Tag Archive | dates

My latest Craigslist date

uncomfortable date

Last night I went on a date with a Puerto Rican man I met through the casual encounters section of Craigslist.  I had posted an ad saying I was looking for a man who really knew his way around the bedroom and a woman’s body and he was one of the first responders that seemed attractive so I agreed. 

The first picture he sent me had sunglasses on.  He looked cute enough but I wasn’t sure so I requested one where I could see his eyes.  I hate it when guys use pics that don’t show their eyes.  He obliged and from the pic he looked pretty hot! 

I said I preferred to meet first in public to make sure we were both who we said we were, so he offered to take me out to dinner.  Good deal and he seemed really nice.  There was no mention of sex, but I was kind of assuming that was in the cards if things worked out, considering the nature of my ad and that it was in the NSA section of Craigslist, lol.

From the discussion we had beforehand he sounded like a pretty good guy.  He is 38, military and just moved here from Alaska for a job where he supervises men on the shooting range.  He has a degree in Graphic Arts with a concentration on social sciences and small business administration.  Previously, he was stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq and says this is kind of a “break” for him.  All this made him sound reasonably decent and normal so I was looking forward to meeting.

A lot of other men responded to my ad and I wasn’t interested in most of them, but there were a couple more I kind of liked.  One in particular, who was trying to get me to drop my date and come see him instead, but I didn’t want to be disrespectful so I told him maybe at a later time.  Eventually my ad was flagged and taken down, as usual.  There were also a couple of men from the swinger site who were going to be in town and one even emailed me during and after the date wanting me to meet him at his hotel room but I wasn’t so sure about that one anyway and didn’t respond.  By the time I got his messages I was already on my way to pick up the kids.

Anyhow, Mr. Puerto Rican seemed dependable and sure enough he showed up when he said he would, riding into town on his motorcycle.  He lives where there is a military base, about an hour and a half away.  Actually, my fuck buddy is there too and maybe the bulk of the more attractive men in this area.  Us ladies can always count on military bases for an influx of fresh meat. 😉 The ex-cop came from that direction as well.

Like a lot of guys, he wanted ME to pick the restaurant.  Understandable, since he hasn’t been to this town in over a decade, but I hate it when men want me to choose.  It’s like, he’s paying and I don’t want to pick anything out of his price range, so I don’t know what to say.  I know restaurants that I would love to dine in but it would make me feel bad if he spent tons of money and I ended up not wanting to have sex. 

I wasn’t sure so he suggested we meet downtown.  A lot of the restaurants there are pretty pricy and I kept thinking of this really nice Italian place where the Prof dropped about $75 on me for our first date, but I wasn’t about to suggest that, and honestly thinking of him just hurts right now.  Even anything close to there would remind me of him. 

My indecisiveness caused him to say he’d be waiting for me at a gas station and he gave me the address so I drove there in my super cool minivan (ha) and pulled up next to his bike (which actually is pretty nice).  I smiled and waved and got out and talked to him for a few.  He was wearing sunglasses and I had to ask him to take them off again so I could see him better.

He looked like his picture.  His face was attractive but not as attractive as I’d imagined in my head.  He was clearly built and muscular, though he was wearing a leather jacket and it was like 80 degrees.  The thing that got to me was his VOICE.  It wasn’t the Puerto Rican accent, though he did have one, but the nasally sound of it.  Almost like one of those cartoonish depictions of a Mexican, lol. Visions of Cheech and Chong in Up in Smoke danced in my head.  I could almost hear him say “hey man, am I driving okay? Man, I think we’re parked!”  He didn’t say “man” though, haha.

He stood at about 5’8”, which is the same height as a lot of the guys I’ve slept with/dated, including the guy I had the affair with, my fwb, my fuck buddy, the Professor.  However, I was in a sundress and heels (I think they are about 4 inches) and felt unnecessarily tall.  I think I was just getting that “vibe” from him that he didn’t like it.  My fuck buddy is like that too, when I wore heels on a date the minute we got to the hotel room he was like “take those damn things off” because he didn’t like me being too tall.  I’m only 5’6” but lately a lot of people have been making me feel too tall.  WTF?  Sure enough, he later commented on my height, saying he was expecting me to be shorter.  Sigh….

Anyhow, I suggested maybe we get Mexican food, but he wasn’t down with that.  He said Puerto Ricans hate Mexican food and spicy stuff.  Okay then, Applebees?  LOL  He agreed and said he would follow me there. 

Unfortunately, though the drive would normally have been about 5 minutes, it ended up being much longer because we got stuck in the middle of some kind of parade/car show.  Meanwhile I’m kind of watching him follow behind me on the motorcycle and trying to decide if there was any chemistry between us.  I wasn’t really feeling it.

FINALLY we arrived and since it’s in the middle of this little show going on it was PACKED but we managed to get a seat fairly quickly.  The waitress arrived and he was complaining to her about them not having drinks large enough for him.  He didn’t order any alcohol but I got a mango margarita and some margarita lime chicken and he got himself one of these triple appetizer plates PLUS a full meal that he proceeded to scarf down.  By now he’s taken off the jacket and his shirt is covered with spots of sweat.  I can vaguely smell it from across the table.

He spent almost the entire time talking about himself.  I didn’t get much of a word in edgewise so he later decided I was “shy”.  Dammit.  Clearly I’m coming across this way to guys lately, but it’s really not the case.  I guess I’m situationally shy sometimes but mostly I was just listening to him and asking occasional questions.

During the course of the conversation it came out that he is MARRIED.  He is married to a 22 year old Russian woman who is trying to get her green card and he says after another year, when she gets it, they will divorce.  Meanwhile he says she spends all his money on purses and shoes and doesn’t do anything and that he feels he is a good guy for not making her work like a slave, as other men would do.  :::Blink, blink:::::  He goes on to tell me how he could be beating her and stuff but he doesn’t.  Gee, how thoughtful and kind of him.  Then he goes into detail about the amount of extra money he gets from the military for having a wife. 

Also, he mentions how aggressive he was/is growing up and how women always told him he is “crazy”.  Gee, that’s encouraging me to want to sleep with him…not!  He adds that he got his first wife put in jail.  Later he says it’s because she attacked him out of jealousy and went after him with a gun.  He said she was holding it up against him and he was holding her back and unloading the gun with his other hand while bullets were dropping all over the floor, then she chased him to his car and he ran out there half naked and she was beating on him and another guy came out there with a gun pointing it at him thinking it was his fault and the police showed up.  Nice story for a first date.

Oh yeah, and he told me his “secret” for when women attack him.  He says he just grabs their purse and throws it out a window or door because women care so much about their makeup and stuff that they will run after the purse rather than attack him and then he has the upper hand and can lock them out or whatever.  According to him this “always” works, as apparently he has needed this technique frequently.

He talks about how he grew up Catholic and was supposed to be a priest but that didn’t happen due to everyone saying he was too aggressive and violent.  He tells me women love violent and aggressive men that beat them and he thinks the secret is that they are good behind closed doors ::: wink, wink:::  Some comments are thrown in about how all “Hispanics” run their own “business” and he does that too.  It sounded like he was alluding to drug deals, though he didn’t outright say it.

He went on to describe his secrets for picking up women in areas like this.  Pretending to need help with things like square dancing lessons and country line dancing because they LOVE it when you try to dance like them, but he really doesn’t care for country music.  Bahahaha….  Offhandedly, he mentions that all men are secretly “evil”.  He says there really are no good men in the world, that if you put them behind closed doors they would all do bad things and sleep with underage girls.  I hadn’t brought up the topic, he did it all on his own, lol, so I asked if women were the same way, secretly “evil” and he said no. Damn.  He did say though that usually we are bipolar.  That is why women attack guys all the time.

Given his philosophies on life he was strangely non-sexual.  I was quite relieved that he didn’t try anything on me, though also surprised.  Maybe he just wanted my feminine company, a listening ear?  Or maybe he wasn’t attracted to me?  WTF?  Am I that bad?  Sheesh.

Afterwards, he suggested we watch the parade for a bit and talk. At some point an 11-12 year old girl came up and wanted him to take a picture of her with his motorcycle and he obliged and was friendly.  He asked me what I thought about him and at first I kind of shrugged and said IDK, and he was like really?   Anyway, I thanked him for dinner and said I needed to get my kids and he gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving.  He asked when I am available and said maybe we could meet another time. He later texted that he’d had a good time and thank you!

It kind of reminded me of the guy who gave me the flowers and showed virtually no sexual intent but now and then hits me up again saying he likes me.  HE actually texted me during the date asking if I was free and I didn’t respond until afterwards but he didn’t try and meet then.  I don’t get it.

It’s killing me that I’m having such dry luck and the Prof is off having the time of his life when he’s the one that hurt me in the first place.  Yes I did sleep with a couple of guys since then, but nothing worth continuing.  Ugh.  I think I wanted him to know he hurt me because I deliberately went and looked at his profile this morning and made it where he can see that I did.  I have no intention of talking to him further, just wanted to make it clear that I saw. 

It was probably dumb and maybe now he’s gloating over that fact, but if he cared at all I’d hope he’d also have some guilt.  I would have felt kinda bad if the Jamaican guy had verified me on the site and he saw that, even though I view the breakup as more his fault.  Part of me might have been feeling vindicated but I also would never want to hurt someone that I loved and cared about.  He’s a guy though so probably just wanting to drive the knife in deeper, or reveling in the fact that he outdid me.  I don’t know. 

I know I should leave it and him alone, and that doing otherwise probably makes me look desperate and pathetic.  So I’m not planning on looking any more.  I may even avoid the site altogether after today.  Just had to do that one little thing.  Maybe reach out enough that if there is anything left or any chance I will hear from him again, he will let me know.  I doubt it, but will see.  :/  I just checked though after writing this and he did look back at mine.

It’s not that there aren’t other men in the world and I don’t know that eventually I could find a great one, it’s that I really still have feelings for him.  I thought we had a really good thing and I wanted it to work out so badly.  Why does it have to be so hard? :/

Multiple Valentines, Django, 70’s porn and great sex

men-fight-over-woman

I woke up Valentine’s Day morning to a text from the Married Man wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day and asking if I was naked. Clearly, he wanted pictures, which gave me a silly idea, lol. So I took a picture of my naked ass and said “here’s an upside down heart for you”. He liked that and of course wanted more. First though, I had to send a copy of my inverted Valentine to the rest of the guys on my list. I’m telling you, I’m a real romantic ;).

Now by “the rest of the guys” I only mean the other 4 that I’ve got on call for occasional sex, no matter how “occasional” some of them are. That means, the Professor, my fuck buddy, my fwb, and the guy I had the affair with. They are all privy to occasional naughty photos. I do have an exhibitionist streak, after all, that needs an outlet! In any case it started with that picture and got just a tad bit naughtier afterwards. 😉

I just loved their reactions. The married man, soon after, inquired whether or not I’d be willing to join him and his wife for a threesome. Now THAT sounded interesting! If there were someone I were going to have a threesome with he’d probably be my first choice. He’s good enough in bed, I am quite sure, for at LEAST two women at once, even if we weren’t touching each other. Hell, he’s probably good enough for 10 of us! LOL I AM NOT KIDDING!! He says he’s had a lot of FMF threesomes already and seriously, he’s like the Superman of Sex Gods.

What’s fascinating to me is that he seems to feel the same way about me! I have no idea why and can only attribute it to “chemistry”. I don’t feel like I do anything special in bed. Hell, I’m happy to let the guy do the vast majority of the work during sex so it always bewilders me when they tell me how “good” I am. Not that I mind that, just makes me wonder what I am good at, besides giving blow jobs. Laying there having orgasms? Haha… Don’t you know that’s what I specialize in? LMAO

The other day, he had actually asked me if I’d be willing to give up the Professor for him. What? LOL It was random since we haven’t seen each other for a while and I didn’t directly answer his question. I was like “is that what you want?” and he said he wanted me all to himself. I asked how come and his exact words were “I have had my share but I have never been with anyone and felt the way I do with you. Hell, I wanted to get you pregnant”. Yikes! LOL He actually did say all that when we were having sex, offered to let my kids and I live in his extra house rent free and said he would pay me 3,000 a month if I would have his baby and only sleep with him. Crazy! Though I admit it sounded terribly tempting for a while to this broke single mom! I didn’t know whether to take him seriously at the time but apparently he’s still thinking along those lines. WOW. I mean on one hand it would be like a dream come true but there are just so many ways it could fall through.

Anyhow, I’m not emotionally attached to him and I also don’t feel any jealousy towards his wife. I just don’t. She’s very pretty but she is his WIFE and I do respect that enough that it wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t feel like I were getting as much attention during a threesome. I got to thinking about it all and was like yeah, that actually would be kind of ideal. Hmmm…that could be fun!

Of course, I don’t think he’d actually bothered to ask HER what her opinion was on this, haha. I was like “what does your wife think about that??” She did, after all, catch him sexting with me once and he had warned me not to answer my phone for any calls from his area code. He said he’d have to get back with me on that and I guess she either said no or he didn’t ask because he told me later it wasn’t probably going to happen this weekend. I was wondering about that anyway, I mean, Valentine’s Day? Would he really ask her such a thing on that day? Of all the days of the year? Men….smdh… So I wasn’t too terribly disappointed or anything, but it was an interesting request.

My fuck buddy was a sweetheart. He asked me who my Valentine was and I said I didn’t really have one and he was like “me neither” but we flirted a bit over text. Not too much though. Kinda felt like I was neglecting him but I couldn’t have met up with him anyway. Most of my day was actually spent celebrating with my kids.

The fwb and guy I had the affair with both said they missed me and want to meet up again soon. Awwww… Especially the guy I had the affair with, I’m not really sure what has happened with us. I guess we both just lost interest in keeping up with the day to day stuff with one another and rarely talk anymore. The last time we had sex wasn’t even that great. Still, on some level I do still miss him and he says he misses me A LOT and wants to see me again.

It’s interesting. Our relationship seems like it has been a back and forth power grab in a lot of ways, with one or the other of us always being the one that was more invested than the other. When I started seeing the Professor I think I just lost the will to play that game with him anymore. Still, we’ve known each other since we were young and there are things that we understand about each other that no one else seems to get. I doubt I’d ever toss him out for good and I’m pretty sure he feels the same about me, even if it’s something we’d pick up again 10 years down the road. You just never know!

The Professor, for Valentine’s Day, dropped off a heart shaped box of chocolates on my doorstep. Not a huge or especially thought out gift, but it was something. I guess the point was to show he cared and not send out the wrong message at the same time and I think in that he did a pretty good job. I was happy anyway. I also had a box of chocolates for him so I later brought that by his place along with dinner. I had made steak, baked potatoes and Caesar salad for the kids and I and thought it would be nice to give him some too. He seemed pretty appreciative and excited about that anyway! 🙂

Anyhow, I was more flattered that he took me out on a date and to a movie last night, than about Valentine’s day, when obviously everyone feels obligated. Last night he took me to see Django. That might be on the list of top movies not to take your interracial date to, but hey, we had fun. Haha… I’m playing, it was a thought provoking movie. Mostly in the sense that I feel I need to check up on the historical accuracy of some of the stuff I saw in the film because some of it was really disturbing.

Django-Unchained-character-posters

It’s always horrible to be confronted with the capability some folks throughout history have had for treating other human beings in such an inhumane fashion. I think some would say it was much WORSE than the film portrayed and others would question the validity of some of the practices shown. In any case there were some scenes that could cause me nightmares. I was covering my face through some of it and the Professor was even doing it for me at one point and said he’d tell me when it was okay to look, lol. Not quite the “date” kind of thriller but hey, I was holding onto him for sure.

Don’t get me wrong there were lighthearted and funny moments too. At some parts, the Professor said he was afraid to laugh too loud, lol, but I totally get it. I am used to some inappropriate joking about stuff like that. Heck my baby brother, who is biracial, loves to make jokes directed at “white people” towards me. Like we’d be sitting there flipping channels on the tv and Mississippi Burning would come on and he’d be like “Look Lovergirl! It’s your favorite movie!” and I’d pretend to get all excited and cheer them on (and it would end up in a pillow fight). Soooo irreverent, but sometimes making jokes out of totally awful stuff does make it seem a little easier to take and we need a little reprieve from the cruelty of human nature. I think the film itself, whether it was historically accurate or not aside, was well acted and definitely kept your attention. It was almost 3 hours and I’m not a person that can normally sit through an entire movie like that.

Some of the musical choices were interesting too and at one point the Professor was like “this sounds straight out of a 70’s porn”. So of course, after he took me out to a late night diner for a treat after the movie, we went home to his place to look at 70’s porn and “listen to the music” haha. I guess you need some sort of diversion before having sex after watching something like that!

We watched some 70’s porn then decided to have a little fun ourselves in his bedroom. Mmmm… I can never get enough of sex with him. It’s just SO GOOD! He’s much more of a romantic love-maker than a rough type but I LOVE it! He’s perfect!! He makes me cum again and again and again. It’s just so intimate and he is very creative. I never know what to expect next. Plus, his voice, the things he says to me in bed really turn me on like crazy. He always cums really hard and he’s amazing afterwards and loves to cuddle and be all close with me. Like the perfect man!! LOL I mean it!! I love being in his bedroom…

Really, the more I get to know him the more I really like him. Did I mention he sings?? OMG, I am a total sucker for a man who can sing. I love a sexy voice. Just LOVE it. He used to sing in show choir as a kid and I love listening to him belt out a song. He’s only recently started singing for me. 🙂 ::: SWOON :::

The Professor is also a giver, in and out of the bedroom and it’s rare to come across a guy like that who is not a pushover. I’m really the same way so it’s nice to be with someone who reciprocates. We may have occasional issues with the polyamory stuff but I am glad overall, that we are doing this and hopefully can get better at sharing, lol. I like the excitement of it all but at the same time it’s so hard not to want him all to myself. I’m trying to remind myself of the wisdom of simply letting the relationship be what it is and not trying to demand more. It really is great AS IS and if I can let go of worrying when he is with another woman or that he will abandon me things would go much more smoothly. I think the same can be said of him because on one hand he wants to have freedom but it’s also hard for him to share ME. It can be so hard to let go of those hardwired monogamy ideals, but until next time…wish me luck! 🙂

Pressure on dates…. ugghhh

bad-date

Last night I went out with a new guy. He was someone I met off the swinger site. He had like 60 validations and from his pictures he was hot, hot, hot!! The only face pictures I saw were not straight on. Like he was looking down or had the camera slightly in front of him but from what I could see he was good looking. He was really muscular and had a set of six pack abs. His cock was….gigantic. Maybe on the level of “too big” that I mentioned in the previous post about Big Black Men. I wasn’t too concerned about that though and I never asked him his actual measurements.

In any case he lives 3 hours away so I was a bit surprised that he had emailed me. I responded once and then had forgotten about him until the Professor had gone to a swinger party in another town and I had ended up here alone after not finding any sufficient men off Craigslist. It was then that I emailed him back and we got to texting. He seemed pretty cool, other than an annoying habit of calling me “babe” and sounding a bit full of himself.

Still I figured if we were to meet he would probably be someone I’d sleep with. When I asked him about the distance between us he claimed it was no big deal and he travels frequently. He didn’t mind driving up here to meet me and said he was looking for a “swinging partner” to join him at parties. I kinda let him know that I had that already but he wasn’t deterred.

Anyway, I again forgot about him for a bit, until he texted early in the week to let me know he would be coming through my town on his way to a big city a few hours away. So we agreed to meet up. We flirted a little over text and he asked for more pics of me but I didn’t send him any.

I told the Professor I was going out on a date, which was kind of hard but he didn’t say a whole lot. I asked if he was cool with it and he said “It doesn’t matter. I am sick anyway and you are free to do what you want”. Not really encouraging and I felt bad that it was when he was sick but I went out anyway. I still don’t feel like we have completely worked things out from the other day. Nevertheless I still care for him and think I want to keep seeing him. I asked if he had slept with anyone without telling me and got a very adamant NO!!!!

So, onto my date. At first he had tried to squiggle out of taking me out beforehand and wanted to come straight to my place. I wasn’t having it. There is no way of telling if he would be a creepy stalker type or if I even want to have sex with someone without meeting them in public first. Being at my house is just too much pressure on me if I decide I DON’T want to and guys can really lay that pressure on thick. Plus he’d know where I live. One of the guys I slept with once last year STILL freaking harasses me and I am SO GLAD he doesn’t know where my house is. He tries to make me feel guilty for not wanting to see him again when actually the first night I did because I was under a lot of pressure and he basically ripped my clothes off and just started licking me. Then he was holding me down and not letting me get up to leave when I wanted to. I have had other experiences before where I ended up sleeping with someone I really wasn’t that excited about because I felt obligated and just in case I wanted a chance to assess things in a public setting.

I was an hour and a half later than I expected for meeting him. I felt bad but had to run my kids to their dads and come back which took about an hour and then was trying to clean up around the house before having anyone over. That’s another reason I don’t really like to have guys over at MY place. I have kids and there is always some cleaning up to do after they leave and it interferes with me trying to get ready to go out. Like, who wants to be cleaning the toilet and sweeping right before a date and right after showering? UGGH. It’s not putting me in a sexy mood, lol, and I start feeling resentful like can’t this guy just get a hotel or something and here he is wanting me to hurry and get there. Don’t worry, I kept him updated as to when I was coming and I had TOLD him beforehand that it was just an estimate as far as the time, but he did have to wait awhile.

What kills me is that later he claimed he was getting a hotel here in town because he wasn’t planning on driving straight through due to it being late. WTF? Then why the hell didn’t he get a hotel BEFORE the date and spare me all the extra cleaning (I had told him that is what I had to do). Why did he need to come to my house? SMFH Driving my kids to their Dad’s house is annoying to me too. It’s way out of my way and costs a lot of gas money. His vehicle isn’t working and I feel like in some ways he is deliberately sabotaging things for me. He’s passive aggressive like that. He keeps making our lives more and more difficult and I think it’s a continuation of the emotional abuse that went on in our marriage.

So I’m not in the best mood but I got myself together and all fixed up and headed to the sports bar where we were meeting. It was packed and he was sitting just inside the door. He doesn’t look nearly as attractive face to face as he did in the pictures. He’s still a decent looking guy but there is just something I don’t like and can’t put a finger on it. I smell something that smells vaguely like, well…. shit, lol, but I don’t know where it is coming from because there are a lot of people there around him. I notice his teeth are a bit messed up in the front. Apparently he was careful to hide that in the pictures.

He hugs me and says that maybe we should just leave or go someplace else since it is so crowded. I sense that he is trying to get out of buying me a drink, which is a turn off too. I suggest maybe we should just sit at the bar and he agrees. We order our drinks and the guy cards us, so I whip out my ID (it cracks me up to get carded when I’m only 4 years away from 40 but whatever, lol, it happens every time I go out). However, he doesn’t have his ID and has to go back out to the car. He takes a long time and I start to wonder if I’ve been ditched but chat a bit with the bartender (who is a cute, kinda hot blonde guy). He apologizes for carding us but says he has to. I start to wonder about the guy I am with and how old he actually is. He does look kinda younger than I expected and I can’t remember what he told me before.

So finally the guy comes back and has his ID. I ask him how old he is and he states 26. Yeah, that is a little on the young side for me. I’ve never really been a cougar and my one experience with a 22 year old made me feel awkward even though he was handsome and nice and okay in bed. It just felt weird and I couldn’t do it again even though he wanted me to. Generally, I Iike men my age or older, though a few years younger is okay. My fuck buddy just turned 29.

I think I smell that smell again and I am almost sure it is coming from him. Gross. I’m starting to think I definitely don’t want to do this. However, we talk for a bit and he is nice. He is in college and majoring in Psychology, which is what I got my degree in. He works in a group home which I have also done in the past. He’s nice but I’m still not feeling the connection. Something about the look in his eyes, I just don’t feel it…and the smell. He’s not bad looking or anything, but not what I expected and while he looks muscular it’s not nearly so much as he seemed in the pictures. He’s very tall though and says 6 foot 3.

When the bartender asks if I want another drink I say no, thinking I don’t want him to have to pay too much since I am not really feeling him. He says come on have another one and tells the bartender to get me another Mojito anyway.

After our drinks he pays and we head outside. He asks if I want to head back to my place and I say I’m really not sure that I do. He says oh, you are nervous huh and says he will walk me to my car and we can talk a bit. So we are standing by my van and he keeps saying I must be nervous. He tries to kiss me and I kind of pull away. He keeps talking about how nervous I am and I tell him I’m just not feeling much chemistry and not sure I want to do this.

He keeps telling me it is because I am nervous and says I will change my mind once we get back to my house. I say I don’t know that I want to go back to my house and he says I am just nervous and we should sit and talk in my van for a bit. I reluctantly agree and he gets inside. He tries to kiss me again and yeah there is a faint smell of crap. Yuck! Did he step in dog poo or is he unwashed or what? Ewwwww…. I pull away and say I am not ready for this. So he starts trying to put his hand between my legs. I push him away and say I really just don’t know if I want to do this.

He starts asking me if I have ever brought a guy back to my house the first time we met from the site and I say no, which is true but I have done so from other sites. Still I don’t want to encourage him. So he goes on about how I am just nervous and will change my mind once we are in a different setting. I say I really don’t think I will so he launches into an argument about how this is the “perfect time” and we have “a great opportunity” to do this. I tell him repeatedly that I don’t feel the chemistry with him and also he is younger than I expected (I later looked at his profile again and it says he is 110). He keeps saying he thinks I am hiding something that I will end up telling him later. So when that doesn’t work I use the Professor as an excuse and say I am in a bit of an open relationship but I don’t want to hurt him too much by sleeping with just anyone unless I am really feeling the chemistry.

Over and over he keeps trying to convince me (by arguing, totally unsexy) that this is our opportunity and that if I don’t do it now I will regret it later and be texting him and wanting to meet again to feel the chemistry. He says he is not good at conveying chemistry till we get to the bedroom. I tell him again that I don’t feel it now and don’t think that will change and don’t want to go back to my house. He asks what it is about him that I don’t like and was like “you liked my pictures, didn’t you??” I said it’s not anything about his looks and that we had a nice conversation earlier but I’m just not feeling him. He kept demanding I be more specific as to why I didn’t like him. I wasn’t gonna say “you smell like dogshit” but also I didn’t feel it with him at all so kept focusing on that. He didn’t like my vague reasoning, but what was I supposed to say?

He starts to get a little angry and I tell him I feel too pressured. So he asks if it’s because I am afraid he is going to have a one night stand with me and never talk to me again. I say no. (Oh, Hell no, more like I am afraid he would become clingy, needy, annoying as hell and turn into a stalker like a couple of guys I have slept with once in the past). This went round and round and round with him trying to argue and me trying to get rid of him for OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF. A couple times he tried to kiss me again and tried to rub my clit over my pants. I pulled away and told him I just didn’t want to do this and that he was pressuring me and he said he wasn’t going to force me to do this but that it was a “perfect opportunity”. Sigh…guilt trip after guilt trip.

One of my children called me on the phone (thank God) and I said I need to go pick them up. He acted angry that I wasted all this time being “unsure” when we could have been doing other things and said he would like to meet me again on Sunday when he comes back through and maybe then I would feel the chemistry. He asked where we were going to go from here and whether I would want to talk to him again. I said “I wouldn’t waste your time” and he said “oh but it’s not a waste of my time at ALL, you are gorgeous”. Repeat about 5 times. No, I am not feeling it, DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME. I am sorry this isn’t going to work.

He acted like I was breaking up with him or something and looked like he was about ready to cry. I felt bad but I just didn’t want to have sex with him. He blamed me that he was too tired to drive through to the other city but he had known beforehand it was going to be late when he left. I said he still had plenty of time and he said no he had been planning to get a hotel and stay here because it was too long of a drive. He knew darn well I wasn’t gonna have him stay at my place because I was due to get my kids. At least he should have known that. No way a strange man is sleeping at my place with my kids there.

FINALLY, he gets out of the van, slams the door like he is angry and looks like he wants to cry. I feel bad but I just had NO DESIRE to sleep with the man. This is why I HATE going on dates with new people. You just don’t know for sure if you are going to like them and guys cannot take it when you say no. UGH, UGH, UGH!!! I wanted him to leave so badly but he just wasn’t accepting it. I don’t know how I could have been any more clear other than to say “GET THE FUCK OUT” which is not something I am comfortable saying. I am way too polite for that and hate to hurt people.

I thought the Professor would be glad I didn’t sleep with the guy but when I told him the short version of the story (that this guy had spent an hour and a half trying to argue me into sleeping with him) he was like “well, what do you expect, you met him on a sex site!!” I asked if he felt that meant I was obligated to have sex with him and he said no but that is what guys are going to think. Surely they have to understand that it may not work out in person just because you liked them online though!! How hard is that to comprehend? I did not make him drive to my city, he was supposedly coming through anyhow. I don’t like this kind of pressure at ALL and truth be known I am pretty darn picky. It makes me DREAD meeting new people in the future and possibly having to go through all this again.

Just because someone’s pictures look good does not mean in person they will be what you thought. I have come across that more than once and was bound and determined NOT to have sex with anyone I didn’t feel completely comfortable with and turned on by, from a sex site or anywhere else! How the hell would I be turned on enough to have sex after an hour of him trying to ARGUE with me and debate and convince anyway? He was NOT doing anything to make me excited to sleep with him. I definitely need a little bit of that from a guy to be attracted. I do feel bad that his time was wasted but I don’t owe him sex. I’m actually proud of myself for standing by my guns and saying NO despite all the pressure. I can’t believe the Professor didn’t get that. MEN. Sheesh….