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Why do I “prefer” black men?

interracial couple in bed

This is one of those posts that has the potential to upset and offend just about everyone in some way or another, so I’ve been procrastinating, lol, but there have been a couple of times I said I would write it up.  So, here you go, in question and answer format. 

Most of these are real questions that people have asked at some time or another.  Don’t expect them to be politically correct and I can’t be responsible for other people’s thought processes.  Some, I find offensive too, but I’m going to attempt to answer them anyhow. I’m a big fan of DISCUSSING things rather than shushing people up and telling them they are wrong to ask. 

I’m writing it out in this manner because I think the assumptions people make can be really crazy and so far off from the truth.  Sometimes I understand why they might think a certain way and others I am just shaking my head.  Still, its not like everyone doesn’t wonder.  Maybe YOU were too afraid to ask ;). 

Ever since high school, I’ve been getting this:
Lovergirl, why don’t you ever date white guys?

Who says I don’t?  Why would they assume this?  Mostly it’s…white guys..who ask.  I guess its true, that even back then, the majority of the guys I dated were black.  Still, I’m a never say never kind of girl, especially when it comes to things like sex.  😉

Just for fun, I sat down and figured out the actual percentages for you.  Yeah, I was feeling like a nerd. 😉  This is the breakdown of guys I “count” as having had sex with (invoking the Bill Clinton clause-it doesn’t include oral).  Here are my pussy’s demographics:

Black- 75%
White- 13.23%
Asian- 1.47%
Latino- 2.94%
Mixed race- 7.35%

In every case the “mixed” group was a mix of black and white. 

Actually, the first guy I ever had sex with was white, followed by the second guy, who was Asian and then the third, who was black.  Bam! Bam! Bam!  Got that out of the way as soon as I could, hahaha. 😉  I’m playing. I honestly didn’t even think about it at the time, though now it is kind of cool to be able to say I’ve tasted the rainbow. 🙂

Anyhow, we’ve established that its not “never”.  I’ve always been kinda bugged by people who say they would “never” date someone of a different race, but it’s even more weird when you apply that to your own!  How can you block out an entire race of people from your sexual realm of possibility, and how lame is it to discount your OWN freaking race??  WTF??

Honestly, it bothers me when I hear black men say they won’t date black women and I fully understand why some black women get pissed.  The other day at the swinger party where I was talking with two women, a white guy (the one I had just given a blow job to, actually) walked out the door and they both commented that he was cute but they couldn’t fuck him.  The one girl said “I just can’t do white guys anymore” and the other agreed.  They were both white.  I kept my mouth shut but inwardly I was rolling my eyes.

HOWEVER, that said, I clearly do have a preference.  My general preference is black men.  That is USUALLY what I am attracted to.  It’s actually a very strong preference, as you can see from my numbers above.  I sometimes don’t want to admit it, like when the Professor was looking at my swinger site emails and noticed “you don’t even open the white guys’ mail!” That wasn’t entirely true though, I just hadn’t opened MOST of their mail, lol.

Is it because you hate your dad and are trying to get back at him?

This one is kind of entertaining.  Because, well, I didn’t really know my dad until I was a teenager and in the meantime, I had three stepdads.  The first one was white, the second was from South America and the third was black. 

I hated my third stepdad, and still do, but the last way I would try to “get back” at him would be to date black men.  So, hopefully that answers the question as to whether I would date that way because I was “close” to my stepfather too.  NOPE. 

If my black stepfather had been my only exposure to black men and I was one to assume they were all like him, I’d be a racist bitch.  It didn’t happen that way though, thankfully.  Maybe because I was around enough OTHER family members, who were also black, to not make those kinds of assumptions.

I always felt like I was treated like part of the family, for the most part.  While some of his family weren’t too keen on the fact that he was married to a white woman, they didn’t take it out on ME, because I was a kid.  I was just thrown into the mix with the zillions of cousins running around and really no one seemed to think much of it.

Is it because black guys have bigger dicks?

I’ve gone over this one in my post Big Black Men, Is it True?  So if you haven’t read that, head over there.  The answer is no.  That really has nothing to do with it at all.  When white guys tell me they are “black below the belt” it doesn’t turn me on.  I’m just shaking my head.

Is it because you fucked black guys at a young age and “once you go black you never go back?”

Again, I am a never say never kind of girl, remember?  Even after sleeping with a lot of black guys, I went away to an almost totally white college and guess who I fucked there?  White guys!  In fact, that is where I met my ex husband, who was white.

I get this question more from black men than white ones, actually.  What was really entertaining was after I first met my ex husband and went back home for the summer. 

When I first came back, some girlfriends and I went over to this guy’s house.  There were probably like 15 people over there hanging out.  Maybe 5 girls and 10 guys, all of whom were black (except me).  One of the guys asked who I was dating and I told them about my ex.

He thought that was crazy and announced “Lovergirl is dating a white dude!!!” Soon, the attention was all on me, while he and a few of the other guys grilled me right and left and totally made fun of that fact. 

He was like “you aren’t really dating a white guy, you can’t date a white guy! Once you go black you NEVER go back”.  The girls had to jump in “how can you tell her she can’t date a white guy??  She’s white!  You act like she’s black or something!!”  He asked “what’s his name?” and I told him his name and he starts busting out laughing and all the guys are “that is such a white name, hahahaha”.  I said “he’s white!” lmao “what do you expect??  You want his parents to give him a black name?” hahaha

The teasing went on for awhile, with the guys telling me he was probably cheating on me and me saying “no he isn’t”.  The girls were like “he’s not cheating on her!  He’s white!!”  and the guys were saying he was probably doing so right at that very moment.  :p  Then they threatened to call my ex boyfriend, the crazy drug dealer one, and tell him the news.  They were pretending to pick up the phone and I was all “go ahead!!  Why would he care, I’m not talking to him anymore anyway”.   

The whole thing ended with the guy whose house we were at telling me I “even look more white” and pretending to sneer at me, lmao.  Then he was like “you’ll be back…wait”.  Hahaha  I guess I can’t argue about that. 😉

Hold on, wait.  You have sex with all these black guys and then the guy you chose to MARRY was white?  Is this some sort of latent racism?  Did you think he was better marriage material and a better person to make babies with because of his whiteness?

No.  It wasn’t because he was white that I married him.  I actually always wanted to have a biracial baby, because of my little brother and sister.  When they were born I was a young teenager and took care of them all the time.  I thought they were the cutest things on earth and adored my younger siblings.  I totally wanted a mixed race baby, lol. 

However, I DID think my ex husband was completely different from all the other guys I had been with and more “marriage material”.  So this question gave me a pause for just a minute.  Why did I think that?  Was it more than just the fact that he had been the one to ASK me to get married or that his parents kind of pressured us in that direction?  I never dated any black guys whose parents were pressuring them to marry a white girl, btw, lol. 

If there was ONE stereotype I think I had in my head at the time regarding black men, it was that “black men always cheat”.  I know that this is probably unfair, and of course not always true, but it is what it is.  I’d grown up with that imbedded into my brain, mainly from black women!  Not to mention I’d had quite a few experiences of being cheated ON by black guys, including 3 who impregnated someone else whilst we were dating.

I didn’t want to marry someone who would cheat on me.  So I think in some way that probably DID factor into my decision at the time.  Now that I’m older and wiser I’d say everyone cheats, or they will, if they have the option.  If they have the option and don’t think they would get caught, years after being married…I suspect MOST men AND women, would cheat, black or white.

Shortly before I actually ended up cheating on my ex husband, I was emailing back and forth with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time on MySpace.  She is biracial and has 5 kids with like 5 different dads.  She was relaying a story of one of the dads, who had asked her to marry him and got her to come to another state and even gave her a ring, before she discovered that he was ALREADY married and had given her his current wife’s ring!  Nuts. 

She said “you’re lucky, you married a white guy, you don’t have to worry about him cheating on you”.  She went on to lament that she could never date a white guy herself.  I guess I’ll never know if my ex actually cheated on me but he did eventually fall in love with someone else, so there goes that theory down the drain!

Anyhow, sometimes I kind of wish I had married a black man.  For all the negative press black men get, I’m virtually always impressed by what great fathers the guys I see are.  I mean,  they go over and above, and I am so sad for my own children that they don’t have that.

I think a lot of black men, these days, make it a HUGE priority to be a good dad.  It’s like all their lives they have seen the negative effects in the black community and all the stereotypes and go completely the opposite direction.  I wish someone had drilled this into my ex husband’s head while they were knocking him over it with the Bible.  Sigh…

You must have a sexual “fetish” for black men.

I don’t think that is the case.  It’s true that I am more physically attracted, usually, to black men.  Why that is, I can’t say for sure.  I can say that there are plenty of black men I am NOT attracted to and that the ones I am, tend to fall into a very specific “type”.  So like any other “type” that a person has, mine is black men that fall into whatever attraction template I have.  Actually, I think I have a couple.  Most of the guys I see, look or act, in some way, like a man that I have liked previously.  I guess that is part of my natural selection bias.

I also prefer black men to date, not just for sex.  I tend to feel a lot more comfortable with black men and have more in common.  Maybe that is due to not having been around as many white guys growing up.  Even when I had the South American stepfather, most of the families we associated with were not white.  I sometimes have a harder time relating to white guys, despite being white myself.

Even with my ex husband, I never really felt “close” to him, whereas a lot of times I can talk better with black men and feel more understood.  Maybe it is because I don’t really have the same cultural background as most white men.  When I went away to an all white, country, college, it was actually kind of a culture shock for me.  The music, movies, and general attitude that I grew up with veered more towards black than white.  Not that I didn’t have white friends or go to predominately white schools, because I did, but at home it was different.

So what is it that you like about black men and why do you think you choose them?

This is the hard part, because I can’t write it without admitting to having some stereotypes.  I like to think I don’t, but I guess we all do to some extent, like it or not.  Here is the deal though, I have certain traits that I like and have come to look for in men.  In my experience, it is much EASIER to find what I am looking for in a black man. 

What I think it boils down to, is that I percieve black men as being more “Alpha” in general.  Before the white guys get too upset and disagree, let me explain.  It’s not that white guys don’t sometimes have “Alpha” characteristics or that ALL black men fit the description. It just seems, in our culture and at least, here in the U.S., that with white guys it’s something like 20% of the population versus 80% of black men.

Let’s say, for example, that I am looking for a man who is dominant in bed.  I go on a sex site and find 10 black guys and 10 white guys.  Probably 8 of the black men are going to fit that description, but only 2 of the white guys.  Since the majority of the population is white (and especially where I live now), if I just focus on the black men, I can get what I want a LOT faster and not have to filter through zillions of passive white dudes.  Plus, because there are few black men in this area, I have an even smaller group to narrow it down to.

Ever feel like you are totally overwhelmed at Walmart because there are sooo many choices to pick from, for something as basic as shampoo?  It’s like I don’t even know where to start and I don’t want to try each one to figure out if it (he) is what I am looking for.  Would be much faster to run around the corner to the place that only sells a few salon brands. 

Anyow, that might be a bad analogy because I usually do just grab a Walmart shampoo, lmao, and I like to try different ones. 😉  But hopefully, I’m making SOME sense. 

What are the traits that you associate more often with black men, that you like?

Well, we have established the more dominant part.  I think that tends to be true, both in and out of the bedroom.  Now get ready for the massive generalizations, but I find them to be mostly true in my experience.

In general, black men that I meet, are more likely to have some of the following characteristics:

Dress nicely (white European guys do this but in the U.S., white guys tend to think this is “gay”)
Take good care of their physique or are “athletic”
Meticulous hygeine
Clean freaks (I love this and you rarely come across black men that are slobs)
LIKE to talk about relationships, and sex (for some reason white guys don’t seem as interested in this a lot of times)
Less judgemental
More complimentary
Less emotionally reserved and more willing to talk about feelings
More protective
More of a gentleman in how they treat women
Less critical
More supportive, emotionally
Put more emphasis on family and ties to friends

AND…what I know you really want to know…IN the bedroom

More emotionally expressive and PASSIONATE
More appreciative of my body
More dominant and commanding
More sensual and “romantic”
Care more about my pleasure in a non-supplicating way
Less selfish
More experienced

OF COURSE-

There are plenty of lame black men out there too, but I do seem to be able to find what I am looking for more often and I do love the color contrast of dark skin on lighter skin in bed.  I’ve been with a couple of white guys that were good in bed but they didn’t open up as much.  I’ve also had a disproportionate amount of one night stands with white guys.  It’s like they are quicker to hit it and quit it or think of you as “slutty” afterwards. 

My other deal with the white guys I have come across on dating sites is that they seem to go to extremes.  It’s like they are either super passive or they go crazy with it and take “dominant” to mean rough, aggressive and MEAN, which I hate.  I once put out a Craigslist ad looking for a “freak” in the bedroom.  It was like all the black guys knew exactly what I meant but the white guys were talking about totally off the wall shit, involving all kinds of props and stuff that I would never want to do.  I don’t know, maybe that’s just part of the communication barrier I was talking about earlier.

I know some of you all are probably chomping at the bit by now, but these are just my observations, experiences and feelings.  Thoughts?

Loving the “benefits” that come with this one

pocketing money

Let me tell you, there are some real perks to seeing a guy with money.  I’ve been spending more time with the Producer lately and I’m rather enjoying all the little “extras”.  It’s SO nice to be able to go out and do basically whatever we want, without having to worry about how much it costs! 

He’s been coming here twice, sometimes three times, a week and getting a hotel.  He has a house in his home city but travels south of here for work and stops through on his way.  However, his roommate situation down there is about to change and he’s decided to get an apartment here, closer to me, for when he is in town.

I admit I was a little concerned when he first mentioned wanting to move closer to me, rather than down where he is staying now. I guess it made me feel a little claustrophobic and worried that he wants more than a FWB thing.  He reminded me that he spends quite a bit on hotels here each week anyhow so it really would be more cost efficient for him.  That’s probably true, even if he gets one of these luxury apartments very close by.  For now, he’s on a waiting list for those and going to stay at another nice apartment across town. 

He had thought about getting a roommate here and a bigger place but every time he arranged to meet someone and they discovered he was black they bailed out.  He was getting pretty discouraged and finally decided it would be better to get his own place. If only they knew.  People are so stupid.

 He’s probably way better at paying his share of the bill and a better roommate than half the redneck white guys in this area.  This is admittedly a rather backwoods and racist area to live in though.  One of the women he works with, who lives on the expensive side of town, said that every time she’s had a black neighbor they’ve left within six months due to the way people act.  Despicable, but I am not all that surprised.

Anyhow, he’s moving closer and likely I’ll be seeing him even more.  That’s not such a bad thing and he’s still gone a lot to his other home and on constant trips across the nation and overseas.  So it’s not like he should be breathing down my back or anything, lol.  I do like spending time with him, just want my freedom to play with others as well, without any drama. 

So far that is actually going pretty well.  I haven’t had much chance to play with anyone else lately but I have been in contact with my Fuck Buddy and I’m pretty sure we will be meeting up again soon.  The Producer may not LIKE me fucking around with other guys but verbally he’s saying it’s okay because he is messing around with people too.

 He actually wants me to meet up for dinner with him and a woman he is considering sleeping with soon.  It’s her and her husband, who just wants to watch, and he says he wants me along because he thinks it’s a little bit of an odd situation.  However, after talking a bit with him over dinner last night, I think I’ve discovered the REAL reason, lol. 

According to him she is really into women too and he wants her to meet me. Surprise, surprise.  Men… sheesh. :p Anyhow, as long as I don’t have to sleep with her husband, maybe, I guess we will see.

I’ve been getting treated to a lot of dinners lately, and drinks, and he even took me to a concert the other night.  It was one of my favorite rap groups from back in the mid 90’s, lol.  Wouldn’t you know it, in this town, there was such a small showing of people it was ridiculous!!  There were like under 100 people in the venue.  It was crazy.  We are talking a group that was pretty damn popular back in the day and draws in huge crowds in large cities…at least ones where people have actually heard some rap music before, besides like, Snoop Dog (or is it Snoop Lion?  Is he even “rap” anymore?  More like pop, but whatever…)

We still had fun. 🙂 Because they apparently weren’t even expecting a big crowd, it was held in a place that wouldn’t fit a lot of people anyway, and we were right up close to the stage.  Oh, and while we were waiting through the mostly lame opening acts, we went and fucked in his car in the parking lot, haha…and afterwards in it again, in my driveway, when he dropped me home.  Bad, bad, bad…hopefully my neighbors were fast asleep… 😉

So here I got to see one of my dream groups from back in high school, all because I mentioned it offhand to the Producer that they were going to be in town.  He was like “then I’ll buy us tickets”.  It’s so easy for him!  I love that!! 😀 How am I ever going to go back to seeing guys who don’t take me anywhere fun and pay for it??  LOL

Oh and he bought go-cart passes for my kids and I because I had mentioned the other day we were there and I could only afford to let each of them ride one ride.  We’d been staying in a friend’s condo for a little vacation and it was fun but we were financially limited as to what we could do.  So he bought TWO passes for my family, which amounts to $240.   

He’s also taking us to get a couple’s massage on my birthday and I am excited about that!! Plus we went and saw “We’re the Millers” at the movie theater the other day too. (I thought it was funny, even if some of it was cheesy and over the top, haha)  I’m getting spoiled. 😉  He keeps talking about taking me to Vegas with him.  Ahhhh…the life ;).

Last night we went out to a bar with a woman we had met there previously.  She is another single mom and had shown up by herself. After we all got to talking, she took my number.  She called wanting to hang out and since he was going to be in town, we all went together. 

He bought us lots of shots and we had gone up to the jukebox to pick some music.  It cracked me up because she unknowingly picked a song that he produced, by the popular artist he has won Grammy’s for.  I went back and whispered that she had been the one who picked the song, not me, and he laughed.  He had told her he was a janitor.  I could tell she didn’t believe that one but it was amusing in any case. Later on he started name dropping when some guy who had his own band was talking to him and her eyes nearly popped out of her head.  I’m sure he probably gets a lot of women with stuff like that, lol.  Smh…

Right now what we have going on is pretty low drama.  I’m trying to keep it that way.  Obviously I’m a bit motivated by all the side “benefits” too, don’t wanna lose those, haha. 😉 I’m a little worried about the apartment thing, and hoping it doesn’t keep us from going out and doing stuff though.  He has dropped a couple of comments about how then I could cook him dinner.  Bleah.  Not that I don’t love to cook, I do, but I do it every day for myself and my kids so it would take the fun out of getting to go out, which is more relaxing.  It’s nice for me to be able to get out and get a break. 

Also, I’m a little concerned about what I am going to be able to do for HIM when his birthday rolls around.  There is no way I could manage to do anything comparable, price wise.  I may have to cook him dinner then, or something, but that still doesn’t seem like much.  It’s right before Christmas too, when I’m at my financial worst, trying to provide gifts for my children, one of whom also has a birthday at that time.  Guess I will have to worry about that when the time comes!!  In the meantime I’m making the most of what I can right now because who knows how long this will last?  Hopefully a while, but you just never know!! 

 

 

 

Big black men… is it true?

bb

First of all, beware that this is a racially charged topic. I think it’s important to realize that ALL people, whether we are black, white, or whatever hold some stereotypes in our minds and sometimes there is a grain of truth behind them but that DOESN’T mean we can make blanket assumptions about EVERY person that belongs to that group. You just can’t, because even if a stereotype holds somewhat true there are always exceptions to the rule. I also hope we can discuss this like mature adults without insults towards any group of people. With that said, come on, let’s drop the worries about being politically correct too. If we can’t be open and discuss varying experiences then it actually BREEDS racism because being afraid to TALK about things from different viewpoints is what keeps folks in the dark and leaves them to their wild imaginations, reinforcing negative ideas, fear, and hatred of others.

Also, realize that although I am white myself I grew up in a home where I was the only all white kid and I am used to what might sometimes seem like wildly inappropriate jokes about “white people” and “black people”, lol. So forgive me if sometimes I seem like I’m doing the very thing I am preaching against! Haha… I’m not really a racist at all and in fact it is one of my pet peeves although some of the stuff I say in this blog might come across as otherwise to people who don’t understand where I am coming from.

Okay, done with the lecture, let’s get to the real topic at hand and the question everyone everywhere has been dying to know and hear about from a female who has had the opportunity to make some assessments, lol. 😉

DO BLACK MEN REALLY HAVE BIGGER DICKS???

The other day, at the last swinger party I attended with the Professor, we were standing in a room watching some people have sex when a typical country- boy white guy walked into the room and made a typically clueless statement and assumption about the Professor and the only other black man there. He was like “you guys are lucky because you have the big dicks” and started going on about how unfair it was that black men always have huge cocks. Of course this was said without having ever SEEN either of these men naked. How would he know that either one of them was sporting a huge package? He didn’t! But he thought he did because of all the “rumors” that this is true and due to who knows how much porn he has seen where black men with large penises are fetishized.

Now besides porn, there is the added practice in the swinger community of bringing black men in to have sex with white couples in a fantasy/fetish way that honestly creeps me the fuck out because it comes across as flat out racist. They call the guys “bulls” and “studs” and even have these parties that I have heard referred to as “mandingo” parties where they bring in black men to have sex with guys wives in order to feed into cuckhold fantasies and fetishes. Now, I’m not one to judge people for their fantasies, I just find it disturbing because the focus seems to be on the skin color of the participants and because of the attitudes of some of these white couples that any random black guy with a big cock will do.

It bothers me very much when I think of these men being objectified like that. However, they obviously don’t mind or they wouldn’t be doing it! And of course they get lots of sex out of the deal and what man doesn’t like that? So it is easy to see why the practice continues and not too many people are complaining. I mean, this is an activity where consenting adults are agreeing to do something so that is really their business. I once recently even saw a swinger party advertised as a “BBC Party” in a nearby city, and it was taking place in a predominately black area. Having a big, black, cock is definitely sort of a “novelty” thing for some.

I have had the opportunity to talk to a few guys who have been involved in this sort of exchange and it is interesting to say the least. Sometimes they seem to get off on the idea too, of course, though some guys, like the Professor, seem to find it odd as well and feel a little uncomfortable with it but go right ahead and fuck the women anyway. He has said he’s not really into the gangbang thing however.

I’ve known a few different black men that have told me white couples have actually PAID them to fuck the wife. One guy told me a man paid him to have sex with his fiancé while he watched and another guy mentioned having sex with a woman that he wasn’t very attracted to simply because her husband gave him $500 dollars. He said it wasn’t that bad and she wasn’t bad in bed even though she was kinda fat and ugly. Nice. I can see how this would be appealing to a lot of black men, especially those who aren’t doing well financially. I guess it’s sort of like women who have a sugar daddy, sometimes. These couples are taking them out on their boats and on vacations and giving them all kinds of privileges just to have sex with the wife. Again, they are doing this of their own choosing but it still seems exploitative.

So anyway, back to the question at hand. Do black guys REALLY have bigger cocks to begin with?? Or is this a myth? The Professor asked my opinion, kind of indirectly, after the conversation the other day at the swinger party. He was like “you’ve seen a lot”, which is true, though he doesn’t know my actual numbers. I gave him kind of a pat answer about it “not necessarily” being the case, though maybe on average they are a little bigger, which is true, but I didn’t want to delve into too much detail because I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to hear about other guys dicks that I have had sex with. I also thought it a conversation better not gone into over text because things can be misunderstood and misconstrued and he has shown some uneasiness at my past exploits before. SO, I focused more on being appreciative of his (rather well) endowment and you guys get to hear my thoughts on the matter instead! For now, lol, lucky you!! Maybe I will tell him more later if we are still talking.

I have personally slept with a lot more black men than white, so it’s not really a fair sample but I’ve done both. I’ve also ONCE had sex with an Asian guy, who was averagely endowed, maybe 6 inches, and a couple of Hispanic dudes who were both punching in at around 6.5-7. That’s all I’m gonna say about that because that’s really all I’ve seen, lol. I have also seen quite a few black and white penises that I haven’t ACTUALLY slept with, like guys I have given blow jobs to or a hand job at some point. Oh, and there was a guy that was a mix of Jamaican, Hawaiian, Japanese and white that I have messed with but we never had actual sex. Lucky him, he had it from all sides, lol, and I’d estimate him to be about 7.

Keep in mind though that I kind of suck at estimating things!! I may be hugely over or under estimating EVERYONE, who knows?? Once a girl and I who had slept with several of the SAME GUYS got into a discussion about dick size and one guy I thought was HUGE she thought was small. WTF? I was thinking he had like a 9 inch cock and she was like “are you kidding me?” I also thought he was GREAT in bed and he was my absolute favorite at the time, but she thought he sucked. Just goes to show how much sexual chemistry between two people matters and makes all the difference. If a woman thinks you are great in bed she probably also thinks you have THE BEST COCK EVER at the time! I know that is how I am anyway. Sometimes we even overestimate how big you are, like when we like you our emotions so color our view that it makes your cock grow in our head, lol. I also don’t consider myself a “size queen” because I am more interested in how he uses it than what he is sporting. It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean and all that. Still, my two current favorites in the sack both claim to be about 8 inches, and the Professor has commented that I “really like it deep”, so maybe I do like them kind of big. Hmmmm….

On that note, I will mention that I personally think there is such a thing as TOO BIG. The biggest guy I ever had sex with was 11 ¼ inches. HUGE, and I know his exact size only because OTHER guys were telling me that. They were all so jealous but they really needn’t be. He couldn’t even get it in all the way and it was awkward for him to maneuver and hurting me and the sex wasn’t all that good at all. I’d consider a cock that big something of a handicap, to be honest. He was biracial by the way, so no telling if he got that giant dick from the white side or the black, though I’m sure most in our society would assume the latter. I also slept with a guy once that had probably the shortest cock I have ever seen, maybe 4 inches, but it was so freaking wide I could barely get on it. It was like the width of a coke can, for real, and it made me tear and bleed and was so unpleasant that I never slept with him again. He was black.

Personal experience though, from a woman who has had sex with over 40 black men and at least 10 white guys and seen quite a few more, would say that on average the white guys ranged from maybe 5.5-8 inches and the black men were more like 6.5-9. So yes, slightly bigger. Still not a HUGE difference and really it correlates with the studies you will see on the subject.

When I was younger I had only heard the black men are bigger theory from black guys and I thought they were full of shit and just basically tooting their own horns. I didn’t believe there was any actual basis in fact. Even now, I have seen a couple of pretty big white guys so it does happen. I have also seen plenty of black guys that were in the 6-7 range and I’d even go so far as to say that is “most”. What kills me is that often black men who are a very nice sized will sometimes say they are “average” because there is this expectation that they are supposed to be HUGE. I also once had an encounter with a black guy that I couldn’t tell you whether or not was actual sex. It was dark and I was drunk and he put what felt like a finger inside of me and later claimed we had had sex to others. If we did then he had the smallest dick I’ve ever experienced and if that is the case I can only imagine how that might make him feel with all these high expectations.

Nowadays I hear a lot of white guys making the claim that “all black guys are huge”. I guess this is said out of jealousy to some extent but it’s also an unfair assumption to make. A lot of black men are just “normal” or maybe slightly bigger than average and there are even some out there that are on the small side. Not all white guys are average sized either, there are a few that are pretty darn big! That said I have been with a fair amount of black men that are in the 8-9 inch range. Maybe 15? I seem to be coming across it more lately and that probably has some to do with the fact that I have met guys off the swinger site (which attracts bigger black guys) and places like Craigslist where they are advertising that fact (like the married man I sleep with). Still my current fwb is pretty darn big too and I met him on OKCupid. It might appear that I am choosing guys based on their dick size, lol, or even on their skin color, but that’s honestly not it. I am attracted to certain traits like confidence and dominance and I think men with larger sized cocks seem to come by those more easily sometimes. It’s probably due to their self –perception, because men tie up their own worth into their cocks more so than I think women do. Also, my penchant for black men is really probably more a product of having grown up around more people of color than white folks and just feeling safer and more comfortable talking to them. It’s not a “fetish”.

Anyway, in conclusion, you can’t judge a cock by it’s cover. Don’t assume until you’ve seen him take off those pants that you know what he’s packing. I’ve also heard the myth that short guys have shorter dicks and that I can assure you is NOT the case. Most of the guys I have been with recently that are sporting 8-9 inches below the belt aren’t much taller than me (5’6”). There are all kinds of body shapes and cock sizes and I rarely meet a cock I don’t like ;). If I like the GUY I’m probably gonna fall in love with his cock too.

So don’t be so quick to stereotype. Yes there are probably more black men with bigger sized dicks than there are white guys overall, but that doesn’t speak to ALL. Yes, at the first swinger party where we had a six-some with two white couples the Professor was clearly bigger than both of the other guys but that again was an isolated case. I’m no mathematician but it’s probably SOMEWHAT more likely to be that way but, like everything else in life not a guarantee. The only thing I can guarantee you about black men is that they are all stubborn and bullheaded as hell if you get into an argument and you will never win. I’m kidding… 😉 Kind of…. (try and prove me wrong!! LMAO!!)