jack. (Damn them to hell and back) haha. I do like the hoodie that the Professor bought me. It’s one of those “useful” gifts but the thing I like most is that he randomly bought it because he was thinking about me and not for any special occasion.

7. One piece of sensuous advice that you would give to anyone?

Pay attention to your partner’s entire body, not just their known erogenous zones. Every inch of their body is worth touching, licking, exploring. Don’t neglect the inner thighs and do lots of teasing.

8. Bonus Question: I am in the mood to read a single paragraph of erotica: What can you create with the following prompts: An apple orchard, a robot with a limp, sunset, and at least one famous person (alive or dead)?

You just had to throw in a fucking “robot with a limp” didn’t you?? lol. A single paragraph? Sheesh. I’m not sure I can make this “sensual”. Kinky maybe? Lmao

Okay here you go and we will say my famous person is Adriana Lima.

Glancing sheepishly around the empty apple orchard, and noticing the sun start to set in the distance, Adriana had a very naughty thought pass through her mind. She glanced down at the robot she’d been trying to fix, his broken leg lying in the grass beside her. What if she put this limping robot to a different kind of use? His extra leg, with the round smooth knob at the end, would fit just perfectly in that hole in the middle and the button on his side was making him vibrate like crazy….

And now for my most awesome list:

7 Sensual Bloggers

1. Betty Homebanger
2. Indiscretions
3. Being Her (the other woman)
4. Dollydrop blog
5. My Sex Life with Lola
6. Risque Divorcee
7. The Wistful Sinner

Don’t think I am done yet! You all have some questions to answer, so get busy!! 😉

1. What is your favorite way to masturbate?

2. What’s one of your naughty little masturbation fantasies?

3. Do you read any kind of erotica or watch porn? What’s one of your favorite kinds?

4. What’s something you like to do in the bedroom that you think might be unique or a special talent?

5. What is your favorite thing to have done to you in bed?

6. What is your ultimate fantasy place to have sex?

7. What’s the most interesting place you’ve already tried it?

And since I had to do it, now here is your bonus. Write a paragraph of erotica involving the following prompts: A thunderstorm, a locked door, a barking dog and an angry neighbor.

USED…for phone sex, once again

I’ve been used for phone sex, more than once, by random strangers. There was the guy who I met on Plenty of Fish. He was funny over email and good looking. I thought I’d like him and we were supposed to go out on a date that night. Instead, he called me from an anonymous number, which he said was his hotel room. Also, his phone had overheated in the sun and then been dropped in a toilet, or something like that. He proceeded to ask me questions about my favorite sexual positions. I couldn’t really answer, I told him, because I was holding a toddler and my kids were close by. That was okay, just answer yes or no. 😉

So I did, as he apparently was jacking off and getting very excited. He told me what a sexy voice I have. I know right? While I’m standing there giving blunt “yes” or “no” answers to questions like “do you like doggystyle?” and trying to attend to my fussy little one. I’m sure that was super hot, lol. Then suddenly, it was all over. Clearly he had cum. He said goodbye and hung up, never to be heard from again. So much for the date! I guess it wasn’t necessary now.

Then there was the 50 something guy I met at the grocery store. The one who wanted me to check and see if any of his eggs were cracked, and followed me out to my car, hounding for my number. He said I looked like “an angel”. He was actually pretty attractive for his age and I admired his ballsy approach so I gave it to him. Oops. Turns out he was more cracked than any egg in the basket. Total stalker material, but I managed to avoid giving him the actual location of my home when he asked. Anyhow, he would call me on the phone from DIFFERENT NUMBERS, constantly, so I couldn’t block him, wanting to “talk”, which actually meant listening to me try and deflect him while he got off. He’d try to get me to call him “master” and go on about all the things he was going to do to me. I’d be like “um, I have to go” and he’d say “wait, wait, not yet” and keep talking. Wow.

I’ve never really been big on phone sex. I mean, virtually always, the guy gets off first and then he is done, so what’s the point? Half the time I’m not even doing what they think I am. I’m totally just letting him play with himself while I listen. Usually, it’s just listen because he’s the one going on about what he’s gonna do to me, lol. So “oh yeah” and “mmmm” are sufficient answers for the guys I actually like, and “yes” and “no” apparently work too. Hell, I guess “look, dude, I can’t talk right now” is pretty hot as well, as far as some guys are concerned.

I don’t know that I have a particularly sexy voice, though I have been told I do. One guy, who worked the phone line for a hotel chain told me I should be a phone sex operator. I was trying to book a room so that I could attend a funeral. Seriously? Makes you wonder. Like, wonder if any female voice will do for a horny guy.

So today, the Love of My Life calls me up. I haven’t talked to him on the phone for a while so it was kind of a surprise. He’s lying in bed and not going to work today, he says. I start telling him how the police showed up at my door this morning with my 12 year old and his friend, in handcuffs. They were caught climbing in the back of a tree trimming truck. He expresses appropriate sympathy then starts talking about what he wants to do to me.

I’m not really participating but I guess it was enough. I could hear him stroking furiously in the background and got quiet. Pretty soon it was over and he says I should be careful because I could get caught by my kids. Caught doing what? LOL I was sitting on my bathroom floor, with the fan on, listening to him and that’s about it. I hadn’t claimed otherwise. Then he announces “well, I’d better go take a shower now honey, talk to you later”. LMAO Did the Love of My Life just stoop to the same level as random dude from Plenty of Fish? Hahahaha

I feel so used!! 😉 I’m just playing, really I think it’s kind of funny. I’ve tried to participate in phone sex sessions in the past but it’s just never done it for me, which I guess is odd because I LOVE the sound of a guy’s voice when we are having sex. I just want to be actually having sex.

Yes, sometimes distance can make the real thing an unreality for the moment, and talking on the phone (when I don’t have kids around) can be nice and even dabbling into a sexual conversation. I’m more likely to go and masturbate on my own afterwards than to actually be able to cum while talking to him though. Its hard for me to find the time to relax and get into it. Maybe that’s due to being a mom, but I never really liked phone sex that much when I was younger either.

So I guess I’m not a fun phone sex friend. Not that men seem to mind. Apparently we could be talking about politics, or the weather, or bills and they would get all hot. Cracks me up! Am I alone here? Ladies do you enjoy phone sex? Guys, what is the deal? Are the words “yes” and “no” really sufficient enough to fuel your fapping fantasies? SMH….

The problem with porn

My ex- husband claimed he was addicted to porn. So addicted, that he lacked the desire to actually have sex with a flesh and blood female. That was his story. It’s hard to say how much of that was truth, but I do know that he, like virtually every other male on the face of the planet, had some sort of relationship with women in pictures and on a screen.

I have to admit I resented the voyeuristic tendencies of men very strongly during those years. I came to view pornography as my competition, as the evil force that was out to destroy my home and family. I was angry that I was being rejected due to my husband’s obsession with women who were really only portraying a fantasy, something I could never live up to. I felt like I was being cheated on. Like seriously, you’d rather do that than fuck me?

Now I’ve come to realize that he may have been simply using that as an excuse, to cover up possible homosexual tendencies. Perhaps it was porn that involved his dominatrix fantasies, which I discovered during the divorce. I really can’t say, because he never would own up to it or let me see what he was actually watching.

I know that he had gone to porn booths, which I knew nothing about beforehand and am still a little hazy on. Apparently that involves putting change into a video player in a booth and watching movies while you jack off. Relatively harmless sounding, to me, but I’ve since heard that people actually have anonymous sexual encounters there, sometimes involving other men. Oh, so that’s why it was such a big deal. Hmmm…. He’d even supposedly talked over his “problem” with our pastor and went to a special men’s group at the church where they discussed this very issue, because so many men in the church were “struggling” with porn problems.

It’s funny because when we were dating, and I was 18, before we’d gotten to the point where he “rededicated his life to Christ” and decided he couldn’t sleep with me anymore before marriage, I’d actually tried to get him to watch a porn movie WITH me. After all, at that time in my life I knew plenty of young men who watched porn and it had never occurred to me that it might be a “problem” that needed fixing.

I’d seen a few porn movies myself, with guys mostly, and with friends and never really thought too much about it. Actually, I mostly found them more entertaining than a turn on, but they were interesting. So I dragged the ex to the xxx video store (back before the internet was so mainstream). I was curious to find something we could watch as a couple and was sadly disappointed that the whole place was filled with movies that only seemed interesting to men. I mean there were a few video covers with attractive guys on the front, but those were the gay ones. I asked the guy behind the counter for help and he pointed us in the general direction of some videos made for couples. My ex- husband looked like he wanted to crawl through the floor. He later said watching porn just wasn’t something you did with another person. Huh?

Anyway, with an odd seeming sense of trepidation, he picked out the movie. We went back home to watch it. WOW. It was horrible. SO bad that I was practically rolling on the floor laughing the entire time. This really unattractive, old, balding, fat man who couldn’t get an erection was standing there talking and his beautiful, dolled up and in sexy lingerie “wife” was doing things to try and get him turned on. Then it turned to her whipping him and him crawling on the floor and kissing her feet and begging. OMG, it was pathetic and a huge turn OFF, at least for me. I now know that those type of things excited my ex- husband, but he was afraid to tell me about it, I guess.

We were a horrible sexual match, two people who would both prefer to be submissive in bed. Not cool. I guess I’d given him a different impression in the beginning because I was so forward with sexual things and used to a certain level of expectation. Like on our first date I automatically gave him a blow job, because that’s what every other guy seemed to want. It never crossed my mind that would be seen as aggressive, but him, being sexually much more inexperienced, probably saw it as so. It was only after the date (and we’d had sex too, me climbing on his lap in the car because, well, I was horny and that’s just what you did, right?) that I realized he saw my actions as slutty and I started to backtrack and freak out, trying to portray a more ladylike image. I can kind of see why he mistook me as more dominant than I really am.

So back to porn. He claimed he rarely watched it but that it was still an addiction. I don’t get it, but that’s okay. As for me, I’ve not watched a lot of porn either. Mainly I think it’s because I’m not really a voyeur. I just don’t get that turned on by watching a dick going in and out and in and out repeatedly from the viewpoints and angles you see in porn. Whoop de do. :p Plus it’s just funny to me, the plotlines are so ridiculous and back then the skinny, hairy guys just weren’t sexy to me at all. And what is with all the attractive women and totally UNattractive men? Come on now.

I remember the first “real” porn movie I ever watched. It was called Tabu III and I watched it at a guy’s house with a bunch of other teenagers. My girlfriend and I were cracking up at the stupidity of the comments “but, you’re my mother” (OMG!!!). We laughed so hard through the whole thing, I can’t imagine it actually getting me wet. There was a lesbian scene somewhere that kinda excited me but that was about it. Wash, dry, rinse and repeat with just about every porn movie I saw back then. The soft porn was just too boring and the harder stuff was mostly funny. I did see a threesome scene with two guys and a woman standing on a roadside somewhere that I kinda liked though. 😉

Now I had seen stuff when I was younger, but it was mostly involving naked women. A friend’s dad had a playboy centerfold photo up in his garage and piles of magazines so I’d seen those, but not particularly of interest to me other than just basic curiosity. I’d also seen some sort of Showtime movie involving two women in a steam room making out naked, that was kind of hot, but most porn just really didn’t impress me. I once purchased a Playgirl, just to see what it was like but again, it only made me laugh. Some naked guy I don’t know posing is kind of funny and their idea of attractive doesn’t really jive with mine.

I guess I’m a typical female in that I’d rather READ a steamy, sexy story than watch it on the screen. That way I can fill in the pictures with my imagination. I wonder if that is because so much porn caters to men and I just haven’t seen much that would turn me on. I’m not into ugly guys fucking attractive women and never going down on them. That seems to be like 85% of the porn out there. The emotional coldness, the obvious faked orgasms (a lot of women in porn don’t even bother to fake it), the bored or “God, would you just hurry up already so I can get paid” looks on the females’ faces, it just doesn’t do anything for me.

I don’t know though, I once watched some online webcam videos of real couples having sex, with a guy friend of mine. That was incredibly boring to me too. Like one couple the woman was sitting on top of the man and spent what seemed like ages just running her nails up and down his chest. I could barely sit through it and wanted to fast forward to the “good part” just like I would have to with a regular porn movie most of the time. The same positions for a long time too, just not worth watching. I don’t get all that excited seeing people have sex in real life either, like at the swinger parties. Maybe I just need to participate. And I do kind of like being watched! 😉

Don’t get me wrong. I love to read and have written a few erotic stories of my own and I love to watch myself and guys I am into on video. I’m over the “porn is evil” mindset because it’s obvious to me that it only becomes an “issue” when you make it one. I also like to find out what kind of porn the guys I like are into because it gives me an idea about them and what they are secretly fantasizing about, and I can capitalize on that! 😉 I just hope they aren’t secretly into something I can’t provide. If they’re hoping for anal with Asian women, midgets and whip wielding dominatrixes, I’m not gonna be able to cut it, lol. It’s good to know that though, so you at least realize it’s not you, it’s him. Of course I fantasize about some things I’d never actually do, so we can’t assume every porn dream is a desired reality either.

The Love of My Life once sent me an entire file full of porn and didn’t explain why. I asked but he didn’t respond. Okay, he must want me to watch some of this? So I did and was pleasantly surprised that it was mostly amateur stuff and the women all looked very different from one another. I have to say though that one particular video may have scarred me for life. It was of a gigantic woman with a big, hairy bush. Her ass was completely covered with pimples and she was just butt booty ugly (sorry, its true!). So the guy kept oiling her ass over and over and having her wiggle and jiggle it for the camera. Boy, that was exciting. Or not. Hahaha Then he fucked her but it was just….yucky. Another one had a girl with big boobs jumping up and down on a bed for a long time naked. Okay. It seemed like some of the fucking scenes took forever to get to and I had to fastforward through all the boring “foreplay”. Most of it involved a woman sucking the guy’s dick and then sex, but she didn’t get any licking. Boooooo!! Selfish, selfish, men, who of course had to end by cumming on her face or some other act that was meant to appear degrading. Or the women would act terrified due to a guy with a gigantic dick. Snort…

He later told me he had done computer work for the porn company and that he’d only watched the first 20 seconds or so of each video because of it and was laughing at the way the people had gotten some of the women to participate. Mmmmmkay…. Well, I guess they got paid anyway, let’s hope.

I was once at the Professor’s house and he was showing me pictures he’d taken at a relative’s wedding ceremony when a site he’d been on accidentally popped up. Mature lesbian porn. So that’s what he apparently watches. Hmmmmm…. interesting. He does tend to go for the older women.

So the other day I saw a porn video someone posted on a forum that I actually kind of liked. It was this one (please don’t click link if you are under 18).

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=762251480

I’m loving how they look at each other and that she obviously enjoys it. You don’t see much of that in porn. She actually had some real orgasms too. Wow. She’s touching him and saying things that I sometimes say in the heat of the moment too so it seems more genuine. Nice. I showed it to the Professor and said this kind of reminds me of us. He agreed but said “yeah, but you cum way more than that,” which is true, especially with him, lol. That’s a relatively new development for me though. Until earlier this year, with the married man, I’d hardly cum during sex with a guy. Actually, it’s debatable if I’d ever at all, with anyone other than myself, and I’d had a fair amount of sex with a fair amount of people, some of whom were pretty darn good in bed. So it’s not all the guys fault, but that’s another topic, lol.

So what are your thoughts on porn? Do you like it? If so do you have a favorite type? Are you male or female?

From the friend zone to the end zone (and a little further)

Many people, both men and women, seem more threatened by the idea of a threesome with two men and a woman than one involving two women. I’m not sure why that is. I could speculate, but instead I’m going to relay my own adventures because personally I LOVED being the center of attention during sex with two heterosexual men who were entirely focused on ME, ME, ME, lol. 😉 It took a special kind of emotional connection for me to get to the point of wanting sex with more than one man at a time but when it happened it was HOT. My tale is also a true story of how one guy got out of the friend zone and into my panties so men take note, it is NOT impossible under the right circumstances!

Once upon a time, back in high school, I had this platonic guy friend. He had been dating a friend of mine but when they broke up he and I stayed close. When I say close I mean he was at my house all the time. We spent almost every afternoon together after school, for like an entire 3 years. He was a nice looking guy and smart and fun and everything you could ever want in a boyfriend but for some reason I had just assumed he had no sexual attraction to me, so he became “like a brother”. We hung out and I told him all about the various boyfriends I had and guys I was sleeping with. Looking back it’s like a forehead slapping, DUH, he liked me, but I was oblivious at the time! Completely!!

Back in those days I was pretty sexually adventurous (surprise, surprise) and running around with a like- minded female friend (who had been his girlfriend originally) and a group of guys that were even more so than us. He was there but I don’t remember who, if anyone, he was sleeping with during that time. I just remember him always being there with ME. He was even there in BED with me on several occasions when I was having sex with someone else. I’m not even sure what he was doing there, I guess just watching and hanging out. At the time it never occurred to me that he might be getting off by the sight of it all or that he too might be interested. After all, wouldn’t he have tried something on me by then?

In any case I was blind as fuck. Once he even spent the night at my house, but he hid under the bed so my grandmother wouldn’t know he was there. No apparent sexual interest, at least not that I could see. He teased me constantly and we were flirtatious with one another though, and EVERY guy I dated was just sure I was secretly fucking him on the side. I had to explain that he was JUST a friend and they were just so ridiculous in not seeing it for what it was. Haha. Yeah, I’m shaking my head over here too.

So eventually it came to pass, during the last few months of my senior year, that I started seeing the guy that was Mr. Platonic’s best male friend. He and I were having sex. Mr. Platonic was always around and hanging out with us, and I think he started to get jealous. Once, when Male Friend and I were getting it on and Mr. Platonic was sitting there watching us, Male Friend’s roommates thought it would be funny to bust open the bedroom door and see what we were doing. The guy who popped open the lock was a very attractive, occasional male stripper and he thought it was HILARIOUS that Mr. Platonic was just sitting there doing nothing and watching the action. He came in the room asking if he could join in too and I was tempted, haha, but he got a pillow thrown at his head and the door slammed in his face, lol. It resulted in poor Mr. Platonic getting a lot of teasing though, from the other guys.

Not long after, there was a time when Male Friend and I were making out in the backseat of a car and I felt Mr. Platonic’s hands on me as well. He was trying to get in on the action and I was offended and pushed him away. Ouch. Harsh rejection. On my end though it was like dude, we are just friends, what the hell?

It just so happened that Mr. Platonic, around that time, started some kind of a relationship with a female friend of mine. She was one of these girls that looks absolutely perfect even without makeup and she had tons of money and seemingly everything. She was smart too, and in the gifted program at school. I was friends with her but she was a “mean girl”, always putting down others and sneering at the lesser females. She was cool to hang out with and could be fun, but I can’t say I truly liked her as a person.

Anyhow, it was brought to my attention that there was something going on between them when she bought him a very expensive pair of shoes for his birthday. I was jealous in more ways than one. What was going on with them? Why was she buying him stuff? Were they seeing each other? For some reason I didn’t like it at all and of course I couldn’t afford to buy him stuff like that so I felt kind of bad, and kind of bad that I wasn’t doing the kinds of things for my friend that maybe I should be. It’s amazing how knowing another female is into a guy can suddenly bring him into the radar. If I had to give guys tips on how to get out of the friend zone I’d say MAKE HER JEALOUS is at the top of the list! Show some interest in another woman other than her and don’t just hang around hoping your interest in HER will suffice.

Anyway, one night soon after, he and I were home alone at my house and he made another move, coming onto me hard and kissing me on the couch. I didn’t reject him this time around. We ended up having sex and it felt so good. I was so full of emotion afterwards that I actually cried. He laughed at me and asked what’s wrong. I was so afraid that it would “ruin our friendship” now that we’d slept together. It didn’t though. 😉

What happened was that the next time he and I were together with Male Friend it naturally evolved into a threesome. Neither of them is gay so all the attention was on me. Mmmmm….. we liked it so much that we kept at it, again and again, having threesomes frequently into the summer months, maybe 20 or so times total.

We didn’t have a lot of places to have sex at that age so a lot of times we were in public. We’d have hot threesome sex in the car, or on a picnic table, or in the grass on the side of the road, or in the bathroom of a neighborhood swimming pool we’d climbed over the fence to get into at night. Once we were in the trunk of a car with the seats lying down while someone else was driving. Wild and free. There were a couple of times mutual guy friends of ours tried to get in on the action but I didn’t let them. Two was good for me, I wasn’t looking for a gangbang.

I really loved it when we’d smoke a joint in the car then Mr. Not so Platonic would lower the passenger side seat down and take me from the back while I was giving a blowjob to the Not Just a Male Friend in the backseat. Hot, hot, hot! It usually ended with one guy getting off then the other one finishing some more with me so I got twice the amount of time having sex as usual too.

I haven’t had a threesome with two guys since them but I can’t say I will never do it again. The circumstances and people involved would have to feel right because I don’t want to do it with anyone that sees it as treating me like a “slut” or being degrading. Just a personal pet peeve of mine I guess! It’s all about the mutual pleasure.

The Professor has a lot of threesomes with married women. I have to admit that when I recall my own experience it makes me more jealous than I was originally. The woman involved is getting a LOT of attention from two men and there is nothing quite like that. I don’t get the sense that he wants to go there with me though. He has commented that in a threesome with a married couple he feels like a third wheel. Apparently he likes it enough to keep at it though, so I don’t know. In any case I don’t feel ready to ask about him doing that with me, yet.