Tag Archive | bedroom skills

Cum on!!!

orgasm

So I was reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Not So Sex in the City, where she talks about her frustration in not being able to make this guy cum from a blowjob.

http://notsosexinthecity.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/the-art-of-blowjobs/

It kind of got the wheels spinning in my head because until last year I was one of those women who just couldn’t seem to cum with a man, not from oral, not from sex, not even in their presence. Though, Lord knows I was having plenty of orgasms on my own. Heck, I’d been having orgasms by myself since I was like 8 years old.

It’s not that I didn’t WANT to cum with men because I did! I very much wanted that experience and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. It’s also not that I didn’t enjoy the sex because I very much DID. I enjoyed sex a LOT and didn’t think it was important that I have an orgasm during because I loved it so much anyway.

Thankfully, the majority of the men I had sex with didn’t seem too bothered that I wasn’t having orgasms. Perhaps they couldn’t even tell and many seemed to think I was great in bed. I made plenty of noise because I WAS having a good time. It wasn’t fake but when it came to an actual orgasm, I always seemed to be just on the edge, even with guys who I’d say were pretty darn good in bed.

Now I’m not gonna say I’ve NEVER faked an orgasm, because I have, though in recent years I’ve refused to. Now that I’m older and wiser I know better than to send a false message to a guy and let him think he’s getting me off when he isn’t. I don’t want to ruin the possibility that he may actually be able to do it for me for REAL in the future or turn him into a bad lover for the next woman.

I was so frustrated though! Frustrated that those fantasies of orgasms during sex seemed to be just that, a fantasy, and so out of reach. I wondered if women ever really did cum from vaginal sex and had my doubts, thinking that was probably a myth. I wondered if I would ever be able to cum from oral from another person.

I had vague memories of small orgasms when I was very young that came from another girl and I rubbing on each other as well and that fueled my belief that pressure on the clit was the only way. I’d heard and read things from men online claiming they had made a woman cum vaginally 30 times in an hour or something and thought that was complete bullshit and the women were faking it. How could that even be possible? I was convinced they were full of shit. The women who made those claims? Please they must be making that up! How could that even be possible? One orgasm with my toy and I was pretty much spent, at least for several minutes.

A lot of my fantasies actually involved other women, because I was so fixated on the idea that I was only capable of clitoral orgasms and it seemed that men just never knew well enough what to do and wouldn’t stay down there long enough to make it happen. Sure, some of them got me to the brink but then would disappoint by failing to “finish” me in that manner, probably due to eagerness to get their dick inside me. Not that I minded that at all, and I was generally chomping at the bit to get to fucking too, but it still remained a secret fantasy.

Part of the problem may have been that my first orgasms were using a shower massager and subsequently that was how a lot of my masturbation sessions went. I was very addicted to the warm, wet feeling of rushing water against my clit. Water that probably was much stronger than a tongue could ever be. I can even remember cumming at the public swimming pool when I was younger from leaning up against the water jets on the side. It just felt SO GOOD.

Though there were times I fingered myself or used objects inserted in my pussy when I was very turned on, I never was able to use them to the point of orgasm and always had to finish with water on my clit if I was going to cum. So that became my routine. While I fantasized about trying sex toys, I never was able to get my hands on one. My ex- husband was very against vibrators or sex aids of any kind so there was no way I could have gotten away with hiding one inside the house. Still there were many times I used a hairbrush handle or other device along with running water for double the pleasure. Hey, you gotta make do! LOL

It wasn’t until after my divorce that I finally invested in a sex toy. I didn’t have a shower massager in my house and while I could make myself cum still with running water it took a lot more effort. Not to mention that even the shower massager had gotten to the point where it was seemingly taking forever. I think by “forever” it was something like 20 minutes and by then the water was getting cold and that was with the massager, without it took a lot longer. Anyway, I was eager to try something new.

OH. MY. GOD. I loved that thing! Still do!! I got a Wet Turtle Vibrator from Adam and Eve (kind of like a rabbit, but with a single nub instead of “ears”) that I came so hard with, and in about 30 seconds the first time, ha! It was WONDERFUL!! I was so in love! Mmmmm…. I wore the dang thing out after about six months and had to get a new one. I have two now, just in case.

Here’s a pic of what mine looks like 😉 wetturtle

I tried a few other toys but they just didn’t do it for me. I mean, I could cum eventually but it was like eons later. One was a bigger rabbit style toy with ears that kinda hurt, another was a butterfly style thing that you strapped on like panties and wore and were supposed to be able to use with a partner and the last was some cheap piece of crap thing that was about half the size of my current toy with less than half the power. Didn’t do much but get me irritable because I couldn’t cum. Boo….

Anyway, I got used to my new toy and the feeling of something inside me during my orgasm and admittedly liked that even better than the hairbrush/water combo, lol. Some of those hairbrush handles are pretty nice nowadays too. 😉 Still, eventually, it got to where even THAT took a long time. Don’t get me wrong, there were/are times when I can still cum with it in under 5 minutes but most times we are looking at anywhere from 15-40.

Still, I was feeling more and more helpless and hopeless as far as a real man being able to make me orgasm. I thought about trying with a woman but hadn’t gone there just yet either, I suppose due to fear. I wondered if it would ever happen. Guys I’d never met told me that the other guys just weren’t doing it right, but I wasn’t so sure I believed them. The majority of the guys I have been with in my life were pretty experienced actually.

When my current FWB pulled me aside the morning after we’d had sex for the first time to discuss my lack of orgasming with him I was mortified. HE was more upset with HIMSELF for not making it happen but to me it was a humiliation. I felt like a total failure and didn’t know what to say when he asked what he could do differently. I wanted to crawl through the floor! He had pulled me on his lap on the couch and said he had a lot of fun but wanted to know what he could do and I didn’t know what to tell him! I was so embarrassed that I was unable to please him in that way. I felt awful and was afraid he’d never want to see me again because of it.

Fortunately he still did and months later, after several times of sleeping with him but no orgasms on my part, he did manage to make me cum. It was right before Valentine’s day and he was getting ready to leave the country for several months. I came right as he did (inside the condom inside me) and it felt great but it wasn’t a loud screaming type of orgasm. Still I could feel the unmistakable contractions that were just like when I came by myself in the shower or with my toy. He didn’t even know until I mentioned it later but he was happy to hear it. I was surprised, but pleased because now I knew it was a real possibility. Yay!! 🙂

Shortly after, I met my married man, off Craigslist, and well, here’s a bit of the story here: It’s a Small World After All

Mmmmmm…. He was and is SO INCREDIBLE!! I must have cum 50 times that night!! Then there was that time he used my toy on me while he went down on me and I just came over and over and over for like 20 minutes straight. I’ve cum with a few guys since then. The Professor (my current favorite) and my fuck buddy are both able to get me there regularly. I also came with the guy I mention in my first swinger party post that I did on a trailhead at a local walkway, even though I didn’t like him as much and also with a Hispanic guy that got me there with his fingers, maybe even some others but that’s all I know for sure right now. Still, I’m thrilled!! And yes the FWB has managed to do it again a couple of times as well. 😉

I’ve had to ask myself what has changed for me since before and I can come (pardon the pun, heh) up with several reasons it might be easier for me now.

1. I have RELAXED. I don’t feel “pressured” to cum for guys now or like it’s all on me.

2. I’ve stopped worrying as much about getting the GUY off and have become more selfish in bed. That might seem counterintuitive but it’s been key in me being able to obtain orgasms, which ultimately makes men happier with me.

3. I’ve come to realize that I’m really much happier being submissive in bed and there is no reason to pretend to be someone I’m not. Guys may talk shit about women who “just lay there” in bed but in reality that is what is going to make him into the super lover that he wants to be, at least with me! Allowing him to have control is definitely a big part of me losing mine. Nowadays I screen for men who LIKE to be dominant in bed. It makes a huge difference to me because I don’t want to be the one in control.

4. Getting older? I don’t know if it’s just the wisdom that comes with age or if there is more to it than that but the Professor says a lot of women he knows weren’t able to orgasm with men until they were in their 30’s. That’s one of the reasons he says he prefers older women too. By then we “know what we want” more. He has also theorized that it has something to do with physical changes in the walls of your vagina where you feel differently, but I don’t know if that’s the case or not. Still a possibility!

5. Men get more skilled as they get older and gain more experience and nowadays I’m meeting more skilled men than in the past.

6. My body got more used to cumming in a different way with a toy rather than always in the shower. I think this did change some things because nowadays it takes me a lot longer with the shower massager than with a toy. So I may have retrained my body not to need that.

7. Something about finally cumming the first time vaginally and then that experience with the married man set me off or let my body loose to experience what I was holding back on before without realizing it. I was always just teetering on the brink but couldn’t get there and now I don’t have that hump to cross.

Whatever it is, I am happy!! LOL The married man started me off making me cum with oral for the first time, over and over and he is still the only one who has been able to do that. Yet, now I can cum vaginally with or without oral beforehand and of course I still enjoy both to the full.

As for making a guy cum with a blowjob, for those who say they never can, I suspect their hangups are sometimes similar to mine in that if they feel a lot of pressure it’s not as likely to happen. The Professor is one of these men who “can’t” cum with a blowjob and says he never has before as well. I’ve thought inwardly that I would like to change that for him but I haven’t put in the real effort to make it happen just yet. I do give him blowjobs but it’s generally a prelude to sex or a break during. He does cum in my mouth quite often, which I enjoy, but he pulls out at the end when he feels he is going to orgasm and I suck him off from there. We don’t use condoms so it’s a nice way to finish with less risk of pregnancy.

There was one time when I had offered to come over and give him just a blowjob (when I was on my period) and he ended up seeing that married woman instead and I got my feelings hurt. He made some comment about how that “wasn’t enough” and he would want to have sex. I admit that has turned me off a bit towards making it happen. That and he takes a REALLY LONG TIME to cum during sex, which is fabulous for making ME cum but the thought of giving an hour and a half blowjob IS a tad daunting, lol.

Still I would like to try, I just don’t want him to feel that he HAS to please me that way or I know it will make it harder (cumming, not his cock, lol, that’s always hard with me 😉 ). I’ve got this theory that the people that have a hard time orgasming are often GIVERS in the bedroom. It’s how I USED to see things. I used to feel like I needed to be the one making HIM happy and go out of my way to please. Since I stopped doing as much and focusing more just on receiving and relaxing it has gone much better.

The Professor is very much a giver in the bedroom and he succeeds in giving me orgasms over and over and over consistently but as far as kicking back and just enjoying a good long blow job with no expectations I think that is harder for him. I’m so gonna have to work on making that become a reality at least once. He did comment once that I had made him hard right after sex and made him able to go for a second round and he said even when he was younger that was never a possibility for him, so there’s a start anyway, lol. Wish me luck!! Maybe I will be his “first” at something else!! 😀

Are we done yet?

bad in bed

http://snarkysnatch.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/thoughts-i-have-during-bad-sex/

Bad sex, now here’s something I’ve had a lot of experience with!! I love this blog post by snarkysnatch. It’s amazing how often those romps in the sack turn out to be more than a little disappointing. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been there wondering when it will be over with!! No wonder I rarely complained about my ex- husband only lasting 3 minutes each time. It was like sheesh, at least that’s all I have to endure of THIS. I wonder when he’ll be done so I can go pretend to clean up and masturbate in the shower?

Seriously though, whether it’s due to bad chemistry or bad technique or just a bad mood, bad sex just sucks! Or, more often, it doesn’t suck, or lick, or do anything that involves his mouth on the most important part of my body!

One of my huge pet peeves is men who don’t go down. What the hell dude? How can you ever expect me to think you are halfway decent in bed if you can’t even give me a little loving with your mouth? How would you like it if I never gave you a blow job? You think it’s okay to expect that but that my needs don’t need to be met? Wow. Amazing how often that little tidbit seems to fly right over guy’s heads. I go to the trouble of being shaved and clean and nice smelling and looking the best I can and it’s not just so you’ll stick a finger in there to see if I’m wet then ram it in after I’ve been sucking your dick for 20 minutes. EYEROLL.

It’s not just guys that don’t go down at all either but those who do it once in a while, or halfheartedly or they are really, really, good at it but once you start getting in a more serious relationship they start to become more and more selfish and frequently forget to please YOU. Then they complain about women losing their sex drives. Knock, knock, is anybody home in there?? If the sex is GOOD, I’m not gonna lose ANYTHING of the sort. I’m going to be BEGGING for more, frequently. If you get lazy and it’s a quickie every single time with you getting off and me getting nothing, well, yeah, I’m going to start to lose interest!

I don’t even HAVE to have a guy go down on me to have good sex but I really appreciate it when they do and find it offensive when they don’t bother. I shouldn’t have to ask, it should be a given. Yes, I’ve heard women out there say they don’t like when guys go down on them but I am figuring they just haven’t experienced a REALLY GOOD licking, lol. Mr. Married man, OH MY GOD. I’ve never experienced a tongue that nice in my life and once he did it while using my vibrator on me and I think I came like for 20 minutes straight, over and over and over and over. He’s even better with his cock, but we aren’t talking about that today, haha. 😉

So what else constitutes bad sex? Well, like I mentioned above sometimes it’s just bad chemistry. My ex- husband and I had horrible chemistry in bed. The problem was that we both wanted to be submissive. I’m very submissive in bed and want to be ravished. He wanted to lay on his back like a dead fish and have me ride him almost every time we had sex, despite me trying to tell him repeatedly that I liked to do other things better. I grew to HATE that position but I still do it some when guys want it’s just probably my least favorite. I like it much better if the guy is still somewhat in control.

My ex- husband hated doggy style because he said it made him feel like he was disrespecting me. He also wouldn’t let me go down on him because that made him feel guilty and when I wanted him to lick it he said that was only for lesbians. Hot stuff, let me tell you. Oh, and he once wanted me to spank HIM. Like he lay over my lap and I did it a few times but I can’t imagine being more turned off. I’m sure there are women out there who’d enjoy that but I am not one of them. BAD MATCH. He also would tell me to be quiet if I got the least bit excited or God forbid, expressed a little bit of pleasure in sex at all. The biggest problem though was that he completely IGNORED what I said I liked or didn’t like or the bodily clues that I tried to give. If someone is clearly feeling uncomfortable or asking you to stop licking her nipples like that because it tickles and you keep doing the same thing then it’s not going to produce a different result.

For me, sex with no emotion or passion behind it virtually never turns out to be good. I require some kind of emotional high or excitement to really get off. That doesn’t mean I have to be in love with the guy or that I can’t on a one night stand it just means there has to be more than jackhammering going on. I think that’s pretty typical for a lot of women.

I can think of a few recent scenarios involving lack of emotion where the sex just didn’t get me all hot and bothered. Like there was this guy that drove 4 hours to meet me from the swinger site and got a hotel and he was “okay” and “nice” but not really inspiring any kind of excitement or horniness. He asked me like 3 times if I really wanted to do this and it was starting to turn me off. Yet we had sex anyway. Of course I was wet (pretty much always seem to be whether I’m actually turned on or not) so he forgot about all his promises to go down on me and give me a great time and just slapped on the condom and went in. There was no preparation or foreplay and I was feeling DISAPPOINTED because he had promised me a nice massage and I never got it.

The sex was pretty much just in- out, in- out, in- out plunging until it started to feel kind of good for a minute and he pulled out saying he knew “that was feeling way too good”. Uh, yeah, the condom had shot off and gotten lost inside of me! I didn’t even know that could happen and at first tried to reach in with a finger but couldn’t get to it! After a bit it resurfaced enough that I could grab ahold of the edge and pull it out though. Scary!

My point though, is you know the sex sucked when he says “this is feeling too good” and stops. LMAO.

Of course I’ve had my share of guys that blow so quick you wonder what happened too. Like 1, 2, 3 pumps, YOUR’E OUT!! Did we just fuck? Seriously? How did he cum that fast? I hadn’t even had a chance to let out a moan and we are done already? Damn. See how much better that would have been if you’d gone down on me? Or at least used your fingers afterwards, or something? But no…and he’ll even tell you how hot it was later…

Then there’s the sex that lasts like AN HOUR and he’s just pumping away and pumping and you’re looking at the clock watching the minutes tick by and hoping he’ll let you move to a different position soon but he seems to think you like this while the condom is rubbing against you and you know you are going to be red and raw and sore but he seems to be enjoying himself. Did I mention I hate the feel of condoms, especially after a long session or like when the end of it is too loose and aggravating my cervix? Bleah….

You’re probably wondering if I like sex at all by now but I DO!! I LOVE IT. I love it when it’s GOOD. I love it when the guy takes the time to try and please me, I love it when he is dominating the hell out of me and MAKING me cum for him and I love it when I’m so lost in emotion and so deep in a sex trance that I feel like I’m drunk and high on the feelings it creates. The married guy can go for 4 hours and I am in HEAVEN enjoying it and never notice the clock. The same with the Professor, I’m so emotionally into it that it’s like an out of body experience. That kind of sex is hard to find!

Yes there are times when I am so horny that even mediocre sex will do. There were times when I was wanting sex so bad I’d just suck it up and come on to my ex -husband and ride the hell out of his dick even though he wasn’t seeming that into it and came quickly. There have been times when I’ve slept with a stranger or someone I didn’t even like that much just to get out a sexual urge and enjoyed it even if it wasn’t spectacular but bad sex is just bad sex.

Most of my experiences with bad sex have involved a guy who didn’t seem that into it or that into ME or wasn’t making an effort to make it FEEL GOOD to me. Like he was using me as a masturbatory aid or something and basically I’m just a hole to get off and not trying to make the experience good for both of us. I have a major need to feel the man’s passion and desire for me and to know my body and soul are WANTED.

There have been times too where a guy is going overboard trying to do all the right things but the FEELING just isn’t there. Like there was a guy I met awhile back who spent the majority of our date making me feel sorry for him and his situation with his ex- wife. I felt so bad that I agreed to sleep with him, thinking I wanted to cheer him up (dumb, I know) and he wasn’t bad looking. Still the sex just wasn’t that great at all. Half the time his erection kept going up and down and I think he would have been happy to just have me lick his balls and jack him off the entire time. That’s what he kept going back to. Not so exciting for ME. Still he went down on me but just did a not so great job and his stubble was rubbing against my very sensitive skin and scratching. Youch!

Of course there’s also the stereotypical guy who can’t find a clit to save his life. I’ve had PLENTY of those. Like they go down on you but they spend the entire time sticking their tongue up INSIDE you. This does what for me exactly? Errr…nothing actually. Or licking somewhere RIGHT NEXT to it and you keep trying to move up under him in a way that will help him get it right but he dodges you, wtf? Or he BITES it (ouch!! 😦 ) or licks so gently that it becomes irritating.

Yeah, I know women can be hard to please and I don’t claim to be an easy case. It does make me appreciate the men who pay attention to me and my body and signals even more though. At least that way I’m not wondering about the mark on the wall behind him (is that a booger? Ewwwww) or trying to pretend he’s someone else or inventing elaborate scenarios in my head so I can get off.

I appreciate that good sex doesn’t seem to come to men without practice. So in that sense I really love an experienced man in the bedroom more than one who is just starting out. I love the ones that really put forth the effort to learn about a woman’s body and how to make them feel good emotionally in bed as well. I get SO TURNED ON by the sound of a guy’s voice and the things he says and some of my favorite guys in bed have also been really vocal and good with the sweet talking (which I guess is like dirty talk but without the whore/bitch/cunt type comments that some women like but that turn me off).

Of course we all are so different and men are more different in the bedroom than they let on too. I think it’s hard to find a good match and sometimes even harder to let one go. Good dick is ad-dick-ting!! I’ve been having some issues with the Professor, but man, that is the hardest thing to not want to hang on to. He’s SO GOOD and we are so well matched in the bedroom that I can’t even describe it. I’m like on an emotional/sexual high the entire time we are in bed and for days afterwards. There’s that saying about how you get over one man by getting under another but there are only two men in my entire life that have been able to bring me to that level in bed, out of all the guys I’ve had sex with. My fuck buddy is great and I even cum with him and he’s made me squirt once and no one else has but it’s just not the same on the emotional level. Wah! 😦

Ooops!

ma

What not to accidentally text to your ex- husband (Gah, I am such a freaking airhead sometimes, I swear!!). “You make me feel so good”. LMAO I texted right after and was like “oops, wrong person”.

Yeeaaahhh… Of COURSE it was the wrong person. I never, in a million years, would have texted those words to the ex- husband. He never bothered to even TRY to make me feel good in bed. His excuse, when we were divorcing and that fact came out in anger, was that I had supposedly told him, once upon a time, somewhere back when we were dating, that I didn’t “have” to have an orgasm to be happy in bed. So he extrapolated that to mean that I didn’t WANT an orgasm, ever.

For 13 years I supposedly had no desire for an orgasm. Say what?? Nevermind that I had TRIED and asked him questions like why he wasn’t interested in giving me oral sex and he said that was what lesbians do and straight women wouldn’t be interested. Thanks. Thanks for shaming me for wanting basic sexual pleasure. I told him I didn’t understand why women’s bodies would be created the way they are, where it feels good to have sexual stimulation on the outside if we weren’t supposed to have any and he said maybe that was part of “the curse”. You know, the curse on Eve after eating the fruit in the Garden of Eden? Yes, he actually said that.

To be fair he didn’t want me to go down on him either because he felt oral sex was “wrong” in the eyes of God since it’s not used to procreate. Once upon a time though, when we were dating and before he “rededicated” his life to Christ, I gave him a blow job that resulted in him cumming in my mouth and me swallowing it. I remember it clearly because it was the first time I had really willingly swallowed someone’s cum and I gagged a bit because it was thick like Tapioca pudding. (I’ve since read that can happen when a guy doesn’t cum often enough, don’t know if that was the case or what). Anyway, he got all upset about it afterwards, even though I wasn’t at all and said he “felt bad” for doing so. Poor guy really did have a lot of hang ups about sex.

He also felt that masturbation was bad. We got into arguments about this because I felt it was natural and fine to touch your own body. He said he didn’t and was especially opposed to women doing so and it was even worse if you used a toy. Still, he was the one with the “porn problem” where he snuck off to some porn booths to supposedly masturbate. Now that I know those booths sometimes contain glory holes and people have sex in there I’m not so sure. Who knows what he was doing? Sex with men? I honestly wouldn’t be that surprised, because he had virtually no interest whatsoever in ME.

So I survived my marriage without these releases. Okay, not without masturbation. I never bought a toy but I know how to make do. I’m crafty like that 😉 Ha. Thank God for shower massagers and well, I won’t mention my other improvisations, but hey, they worked. I never have gotten the hang of getting myself off without some sort of aid but that’s okay because I’m like MacGuyver if I have to be.

Like it or not my body DOES need orgasms!! People give all this lip service to men having “blue balls” and NEEDING to get off every now and then but I firmly believe women do too! Heck I know I do! I know how it feels to have all sorts of sexual energy that really NEEDS a release. Perhaps I masturbate a little too often (sometimes a couple times a day) especially now that I have both a fun toy AND a shower massager, but hey, it feels GOOD so if I can find a few minutes to do so, why not? Just wish sometimes that it didn’t take me so dang long to get off, lol, or I’d do it more often.

Anyhow, the text was MEANT to be sent to the Professor, who, as usual, was AWESOME in bed tonight!! 🙂 I just love the sex with him so much. Its ultra- intimate and just hot, hot, hot!! One of these days I’m gonna learn to be more quiet though, sheesh, his poor neighbors. Thankfully the windows in the apartment above him looked dark when I was leaving and I don’t think anyone was home.

One of the positions we did tonight is something I don’t recall ever doing before. He had me lying on my back with my knees up against my chest, only he wasn’t laying on me missionary style like a guy usually would be when you are like that. He was sideways, and like almost doing push-ups. Ha, I guess guys have to be pretty athletic for some of the stuff they do in bed sometimes, glad it’s not me that is doing all that work, but I loved it and he seemed to enjoy it too. He was some of the time going side to side, like guys sometimes do when they are in Missionary, but instead, because of his position, it was up and down. I hope that makes sense. Anyhow it felt incredible.

Mmmmm…. I totally want to go crawl into bed and masturbate thinking about it now. It was only a couple hours ago that I left his place but I just love playing with myself afterwards and getting all lost in the thoughts of how good it felt. It’s funny because guys, and the Professor, often seem to think it’s an INSULT for you to admit to masturbating after having great sex with them. “What? You weren’t satisfied?” he will ask. So I don’t mention it anymore, lol, because that’s not the case at ALL. Being totally satisfied sometimes just makes me want to relive it. Sure there are times I masturbated after unsatisfactory sex too (like with the ex) but in those cases it was just to get off at all.

Actually, I masturbated earlier today, twice. Once in the shower and right after that with my toy. I guess I’m just a total horn dog, lol. What can I say? I’m not ovulating either. In fact I had light spotting this morning that indicates my period is gonna start up early. Makes sense since I’ve been an emotional wreck the past couple of days and crying a lot. I feel a lot better now though, after seeing the Professor. Sex is a good cure all. 😉

Speaking of sex and cures, the Professor does NOT have prostate cancer (yay!!!) but he does have an inflamed prostate and they don’t know why. He still has some pain and they’ve got him on a special sort of antibiotic that he’s been taking for over a month now. It causes him to be tired and have some not so great side effects, like joint pain, so hopefully he will be over with it soon and the swelling will have been reduced. I guess they just don’t know what causes that but guys get it sometimes. I was reading up a bit about it though and besides things like warm baths they suggest cumming a lot as a remedy, lol. I routinely tease him about this and tell him that’s the prescription from Dr. Lovergirl. 😉 However, I’m glad that’s not what I accidentally texted to the ex!! OMG. Facepalm!! lol

It’s a small world after all

So awhile back Mr. Best Sex on the Whole Entire Planet Married Guy added me on Facebook. I was a bit surprised and hoped that didn’t clue his wife in because she caught him texting me at least once before. In any case, apparently it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was back to contacting me 3 weeks later. I highly suspect he is a serial cheater and I’m pretty sure his wife would never leave him. I sure wouldn’t if I were her. The sex is too damn good! LOL Plus he appears to be a great dad and has lots of money. Not worth leaving just because he’s a cheater, at least in my opinion, but if I were her I’d just get mine sometimes too.

He lives in the large metropolitan area of a big city that is 30 minutes away from my hometown. So I did a quick check to make sure we didn’t have any mutual friends. We don’t so I figured that was cool and went on to look at a few pics of his wife, who looks beautiful and happy. I briefly hoped my non emotional relationship with him is not hurting her in any way, but I’m thinking it’s pretty common behavior for him and at least we aren’t emotionally involved. Then of course I noticed their ADORABLE children. I texted to tell him how freaking cute his kids are and hadn’t checked back on his page since. He doesn’t post often and occasionally I’ll see a pic of him with his siblings or family.

So today, he texts me to ask if I know a particular guy, who is on my friends list. Why yes, we went to high school together. I wouldn’t say I know him SUPER well, and I know I haven’t slept with him but we ran with the same crowd and there is always the possibility I may have given him a blow job or something and not written it down. What can I say, my memory about that kind of stuff sucks, lol. I asked why he wanted to know and he didn’t text back. Typical, he’s a very flaky guy and I attribute it to being married.

Okay, so just a little while ago I sat down and decided to look the guy up on my Facebook to see why he wanted to know if I knew him. He’s not friends with him. Okay, so I go to HIS friends list and click on the box that says they are friends of his that I might know. Low and behold, there is a girl who is friends with my baby sister and a few other people I know, and 3 more people that are friends with my stepsister and a few more that are friends with other friends of mine. Ha!

I text to tell Mr. Sex God about it and he texts back that the guy he mentioned earlier is his oldest child’s mother’s boyfriend. (Guess he hasn’t been married all that long, or else he had his child out of wedlock, I’d just assumed this child was with his current wife). Ahhhhh….. What cracks me up is that the guy in question actually has a very similar look to Mr. Sex God. Like, they could totally be brothers. I said I can see why she chose him after you, you all have that look and he didn’t comment, lmao. Hope I didn’t upset him ;).

What’s funny is that I happened to meet Mr. Sex God, HERE, while he was on a business trip. He lives almost 3 hours away. I met him on Craigslist and went straight to his hotel and we were having sex within 5 minutes of me showing up. It’s one of my more daring recent sexual escapades and was kind of “unlike” my usual behavior. Actually it’s the first time I’d fucked anyone off Craigslist (but not the last). He claims it was his first time too, though who knows, he’d also claimed he was single and later admitted to being married.

It cracks me up that he knows who this guy is. At first I was actually a bit afraid they might know each other some other way and he might talk to him about me. I was a wild child back in high school and who knows what kind of information he could have to offer about me or what tales he could tell. The guy knows plenty of guys I’ve had sex with, though nowadays he is a worship leader at a big church, so obviously either hiding a bit of HIS past or possibly the present as well (like Mr. Married Dude does, he is a churchgoer also). Either way, I’m not too worried. I know neither is going to put me on blast due to having their own secrets to keep.

It’s just too funny! I went to see who the girlfriend/baby mama is too and she is gorgeous and a model! Sometimes I’m really surprised that Mr. Married Guy seems to like me so much. I’m decent looking but nothing like that. Still when we first met off Craigslist, both before and after we had sex, he kept saying how gorgeous he thought I was. It didn’t seem like he was just saying that either, he seemed genuinely surprised and said I looked even better than my pics and that the sex was as amazing for him as it is for me.

Not that he is known for being 100% truthful or anything, lmao. The second time we had sex he made a crazy proposal to me that I should come live in an extra house that he has with my children and he would pay me 3000 dollars a month if I would have his baby. While that actually sounds fabulous I was pretty sure he was full of shit. He didn’t mention it again until recently and this time it was only the house part, haha. I kinda figure that was some sort of tale to get me lost in the fantasy style sex.

In any case, he makes me FEEL really good so I don’t really care, I just take whatever he says with a big grain of salt and we seem to get along fine. He told me that first night that he is a bit of a “sex addict” and I had to agree that I am too. He says even with all the women he’s been with that I stand out because most women wouldn’t do what I did and just walk up to his hotel and fuck him, lmao. Actually, here is the ad I originally responded to 😉 I am a naughty girl. 🙂

In town on business Tues. and Wed. and looking for some fun. Me, 6’1″, 205, athletic build. Black, well hung. Very sexual and gets my ultimate pleasure by getting a woman to reach her max multi-time. Has pics to share. (The title said something about fulfilling all my fantasies).

Well, he wasn’t lying and it definitely wasn’t a mistake!! I’ve never had that good of sex in my LIFE, ever. We’ve only managed to actually get together a couple of times so far due to logistics and flakiness on his part and difficulty travelling on mine, but I know someday it will happen again. He likes to randomly text and let me know he is thinking of me and he asks about the swinger parties and the Professor and sends an occasional naughty pic and vice versa.

Just so you all can get an idea of HOW GOOD he is, here is an excerpt of something I wrote after that first night together. This was less than a year ago and actually really the first time I’ve ever been able to have orgasms WITH a guy. I have had a lot of pretty good sex with very experienced guys and a lot of solo orgasms, but until him I’d never experienced this or multiple orgasms or vaginal ones. HE was/is AMAZING in the sack!! (So is the Professor, who is nearly as good, but objectively this dude TAKES THE CAKE- cookie? 😉 ha)

I am still trying to figure out what happened myself! Lol I think it was a combination of all of that, really. I mean he was really sensual and paying attention to all of me but in a very dominant and non-supplicative way. He was obviously really enjoying every minute of it too and that made me feel really good. He was dominant, but not aggressive or mean, which is typical of what I like in other guys too.

Anyway, it definitely helped that he was so amazing with his tongue and started out that way. I had never actually cum from oral before though I love it and many times have gotten close, but he made me cum like 3 or 4 times that way before actually having sex. He had my hips and legs pinned down where I couldn’t move away from him at all and clearly loved doing it. He was relaxed and didn’t appear to be rushing through it just to get to the “fun stuff” for himself, lol and no trying to get me in a 69 which id already told him I don’t really like because it is distracting and I like to focus. He did a lot of different stuff with his tongue and the pressure was just perfect, but didn’t use his fingers at all.

The sex-I don’t think I could even remember all the positions we were in, most were things I’ve done before but he had a way of hitting all kinds of different angles with his cock and would just keep going at one angle until I came then pause and start in on another angle! I didn’t even know that many angles existed lol, and I have been with guys who like to hit different spots but not to that extent. He even had me in some positions I’m not as crazy about normally and managed to make me cum like that. He did seem to like driving in too deep occasionally to where it hurt me but he would stop when I asked him to.

He had a lot of control and was holding me in ways where I couldn’t move most of the time. He wasn’t too rough, though he did bite my neck some and do a little hair pulling and spanking (but it seems everyone does that). Much of the time he was touching other parts of my body, running his hands all over my skin, kissing me, sucking on my toes or breasts, playing with my hair,etc. Very romantic-like. He didn’t cum for a very long time and just kept going and going. I’d cum and he’d ask if he’s got everything yet and id say yes! Lol and he’d just laugh and start something new.

The dominance was definitely a factor, though I’ve been with some pretty dominant guys before. Even when he had me on top of him he was holding me up against him (with my feet on the bed instead of my knees) so he could be the one doing all the moving. I am actually still sore from some of those positions (like my stomach muscles and thighs, not what you are thinking, ha) so got a good workout, lol.

oh, and he did that thing with his cock where he would push up against me and kind of grind around inside in a circular motion where his pubic bone or something was stimulating my clit at the same time. It felt amazing lol and every time he’d start to pull away there would be a bit of suction. No idea how he was doing that but omg!!

The way he carried himself was hot too, and very dominant and the way he would laugh and start going faster and making me cum more when I was begging him to stop lol

As for the tempo it was great, had some old school rnb in the background and just moonlight. He said beforehand he thought I’d be more comfortable with him the first time without all the lights.It was supposed to be a one night stand, but that didn’t happen because we both were liking it too much. The second time we had sex was even better, lasted over 4 hours and he made me cum so much I seriously thought I was gonna have a heart attack. He used my toy on me and went down on me while holding the vibrator part close to my clit. OH MY FUCKING GOD, all I did for about 20 minutes straight was cum, over and over and over again, lol.

At one point I swear I thought I was gonna have a heart attack he was giving me so many orgasms and I had to make him STOP. That NEVER happens, haha. No one EVER wears me out!! The funny thing is that not long before I met him I had been arguing forcefully on a forum I used to post on that it was “IMPOSSIBLE” for a woman to have 30 orgasms in one sitting and that if she was telling you that she was LYING and FAKING it. Well, I’m here to say that I was TOTALLY wrong!!! And sooo glad I was!! 😉 😉

We had also talked about the possibility of having a threesome with another female. With most guys I’m not that into the idea but with him I wouldn’t mind so much because I know I’d go home happy. He says he’s had a lot of threesomes with two women and knows exactly how to make it good for everyone. With how fantastic he is in bed I believe him, lol. We looked on Craigslist once and had some possibilities but not the time. One girl was pregnant and another woman was over 50 and wanted to bring all kinds of toys, including nipple clamps (yikes) a butt plug (um…never tried it) and strap-ons, ha. That was before I’d ever been with another female so it was like woah, slow down a bit, lol. I’m sure he still wants that though. We will see.

All this writing about it is making me want to sleep with him again, sooo bad, ha! We just barely missed each other recently when I was home having an early Thanksgiving meal with relatives. He kept trying to persuade me to sneak out to meet him and I said if he’d hurry up I could and my sister would even cover for me but he was 30 minutes away and as he was getting closer my family was packing up to leave and I had to drive my grandma home. So at 15 minutes away he had to turn around and drive back. Dammit! LOL We will manage one of these days again ;).

Comparing lovers

Do you compare lovers? Everyone says they don’t. I have a hard time believing that. I wish I could say I never compare mine, but that would be a lie. Still, by “compare,” I really mean “contrast”. I notice their differences, but no one is coming up short. It’s not a competition. Each person brings something unique to the table and plays a different role in my life. None of the men in my life would be replaceable by one of the others. One of them alone couldn’t possibly fulfill the needs that get met by having several.

Contrary to popular belief (by a lot of men anyway), I don’t grade the guys by dick size. I’m not breaking out my ruler deciding who is best due to the extra inch or two he’s packing below the belt. Yes, I do know who has the biggest cock, lol, and I do enjoy it, but that doesn’t define my relationship to him or the amount of pleasure I receive during sex. It’s actually my fuck buddy, the person I’m the least emotionally attached to. He’s a whopping almost 9 inches and it’s thick. I can barely fit my mouth around it without having to make a conscious effort not to scrape with my teeth. He’s good in bed too, and can make me cum, but there are others who do it even more so, with less to work with. I’m not disappointed with any of them either. I absolutely love the sex and relationship with each and every one, for different reasons.

All of the men I am involved with know I am sleeping with others. The Love of My Life is somewhat of an exception in that we have a bit of an unspoken don’t ask/don’t tell policy, but he knows. We’ve both found evidence of one another’s lovers, we just choose to play inside of our little fantasy bubble where no one else exists. Not a lot of people would understand, but that’s okay because it works for us and we are able to get emotional needs met that we might not otherwise.

Anyhow, because they know there are other men in my life, there is a certain level of sexual competition. I fully admit I rather enjoy this phenomenon, lol. 😉 It can range from entertaining to super- hot, depending on the comments they make and their attitudes. Thankfully I haven’t seen too many signs of hurt or insecurity because THAT would make me feel bad. Mostly its “concern” over whether or not the other guys are fucking me right, lmao. Does he make me cum? Why was it over so quickly? Is he as good at using his tongue?

Sometimes they even start making comments in bed. “I bet no one else does *this* huh?” “Whose pussy is this? Tell me it’s mine. What’s my name?” I love every minute of it, lol. I’m all for any kind of competition that urges men towards being even better in the sack. I’m more than happy to stroke their egos too. And mostly so far it’s been the man who is the best at something that asks me if the other guys are as good at it so I haven’t really had to lie. I’m not gonna be all “well this guy is better than you at xyz” though. Usually they don’t demand to know things that directly (maybe they are afraid of the answers) so I can be vague if need be. They all make me happy in one way or another and are good in bed or I wouldn’t keep them around!

I have noticed that if I embark on a new sexual experience and they hear about it then everyone wants to try it with me so have to watch out for that. Like once I went to the swinger parties with the Professor then all the guys were wanting to go to swinger parties with me. I haven’t gone with anyone else but my fuck buddy even rounded up a couple that we may end up playing with sometime. If I ever have a FMF threesome with any of them I’m really gonna have to keep my mouth shut or they will ALL definitely want to. Ack!

Anyway, I was pondering over what each one brings to my life and they are all valuable to me.

The Love of My Life gives things to me emotionally that I really need at this point in my life. He’s known me since we were young and he understands me better than anyone I know. He knows many of the skeletons in my closet on a first name basis and still loves me. He GETS me in a way I can’t even explain. He gets my jokes and understands automatically the best things to say most of the time. He doesn’t misread me like other people sometimes do.

We have very similar tastes in music, movies, books and things we like to do. So if he recommends something to me or vice versa you can usually guarantee I’m going to like it. We can talk and reminisce about things and people for hours and laugh and laugh like I would with my sisters and brothers or close girlfriends. He’s almost like family. Speaking of family, I’ve slept with several of his family members in the past and he doesn’t hold it against me at all. In fact I’m pretty sure he’d defend me to the end if anyone said something bad about me. Actually one of my relatives had a child with one of his so we are technically sort of kind of related now, though we weren’t growing up. In any case our families know each other.

That brings me to a big one- he’s super protective of me. I LOVE it. I feel totally safe with him and I know he’d be livid if anyone ever tried to hurt me. We can express love and romantic emotions with each other to our hearts content and never have to worry about it meaning the things it means to a lot of people (marriage, long term monogamy, whatever). We have had our roller coaster ups and downs but that’s not what I’m talking about here. We don’t talk like we used to but I know if I need him he will be there and I can be just like we’ve always been.

Best of all, the sex with him is just special to me. He’s good in bed and I’ve never had someone “make love” to me the way he does. He really knows how to literally, make me feel loved, in the bedroom.

The Professor is a newer development in my life. I REALLY like him! Now that the “Love of My Life” and I don’t communicate near as much as we used to he’s really kind of taken over the main spot in my little male harem. He’s really good to me. He’s straight up about telling the truth about things and being open, which I really appreciate. He’s INCREDIBLE in bed and the dynamic between us is just really, really good. He’s very “fatherly” towards me and I’m someone that definitely needs that. He lives close by and he is just really sweet. I’ve never really had a guy who is such a gentleman and buys me little gifts and does things for me and just goes out of his way the way he does. It really makes me feel great. He’s very reliable and doesn’t play games with my heart and I like that.

The Married Guy is just the best sex on the planet. Seriously. He is!! Technically, he is the best sex I have ever had. If you count in the emotional stuff there are other people that are almost as good but no one can fuck me quite like that. I am SOOO glad I met him, even if he’s incredibly flaky. I know he has a hard time finding time to get with me. He just recently called and wanted me to drive 4 hours to stay somewhere with him for a few days while he’s on a business trip. He offered to pay for my gas. I totally wish I had that option, but no idea who would watch my kids for that long. I so would love to though!!!

My FWB is a unique one. He is interesting and fun and will take me out on dates and do stuff with me more often than some of the others. Occasionally the Professor does and sometimes others but he is more into spending time together than most. We will watch movies or actually DO things other than have sex and he bought me a little something for Valentines day last year which was a nice surprise. He’s a little rougher in bed than some of the others but I LIKE that I’m getting that from somewhere. 😉 He’s also a master at giving out compliments, lol. He really knows how to make me feel like he appreciates my body. Like once he pulled me up in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom and proceeded to go on and on about the things he loved about my naked body in detail, all while touching and eventually fucking me in front of it. I was blushing hot but I loved it.

My fuck buddy is the perfect fuck buddy! He really is. He’s super cute too and has a really great body (and huge cock), lol. He doesn’t get emotional but he hugs and cuddles for the proper amount of time afterwards to make me happy and he is all about the sex. He may be the only one with a sex drive as high as mine. We sometimes go a couple times in a row right after each other and he’ll say things like he wishes he could fuck me every single day. I like that. LOL I walk in the door and we just go at it, right away. No beating around the bush here! Haha

So what it comes down to is that they are all special to me in one way or another. Its nice to remember that because they are all seeing other women as well and I have to keep in mind that I’m sure I hold my own special place to each of them, even if I don’t know what it is I bring to their lives. Comparing doesn’t have to be bad, now does it? 😉