Tag Archive | assholes

Stood up!!

stood-up

Sad to say this, but apparently the man I used to call the “love of my life” has now joined the ranks of the biggest losers.  He stood me up this weekend in a rather cruel way.  Makes me wonder if he felt some sort of need to get revenge for something I have done.  Only I can’t imagine what?  The only thing I seem to have failed at with him was not giving him enough attention the past several months.  Perhaps due to his narcissism this made him angry.  I really can’t say.

We hadn’t been talking much lately.  Now and again I’d get a random text from him saying he misses me, and I would respond in kind but we hadn’t planned any get togethers.  It’s been something like 9 months since we last had sex or saw one another. 

On my birthday he texted me.  It was sweet, he said he wished he were here to enjoy it with me.  A few days later I got another text.  This time he was inviting me to a concert.  He said a friend had given him their tickets because they couldn’t go and he had an extra one. 

I was thrilled because, unbeknownst to him I was going to be in his town anyway!  I was driving up to see family and had meant to text him and let him know but hadn’t done it yet.  So when I told him this and that my sister would likely be able to babysit he sounded excited that I’d said yes.  He emphasized that even if I wasn’t able to go to the concert with him he REALLY wanted to see me. 

The concert was for an old school singer whose music I love, and I know he does too.  It was an all white event and both of us were going to have to find something to wear.  Being that it was nearly Labor Day I figured I’d be able to find something on sale.  After telling me the details of where and what time it was and how we needed to dress, he disappeared.

That was the last I heard of him.  I assumed he was working.  He tends to be really slow responding to texts and constantly busy so I didn’t think much of it at first.  I texted him a few times, mostly thanking him, and letting him know how stoked I was that he had invited me to come along! 

Then I set off to find a dress.  I found a darling little white sundress on clearance sale for $15 at the mall and some really cute shoes (used but in fantastic condition and a normally expensive brand) for $9.  The dress didn’t require a bra, since it has a bit of one built in.  I was thankful for that, having nothing strapless and white to wear otherwise.  I got some white flower pins for my hair and a cute white bracelet and earrings.

white dress

white shoes

 

I texted to let him know I’d found some things, because he’d expressed that he needed to find white clothing as well.  No response, but I still wasn’t too worried.  The concert was the next evening so I only had one day to look and get ready to drive his way.  I even decided to swing by a tanning booth since I haven’t been in the sun much lately and I wanted my color to look good with the dress.  I decided on sparkly gold nail polish for both fingers and toes.

By the next morning, when I was getting ready to leave town with the kids, I still hadn’t heard from him.  By now I was getting a little worried but trying not to stress.  We’ve had big blow outs in the past because I’d over-reacted (or so he says) to him not responding to texts when he’s busy with working.  He always says that if he hasn’t responded then nothing has changed and that he is a man of his word and his feelings don’t change that quickly, so not to flip. 

We’ve worked a LOT on this kind of stuff in the past.  I mean, we were seeing each other and in an emotional relationship for 4 years.  Our affair lasted two years during the end of my marriage and carried on over two years after that before it started to dwindle.  He knows all too well that being stood up is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and that I tend to panic if I have any reason to believe plans are going to be changed at the last minute. 

That’s what is really fucked up about all this.  He knows me and knows my trigger points probably better than anyone on the planet.  He knows all too well about my abandonment issues, and over the years that I’ve really been trying hard to work on them.  So I finally texted that I was starting to feel anxious and stressed but that I was going to try not to worry and looked forward to hearing back from him soon. 

I let him know I was on my way to town and was looking forward to seeing him when I arrived, that I’d be at my sister’s house.  His cousin and my sister have a child together, so in that sense we are practically related and I’ve known him since we were kids.  I reasoned that everything was probably fine and was proud of myself for not going overboard or getting angry with him for his lack of response.  I was trying to remain calm.

All to no avail.  I arrived and showered and got ready for the concert but still no word from him.  I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and just knew he wasn’t going to show.  I didn’t put on my new dress and I told my sister what was up.  She was like “yeah, if he hasn’t responded by NOW, he’s probably not coming”. 

Wow. Just wow.  I couldn’t believe he would do this.  My sister said yeah, but what do you expect from the men in that family anyway?  I had to acknowledge that there is some truth to that.  I dated one of his half- brothers long ago and he stood me up constantly.  I just wanted to believe he was better than that.  Sure enough, he never showed and I haven’t heard a peep out of him.

I guess he must have invited someone else instead but the least he could have done was make up some stupid lame excuse.  I’d rather hear one of those, and maybe even be lied to, than stood up like that.  It was cruel.  My sister said the same thing, and so did Mr. Firm when I told him.  The Producer said I shouldn’t be hanging around lame ass bustas like that, haha and I even told the Pilot (we’ve been texting back and forth a bit, but no plans to get together again or anything as of now).

The Producer says he will take me out and I can wear my new white dress. 😀 At least I know he will most likely follow through! For my birthday he took me out to an expensive steak house and for a couples massage and had bought me roses and a card as well. He went to a white linen party himself recently and bought white clothes for that too so we could even match, lol. Mr. Firm thought it was pretty fucked up too and said I should send HIM a pic of myself in the dress.

 

I commented to the Pilot “see why I am so sensitive about stuff like that?” and he said “I can understand that but I didn’t have you come all the way up here and change my mind”…which is true.  At least he gave me that much respect and in that sense his behavior is more forgivable.  Thank God I didn’t make a trip up there JUST for that or I would be pissed beyond belief.  I was coming up anyhow to get my hair done by my sis and hang out with the fam.  I’d also made tentative plans with Mr. Firm for the following day.

As it is though, I was mad enough to text him to never bother contacting me again.  I left it at that and said have fun at the concert.  What an ass.  I am so done with him and compared to the hot sex I ended up having with Mr. Firm the next day, he’s really not looking like he was ever much of a catch anyhow.

OMG.  Mr. Firm was beyond fabulous in bed.  He drove up at lunchtime (he’s 30 minutes away from my hometown) and got a cheap motel.  I’d just had my hair done and couldn’t get all the dye off my head but he was cool about that, lmao.  He said the same thing happens to him when he colors his goatee.  He must have gray hairs in it or something, lol.

WOW, did my time with him ever make me feel better!!  😀  I think he has surpassed even the Professor in the bedroom.  He’s almost up there with Mr. Married Man and is probably my second most favorite ever.  I loved every minute of it!!  We fucked twice and were in there for two hours.

He’d told me beforehand to come in the back door because the front desk staff was being nosy about his checking out a room during that time of day.  I’m pretty sure by the time I left there was absolutely nothing left to their imaginations as to what we’d been doing, lmao!  He even said he saw a shadow on the wall from someone standing in front of the door for quite some time while we were having sex, though it was gone by the time we’d finished. 

I was trying to be quiet but it was impossible, lmao, and he was like “just let it go”. 😉  Oh my God, he is good!!!  There is no doubt in my mind that he has had LOTS of practice, haha. 

He texted me afterwards. “That was great.  You fuck me just the way I like.  Amazing.”  He even commented a couple more times how freaking great it was and how he loves the way I fuck.  Apparently it was good for him too!  I have no idea why and it still baffles me that men say that when I don’t feel like I do anything special in bed, but I am thrilled that he likes it!!  Haha

Nothing like getting under one man to get over another.  Soooo glad I had someone to fall back on, because it really did help.  I’m ready to forget the guy I had the affair with and move on.  So much for that.  Unbelievable that he would stoop that low but unless he’s dead or something there really isn’t a good enough excuse.

 

 

Crash landing for the Pilot :(

crash

Well, so much for the Pilot, I guess we are over and done with.  I thought he was this really great guy but my opinion of him has taken a total nosedive.  He really pissed me off and left me upset last night.

First of all, we had plans to go to a party.  His idea, we’d made them Wed. night.  I was excited to come up and see him again and do our thing.  Our couples profile was doing great, with lots of views and winks and people commenting that we were hot and asking to meet up.

Then, Thursday night he texts me and says he has a friend of his that would be interested in hanging out with us and his girl.  He tells me to check out this couple’s profile and that they have sent us their private gallery with face pics.  He says he knows the guy, and he is cool, but never met the woman.

I look at the pics and the guy isn’t bad, probably fuckable, though I’d have to see him in person to know for sure.  The woman, well, not so much.  She was a little below average on looks.  Her profile stated she was 33, but she looked worn and much older, like someone who’s done too many drugs.  Naked, I wasn’t that impressed.  There was something about her that made me wonder about cleanliness.  Like she looked halfway shaven, like she hadn’t taken the time to clean up before a picture and that bugged me a bit. 

I mean, if we are playing with a couple, I am most likely going to have to play with the woman too and don’t want to be grossed out.  I didn’t want to be rude since the guy is his friend, but I wasn’t liking the idea.  So I said “they could be alright, what do you think about her?”  He said “mas o menos, not that excited about her but she is not that bad”.  I told him I was thinking similarly but if he wants to we can.

Then he added that his friend wanted to split the cost of a room and all share together.  His friend was leaving on an airplane early the next morning and had actually asked the Pilot and another guy to fuck her while he was gone.  Okay, that sounded a little weird but it is the Lifestyle, right?

I asked if they were wanting to stay in or go out to the party.  He said he wasn’t sure, that they were signed up for a different party then added that he wasn’t big on the idea of sharing a hotel room.  I admitted I wasn’t really either because that left us stuck with them all night.  He was like “no pressure, we don’t have to hook up with them”.

Then he sent me a text saying that the party we were planning on going to had a lot of people, but they didn’t look that appealing and that his friend keeps calling him.  I said “the people there don’t look that appealing?  And your friend does?  LOL”  What I meant, was he keeps calling?  But a couple minutes later I realized that probably came off as though I meant his friend didn’t look appealing.  It wasn’t his friend that wasn’t appealing to me, but the woman, but I wouldn’t have been that rude anyhow.

I quickly tried to explain what I had meant and he just said “it’s ok”.  He said “not saying he or she is either.  He contacted me today and asked me to fuck her…told him I had plans for Friday but would ask you”.  He said his friend was a little strange for wanting him to fuck his girl while he was gone and he thought it was crazy she agreed to it.  I was like “why wouldn’t she, she gets to fuck two guys, at least one of whom is hawt ;)”.  He said he’d never thought of it that way and I laughed and said I was shaking my head. 

Then I told him that I honestly wasn’t that excited about the idea and thought it would be fun to go out.  He said he felt the same.  I said he could always fuck her after I leave if his friend needs him too and he laughed….then ignored the rest of my texts that evening.  I sent 4, including one asking if he was okay with not hanging out with his friend. I  said we could if he wants.  No response.

It was late so I though he possibly fell asleep and decided not to worry about it.  The next morning I sent a text “so what is the plan for tonight?”  He said he was torn and I asked between what and he said the two parties, the one we had signed up for and the other one, that his friend had signed up for.  I noticed he had used our couples profile to add us to that list too.

He said the first party he’d been told by a good friend, who was a “hot married woman that is all about fucking, single or coupled males so I trust her opinion” that it was a waste of time.  That no one really does anything at that party.  He said the second one was either or, it could be fun or “underwhelming” and not a lot of people had signed up.  I said maybe that one would be more fun then and if it wasn’t we could make it that way, or we could even do something non swingerish- it didn’t matter to me.  There was also another couple that we had spoken with before that lives up there and was interested in getting together with us, people he had chosen.

He mentioned that he liked the party we had been to the last time but it is next weekend and he is going out of town.  I asked what he had told his friend and he said “nothing, I blow him off all the time”.  I said okay then he ignored a handful of texts from me so I was like “I hope I’m not texting you too much at work”.  He said no, you know I enjoy your texts, I was out at lunch for a while”. 

I asked if we were still on for tonight and said I needed to make sure I wouldn’t have to reschedule childcare.  I just had this nagging feeling that he was going to back out on me.  He didn’t answer the question and just asked if I wanted to go to the second party.  I said sure and he asked what time I was planning on coming up.  I told him and didn’t hear back for an hour. 

By this time it was getting close to when I would need to take my kids to their dad’s and leave and he hadn’t said anything about making hotel reservations or anything.  Then he comes out with “Do you mind if I cancel?  I am not feeling it for tonight.”

Wow.  I said I wished he would have told me earlier.  Then I was like “I don’t really see the point of having a couples profile if you aren’t interested in seeing me either???”  No response so I got pissed and said I was going to delete it and called him an asshole.

He sent a text saying “definitely want to see you…just been tired it’s a busy week” right at about the same time I sent that so probably before he read it.  He was like “wow, ok, don’t you think you are overreacting a little?”  I told him no, I don’t think so, he completely disrespected me and my time and I have told him I need to know ahead of time due to childcare arrangements.  I said he kept putting me off and that was rude and hoped he had a lovely time with whoever he’d decided to see instead.

He claimed he wasn’t seeing anyone that he’d been working 10+ hours a day that week and that he wasn’t complaining but he has to pay for the hotel and the party and help with gas money and he was tired.  I said I didn’t know how stupid I look to him but that it was a waste of my time to drive up there to see someone who would cancel on me because he is “tired”, that we both know that is utter bullshit and sorry if it’s too much expense.  Clearly he didn’t find me worth it so no use wasting his time, I never claimed to have a lot of money and am a single mom that has to take care of my kids, that I had told him I might be able to cover my own gas this time (I had).  He was like “Lovergirl, I said I don’t mind….”

I asked why then did he bring it up and said there was really no point in me talking to him and having a couples profile if he’s going to cancel on me the only time all month when we would have a chance to see one another.  I said “I am not an idiot.  I know men don’t cancel on a chance to have fun and sex with a woman because they are “tired”.  You found more exciting plans for the night, enjoy”.

He responded “I can’t change what you think but you are so wrong”.  I called bullshit and told him to have a nice life.  Then I went and deleted the couples profile and blocked him from mine.  Not 5 minutes later I went to look at the list of the 2nd party, the one where his friend had been going and sure enough, he was signed up for it, with his OWN profile..

By now I was livid so I texted him and told him I saw that and called him a liar.  He tried to say he did that after I blocked him, which I think he did but why would you do that if you were “too tired” to go to a party?  I pointed that out and he called me “childish” and said “this isn’t Romper room”.  I said there is nothing childish about pointing out that I was being lied to and treated like shit and that I hoped he had fun at the party.  He again tried to come in with “I signed up after you blocked me” as if that changed anything.

I thanked him for ruining my plans for the weekend since my ex was now saying he couldn’t take them overnight the next night.  He said “ok, so I guess you would rather me just hang out with you tired and all, but at least that way you could have fun, right?”.  I can’t believe he was still trying to claim to be “tired” after I’d seen he signed up for a party!!  What a fucktard.  Men really think women will believe some stupid shit.

I said you have no problems going tired without me!! But whatever I’m not going to play games, you really hurt my feelings.  Hope it’s more fun without me.  He said “you can think whatever, I am going to bed”.  This was at 5:30 pm.

I got pretty pissed at him and told him off.   By now I was crying and upset but told him sorry he didn’t enjoy my company enough to want to hang out and have a great night it was fun for a little while.  He said “so what, would you rather cum up here and let me fuck you in front of everyone?”  I told him no way in hell would I stoop that low, that he has me fucked up if he thinks I am one of these pathetic women who would come running after a guy who didn’t want to see me in the first place.  That I would have been happy to do that before, but not now.  Fool me once, okay but the second time I would be my own fault.

I added that I had someone asking me out to dinner Sat (the Producer) and would rather try and work out childcare for that than waste my time with someone who’d just treated me like dirt.  I asked him to delete the pictures of us he has on his profile and our video and he claimed he would but as far as I can see he has not gotten rid of the pics off his profile.  I should have left it there but I was pissed off and told him off a few more times.  He claimed he was sitting at home, just reading my “rants” at like 10:30 and I said that was funny since he was so tired he was going to bed at 5:45.  Ugh.  What a fucking LOSER. 

Who knows what he decided to do instead?  Hang out with his friend and the not so attractive woman?  Or someone else at that party.  I can’t believe he pulled this shit on me when I thought he was so great.  I am so done with his sorry ass and sorry I fell for it.  I cried a lot last night.  You’d think it wouldn’t affect me so much since I’m really not “in love” with him at this point but I guess I had a lot of hope with the way things were going.  Better now than farther down the road I guess.

Tonight the Producer is taking me out to a dinner theatre.  I’m not that excited about it and my eyes are totally red and swollen but I am going to go anyway.  Anything to keep my mind off this.  I haven’t talked to the Professor since the other day and he is probably still all hurt thinking I’m with this other guy.  If only he knew. 😦