Tag Archive | anal

My fantasies come true!

arrival

So remember last time, how positively SURE I was that I had found evidence that the CEO is married? I’m struggling now, with doubts. What if I was wrong?

Yes, I found a picture of him, posted shortly before we met, with his wedding ring on, the mother of his child and her family. That should be proof enough, shouldn’t it? You would think.

Only, he’s just so CONVINCING when he talks to me. Can a man really be THAT good of a liar?! This most recent rendezvous, he mentioned his “ex” (and he calls her that) several times. He even made a comment, saying “that’s why I left her”.

He also told me he’d been in China. I’d assumed he was lying because Tinder showed him as being 10 miles away during that time. Yet, when we got together again, he was COMPLAINING about having to haggle for prices when he was in China. If he’s a liar, he’s a damn good one!

What if….what if I’m completely wrong about him? What if that picture was taken previously and someone just re-posted it? Could I be convincing myself he’s a cheater because of my general mistrust of men? Maybe its easier for me to believe he is untrustworthy, than to open myself up to the possibility of getting hurt.

Perception is such a big thing. I could be making up an elaborate story in my head, because it fulfills some sort of fantasy for ME. Maybe the idea of a torrid, illicit, affair just turns me on! 😉 Or maybe, I’m totally on the mark and just trying to make excuses for him because I like him so much. :p He DOES behave like a married man and I haven’t ever been to his place!

There is just something deliciously sexy about the idea of sleeping with a taken man. So sue me, I get wet over the naughtiness of it all! Playing the mistress role for a little bit can feel kind of… intoxicating.

Sigh…in any case our last rendezvous was absolutely DREAMY! 🙂 He was doing work in a southern state and he decided to fly me to him for a hot overnight! Unfortunately, I couldn’t make arrangements to stay longer, since he notified me at the last minute, but he had said I could stay for up to a week.

I hadn’t heard from him in like 3 weeks and he just popped up out of the blue and suggested this trip. He didn’t really even ASK if I wanted to come, just stated that he was planning on flying me out on Saturday to be with him. Fortunately, I happened to have the weekend free!

He did mention that he’d been in China, and he said he’d missed me. I never know though, with him, whether I will hear from him or not. I don’t go out of my way to contact him, just wait and see what happens. Telling myself he is married at least gives me a way to make sense out of it all.  Meanwhile, he’s the fantasy mystery guy.

It was so exciting and I felt like a princess!! He flew me business select and I got to be practically the first person on the plane each time. I don’t know if he paid or used his companion miles but I saw what the tickets cost when he sent me the choices for when I could come and return. Two one way tickets, would have been about $700. Not that that’s probably not pocket change to HIM, lol, but it would be a big deal to me!

I love, love, love traveling, even when its just a short little jaunt to someplace new! It’s so fun for me and I don’t get to do it often. When I arrived, he took me out to a really nice seafood restaurant for dinner too! Yum!!

The discussion was interesting and he really is a fascinating man. He’s like an extreme caricature of what I would consider “masculine”. Sometimes I find his thinking to be very overly logical and black and white, but he is incredibly intelligent and it shows.

He’s also so, so, soooo incredibly masculine and dominant in the bedroom!! He’s absolutely PERFECT in the sack. WOW! I can’t get over how much he turns me on!! He’s like the perfect combination of super dominant and super giving, that I absolutely LOVE!

He’s so good that I still let him go for anal, even though it hurts like hell and we haven’t been able to do it for very long, lol. 😉 It’s still not my favorite activity but by the time he tries it I’m usually drowning in oxytocin and wanting to give him anything and everything.

The last time (not this one) he even brought lube, and a toy! He said Trojan had been at some convention he was at and he bought this little vibrator. It was awesome!! He pulled it out and surprised me during sex, whispering in my ear that he had gotten me a little surprise. Just the tone of his voice when he said that to me STILL gives me tingles all through my pussy.

It was brand new, in the box. He ended up having to go and get a knife to open it, lol. Yet, he didn’t give it to me afterwards. I wonder what he did with it? Did he give it to his wife? Another woman? Throw it away? Hmmmm….haha

Anyway, he used it on me in multiple ways during sex and it felt sooo good. Then he lubed up my ass and used it on my clit during anal. It probably made it a little easier but it still hurt and I still bled after. We didn’t do it for very long.

This time, on our trip, we didn’t do all that, but I FINALLY got to experience HIM having an orgasm. He didn’t even cum with me the first 4 times we had sex, even after HOURS of fucking and blow jobs. I was trying to play it cool but it had me a little worried!

This time he came, after a nice long blow job and then thrusting really hard and fast while I was on my stomach. I figure maybe he was afraid to be that rough with me in the beginning. He’s super focused on getting ME off most of the time and probably needed to relax enough to be a bit selfish for a change, and get HIS.

Lest you think the sex was short this time, it wasn’t.  It was down to about 3 1/2 hours though, versus the 5 or 8 the last few times.  It was still amazing and we did have a little anal, though not for too long.  Did I mention how incredibly fantastic he is at going down on me?? Oh MY GOD!  Lol  So many men let that slack after a while.  He even licked my asshole. 😉  No qualms… I love guys like that!

In any case, I was relieved! He came all over my back and down the crack of my ass. Ahhhh… sweet satisfaction! 😉 He cuddled afterwards and was a gentleman all the way till the time he dropped me back off to go home, always opening my car door and all the little things we women love. 🙂 I’m still walking on air…

On another note, I heard again from the Cohort. He texted me at the beginning of the year and said he was thinking of me. He was halfway across the country for a relative’s wedding and it said it made him appreciate me and the time he had with me.

It felt good to hear that, but like every other time he has contacted me, it ended in reliving a lot of grief and pain. It just hurts so much to know he still thinks of me and cares, but not ENOUGH.

I’m still spending a fair amount of time with Radioman. I saw him the day before I left on the plane but I never told him I went anywhere. We see each other at least once a week and often more.

Its funny, sometimes he says things like how he misses having a woman at home, someone to cook for him, to be there to share his day with, to be part of his everyday life. I’m not sure if he’s hinting about that with ME, or not? I like him a lot but I just don’t know if I could go there. There are so many things, like his love of gambling and the way he’s like most men and would not want ME with anyone else, but might end up there himself!

Still, I really do enjoy him and the sex is good. We’ve seen a little more of each other lately because he got my employer to agree to a collaboration with the radio station for the next couple of months. It’s been fun seeing him in a professional setting, as well as in his bed. 😉

Most of the others have fallen by the wayside, at least for the time being. I’m okay with that, especially since its been cold and wintery and I feel more like cuddling in than going out on new dates or with new men. Hope 2016 is going well for all of you!!

I’m anal about anal, but(t)….

Anal_Warning

Okay, so I have never been into anal sex.  My first experiences with it were not pleasant and I generally tell my lovers I am not interested.  Still, I’ve never completely discounted that I might do it for *some* guy, at *some* point, if I liked him enough and he was careful.

Most of the men I have been with haven’t pushed it.  They might make suggestive comments once in a while, or ask, but when they see my lack of interest they let it drop, or never actually follow through.  I’ve been especially happy with the men in my life who have done it but aren’t all that into it and don’t even try. 

What can I say?  I know in this day and age it is practically prude not to want anal but it’s just not something that gets me excited.  I don’t even like a finger up there.  Ouch.

Actually, there was a guy once, a long, long time ago, who used to like to stick his finger up there while I was riding him.  It wasn’t so bad and at times I even enjoyed it. I don’t remember it hurting.  Yet when someone tries now, it does.  Go figure.  Maybe the guys I am with now just have bigger fingers?  Hmmm…

As for actual anal, the first time I had it I was 13.  Yes, you read that right.  It was with the first guy I ever had sex with.  We were having sex in a public sauna, near the swimming pool in a hotel, and he suddenly decided to stick his dick in there.  He tried to talk me into it, a little, AS he was doing it, but mostly just shoved it in.  All the way in…. and started pounding.

I got dizzy and lightheaded.  Not to mention it HURT.  I begged him to stop.  Afterwards I nearly threw up.  It wasn’t fun.  My body was nowhere near ready to handle anything like that.  We were young and I have no idea how big his dick was but I would guess somewhere between 7-8 inches.  He wasn’t small.

My second experience, I was 16.  I was seeing that crazy drug dealer guy I have mentioned a few times before, and he would have been like 21-22 at the time.  This guy was ROUGH in bed.  Really, too rough for my liking, to begin with.  The anal, he totally took me by surprise.

I was bent over the bed and we were going at it, when he pulled out and just RAMMED it up my ass.  HARD.  And kept going. My body practically went into shock.  I had a very similar reaction, in that I got so dizzy and lightheaded I nearly fainted, and then felt like I was going to vomit.  I don’t mean just KIND of “felt like,” either time.  I was doubled over and not feeling well for quite a while.

Since then there has been nothing attractive to me about the idea of anal.  Nothing.  Add fear of having my asshole stretched out, or getting hemorrhoids and possible disgusting messes, and yuck…   

On top of that, I have heard some real horror stories regarding anal experiences.  One was actually from a guy who is really into it and was sharing an experience that his roommate had.  According to him, this girl had some issue of backed up constipation.  In a drunken state, she and this guy had anal sex, that ended up in crap, ALL.OVER. THEIR. APARTMENT.   He told me the story in way too much gory detail and I don’t even want to share or you’ll all be retching over your keyboards.  Nasty. 

Being someone who is kind of obsessed with personal hygiene, this stuff REALLY did not appeal to me.  Then there were the stories of enemas.  I guess some women take the time to take THOSE before engaging in anal, you know, to keep it more “clean”.

 Um, the ONLY time I have ever used an enema was before labor was induced with my very first child.  No thanks to my mother in law, who offered this advice, I thought that would help make labor and delivery easier.  Please.  I have had four babies since then and that experience was by far my most difficult.  Never again will I take an enema.  It didn’t help with jack during labor and instead left me doubled over in massive pain, lying on the bathroom floor (but still not in labor) when I needed to get to the hospital for an induction. 

So we’ve pretty much established that I have a “no thanks, I’ll pass” general reaction to anal advances.  If you read my story of my first swinger party, you’ll know a man tried to stick it up there during my first six-some and I wasn’t too thrilled with that either. Still, I know it makes SOME guys happy and that a lot of people are really into it.  I’ve heard stories of women who loved it or even had orgasms from it and sure, I’m still a little curious. 

I’ve been curious if, as an adult and with someone more skilled and careful, my experiences might be different.  I’m still put off by some things (like shitty stories) but there was nothing nasty in either of my previous anal adventures, so I know it isn’t something that HAS to happen.

Keep in mind I’m pretty prim and proper most of the time when it comes to even DISCUSSING anything to do with bathroom habits.  I prefer to pretend it’s not something I ever do, being a “lady” and all.  Heck, I won’t even use terms like “shit” in real life and it’s even hard to type, lol.  People “use the restroom”, they don’t “take a dump” or “crap” or do disgusting things like that.

With all that out of the way, let me tell you what happened today.  I had a date with the Referee, who has been driving this way about once a week for a lunch date.  He again got a room at the Marriot and took me out to lunch at Applebee’s.    It was kind of freaky because the waitress, who waited on us the last time we were there, three weeks ago, said she remembered me ordering exactly the same thing.  Nevermind that I hadn’t remembered my exact order, or even the fact that she had waited on us before, lol.  Wow.  It wasn’t anything unusual or altered from the main menu either.  Crazy.

On the drive over he was playing porn on the dashboard, he said to “get me in the mood”.  Haha…as if I needed that. 😉  He kept telling me how much he likes me, how I have him “addicted” so much that he is driving a couple hours just to see me and getting obsessed.  Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that before.

He said you aren’t supposed to get this way in the Lifestyle and he knows that but that he has it bad.  He keeps telling me he wants me to be his “wife” and then saying “I’m not trying to scare you though”.  I *think* he is kidding?  :p  When I told him about the party I went to recently he says of course no guy is ever going to want to share me if we are together.  He says I have that “effect” on men and that is going to make it hard for me to swing.

Oh, and he was claiming later, after sex, that he likes me so much that he has pretty much stopped having sex with whoever else he was sleeping with.  But then he let some comment drop about how this woman he normally sleeps with was complaining that he normally nuts 3+ times in a session and that he must be giving it all away to a “younger, hotter, girl”.  Yeah…still trying to discern how full of it he is but I guess you never really know with men.  Some of them just looove to talk like they are all about you, when they are not. 

I’m leery.  But I do like him a lot.  I just don’t want to fall for all the stuff I know I have a tendency to fall for, and he’s really laying it on thick!  He’s like “I want to be your Daddy”, “I want to take care of you”, “you make me want you all to myself”, “I’ve been liking you for a year and a half”, “You’re so beautiful and I like you so much I could wife you up”, “if I’m not careful I am going to want you to have my baby”, “I’m gonna have to get snipped so I won’t want to make you pregnant”, “I don’t want to just fuck when we are together, you are too beautiful for that, I want to treat you special”, “other girls aren’t like you” and “I get depressed when you leave”.  He’s even told me “I love you” a couple times, in bed.

I’m trying really hard to keep all his words from affecting me because I know men say things they don’t mean. It’s just so hard sometimes to be able to tell.  He calls me a couple times a day and likes to call first thing in the morning too.

Anyhow, back to anal.  That’s another thing he’s been on.  Wanting to be the only guy who I am willing to have anal with.  I’ve suspected since the beginning he was angling for that and he’s made it pretty obvious with the stuff he does during sex to try and “prep” me. 

He’ll get his tongue all up in there and spit on it during sex and try and slide his finger around the hole.  He’s asked about anal in the past, and that was the first thing he wanted to know if I’d done with the other guy at the swinger party.  He said I should save it for “Daddy” and then was like “just kidding” but it was obvious he wasn’t really.

Surprise, surprise, this time he went for it.  Before our second round of sex he brought out a vibrator.  It was a vibrating dildo, with a smooth gold surface, but no attachment for the clit, like the one I have.  He put it in me and turned it on.  I’m not sure how much the vibrations actually do INSIDE me because it doesn’t feel like much but it still felt good. 

He moved it in and out and eventually started playing with my ass, licking and eventually trying to stick a finger in it.  He went in for regular sex with me on my stomach, while getting things extra wet, playing with his finger and with the vibrator in front. 

Later, he slid his dick out and started rubbing it around my asshole.  He slowly started trying to ease his way in.  I tensed up a bit but didn’t resist.  He was sweet talking me a bit and promising only to put in “just the head” (yeah, yeah, we all heard that one in high school).  After moving it in and out just a little bit, with the head, he grabbed a bottle of Liquid Silk and started pouring it on. 

That helped it get in just a little bit further, but not much.  He held me still for a while with it in place and would start to move but I’d whimper and he’d pull back a tiny bit or go in just a little bit more.  He maybe got a third of his dick in after a while and was slowly rocking back and forth.  At one point he said he was going to cum, but didn’t.

Then he pulls out and goes RIGHT IN MY VAGINA.  OMG.  I am totally freaking out, thinking he is going to give me some kind of bacterial infection, but I didn’t say anything and he finished off.  I’m still trying to decide how to tactfully bring up to him that I don’t want him to EVER do THAT again.  I am REALLY susceptible to infections, even as a kid I was super sensitive to soaps or bubble baths or anything in that area and have always had to be very careful and hygienic. 

We cleaned up and had a couple more rounds of sex.  He tried to go in my ass again but it was SORE (and still is, hours later) so it wasn’t working.  Since I left, he has texted asking if I am going to let him put it all the way in and that that would make him happy.  Yeah, well, we will see… 

Just a little bit ago Mr. Motorcycle texted and I was busy writing this blog.  He asked if I was getting my freak on and I said “I wish”.  I didn’t mention the fact that I saw the Referee today, because he’s asked me not to tell him if I sleep with other guys.  His response was “yeah, you save that shit for me”.  I was like “is that what you want?” and he said that is one of the things he wants.  I thought we’d gone over this.  Sigh….