I am blushing so hotly right now. I’m about to do something I never thought I’d do. I am going to allow one of the guys I am fucking to read my blog. He’ll have the key to the window of my deepest inner thoughts.
As all of my regular readers know, I post a LOT of intimate information and private things here. I make a point of being as real and emotionally honest as possible. Him reading is not going to change that, so he is going to have to decide for himself whether or not it is something he can handle. I think for a lot of guys it would be too much to digest and they might want to close the window after taking a little peek.
If any man I know CAN handle this though, it’s Mr. Firm (have fun figuring out why I call you that, lmao). He’s proven to be one of the most sexually open and nonjudgmental men I’ve yet to meet. He’s cool, calm and collected and hasn’t flipped out or seemed threatened over the stuff I’ve already told him. Most especially, he doesn’t seem to apply the double standard that so many men do. I love that.
So, if he doesn’t mind reading about things like my fuck buddy’s dick size or my thoughts about possible gangbangs with him and his friends (lmfao, I am sure you will enjoy that post), or learning about what exactly I did and thought at that last party after he left the scene, in gruesome detail, well, then here you have it!
This should be fun and I admit to being a little bit turned on by being exposed like this, but I’m also WAY nervous, haha! I’ve never let anyone I know in real life see my blog and a whole nother side of what goes on in my head, besides what I do with my body. I’m going to be picturing him reading this, staring at me with that intense passion that he has during sex. I’ve never had a guy look at me like that. Sometimes I can barely return his gaze, it’s so dominant and unwavering, makes me feel like he is piercing my soul. I’m almost afraid I’m not going to be able to look him in the eye ever again, haha.
It reminds me of back in middle school, when I had my first official “boyfriend”. He was a nice looking, shorter than me (hey, we were in middle school, give the guy a break, 😉 ), Italian guy with dark hair and eyes. We’d spent a lot of time flirting with each other in class before he ever asked me out. He asked over the phone and we spent hours talking. Then, after it was official, and everyone knew we were going out, I’d see him at school and suddenly, even him walking down the other side of the hallway, was sooo mortifying that I had to duck into the bathroom with all my girlfriends to hide. I was too afraid to talk to him face to face! Lmao! Obviously that relationship didn’t last long. Ha!
Anyhow, I feel like someone is about to read my diary. I want to crawl through the floor. My “crush” has found me out! (I do talk about him an awful lot, lol, he may be surprised). I THINK he knows that my feelings are harmless, since I’m not intending to take them anywhere and know full well he is happy in his situation, which I am not trying to change.
Yet, I want him to see it. He’s the only guy that has expressed a REAL interest in reading what I have to say, even though others have heard I have a blog. I trust him, as unusual as that may be, for me. He’s shown again and again that he means what he says, and here is what he said, verbatim: “I’m sure even if I thought whoa about what ever you have written, I’m not givin up the great sex. Fuck that. Lmfao”. Haha, I’m gonna hold him to that because I don’t want to give it up either!! 😀
So here goes…. I am off to go hide my face somewhere, after I give him the link! LMAO! Enjoy!! 😉 🙂