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Watching and remembering

So I got this message on POF the other day that kind of creeped me out.

I saw you in Wendys on xyz street. A couple of weeks ago. Your better looking in person and you have a nice ass.

While it’s lovely that he thinks I’m good looking and have a nice ass, I find it rather disturbing that he recognizes me THREE weeks later, on a dating site, after randomly seeing me at Wendy’s with my daughter. I know when it was because I took her there as a treat after being so good at the dentist when she got her cavity filled. THREE effing weeks before he emailed me! I can’t say I even recognize him after seeing his picture and profile. Of course I was probably preoccupied with talking to my daughter, but that almost makes it more creepy. I’m pretty sure we never made eye contact.

This isn’t the first time a guy has messaged me on there with something like that either. I can think of AT LEAST 5 or 6 other occasions where a man recognized me somewhere in public and sent an email to me on Plenty of Fish later. Once I even ran into a man at Walmart who said he recognized me from my pictures on that site, then proceeded to ask me out on a date. Thinking he was kind of cute and seemed nice and normal enough, I agreed.

So he took me out to this restaurant and we enjoyed some Mexican food while he told me all about how he had been in prison for 10 years for murder but that it really wasn’t him who committed the crime, but his brother, who was now dead. Um…sure, of course, no one who is in prison ever actually committed the crime, right? That’s what I’ve been told by a few inmates anyway (like back in the day when I was participating in prison ministries with the ex). They NEVER actually did it. It’s always someone else’s fault.

In an unusual display of trust for a first date (I guess since I had met him first) I had actually let him come to my house to pick me up. Since he had driven me I was kind of stuck when he decided to take us back to his house, which was actually an extended stay HOTEL. No fear, it gets worse. I sat on the bed while he removed my sandals and lotioned up my feet for a foot rub, wondering how the hell am I going to get out of this situation without having sex? No worries. He gave me the fastest foot rubdown in the history of man then took me back out to the car (I swear, I have decent, even “pretty”, clean feet, with even toes and nicely painted toenails so I can’t imagine there was anything wrong with them that scared him off). He drove me back to my house, slipped $40 into my hand and said it was “for gas” then took off. I felt like some kind of foot fetish whore. A week later he sent me a picture of his dick. When I didn’t respond he sent a video. WTF??

Anyway, Walmart seems to be the most frequent place men have these citings of me. Hey, I have kids and don’t get to go out much, what can I say? I try to avoid wearing my pajamas ;). One told me I “looked like an angel” whilst shopping with my children. Of course. I always look angelic whilst doing my shopping, ha! Actually, I’m about as serious, focused and on a mission as it gets when I go there with kids in tow. I barely even glance to the side, try to get in and out as fast as possible and my kids get the death stare if they dare to step out of line. Hawt!

Then there was the guy on the site called TAGGED. I was married at the time and not even trying to use it to hook up. I didn’t know what it was about but it seemed like Myspace or something so when someone invited me I joined. Three days later I got an email from a thug looking Mexican dude who said he’d seen me AT A STOPLIGHT the day before. He went on to name the exact make and model of my vehicle. Even crazier is that the only time I’d left the house the day before was to drive around the corner to the bank and the library. I hadn’t even gotten out of the van! YIKES! I freaked out and took down my profile.

I must live in a small town, right? Not really. There are at least 150,000 people in this city and a few hundred thousand more in its surrounding suburbs. Am I really that recognizable? Or is it that every male within miles is lurking on POF? It’s one of the reasons I am so leery about stating my interest in casual sex on a site that has pictures of my face. I don’t need piles of stalkers at my door and creepy old guys leering at me every time I’m in Walmart thinking “I know what you REALLY want”. Shudder….

I am honestly amazed at these guys ability to remember me, out of all the women in this area. How do they even do that? I admit I totally suck at remembering faces. Heck I’m bad at names too. I’ve even forgotten people I’ve had sex with! Ooops. :/

In fact, I used to keep a written record of the guys I slept with and there is one guy on there that it just drives me CRAZY because I can’t figure out, for the life of me, who it could be! His name is Jeff (yes that’s his real name. Hell if I can’t figure out who he is I doubt you all can either, lol). I keep wondering if it’s the blonde Jeff that I had a crush on and remember kissing, or the black Jeff that used to hang out with us and was hot and dated one of my friends, or was it the long haired loser Jeff that was practically stalking me? Please don’t let it be long hair Jeff. I really hope I didn’t fuck him in a drunken stupor or anything dumb like that. ARGH. Then there was that older guy that I remember driving home from out of town with once. Were we at a hotel together before that? I liked his taste in music, but I can’t remember his freaking name! Did I fuck him? Help! If you think you might be Jeff you should shoot me a line and tell me the story…or something, because I am so lost. Maybe I need to write into Delilah and have her play a song for the long lost guy I fucked. Or maybe not. It WAS a one night stand after all, and if he were good in bed I’d probably remember, right?

Gosh, sometimes I flat out suck at remembering guys. When I first met my ex- husband I kept confusing him with two other guys who had a similar haircut and build (and one of them had been calling me). Then there was that poor guy who asked me to eat lunch with him in the college cafeteria and I said yes (over the phone) because I had confused him with a guy I’d just been out on a date with. When I realized I got it wrong I didn’t know what to do and ended up ditching him. I’ve always felt bad about that because I’m pretty sure he had a huge crush on me and he was obviously super shy and nerdy and whenever I saw him after that he would look away. 😦

Oh and we can’t forget the time I kissed the wrong person. I had been meeting this guy at the beach every day that was half Japanese and half Hawaiian. We would make out pretty heavily at the canoe club and once even had sex. So one day, around the time he would usually show up, I see this guy standing at a slightly closer entrance to the beach and the sun is shining in my eyes so I assume it’s him. I was laying out in my little yellow polka dot bikini and got up to go say hi. I walked right up to him and started kissing him on the lips. He got super excited and it was then that I realized he was slightly shorter than the other dude. Plus he could barely speak English. SO he had his finger in my panties and we were making out HARD and he was trying to pull me into the bushes before I managed to extract myself. He couldn’t understand then why I didn’t want to fuck him (can you blame him? LOL) so I had to practically RUN away and hide with my sister to escape. Scary. Ha.

Yeah, I really need to pay more attention. I don’t suppose guys like it when I forget their names or faces or like, almost fuck someone else thinking its them, though I guess that could make a good cover up story if I was gonna cheat. LMAO. Still, remembering me THREE weeks later from a seeing me at a fast food place eating with my child, isn’t that a bit much? Am I being paranoid? Should I start covering my face in online photos? Hmmmmm…..