Archives

Communication with the Cohort

pillow-talk-toni-thorne

 

I’ve been hanging out with the Cohort quite a bit lately. Last night we went to a swinger party. I’m really liking him and the way he handles situations with me. We seem to be on the same page about a lot of things.

He SEEMS to be indicating that he wants a more “serious” relationship with me. By “serious” I do not mean “monogamous”. A lot of the things he says and does, though, seem to indicate he wants something more long term. I’m okay with that. Very okay with that. 🙂 But I’m not going to push it.

I’m excited, but tentative. I know there are a lot of things that might hold a man back from wanting anything other than just sex with me. Still, so far he does not seem intimidated, so we will see. He keeps saying I seemed to have come into his life at just the right time, when he was on the fence regarding monogamy vs. swinging. I guess I’m like the perfect compromise. 😉

We had a good talk before going to the party. Our final decision was that we would be free to play separately, rather than try to find the perfect people to play with together. No handcuffing one another. We COULD also play together if there were a group situation going down. He even let me know he’d be okay with threesomes, whether they were with me and another girl, or me and another guy (see why I’m liking this guy??). If one of us were going off or using the hotel room (the party was held at a hotel), we’d text to let the other know where we were at.

He got a room with double beds, one would be for play and the other kept clean for us to sleep on. At the end of the night it would be just he and I in there and no one else allowed to stay. If any gangbang situations went down, I probably wouldn’t be a part of it, though he might.

I didn’t even tell him about the gangbang thing the other night. A couple of guys (including Mr. Firm) advised me not to if I’m thinking more serious with him. I’m not obligated to tell him what I do at this point outside of at parties, and why risk possibly upsetting him?

So I said nothing about that, BUT he knows I have had negative experiences in the past. We’ve talked about it. What’s kind of ironic is that he’s been in a LOT of gangbangs. Like, more than your average Joe, haha. He was involved in some things that actually ended up being a big scandal that I can’t talk about on my blog. In any case, it was all consensual and not pushed. I like that he has been very open with me about that.

Anyhow, in keeping with the gangbang theme, some kind of crazy stuff came out right before this party went down last night. In fact, right after we pulled up to the hotel and were walking across the parking lot to check in. SOMEHOW, we had gotten to talking about this girl he used to date that went to my high school. Through her, he had met some people from my hometown.

He just happened to bring up, this one guy he said he had met, who really got on his nerves. There was some situation where he happened to be in a bar, with the ex girlfriend from my town, but they were no longer dating. He had temporarily broken up with this other girl he was dating and she happened to be there too.

Okay, so THIS GUY was trying to hit on her and telling the Cohort he was going to get her, without knowing that it was a girl he had been seeing. I guess he wasn’t saying because he was there with the other girl. In any case she was shutting him down (I’m guessing more because he was there watching than anything ) and dude was really starting to get to him.

ANYHOW, this is all important only because guess who the guy was??? The freaking guy I was IN LOVE with way back when I was 18, (before I met my ex husband) and who massively hurt me by trying to push me into a gangbang when we were dating.

I mean it was awful. We were in a hotel room, I was naked, because I’d had sex with him. These other guys (10-15 of them) had come in the room and they stole my clothes. I didn’t end up doing anything with them because I started crying and asking him not to let them touch me. He finally ended up telling them to back off, putting his clothes on me and driving me home in his underwear. But not after trying to coerce me into doing it by telling me if I “really loved” him I would.

It was pretty traumatic at the time. I don’t even like talking about it too much here on my blog because I know a lot of people would not understand some of it or why I would even have fallen for this guy in the first place. He was also there when I was 15 and the first time I ever actually got involved in a gangbang.

That time it was most definitely not something I wanted to do. He was the one standing there saying “man, she’s scared, I don’t want to do this” over and over again, but he’d gone along with it. He was 19 at the time, at least one of the other guys was 21…I don’t even want to get into it. The reason it is even relevant is that he brought it up in the second scenario (after we’d continued fucking for 3 years) and was like “you’ve done it before” as part of his reasoning that I would do it again.

Please, if you are reading this and it upsets you, I understand, but don’t tell me what I “should” have done in those situations or regarding dating him later on. I know. I was young and made a lot of bad decisions that I can’t go back and change now. Like it or not, a few years down the road I fell in love with this guy, and I mean hard. It took me years to get over what happened with him.

Honestly, I don’t think he did much better. He would try to sabotage my dating other guys after that. Like any time he would see me out at a club or something, he would try to get the guy alone and tell him I had a boyfriend, make threats to him, or tell lies about me to keep him away. He even did that to the guy I had the affair with (who is his half brother, complicated, I know).

He tries to malign me. 20 years later. Its all kinds of fucked up. Especially because he will still like, poke me on Facebook. He did it again a couple of days ago. He’s tried asking me out for drinks too and I shut him down in sort of a mean way (not that he didn’t deserve it). Yet I’ve been friendly other times and even have him on my Facebook page. Don’t ask, lol. It will never make sense. I made the mistake of having sex with him ONE time, after the incident too, despite everything. It was the day before I went away for college and I haven’t seen him since.

Ugh. I’m sure that was painful to read. It paints my decisions in a pretty bad light (and they were) as well as the guys involved. That may be true but I was young and dumb and sometimes you just do stupid stuff.

SO, when the Cohort brought him up I was like OMG, no…not him…hahahaha. Of ALL freaking people! When I first said I knew him he asked “did you fuck him?” and said he had heard this guy was running through all kinds of women. I said yes and he said (jokingly-not serious at all) “Man, I just lost a little bit of respect for you”. I told him that doesn’t even scratch the surface and let him drag it out of me that we had dated.

Later on, sometime in the middle of the night, and after some drinks, we got to talking about this again and it all came out. The whole story about this guy. To my relief, he took it like a champ. 😉 He wasn’t bothered by it at all and didn’t bat an eye when I said I’d gone back and fucked him again or any of the other messed up stuff.

His reaction was “you are ‘well traveled’…I like that about you, you’re a good girl” (makeout session) Ha… He said the only person it made him think worse of is the guy, who he already didn’t like, lol. He said it helped him understand my leeriness towards the whole gangbang thing too, that none of the ones he has been involved with had ever been like that. The women always were fully on board.

It felt good to get all that off my chest, to someone who wasn’t judgmental about it. A lot of men would be. Apparently not him though. He reminds me a little bit of Mr. Firm. I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot between the two of them, for real. 🙂

I mentioned Mr. Firm to him, briefly, because there is a very slight possibility he could be at this lake party we are planning to go to soon. I wanted him to know if he is, that is someone I’d definitely want to have some time with. His reaction was “I can tell you like this guy by the tone of your voice” lol. I said well, yeah, he is a good guy and I don’t have a negative word to say about him. He just said he was glad that I was associating with good men now (yeah, he still doesn’t know about that other night, but whatever, I’m done with Cousin 3 and his crew for sure).

So, its all good. The party went pretty well. He played but I didn’t. It was with a woman I knew he would play with beforehand, a married woman he has known longer than me. For a minute it bothered me, even though I knew it shouldn’t, and he didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve met her before and she seems nice and not catty or competitive.

I know she likes him and also that she fucked like 5 other men earlier in the week. He said he wasn’t going to lie that kind of threw HIM off for a bit even though they aren’t like boyfriend/girlfriend but any time you are fucking someone it can mess with your emotions a bit. I get that, totally. I think probably everyone has feelings like that, even though hearing about him feeling jealous over someone else maybe gave me a little twinge too. Things can get kind of complicated in the Lifestyle, lol.

Afterwards, he made a point of paying attention to, and reconnecting with me, so that helped. He wanted to talk about how I felt about it and said he’d kind of rushed things with her and not even cum because he was worried about getting back to me. So we still have some things to iron out there, but its nice to have open communication about it.

I COULD have played but I chose not to. While he was gone I danced and talked with another guy but I just wasn’t feeling him. He didn’t appear to be trying to get me back to his room at first and was just talking about taking me to dinner (eyeroll) and I admit a part of me wanted to push for it, just to even the “score” and because the Cohort was fucking someone and it felt unfair. Despite those passing thoughts, when the dude jokingly slipped his hotel room key down the cleavage of my dress, I didn’t bite. I didn’t want to play with someone just for that reason.

Anyhow, I got lots of playtime in with the Cohort that night as well as talking about everything under the sun. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping going on, lol. We went out for breakfast in the morning and I’m feeling pretty good about it all.

Sampling the Continental Platter

Image

I’ve slept with 7 different guys in the past 2 weeks, though only one was brand new. That doesn’t even count the Married Man, who I haven’t had a chance to fuck lately,or the Host, who hit me up, but I’ve kind of avoided.

I’m starting to wonder if I should slow it down. Not that I mind all the sex, but part of me wonders if this is really okay, or if my sex sprees are unhealthy. Then again, maybe I’m just buying into society’s unfair standards for sexual behavior, especially when it comes to women.

Granted, there were a couple of sexual experiences in there that I didn’t really enjoy. Still I wouldn’t have known that for sure unless I tried them. For example, the Englishman.

I met this guy off the swinger site. He had attractive, professional looking pictures and said something about how he speaks 4 different languages. When he emailed I was already drowning in dick, but I was like this guy is kinda hot, why not?

So I responded, by text, while I was sitting in the shop waiting on my vehicle to be fixed. Then I promptly forgot about it. Mere minutes later, as I was driving, I recieved a call from an unknown number. The caller ID showed a suspicious looking, foreign sounding, name.

When I answered I wasn’t particularly friendly. I was thinking it was probably some Nigerian scam artist. I hadn’t realized from the guy’s pictures that he was not an American. He identified himself and said that he is from England. His accent seemed to prove that. He’d just moved here 7 months ago, supposedly to go to law school.

He was sort of abrupt and didn’t want to beat around the bush. He wanted to meet for sex and I hemmed and hawed for a minute because of his lack of manners or attempts to get to know me first. He said he found me attractive and didn’t I like his pictures and we should get together to fuck.

I commented, “but you haven’t even seen my face yet”. He didn’t think that mattered and just wanted to meet up. I found an excuse to get off the phone and ignored several of his other calls and texts, over the next few days, while I thought about it. I responded to some of them but he was seeming pushy and I don’t like that.

Okay, his pictures were attractive enough. He had a few validations on the site but mostly they just said he was the man in the pictures, or that they had met him at a party. Still, why not? What was holding me back? He was right, he was attractive enough to fuck on a physical level, and then you have the added excitement of someone new and different, from another country, and even with a kind of cool accent.

I decided to go ahead and give it a whirl, but I said I would need to meet him someplace in public first. He wasn’t real thrilled with that but said we could meet at a Starbucks near his house. I got an address from him and put it in the GPS on my phone.

I don’t know why it didn’t register that he probably wouldn’t have the exact street address for Starbucks but I was confused when my GPS took me to an apartment complex instead. Grrrr…. He met me in the parking lot.

I said I thought we were going to Starbucks first and he said oh yeah, we could. Did I want to follow him or could he just ride with me? I’m thinking, this motherfucker does not have a car and this is his little game to get me to give him a ride. So I said I’d rather follow him (to see what he would do). He said, come on, couldn’t I see he was a decent guy?

I begrudginly relented, after a bit of begging, and let him in my van. He didn’t even know where a Starbucks was, but said his roommate told him there was one close by. I put it in my GPS and the closest one was 8 minutes away. He tried to wheedle his way out of going but I wasn’t about to let him get away without at least a $3 drink, after all that.

He paid for our drinks, though I suspect he was less than thrilled about it, and we sat down at a table outside. According to him, he is 33, works as a personal trainer and does a little modeling on the side. When pressed about law school, he claimed he is studying to take the Bar exam online.

He was very proud of the pictures he has on the site and was like “now can you see that is really me?” I was wondering why I would even doubt that. I mean they look professional but what was the big deal? He said he is doing a shoot for GQ in 3 months, in New York, and has to spend a lot of time getting ready.

I mean, okay, I can believe that part, I guess. The pics he has on there do look a bit GQish. My former brother in law works as a personal trainer/model and is poor as hell on his own (though he has a rich boyfriend). He travels to New York for stuff like that too and is in magazines like Men’s Health.

Whatever. I mean I can see that he has features that some of those magazines would appreciate but I know guys I think are hotter that aren’t “models”. His conceit and incessant bragging were annoying too. He asked me if he was my “type,” obviously referring to his looks and I was like uh, I guess, though I don’t really know what your personality is like yet. He couldn’t understand and said I was gorgeous and clearly his type.

I asked about swinger parties he has been to and he claimed he never has. He said he doesn’t need those to get laid and all he has to do is walk into a bar and the women are all over him. He’d only signed up because of a friend telling him about it and wasn’t impressed. I guess he forgot there are people saying they met him at a party, ON his profile!

He claimed he’d just had a threesome a couple of days ago, with two women. They thought he was so hot that they had invited him back to their house. A likely story….

We finished our drinks and he suggested we go back to his place so I could give him a massage. Inwardly, I was rolling my eyes. EVERY single time a guy has suggested starting things off with a massage for HIM, he has turned out to suck in bed. I should have known, and I suspected, but I went along with it anyhow.

Why? I don’t know. I wasn’t that impressed with him. I guess it was because I was already there, he was decent enough looking and I was curious to see how an English guy was in bed? Maybe he would surprise me? Sorry, folks from the UK, but he didn’t represent, lol. You all may have to help him out here…

He had an average looking apartment, which he said he shared with a guy from Israel who wasn’t there at the moment. We went directly back to his room, where he put some music on his notepad and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He lay on the bed and told me it was all mine and I could come and get it.

God, he was so full of himself. Like he thought he was just supposed to lie there and display his dick and I would get all excited about it. Modeling, for me. Yippeeee…..

I had to push him to wear a condom, but he did. He asked if he had the biggest dick I’d ever seen. Uh, yeah, sure, lol. I mean he was bigger than average but nothing I’ve never experienced before.

It was over quickly and somewhere in there he called himself my “boy”. Ack! Afterwards, he wanted to cuddle and tell me that he was thinking about a serious relationship. HELP! I wanted to get out of there sooo badly, lol. He said he was developing feelings and falling for me, even though he wasn’t expecting that.

According to him the sex was incredible. I always wonder about that. Can it really be that great for one person and not the other? I have my doubts.

Come on dude. More like you want a green card. Or a sugar mama, at the very least. NOT gonna happen. WRONG woman, lol. The last thing I want is a “boy”.

I ignored his calls and texts after and thankfully there were only a couple. I was afraid he’d be the stalker type. Whew.

There are more stories to tell but I don’t have time at the moment. Bad sex with the Bodybuilder, who also wants something serious with me, as does the Poly guy (similar experience number two with him and his girlfriend), and the other guy, who I will call Mr. Shady, he claims to want to commit to me too, after he and his girlfriend break up, in a few months. Give me a break!

My commitment issues are going into overdrive. I don’t want ANYBODY tying me down right now!! Did I seriously write something about wanting “more” not too long ago? SMFH…. What was I thinking??

The guys that I am happiest with are mostly taken already. What’s sad is that is sort of a relief for me.

Well, other than the Cohort. When we are together he is making me laugh so hard my sides hurt too. I mean, I could see something more there and he has kind of hinted at it but he already knows what I am up to and is doing his own thing as well, so I don’t think I have to worry about being overly restricted there.

He’s like “you are like a guy when it comes to sex”. LOL I feel that way sometimes too. I don’t think I am masculine in most ways, but sometimes I wonder if my sex drive is abnormal. I’ve always felt like I wanted it just as much, or more than the guys I have been with.

I know there are other women out there in a similar boat, but they seem few and far between. Or maybe they are just covering it up better. I do hear some wild stories about swinger women.

I actually felt kind of prude the other day when a couple of different people were talking about tying me up and I didn’t feel comfortable. I’ve always kind of wanted to try that but I’m paranoid unless its someone I feel safe with and trust. Comparatively, it seems like a lot of these swinger women are doing all kinds of wild and crazy things all the time.

Seems like every time I hear about a swinger woman she’s tied up and having an anal gangbang with complete strangers, while they slap her in the face and call her a bitch. Mr. Firm says that’s just because I only hear the extreme stories and most women aren’t doing that. I guess he would know. 😉 The Cohort says if he ever meets a woman who wants an anal gangbang he is going to pick up the phone and call me right then and there, lol.

So maybe what I’m imagining in my head and comparing myself to, isn’t reality. I still haven’t been tied up or handcuffed, but maybe someday. The Cohort did have me wear a collar during sex the other day, lmao.

I came over and he had two wine glasses sitting on the coffee table for us, each one inside a studded leather collar. One said “slut” and the other said “bitch”. He said “pick one” and I was like oookayyy…I’ll take “slut,” I guess, lol. He said, “I knew it! Everyone picks that one”. “Everyone??” I asked. You have “everyone” that comes over here wear that?? He shook his head at me and said no, not “everyone” but a select few. Haha

I finally put it on though, along with the body stocking he had gotten me off Amazon, that looks like this (I picked it out-its crotchless with cute little bows up the back). He thought it looked hot and we had fun, but no tying up, yet…. 😉

Keeping it in the family

wayans brothers

 

So here I am in bed, kissing this complete stranger that Mr. Host had sent in to “take care of” me, another one of his cousins.  I was a bit peeved at Mr. Host, not only for ignoring me, but now he was giving me to someone else to fuck?  It was confusing, yet, I was excited too. 

The new guy was hot, better looking than either of his other cousins, and I liked his demeanor.  I was turned on by the concept, that I was about to fuck this guy I had never even met.  I wasn’t about to say no.

He was kissing me, one hand in my hair and the other between my legs, rubbing against the satin fabric.  He said “you’ve got a phat pussy under there, I can feel it.  I can’t wait to be inside you”.  He pulled off his boxers and tugged at my pajama pants, letting me take them, and my top, the rest of the way off, as he slid on a condom.  “I am looking forward to seeing this big, black, dick against that white skin” he said, as he watched me undress.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked a white girl” he claimed as he was sliding his way in.  “MMMmmm, I can’t keep my hands out your hair…and you have such beautiful eyes.”  “God, you are so fucking tight”.  He kept telling me he couldn’t believe his good luck, happening to have stopped by at his cousin’s house.

The sex was good.  He was well endowed, though not exceptionally so.  You could tell he knew what he was doing.  Halfway through he was saying “this pussy is so good, I am definitely getting your number” and talking about how he wanted to come down to see me on his motorcycle.  He was thrilled when I told him I’ll be moving up that way soon.

At some point, not long after we started, I heard someone in the hallway, using the restroom.  You could hear a door open and close and the fan being turned on.  It made me wonder who was out there?  Had the Host and those other people even left?

After having me bend over on my hands and knees for a bit, he flipped me onto my back and said “I’m gonna fuck that ass now”.  I said “No, no, no, I don’t want that” and he was like “are you sure?  I seen it winking at me”.  I laughed “NO, it was definitely not winking at you”. He teased “oh yes it was, I saw when you were bent over the bed, it was giving me the eye”.  I said I’d done it before I just don’t like it.  His response was “you just haven’t been with a man who knows how to do it right”.  “But I bet all the guys say that to you, don’t they?” He laughed.  I said yep, that is exactly what they say!  Lmao.

He said my pussy was good enough that he wasn’t gonna really care one way or the other, and went back to fucking me again.  Towards the end he asked if it was okay to cum on my face and I said just don’t get it in my eyes.  So he pulled out and was pretending to spell out his initials on my face with his dick as he came, lmao.  He was like “I’ve gotta leave my mark on that”.

He cuddled with me for a bit and asked if I’d fucked the Host yet tonight.  I said no, and he couldn’t believe he’d let him come in there first.  He took down my number and texted my phone.  Then he left the room to go get a drink out of his car. 

He came back with a lemon iced tea for me that he said he’d just bought at the gas station before he came over.  He said he’d gone downstairs and seen the Host was fucking someone.  I asked who and he said he thought it was that same woman from earlier.  She was riding him and the Host had beckoned him over with his hand.  The cousin said he wasn’t sure if he meant for him to come join in or go get me but that he’d rather just be up here with me alone.

I was surprised the Host was fucking her.  I’m not sure why, I guess I should have assumed that he would be.  She wasn’t unattractive or anything, though she was in her 40’s and maybe a little worn looking.  She was tall and blonde and skinny. 

I guess that’s why he sent the cousin into me.  I’d certainly rather fuck him than the hillbilly guy, any day.  Plus, he DID ask if I had gotten my fun in and probably assumed I’d been fucking more than I had at the party.  Who knows what Mr. Hillbilly was doing?  Watching?  Passed out?  Haha

Anyhow, I fucked Mr. Cousin again (I might have to change his name later if I see him again, I don’t want any newbies to my blog to get confused or too many people finding it searching for incest stories, lmao).  This time he pulled the condom off towards the end and went right back in.  Totally defeats the purpose there, but not the first time a guy has pulled that!

After we were finished (and he again came on my face) he wanted to talk a lot.  He asked if I wanted to come with him to some jazz bar that was open till 6 am and eat catfish.  Normally, that might sound good, but I was tired and ready to sleep.

He was telling me all about how he and the Host and their other cousins have been sharing females since they were in high school.  He said his first sexual experience was actually a MFM threesome.  According to him though, it had been awhile since he’d shared someone with Mr. Host, specifically, and he has never been to a swinger party.

He said he makes a point of not judging women because then they open up to him a lot more.  I agreed that was true and admitted that I had grown up with a family that operated similarly, with the brothers/cousins all fucking the same women.

 The guy I had the affair with was from that same family, though I had promised him during that time I wouldn’t fuck his brothers.  We weren’t at the point where he wanted to share any longer and I would stay away from most of them these days, for various reasons.  I admit to laughing a couple of years ago when one of them posted on Facebook that all he wants is to find just ONE woman that hasn’t fucked any of his brothers or cousins, and all the responses were like “have you thought about moving to Alaska?” lol. 

 He finally left around 5:30 and I heard the Host and his company getting ready to leave a few minutes later.  I knew they’d have a 20 minute or so drive each way, so I drifted back to sleep.

I was awoken by Mr. Host climbing on my back and kissing my neck.  I peeked at the clock, 6:30, but pretended to be asleep.  I was still irritated with him.  I lay completely still and didn’t move.

He slid off my pj pants and started gently biting his way up my thighs and on the underside of my ass.  I didn’t budge.  So he spread my legs open and quickly entered me from behind.  I gasped and he whispered in my ear “are you ready for your 30 seconds?” I said “what. ever.” and we had great sex for like the next hour, twice, before falling asleep.  He was saying stuff like “who’s number 1? Tell me I’m number 1″…and promising that he is going to make the sex different each time so I’ll be sure to keep coming back for more.

He woke me up with more doggystyle sex, which was pretty good, cumming inside me, because again, he’s got a vasectomy.  I started my period the next day, thank God, so we know that other guy who came in me didn’t get me pregnant.

 Anyhow, it’s hard to stay mad and he later claimed that the reason he left me alone at the second party was to let me be and let me enjoy myself.  I don’t know about all THAT, but whatever.  I still had fun and it’s not worth the drama at this point.  Just have to be careful to keep myself emotionally distant.

Slightly scary swinger party

hillbilly-family

This weekend I went on what was basically a blind date, to a swinger party.  The guy who invited me was someone who found me last week on the swinger site. We had texted back and forth a little bit, but the only face picture I had seen of him, he was wearing sunglasses and standing at a distance. 

Really, the only reason I considered going with him was because my other plans for the weekend hadn’t worked out.  I had been kind of annoyed with his texting the week before.  He had asked me to drive and meet him over an hour away and I wasn’t going to all that trouble for a man I’d never met, especially when it was raining sleet and the roads were questionable to drive on.

So I turned him down on that offer and since he wasn’t willing to come my way either, we didn’t meet.  Still, he sent a few racy pictures.  One was of his LIMP cock.  I was like WTF?  He said “you need to make it hard” and I was thinking “you need to make it wet” and briefly considered sending him back a pic of a dry vagina, a desert, or maybe some sandpaper.

Kind of a rocky start.  Then he texted me on Friday night asking if I would attend a swinger party with him here in town.  Well, I didn’t have any other plans yet and two of the swinger parties I MIGHT have gone to weren’t going to happen, so I said yes.  I wanted to be doing SOMETHING fun.

Let me tell you a little bit about the other swinger parties and what happened there first.  Remember Mr. Host?  HE was having a swinger party too, but he didn’t invite me!!! He MENTIONED the party though, I suspect by mistake, the week before. 

He had wanted me to come see him because I was supposed to be heading that way that weekend and I decided against it due to weather.  After having recently gotten in an accident on the ice I am pretty leery of driving long distances when the roads might not be doing well, plus I have to cross several bridges on the way and those are kind of scary.

When I was 4 years old, we were driving across the country to Connecticut and hit a patch of ice on a bridge.  The car spun around several times and almost went over the edge of the bridge.  When it stopped, we were facing oncoming traffic.  That experience is still lingering in my mind.

Anyhow, I wasn’t driving.  Mr. Firm is up that general direction as well and his family was not feeling well, plus he didn’t think I should risk it.  Mr. Host, on the other hand, was irritated with me.  He later said “you could have made the drive”.  Yeah, and risk my life for you?  No thanks.  He’s just not THAT important to me, you know?  Plus, he could have made the drive down to see ME but didn’t even suggest that.

So he was like “I guess we can see each other at the party next week, but I really wanted some alone time with you”.  Party?  What party?  I said I hadn’t gotten invited to the party and he said oh, that the one guy who sent out the invites must have “overlooked” me.  PLEASE.  He is the host of the party and HAD to have double checked.  Plus, supposedly he wanted us to have a COUPLE profile and me to help him with them.  I sincerely doubt I would just be “overlooked”.  Whatever. 

I didn’t give him any drama about it.  It’s not worth my time and I don’t really care that much, but it is kind of insulting.  He doesn’t invite Mr. Firm, and now me.  The two coolest people at any of his parties by a long shot. 😉  His loss, lol.

The funny thing is he still wants to see me and have sex.  I can venture a few guesses as to why he didn’t invite me.  It may have something to do with the not so great interaction I had with his cousins the last time.  Possibly it could be due to the one woman who always wants to sleep in his bed and her feelings.  I wasn’t interested in sleeping with her husband (the old guy) and that could be a problem too.  Mr. Firm said the Host may even have a different woman he wanted to invite and spend the night with him, and that is a possibility too.

If that were the case, there really isn’t anything wrong with it.  It’s not like he and I are boyfriend and girlfriend or anything serious.  We don’t even text much outside of going to the parties, though he has talked repeatedly about wanting to spend a weekend with me or doing something alone.  He also has to pay my gas and that can get expensive.  The last time it was $50 and the time before he gave me $100.

Even after claiming I was overlooked, he didn’t bother to send me an invitation. So I am pretty sure he didn’t want me to come.  Only time will tell if he does in the future.  Meanwhile, I was invited to ANOTHER house party up that way. 

The other house party was being thrown by the brother of the first house party I ever went to.  He was a guy I had played just a little bit with there, in a sort of orgy situation.  We didn’t have sex but I think he fingered me, and I went down on his girlfriend.  According to him, his girlfriend was super jealous and wouldn’t let him fuck me.

He’s not a bad looking guy, but man, he turned out to be NEEDY as fuck, lol.  He was annoying the heck out of me over text and I finally had to tell him to quit.  Like, he was sending me zillions of texts.  He was demanding to know things like if this was going to be more than sex and callling me his “lover”.  I was barely responding.  Randomly, he would tell me things like “I am afraid of heights” and “I can’t swim” and I’m thinking duuude, it is way too early to be sharing this stuff.  Plus he even said he was “anxious”.  NOT a turn on.  I was totally afraid he would turn into a stalker.

All of this is moot anyhow, because the weather was looking iffy for the weekend so I again decided to stay in town.  This left me with fewer options and I said yes to the limp dick guy. Hey, at least I was going to a party.  Admittedly the guest list wasn’t looking too hot though.  There were a few “maybe” single guys but I wasn’t sure.

As requested, I showed up early, to his hotel room.  Thankfully, he was nice looking in person.  He is in the Army.  Gotta love the “service” of the area millitary base.  It’s always got a fair amount of good looking, in shape, fuckable men, which is more than you can say for this area in general. Ahhh…God Bless America. 😉

He wasn’t super talkative and I’m still thinking this guy is kind of an ass from our previous communications.  Still, he wasn’t bad.  We talked a little bit about the party and how it was going to go down.

 He let me know right up front he wasn’t cool with me getting with any single guys there.  He said it had to be an “even trade” and that if they didn’t have anything for HIM he wasn’t sharing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I’m used to being the bartering chip.  I warned him that there might not be a lot of people where I was interested in the male half of the couple. He said we should have a “code phrase” to use for trying to gauge that, so we made one up.

Pretty quickly after that we got down to business.  We kissed a little bit and he told me to take off my clothes.  With virtually no foreplay (and without a condom!) he just rammed it in.  I didn’t even have time to ask.  Part of my bane with some guys is that I am virtually always wet.  So they take this to mean I don’t need any preparation.  Not that I need a lot, but still.

He kind of took me by surprise and he was sort of rough.  He was ramming hard and fast.  Right at the end he asked me something that sounded like “are you going to cum?” I couldn’t quite understand him and asked “what?” and he repeated himself but it was still mumbled.  I was on the verge of having an orgasm, or so I thought, so I said “yes”.  Bam!  It was over.

 
He pulled out and wiped what looked like a drop of cum off the end of his dick.  OMG, did he just cum inside me???  I was freaking out.  I had been super wet already but it felt like he may have cum.  It had all been so fast, I wasn’t sure.

I got up to take a shower.  We didn’t talk much and I quickly glanced at the monthly cycle calendar on my phone.  I should have ovulated a few days ago, plus I was feeling super horny then, but it was cutting it close.  While I was washing my hair and body my thoughts were racing.  I needed to ask him to be sure.

I stepped out of the bathroom.  “Did you cum inside me?”  He said “yeah, you said I could”.  I said “I thought you were asking me something else”.  I said “I’m not on birth control” and he was like “are we okay then?”  I said I thought so but wasn’t sure.  Yikes.

THANK GOD though, when I got home, I was able to check my fertility monitor and it said I am not currently fertile.  I love that little thing.  It’s like a tiny microscope where you can check your saliva or cervical mucous and see where your body is at.  If you are fertile, you will see crystallization going on and if not, it just looks like tiny bubbles.  So I’m pretty sure I ovulated the other day and am in the clear.

A midwife gave me this device years ago, before I even got pregnant with my first child.  I was wanting to stop using birth control and go to natural family planning and this was the easiest, most awesome method ever.  Of course to use it for proper prevention of pregnancy you have to chart your cycles for a few months to make sure how many days in you are ovulating.  I have a general idea but my cycle has been kinda wacky lately.

For those that are curious, it is hard to find in the U.S. but the fertility monitor was made in Spain and is considered a 97% effective method of birth control, if used properly.  I was able to predict accurately when I got pregnant with each of my children using this device.  I still remember looking at it right after sex with my ex husband the time I got pregnant with my first child and seeing it completely covered with little microscopic “ferns”. 

Here is an article about it Holistic Birth Control and here is a picture Fertility Tester. It was the only one I could find, though you might be able to with more digging, find someone selling one elsewhere. Note that they won’t sell to the United States…hmmm..conspiracy?

There used to be some other similar devices on the market as well, but they looked different.  I suppose any microscope would do.  It’s a shame Americans don’t get more information about stuff like this.  Guess it wouldn’t make the pharmaceutical companies enough money.

Anyhow, I am pretty confident that I am in the safe zone.  Years of using NFP has taught me to be more in tune with my body and notice the signs.  I get really, really horny during ovulation, lol and that was earlier in the week. The confirmation of my fertility monitor makes me feel pretty good that I was right.  Still, I was kind of in shock and it threw me for a loop for a minute there.

Onto the party.  Hmmm…well, there weren’t a whole lot of attractive people there.  There were an unusual amount of elderly folks at this one.  We are talking full heads of gray hair.  My guess is that some of these people were in their 70’s.  Someone said the swinger party here that is usually for older people has closed down, so maybe that is why.

There were also lots of cowboy hats, country music and obese people.  Not too unusual in this area, but not really my style.  One of the highlights of the night was a naked jello wrestling match.  The women were maybe 350 lbs a piece.  The guy I was with said it reminded him of sumo wrestlers, lol.  One of the women had blinking lights attached to her nipples.  They were rubbing jello all over each other’s bodies and licking it off. He was not impressed and said that image would be hard to erase from his mind, lol.

With the party being kind of lame and people mostly sitting at tables, I was trying hard to cheer up my “date”.  He knew one other woman there, that he had slept with before and known for 5 or 6 years.  She danced with him once but left early.  Another woman was trying to hit on him, but as he pointed out, she had no teeth!  LOL

So I was flirty with him and he said I was the most attractive woman there, that no one else interested him at all.  We danced and kissed and made out a lot and he seemed to open up a little more.  There was only one other man there that I thought was a “maybe” though I didn’t say anything because he was single and never approached us.

What is funny is THAT guy hit me up on Sunday, over Plenty of Fish.  He had apparently emailed me once before because I could see the conversation but I had never responded.  I suck at answering people’s emails on dating sites and only do it once in a while, like if I have nothing better to do that night or the guy seems extra my type (like Mr. Firm).

 He said he saw me at the party but didn’t want to offend the guy I was with by talking to me.  Kind of funny, at a swinger party, but he was probably right.  At one point the guy I came with left for the restroom and he claims when he came back 6 men were talking to me and giving him dirty looks.  They were all old, overweight or unattractive so it wasn’t really a big deal, but he was being a tad possessive.

There was also this one guy at the party that people are always talking about.  The Professor had mentioned him before and I have spoken to the man and seen him in action at other parties, but he just doesn’t do it for me.  He’s some kind of doctor and constantly fucking one woman after another.  A lot of people seem really impressed, but he’s not my style.

We got pulled into the sex swing room because he was fucking the toothless woman and everyone was like “you have to see this”.  I don’t think my military friend was too impressed.  He was like this guy is on Viagra or something.  I’m amused by it but not really turned on.  The guy is like a jackhammer energizer bunny, going, going and going, really fast and hard and he does a lot of grunting.  Its fun to watch for a minute, just out of curiosity but I’m not a huge voyeur.  More of an exhibitionist ;).  I want to be in on some action (but not with him, lol).

At one point, the military guy pulled me into the hallway and said he wanted to fuck me there.   Then he changed his mind and we went into the women’s bathroom.  He had me bent over and was fucking me from behind.  He was still pretty rough, though he lasted longer and didn’t cum.  He said he didn’t want to cum there at the party and was saving it for later. 

We finally went back to our room around closing. We talked a bit with a woman in the hallway who was fairly attractive and he invited her back to our room but she and her husband were waiting on another couple. Husband came out and wasn’t hot, lol.  He didn’t even have to ask me about that one. 

The rest of the night was mostly us having sex.  It was a lot better this time and lasted way longer.  He bit me a lot though, hard, and left some bruises.  They aren’t hickeys but actual bruises and my shoulders hurt.  I think from him gripping them really tight.  There is a little, light, hickey on my neck but not really noticeable.

He kept saying no one had made him this hard in a long time and that he didn’t want to stop. 😉  It went on a looong time and was pretty hot, though he kept stopping when I was just about to cum, I think to prevent himself from doing so.  Finally, at the end I came pretty hard, and so did he, on my stomach this time, though he had the nerve to ask if he could cum inside me again! 

In the morning, after my shower, while I was at the mirror putting my makeup on, he came up behind me again wanting to fuck.  He was having trouble with his erection and said he thought it was due to being spent from the night before so I’m not even sure why he was trying, but okay.  I sucked his dick to get it ready and we had like a 30 second fuck before he again came on my stomach.  He never did go down on me.  Ah, well.

 I texted him after I got home to say I checked and my fertility thing says I’m not fertile so we should be okay.  He responded that was cool and said he had had a good time.  I’m not sure, at this point, whether or not I will ever see him again, but I guess time will tell.

 

 

Finishing up (House party, part 3)

resized_giggling-girls-meme-generator-his-boat-goes-100mph-on-the-speedometer-6255a7

After the massive threesome fail, I was starting to feel pretty withdrawn.  My hair was a matted mess and I had tears running down my cheeks. It was like 4:30 in the morning. So I slipped into the master bedroom, with the intent of avoiding the remaining people at the party. 

I wanted to clean up a little bit and my bag was in the Host’s closet.  I was digging around but couldn’t find my hairbrush.  Dangit!  I must have left it in the car when I used it right before coming in.  While I was still searching, in walks the cuckhold guy I had seen earlier.  He’d been listening while the Host fucked his wife, and shortly thereafter I saw him eating her pussy on the stairwell. 

He made some joke about how the last time he’d seen me we were in 4th grade.  What?  I did a double take, because I actually did attend elementary school in that city for a while, so not improbable.  He was an average looking, white guy, with bland enough features that I wasn’t sure that he might not have been someone I knew.  He laughed though, and said he was kidding.  Whew! 

He came over and went in for a kiss.  I wasn’t too excited about it and sort of pulled away, making an excuse to leave the room.  I went into the kitchen, where another white guy grabbed my arm. 

This guy was actually pretty cute.  I’d been talking to him earlier and he’d said he was 26, though he looked even younger.  He could definitely pass for a college student.  So in that sense, he wasn’t my type, but he might have been, 15 years ago, lol. 

In any case, he was surprisingly confident and persistent, and he WAS pretty cute. He kissed me a couple of times before I let him lead me down the stairs. To my chagrin, the cuckhold guy was down there already, looking excited to see us.  His wife was passed out on the couch, though she was awake enough to respond when he made a joke about her being the parking lot attendant.

I sat on the couch with the young guy and we were sort of making out.  The cuckhold guy comes over and we ended up moving to another couch. He followed.  He was making comments about threesomes.  I was starting to think, hey, this might not be so bad.  I just had a threesome with two black dudes, now I could do two white guys, that would be a fun story to tell!  Haha

The young guy pulled out his rather thick, nice cock and I started to suck on it.  It wasn’t for long because the other guy was undoing his pants and standing near my face.  So I turned and started to suck on him while continuing to jack off the other guy with my hand.  I didn’t like the taste of this guy’s dick, what was it?  Dried cum?  Gag…

My hand suddenly felt warm and wet.  The younger guy had cum.  I briefly considered using my cum covered hand to lube up guy #2 so I could hurry up and get him to finish as well, but decided against it, lmao.  Somehow, I don’t think he would mind.

Instead I kind of pulled away and the older guy starts shouting things like “suck that thick cock!”  He was just getting revved up, and didn’t realize the other guy had finished (he was still rock hard).  We exchanged glances and I knew he wanted me to cover up for him.  I didn’t say anything about it and sort of half assed sucked on the other guy’s cock a bit while the younger guy pulled up his pants.  I pulled away and didn’t finish off the cuckhold, kind of left him hanging there. The Host had just come down the stairs so that gave me an excuse.

The Host probably thinks I fucked a lot more guys than I actually did at the party, lmao.  There were a few instances where I saw him watching me and it would have appeared to be so, but wasn’t.  Like once, this man, who was part of a black married couple that I had been talking with, had cornered me in the bathroom and tried to ask about having a threesome with he and his wife.  I liked HER and she was cool, but him, not so much.  Plus, I don’t know that she would have wanted that, or it was just him, because he was being secretive.  He turned off the light at one point and we were in there in the dark. Upon opening the door, there was Mr. Host again, paying attention from across the room.

Anyhow, I got up and asked Mr. Host if he needed help with anything. He was cleaning up and said he thought he had it and was just trying to get people to leave now. The younger white guy left and I avoided the other one and went upstairs. 

The Redhead girl was sitting on a chair upstairs in the living room and I sat down to talk to her, while some of the remaining people who were milling about filtered their way out.  She had changed out of her dress and was bumming, in sweats with her hair pulled back, like if you were at home watching tv or something. She said she had to be at some military function in an hour.  Mr. Host had went into the kitchen and was having a discussion with the security guys, I think divvying up money. They each individually hugged me before they left, by the way. I don’t think they had a clue how uncomfortable I was with the rough sex.

She sees me and was like “OMG, did you…”  I said “yes” and she said “I have never….”  I responded “I know”.  She whispered “I could barely even…”  I retorted “me either”.   The Host walks into the room so we continue our conversation in half sentences, obviously talking about the guy with the big cock, but wanting to fly under the radar so he wouldn’t catch it.  He was like “What the Hell did I just hear??”  LMAO.  I said “we are telepathic” and he just stared in disbelief.  She laughed and said “telepathy, we are communicating through telepathy”.  We both giggled and were like, it’s just “girl talk”.  He looked suspicious, but shook his head and left the room.

We talked for a few minutes longer about him and his not cumming with her and she said it was the same with Mr. Host.  She says now HE can go forever!  At that, the woman who I know has an ongoing sexual relationship with Mr. Host, whose husband is the old black guy and she is like 27, came into the room.  She was messing with her phone but looked up at that comment and said “yep”.  Then the Redhead made a joke, that I didn’t catch until later.  She was like straddling the arm of the chair she was on and said “Quit tryin to run” and the other girl laughed out loud.

Hours later, when I was in bed with Mr. Host, I finally “got it”, LMAO!  He’s got me pinned down, in some sort of hold where he is on his elbows and doing me from the back and he says “Quit tryin to run!  You can’t go nowhere!  Quit tryin to run!  You can’t get away from me!”  LMMFAO!!!  I can just picture him, with his big old cowboy hat that he likes to wear, and his southern drawl/midwestern twang accent, out there “wrasslin a hawg” or something.  Only in this interaction, I’m…..the hog.  Bahahaha! 

The embarrassing part is that, to me, this was actually pretty hot! LMAO Rape fantasies and all. 😉 Not the imagining a hog part, lol, but just being trapped like that where I can’t get away. 😉

Okay, so anyway the third girl is in the room and The Redhead again brings up the guy with the big dick. Now she is curious too because she didn’t get to have sex with him. So we both climb over onto the couch with her and we are huddled up talking and showing her pics and she is asking what his screen name is and saying she needs to put this into her phone.

In walks Mr. Host, and we quickly change the subject. You can tell he’s been trying to catch a little bit of our conversation and see what’s up. He later told me he didn’t like us girls talking about him. I guess that’s what he assumed since we had all slept with him at some point. He admitted though, that guys do the same thing. I said we were talking about something else anyway, and that she had only mentioned that he lasts a long time. Of course that was before I got the other joke, haha.

The Redhead left and the other girl went back and I think was talking with Mr. Host. Her husband came out and practically yelled at me to get up off the couch and come to bed. I’m thinking, seriously, please tell me we are not sleeping in the same bed with these people again!! Mr. Host had promised me not this time.

I got up and he was like you come in here with me, but said I needed to go outside to my car. I walked past Mr. Host and this woman having what appeared to be some sort of emotional discussion, in order to get my purse. I get the feeling she wants to sleep with him. Where is that going to leave me? I sure as hell don’t want to sleep with the old guy.

I went out and got my hairbrush. When I came back in she was still in the room, but walked out. Mr. Host was lying on the bed.

It felt a little awkward. I asked “what do you want me to do?” and he looked a little upset but said “what do you mean?” I said I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to sleep with him. He said, “of course I do, go close the door and come here, I think we are done with them now”.

I did as he asked and got under the covers next to him. The old man then barges in the room and starts telling me to get up and trying to yank me out of bed. I pulled away from him. He said “come on! Aren’t you going to come with me?”. I turned to look helplessly at Mr. Host. He looks at me for a second and then tells the old guy to leave us alone to “talk”. He didn’t come back. Thank God.

Mr. Host was like “you should have told him no, it’s okay to stand up for yourself”. I asked “were you trying to pawn me off on him?” and he said “NO!! Of course not.” He claimed the guy was drunk and normally doesn’t act that way, that normally he would be very polite and ASK me first, not demand stuff. He said he is not really like that.

I don’t know, but I was a little confused and glad he left. We had great sex in the morning but through much of the rest of the night I felt he was holding back a bit, maybe trying to keep me quiet so the other girl wouldn’t hear. He said he just wanted to “make love” and was going slow for much of the time. Not that it wasn’t fun, just a little frustrating. He did say he was tired, which is reasonable I guess, lol and wanted to sleep with his cock inside me (talk about frustrating, haha).

In the morning though, the sex was more intense and those people were still there. Finally, he came. :p I had to leave early due to my ex husband acting like an ass and refusing to take my son to basketball practice. Grrrr…. So not sure what happened with them after that.

I wasn’t able to meet with the Bodybuilder because of that either and he was kind of upset. I think he feels put off, and it’s true I kind of did do that. I couldn’t make any concrete plans with him due to my ex making it difficult for me to spend as long as I would like out of town. I’m glad I left it open ended though or it would have been worse. I knew I couldn’t make promises to get together. I’m sure he will still try to meet with me again. 😉

The house party goes downhill (part 2)

house-falling-down

When I left off the last blog entry, I was still at the party and had just finished experiencing a gigantic cock.  I feel a little guilty about my attitude at the time, now that he has been texting me a little bit.  He’s actually been fairly nice.  Maybe I was too hard on him. Guys don’t always want to be treated like a big piece of meat either.  In any case, he said his time with me was “phenomenal” and he wants to meet up again.  He is a nice looking guy and wasn’t awful or anything, he just seemed pretentious. 

That and I was irritated that he wouldn’t cum.  In talking with The Redhead later, she brought up that he didn’t cum with her and I said don’t feel bad, me either.  We agreed we hate it when men try to reserve that so they can keep fucking at parties or whatever, because it makes you feel like a failure.  I mean, I get the reason, because it would be hard for most of them to keep going and going and going if they didn’t, it’s just still a disappointment.  They probably don’t like it when we hold back from them either.  SHE said when he tried to put her in doggystyle she told him “no way!”  LMAO  Made me feel a little better about refusing to swallow.

Okay, so when I walked out of the bedroom with this guy, I saw The Host watching from across the room.  It was mildly awkward so I just kind of ducked into the kitchen to avoid him.  He got up and followed me.  He came over and grabbed my arm and said “come here”, practically dragging me back to his bedroom.  Only he kept going, and took me into the bathroom. 

I was like “why are we going in here?” and he said because it was more private.  The private rooms were all filled up and his room was for public play.  I couldn’t tell if he was upset or angry or what and was trying to gauge his reaction. 

He said he had to have me now, and started undoing his pants.  He told me to suck it and I had to close the toilet lid and sit on it to do so, lol.  It’s a small little 3/4 bathroom and a tight squeeze in there.  I didn’t do that for long before he pulled me up and told me to bend over.  Over the toilet, lol, I was having to grab onto the sides of it to hold on. 

He grabbed a hold of my hair, pulled me up enough to where he could talk in my ear and said “did he wear a condom?”  I said yes and he said “I don’t want you fucking anyone here without a condom but me”.  I said okay, (not like I was planning to do that anyhow) and he pulled my hair harder, starts pumping harder and says “I mean it!  Do you hear me? I want to be the only one who gets to feel your wetness”. 

Okay, anyhow, we were in there for quite awhile, in the same position, with me grabbing onto the sides of the toilet, lol.  He kept saying he needed to go and could hear people out there looking for him, but he didn’t want to.  He finally stopped (without cumming) and said “I have to go out there but I promise I’ll make love to you later when we are alone”.  What’s funny is that today he actually apologized for being “too aggressive” with me and I guess that is what he was talking about, though I wasn’t the least bit bothered by it at all.

After I left the room I was accosted by the security guy I had been flirting with.  I guess he saw I had just been in there with the Host.  He said he was finished working so we went into a private room.  He started to break out a condom and then asks me if I want him to go get his cousin first.  I said “sure” so he did.  Now I’m kind of regretting that.  I think all would have gone much better had it just been the two of us.

This was quite possibly the worst threesome I have ever had.  We started out on the bed with me sucking security guy #2’s dick, and the other guy fucking me from behind, just like the last time.  Okay, well guy #1 is behind me going at it kind of hard and at the same time guy #2 starts trying to deep throat fuck me.  This was not cool as I was gagging and on the verge of throwing up.  I had my hand on the lower half of his cock and that was the only thing keeping me from choking to death while they were both ramming me from different directions.  I wasn’t in a position where I could SAY anything so I was trying to push back with my hand and stop this and security guy number two starts saying “get your hand out of there, come on suck the whole thing, take it all” and ramming harder. 

Let me say here that this is totally NOT my thing!  I do not enjoy being gagged to death on someone’s cock or having them fuck my throat.  Hell, its hard not to choke sometimes even controlling things myself, let alone with someone ramming it in there.  Apparently there are women in the world who enjoy this sort of thing but I am not one of them!!

It got to the point where I managed to pull my mouth off of his cock.  He didn’t seem to like that and was yelling something about taking it all in but I pulled away and we switched positions, to where I was fucking HIM instead.  He put on a condom and started doing me from the back.   Only he was fucking me much harder, ramming it in a lot harder and faster and the OTHER guy starts saying the same crap this one was about taking it in my throat.  I was miserable and trying to push them both away at the same time.  They didn’t seem to get it.

Someone opened the door and let in the old guy from the last party.  Security guy #2 left the room to go grab another woman while this old guy comes up behind me and is trying to finger me from the back, while I’m still in a doggystyle position with my mouth on security guy #1.  I was showing no interest in sucking his cock anymore and he’s starting to go limp, but still pushing for me to suck it.  Meanwhile the old guy is behind me and trying to finger me from the back, which I also wasn’t enjoying.  A dick is one thing but fingers can irritate me at times and in that position and with him basically trying to fuck me with them, it was not fun.

Security guy #2 and the other woman, a skinny older black woman who has the “librarian” look with glasses and gray streaks in her hair came in.  She starts sucking his cock and he is telling her the same shit he was saying to me but she actually seems to like it.  Maybe because no one was ramming her into him from the back.  Anyhow, the old man was diverted onto fingering her and I was glad for that.  I started to get up, wanting to leave, but security guy #1 comes up behind me and wants to fuck me over the side of the bed.  He was struggling with the condom and losing his erection.

The other woman was really getting into things, really seemed to be enjoying this crap that I hated.  I had tears all down my cheeks, and was feeling awful.  I just wanted to get out of there, but I let him put it in from behind for a minute.  It felt like he went in without a condom and I finally just pulled away from him and walked over to the other side of the room to start getting dressed.  I don’t think he came. 

Maybe some of it was that it was 4 am and my drinks were starting to wear off, but I was just totally turned off and unhappy.  I guess I felt a little inadequate for not liking this stuff when the other woman seemed to think it was so great too.  I was hoping though that they would just direct their attention to her. The old guy had left and the second security guy and the other woman finished while I was getting dressed.  She was lying on the bed and said she was still cumming.  :p 

I don’t know.  I just hate that sort of thing.  To me it feels degrading and I’m not enjoying it a bit.  When I say I like dominant men, I don’t mean in that sort of way, at all.  Maybe I’m hard to please.  It’s one of the reasons I am afraid of gangbangs though.  Some guys just don’t get the difference there or what I mean when I try to tell them that.  Having a bunch of guys and a misunderstanding in that sense could really end up to be a disaster.

Gotta run, my library time is up.  More soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another house party (part 1)

house-party

I’m eager to write about what happened this weekend, though short on time.  So bear with me if I can’t finish it all and you are left with another cliff hanger. 😉

Mr. Firm has begun reading my blog.  So far so good.  😉  He really seems to like it!  Whew!!  Of course, when I had texted with him last, he was only back to like August of this year.  He hadn’t read about all the drama with the Professor, my past, some of my more weak, insecure postings.  If he keeps reading he will see it all, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I was totally relieved by his response to what he has read thus far.  He said not to be embarrassed, that my experiences don’t even scratch the surface of some of the stuff he has done.  I believe him, lol.  You don’t get that good in bed without some serious practice!! 😉 It’s a really good feeling to have acceptance from someone who knows me personally, after reading all I have written. I feel like I have trusted the right person.  So few men are able to truly handle my sexuality, and with him I feel safe.

He said we will have a lot to discuss and he may even make some comments on the blog.  I think that will be very educational.  I’m pretty sure he’s someone I can and will learn a LOT from, both inside and outside the bedroom.  I look forward to what the future holds in that regard, especially now that he knows some of my deep, dark desires. 😉  Of course, he said he had me pegged on a lot of that stuff already, I guess due to how we interact and in the bedroom plus what he has seen in others.

He says he is going to answer some of my questions, like what he means when he says I fuck him like he “needs” and whether I missed out on not coming for a gangbang.  LMFAO, that should be eye opening!  😉 🙂 I’m looking forward to more of his response.

In the meantime I had another interesting weekend!!  I attended another party thrown by The Host.  It wasn’t quite as fun as the last time but I had my share of adventures!

Right before leaving town, the Professor texted me.  He asked what I was doing and seemed kind of upset that I was leaving to go to a party.  I felt like he was trying to guilt trip me, like he did in the past when we were seeing each other.  Only now, he really has no excuse.  He said he knew I was probably going to “have fun” and I said “maybe” and he said “yeah right, you know you will”.  He seemed a tad jealous, but hey, he’s not fucking me, so why does it even matter anymore? It’s been 9 months since we have had sex.

Anyhow, I got to the party and was a little disappointed.  There weren’t as many people there as last time, even though I arrived almost two hours after it started.  There were a few of the same couples and people but most I didn’t recognize from the last party.  I have seen quite a few of them at other swinger clubs however.  It made me feel a little better about him not inviting Mr. Firm.  Maybe he was just trying to vary the list and only invited a handful of the same folks, like me and this couple that was in the bed with us last time.  His cousins, the two I had played with, were there and one woman who I met before who later told me she is his Aunt.  A few of the single women were the same and I figure maybe that’s because they are people he is fucking, lol.

In any case, at first I couldn’t even find HIM because I guess he was out in the garage smoking with a bunch of people, and I don’t smoke, so I hadn’t even realized they were out there.  Nevertheless, I talked a little bit with the security guys and made my way around the house to see who was there.  I spoke with a couple people I recognized before finally finding Mr. Host and him telling me where I could find some wine.  I was cautioned by several people, somewhat jokingly, not to drink too much.  I guess my passing out last time made an impression, ha!  People were monitoring my drink levels the whole entire party. :p  I was only allowed 3 cups. lol

Anyhow, I mingled and chatted and did my thing though it at first seemed a little more difficult than last time.  A few different guys kind of hit on me but none of them seemed that appealing.  Still, I tried to be friendly.

After awhile people started to go into some of the back bedrooms and close doors.  We all know what that means.  😉  So I found an excuse to make my way back to the “public” play room that was the main bedroom.  In there a woman was using a Hitachi magic wand on another woman while several couples and a few singles watched.  When I walked in the door I was invited to be next, and I obliged.

I lay on the bed, while the redheaded girl I went down on at another party cleaned off the wand.  She sprayed some cotton candy lube in my mouth, saying taste this stuff, its really good isn’t it?  She said she had gotten it at a Passion Party.  That reminds me that I have a girlfriend from high school who throws those.  She’d tried to get me to have one awhile back, a “divorce party” after my marriage fell apart, but I felt like, at the time, none of the ultra conservative Christian people I was hanging around with would have been interested, lol.

Anyhow, while like 20 people watched, she helped me pull off my clothes and boots and put the toy against my clit.  Part of the time she was fingering me as well and the whole thing felt really good.  The older black man from the previous party, the one who had cum all over my face in 15 seconds, pulled down my top and started sucking on one of my boobs.  A Mexican girl started playing with the other.  People continued to walk in and out of the room to see what was going on and she upped the vibrator to a level 5 (out of 10). It had some sort of pulsating motion that was feeling really good. She said that was her favorite level too.

The older guy moved out of the way and I think motioned to his wife, who came over and started sucking on my boob in his place. I finally came, not loudly like I sometimes do during sex, but enough that people could tell that I needed to stop.

I am not sure who all was even in there at that point but I know I’d seen the host come in and out and some other single guys. One of the security guys, the one I’d had sex with the time before, was paying attention because he commented that he’d seen I was having fun. He and I continued to flirt a bit throughout the party and he had told me he couldn’t wait to get finished “working” so we could play.

After I walked out of the room, I heard a woman moaning loudly in another bedroom. Outside the door was a guy listening in and he said “that’s my wife and the Host”. He looked to be enjoying it.

I continued to mingle and awhile later the redhead who had used the magic wand on me comes up and says in a low voice, “OMG, did you see that guy I just came out of the room with?” I said no and she was like “his dick is THIS BIG” motioning with her hands. “It was HUGE, I don’t mean just kind of huge, I mean HUGE, like where it actually hurt and I have never even seen a dick that big”. I asked who it was and she kind of described him and said he was wearing a blue shirt.

So I took note but didn’t see the guy for a bit until she passed me near the stairs and says “that’s him, over there”. Oh, okay, that guy had been trying to hit on me earlier and I thought he was lame. I’d gotten kind of bored and made an excuse to ditch him. Now, I was sufficiently curious, lmao. I decided I’d have to let him try again later. 😉

So after awhile I see him and the redheaded girl together on the couch and I decided to join them. I sat on the other side of her and they were sharing pictures and looking at the swinger site. She kind of discreetly flashes me a dick pic that he had just sent on her phone. It did look pretty big, though you can’t always tell in a picture. I had to see this in real time to decide if I agreed, lol. The three of us talked for a couple minutes before she got up and left.

Of course, then he starts trying to talk to me again. I listened while he told me how he would love to take me on a date and to the movies and out to eat. He said I seem like the type of girl that would love to go to “vanilla parties” and just do “vanilla” things with him. WTF? Why would I be here then?? I figured he must be worn out from the sex and was trying to make a date for later because of that.

He blabbed on and on about how all the white girls where I live are so enlightened and intelligent and they all listen to rnb (because I said that was my favorite genre when he asked). Yeah right! I live in a racist, redneck hell-hole that doesn’t even HAVE an rnb station, and most people there listen to country music and lame ass pop. Whatever, but he was clearly trying to flatter me that way.

I’m thinking, I wish this guy would just shut up and pull out his cock already, lol. We exchanged numbers, and FINALLY he kisses me. We made out for a little bit before he asked me if I wanted to go back to one of the bedrooms.

So we go in the room and clothes start coming off and and he finally pulls off his pants. That girl was NOT LYING, lmao!! He was freaking HUGE! He had to be over 10 inches and as thick as my wrist!! It was like a freaking tree trunk! I was seriously kind of glancing down there thinking “oh crap, I don’t know if I can do this” haha.

I started giving him a blow job and was very thankful for the practice I’ve had with my fuck buddy and someone who was really thick around. Because I at least had some idea what to do when you can barely get your mouth around it. He seemed to be enjoying it a lot. He went down on me too and was pretty good at that.

He put on a condom (yeah all those guys who claim that their magnum condoms are too tight are lying, lmao, cause if this guy could wear one anyone could). The sex was fairly good, though he had to go slow. When he asked me to get on my hands and knees though, I was a bit reluctant. I’m thinking, how the fuck does he think I am going to be able to do that?? Hahaha but I just said “BE CAREFUL” and we kind of managed, with him going very slow. It still hurt at some angles and it wasn’t like we could finish that way.

He pulled out, took off the condom, and I blew him some more. He asked if he could cum in my mouth and I didn’t answer right away. I really didn’t want him to. I love it when its with a guy I am into, but really, those are few and far between. With most guys it seems repulsive. It’s like a mental block, I have to be really into the guy or the sex to want to swallow his cum.

He asked again and I kind of shook my head no. So he pulled it out and said then he was gonna save his cum for next time, so I’d be sure to have something to come back for. :p Asshole, lol.

Don’t think I finished here, though that was mostly the end with that particular guy. There’s still lots more to tell. I have to get off the library computer now though. Booo!! Till next time!