I talk a lot about sex on my blog. Sometimes I mention how fantastic a certain guy is in bed. I’ve even mentioned “Penis Power” and the effect certain guys can have on a woman, and what they can do to her with their dick. However, today I’d like to go into more detail, and describe what “good in bed” means to me.
What got me thinking was a recent question by Cecilia in response to one of my blog entries. She asked what it was that made “good pussy” according to men, since I have mentioned guys telling me I have some. I’ve often wondered the same thing. Kdaddy responded with his idea of “good pussy” which was interesting and helpful. He even mentioned that he may write a blog about it himself. I’d definitely be interested in reading that one!!
I’ve actually posed that question to men before and they have given various answers but the concept is still pretty vague. Basically, I get that they want a woman to be enthusiastic. Some say they like them tight and others say wet. Being “good in bed” as a woman is hard to define. Heck, I wrote an entire blog about THAT too. (Redefining Love) I talked about the lame tips we get from sources like Cosmo and how we are supposed to figure out what to do from there but don’t really have any real guidelines, as women.
Today though, I want to talk about men, and my personal preferences. I can’t really speak for other women though I can GUESS that they might be similar to me in some ways. Still, we are often different, or so say the men, and confusing. Nero mentioned recently in one of HIS blogs that his wife didn’t like him pulling her hair during sex, though he thought she’d respond well to something a little more rough, since he’s been spying on her kindle searches and she seems to like sex stories that involve dominant men.
I don’t know about her, and can’t really fathom the negative response she gave, other than attributing it to being her husband and not wanting to submit too much too him. However, on MY end, I love that shit. I love it when a guy gets a little rough with me, hair pulling, spanking, getting aggressive, even to the point where I feel fear. Actually that turns me on, being a little afraid of him and the power that he has over me in bed.
I used to think I’d hate someone choking me but there have been a few occasions where a guy put his hand to my throat in a mock “choke” and I actually came. Despite my massive fear, and claustrophobic reaction to being “choked”, or perhaps because of it, I got really turned on. I wouldn’t have thought so. After having a guy really try to choke me once, and pick me up by my throat in a non- sexual manner, it is something that freaks me out…and apparently gets me horny too.
That said, I wouldn’t want serious choking, in or out of the bedroom. It’s a fine line, kind of like a rape fantasy. Oh, and rape fantasies? I have those too. I guess I’m actually fairly typical as far as women go in that regard. It’s supposedly one of the top things we fantasize about and I’m right there with you all.
Actually, and I know this is terribly un-pc and perhaps a bit dangerous to admit (thank God this is fairly anonymous) but there was at least one time I was raped for real and actually enjoyed it. It’s not something I’d ever want to encourage anyone to do, of course, and I’ve also been raped in a more traumatic way, at gunpoint, but this time, well, it was fucking HOT!!
I’m a tad bit drunk while writing today (downed a bottle of wine) so bear with me, but this is brutal honesty. Please don’t take it as me saying its okay to rape, or be raped because it’s not. I was not turned on at ALL by the incident with the guy with the gun, however, this particular other time, well, it was the stuff my fantasies are made of. If you are sensitive to this topic you may want to stop reading now.
I’ve mentioned this before on my blog. I was 15 years old and lying in bed after having had sex with my boyfriend. He went upstairs when some people showed up at the house and I was in a dark basement bedroom all by myself. My clothes were on the floor next to the bed and I didn’t feel like getting up just yet.
Someone came down the stairs, I think I probably thought it was my boyfriend and didn’t make a move to get up. They opened the door and I could see a silhouette in the doorway, the light shining behind the guy who was standing there. I was naked so I quickly pulled a sheet over myself, but not before he saw my body. All I could see of him was that he was wearing a wife beater and some kind of pimp hat. He appeared to be biracial. I couldn’t see his face though, because it was too dark and the light was behind him.
He came right up to the bed and got on top of me, with only the sheet between us. I don’t remember what he said but know he was talking in a low voice and trying to get me turned on, as he pulled the sheet down. I actually fought back, pushing him off, telling him no, and even biting his shoulder, yelling at him to stop. I guess no one heard me. He ignored my protests and just kept going.
I couldn’t stop him. He pried my legs apart and slid inside me easily, due to my being soaking wet already, from just having finished a round of sex with someone else. He had a decent sized cock and no matter how much I had tried to stop him I couldn’t stop how good he was starting to make me feel. IT FELT REALLY FREAKING GOOD. He was whispering in my ear and despite my reluctance I couldn’t stop myself from moaning in pleasure.
When he was done he got up and left. I was upset enough that I cried and I asked around to try and figure out who he was. The guys who were there gave some guesses so I THINK I know and it’s someone I saw fairly frequently at school but never actually talked to. Still, I will never be 100% sure.
Did I feel violated? Yes, but I was also extremely turned on and it’s something that still gets me excited to think about today. Actually it was similar to my experience with another guy, one I’ve mentioned before as someone who I eventually got into a fuck buddy style relationship with, even though we basically hated each other.
The second guy was the one who first got me involved in some gangbangs. I blame him because I willingly slept with the first person, but not with this one. He came up behind, unexpected and got on top of me before I had a chance to get up. I fought with and attempted to push him off multiple times, but he wouldn’t let me or allow me to get to my clothes. He’d just start talking to me, whispering in my ear as he inched a little closer, with the tip inside me, a little bit at a time, until he was all the way in and fucking me, where I couldn’t make him stop.
I don’t doubt in the least that they had planned it that way, because he was good. Not just good at working his way in but good at sex in general and soon had me feeling better than I wanted to and super turned on, even though I didn’t want to be, or want to be in that situation. By the time the next guys came along in line I didn’t even try to fight with them. I knew it was fruitless and wasn’t going to work, he’d made me feel helpless. So I lay there and let them have their way with me.
There were many times after that he and I continued to have sex and he was always very aggressive in the sense that he just “took” what he wanted. We could barely stand one another during the day but at night he was fucking the daylights out of me. We’d get in arguments that ended up in the bedroom, with him taking out his aggression and it was just hot, hot, hot!!
Admittedly, nowadays, I get turned on by that shit. A guy who can make me feel completely at his mercy can REALLY get me going. I can’t really say whether that is due to previous experiences or just the way I am but I love it!!
The Married Man, who is my favorite sex of all time, does just that. Makes me feel like he is in complete control and there is nothing I can do. He was the first guy that brought me to multiple orgasms and it was because I didn’t have any choice. He had me in all these positions and was doing all this stuff to me that felt sooo good and I couldn’t make him stop. I lost all control because he took it. He even pinned me down when he was licking me and wouldn’t let me up, and what do you know I just kept cumming and cumming and cumming.
At one point he had me pinned up against the headboard of the bed, fucking me in a pretzel style that had me screaming because I couldn’t handle it anymore. He finally realized I was serious and gave me a little break, lol. I thought I was going to have a heart attack I was orgasming so much. I mean it.
He also knew exactly what to do with his dick. As does the Professor. Stuff and positions that drive me crazy. He, the Prof and the guy I mentioned above are my top three of all time.
Another thing they all had in common was that they wanted to be called “Daddy” in bed. Something about that just puts me through the roof and part of it is probably that I would never just say that to anyone. It’s another form of taking control. Something about the vulnerability of “going there” with a guy is like the ultimate turn on to me.
Mr. Firm, well, judging from the explosive first time sex we had, he may get there someday as well. The way he stared into my eyes, the things he said to me, the forceful way he grabbed my body and did what he wanted, all those are indicators to me of a man that can rock my world. I have a big thing for experiencing all that masculine power between the sheets.
Even the Producer, the last time we had sex was hotter than usual and I think it was because I was still half dressed. I was wearing heels and he had me bent over the bed and I kept sliding in them across the carpet so couldn’t fully stand up. He just ignored it and pounded away. Then he had me lying on my back with my legs up and the fact that I was still wearing them added to that helpless feeling. I dunno why I love that so much but I do.
So for me the top turn ons are a really dominant guy who also can sweet talk me. If he’s saying sexy things to me (but not mean, like calling me a whore or something) and at the same time fucking me forcefully I just lose it. Completely. Something about that sweet, sexy, voice and also knowing what to do with his cock puts me over the edge. If he can go down on me and do it in a dominant way then he is like top of the list too (Mr. Firm was good at that…as is the Married Man…mmmmm….).
Some people get upset by rape-ish fantasies and it seems all the more difficult these days to find men that can indulge them without misunderstanding. (By that I mean understanding that I don’t like any real pain and still want to feel a connection.) Still, when they can….whew! Not to say the Prof did that, because he didn’t, but he was still dominant and still really took control.
Man, I’m getting all excited and I’m stuck here because my vehicle is in the shop. The Producer is halfway across the US today at a party and no one else is nearby or available. Dangit…
There’s that guy that gave me the flowers and he keeps trying to hit me up but I know he would suck in bed, lol. He was trying to convince me with lines like “I’ll make it really fast, just come by here for a couple minutes”. Gee, that’s hot…NOT!!
I did a funny little experiment the other day, after this guy on my Facebook posted that if you want to know if a guy is really into you, ask him your eye color. So I thought I’d play a little game and see if any of them got it right. Wanna know who did? My Fuck Buddy!! Hahaha
I told him what the guy had posted and he was like “that guy is an idiot”. Lmao…yeah, I didn’t figure he was all that “into me” anyhow. My eyes are olive green…see the pic?
Yet most of them said “hazel”.
The Married Man guessed light brown or light green. Mr. Firm said “hazel or multicolored” and I told him he gets a pass, since we just met, lol. The Pilot ignored me (though we’ve talked a tiny bit, I wished him a Happy Birthday via text and he chatted just a little but I think he’s still mad) and the Producer tried to argue with me that olive green and hazel are “the same”. He was googling pics and trying to convince me that he is actually “into me” lmao!! My FWB, who I haven’t seen in ages, said hazel but then was like “I could identify your eyes among 100 pairs”. Yeah, yeah…. I didn’t ask the guy I had the affair with because he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt. He always talks about my “green eyes”.
I avoided asking the young guy or the one who gave me flowers or any of the ones I think are into me but where I don’t return the sentiment. I’m still not talking to the Prof. He looked at my swinger pics once again but I’m too upset with the Facebook shenanigans to have anything to do with him at this point. Ugh.
Anyhow, will see the Producer in a couple of days so not like I’m going sexless any time soon. 😉 He is having to find a new place for when he is in town and may get one closer to me. Not sure what that is all about but it’s interesting anyway. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
P.S. I do exactly what is in the picture sometimes, ha!! Trying to keep from guys going in too deep!!