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“I’m not like those other guys who just want sex…”

cuddling

I had a pretty chill Valentines Day this year. Mostly spent it with my kids but I was happy to hear from all the current guys from my life. Even Mr. Firm, who was off on a little romantic getaway with his girlfriend, remembered to text me, which put a smile on my face. It definitely helped combat the single-girl blues to know that there are a few guys who cared enough to say something. 🙂

The roads were finally clear enough for me to head to the city this weekend.  I had some business to do up there and the Host said I could stay overnight with him.  He said he had planned to go to to some swinger parties in another city and had three different couples lined up where he was supposed to have sex with the wife, but cancelled because of me. 

He claimed he would rather spend time with me and that we could go to some swinger parties.  He had reserved a hotel at one, then later decided we would go to two and “network” with some of the club owners in the area that he had spoken with.  They are working with him to help promote some of his parties.  He hopes to eventually open a club.

I got to his house around 8 pm and got ready to go out.  He stopped at the liquor store on the way and grabbed a couple bottles of wine.  He also brought along a couple of bottles of water, or so I thought, until I tried to take a drink out of one of them at the party and discovered it was vodka, lol.  I wasn’t the only one who made that mistake. 😉

Beforehand, he warned me that we were only going to spend a couple of hours at the first party, then we’d be going to a second.  He’d cancelled the hotel reservation and said if we brought anyone home it would be the club owners. 

The first party was the hotel one I once went to with Mr. Motorcycle.  It wasn’t near as packed as it had been the first time, but I did recognize a couple of familiar faces.  We put our coats and things down at a table with a couple of people. A woman I’ve met before came up to chat with me, while Mr. Host wandered off and was talking to people across the room.

When the woman left I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself.  I politely talked with the women sitting at the table for a minute but that was pretty boring.  Mr. Host seemed occupied, socializing, and I didn’t want to stand there looking like a dork.  I knew I didn’t want to be stuck at a table the whole time, like I was when I went to that party with Mr. Motorcycle, though.

Mr. Firm and I had actually talked about some of this beforehand and he had given me some advice.  He’d said to make sure and talk to the Host beforehand about boundaries and expectations, but I’d completely forgotten to do that (oops).  He also recommended getting a key to the hotel room myself if we got one (we didn’t) and that if he ignored me, not to just sit there but get up and do my own thing. 

I didn’t really know a lot of people there but I figured if I got up and walked around probably someone would say something to me.  So I went into the kitchen, where they had some hors d’oeurves. I was accosted by single guys who were standing around the food. 

One of the guys was the friend of the Pilot’s, whom he’d tried to get me to stay in a hotel room with, before our big blowout.  This guy had also danced with me at another party when I was with Mr. Motorcycle, but Mr. Motorcycle had wanted me to himself. He said his girlfriend was not with him this time, but that they were still really interested in getting together with me.  I already knew this because they had sent me a few emails, plus the Pilot had asked if I wanted them to have my number.  I’d told him no and not been answering them.

Anyhow, I was kind of trying to extract myself from the guy, when Mr. Host walked in and pulled me out, to introduce me to some people.  He was still following close on our heels and Mr. Host sort of gave him a look and he backed off.  We then went to talk with club owners. 

Mr. Host left me with them for a bit and was off doing his own thing across the room again.  So these good looking, white guys, who were visiting from Germany, approached me and we got into a long conversation.  They said they worked for the government and were American citizens but had been in Germany for 13 years and were only here for a few weeks on business.  They were telling me all about the swinger scene in Germany and I was pretty fascinated. 

They said they would love to have a threesome with me and that they had a big suite reserved at the hotel.  I told them I was here with someone and they asked who, so I pointed him out.  They said they were having a bunch of people over later to their room, including this couple nearby that they pointed out (very pretty woman and reasonably attractive man) and that he and I were both welcome to join them. 

After we’d been talking for a bit I notice that Mr. Host and some other guy are standing not too far away, watching us.  The other guy that had been trying to talk to me was standing not too far on the other side, watching us as well.  The German guys were like, “I see you have a fan club” …lmao.

So then Mr. Host walks right up between the guys and tells them that I am going to come with him for a minute and pulls me out to the dance floor.  I told him that the guys invited us to come back to their room later with a bunch of people and he says they aren’t even on the swinger site and just showed up here at the party.  We danced for a bit and then he was like “okay, now you can go back and talk to them again”.

I did for a bit but they didn’t mention coming back to their room again.  I was talking a bit with Mr. Host and some other people and this one black girl I have seen at some other parties (her husband is white) asks me if I know how to dance.  I was like “mmm..” and did a “so-so” motion with my hand so Mr. Host laughs and asks me to dance with him again.  Then afterwards the black girl pulled me out with her on the dance floor and said “quit lyin, I see you on that beat”.   We were playing around dancing for awhile and she later emailed me and wants to keep in touch.

I danced a little more with the Host but we didn’t spend a ton of time together.  He was teasing me about how I’d get my “30 seconds” (of sex) with him later and I’m saying “yeah right” but hoping he’s really joking, hahaha.  Because lord knows, I’ve had that experience a few too many times. 😉  He was also acting wild and crazy on the dance floor with this one black woman, who was down on her hands with her ass in the air and he is simulating like he is fucking her/at a rodeo and everyone is laughing at them. 

Mr. Host at some point told me that the D.J. at the party had seen and was asking about me.  He said “this guy really likes you”.  Sure enough, Mr. D.J. (a skinny white guy with a bunch of tattoos) was wanting to talk to me and telling me how gorgeous he thought I was and how he isn’t like the other guys and just here for sex.  Um, okay.

The Pilot’s friend found me again and said he saw me talking to the white guys and was going to “rescue” me because he knows my “flavor is not vanilla” but that he had decided to let me “flounder” for a bit.  Whatever, lol.  Then he wanted me to talk with him in a back room, beside the kitchen. 

He pulls me over there and tells me that he and his girlfriend really like me and that his girlfriend had told him that of all the women she’s seen at the parties I am the only one she would consider doing a bi thing with.  She doesn’t normally go for women, he said, but thought that I had “kind eyes”.  Then he goes on to tell me all about how he is “not like the other guys” and “just here for sex” (gosh, we’ve never heard that one before, now have we?  lmao).  He was like telling me all this stuff about how his girlfriend said he could find a girlfriend for himself and that he would like to help me move into my new house when I come to town and take my kids to air shows and it was like ooookay…hahaha

Mr. Host finally texted the guy and said that if I am with him, he is leaving the party.  So I hightailed it out of there, got my stuff and left with him to the next place.  While he was pulling up his truck for me, I was standing in the lobby talking to this woman who said she was there with some guy while his wife was with her “sub” because she is a dominatrix.  You meet the most interesting people in the lifestyle, lol.

I’m going to cut this short here and finish the rest of the story (the more exciting parts) later so it doesn’t get too long. 😉  Don’t worry, there is more to come.  I just think its hilarious that all these people at swinger parties try to act like they aren’t in it for the sex.  Mr. Host told me the EXACT SAME THING when we first met but when I brought it up on the drive to the next party, he pretended to think it was crazy that anyone would say that if they are in the lifestyle.  Oh yeah, and he was also “not like the other guys”….yeaaahh…neither is the guy I saw at the last swinger party, who found me on Plenty of Fish. Or so says his profile 😉

Orgy party, part 1

party

I had quite the fuckfest this weekend. 🙂  Unfortunately my computer is still giving me problems and so I am at the library with only time for a short write up.   I’ll try to make it brief.

My second house party was this weekend.  I was invited by a man I will refer to as Mr. Host.  He’s got an office job that he does from home as well as a job in security where he is some sort of manager.  He is the one I went out on a date with, with a couple where he was here to have sex with the wife, but who had yet to try and fuck me.  He had suggested I help him out with his parties by assisting in greeting people and possibly joining his couples profile (I haven’t agreed to do that but he wanted me to think about it). 

Anyhow, he wired me some gas money to come up there and added in a little extra for food and liquor.  In total, because he ended up helping me with gas on my way home, he gave me $100.  He had also said if I showed up early enough before the party he would take me to buy a Santa outfit to wear from Victoria’s Secret. 

Unfortunately (well, it ended up being rather fortunately) I was unable to make it by the time he suggested.  Instead, I opted to meet Mr. Firm at his hotel beforehand.  Whooo, am I glad I did that!  OMFG that man can fuck!!  We actually had the hotel front desk person call and then knock on the door, due to a noise complaint, lmao.  :::: Blushing :::  but it’s his fault ;).

God, he is soooo good, and I couldn’t say enough things about how wonderful and perfect he is, in every way.  He’s like the most awesomest fwb any woman could ever hope for.  Sooo glad I met him!!  Not only is he my second favorite sex of all time, but he’s just cool as hell as a person.  He gives the best advice, he’s honest and knows how to set boundaries and make me feel comfortable with things.  He’s been in the lifestyle for like 9 years or more, so I’m sure that helps.

There were at least two other women (wives) that had contacted him prior to the party and wanted to meet (fuck) him.  He let me know about this upfront and told me exactly how he would act towards me at the party.  He said he would flirt with me and probably fuck me and dance together and that if things got uncomfortable with staying at the host house, I could come to his hotel with him.  Then he also let me know that he would probably fuck these other women too and maybe have a couple back to his hotel at some point.  He just wanted to be sure I knew that.  I really LIKE it when a guy is honest with me like that because it helps me to be mentally prepared for what may happen and then I can handle it all.

At one point I did kind of question him about how he was going to be able to handle it.  I asked if all these women wanted to fuck him, if he thought he’d really be up to the task.  He was like “I’ll eat my Wheaties” which made me bust out laughing.  I’m telling you, he is really my kind of guy, and smart too! Of course he’s taken and totally unavailable for more than a fwb thing but he doesn’t lead me on about that or anything either. 

I think it was a really good move to have me with him at the hotel first.   He fucked the hell out of me and I would have been happy as a clam if that was all the sex I got.  He later said the same thing, it would have made him happy enough too, but we both ended up having some other fun. 😉

I showered in his hotel room and then headed off to the party.  He told me he’d be fashionably late, an hour or so later, and did exactly as he promised. 

At the door were some security guys who turned out to be cousins of the host.  They weren’t there from the swinger website and Mr. Host said they were more there to keep an eye on things than to play, but they could and might later on.  I thought they were kind of hot and could tell they liked me too.

Mr. Host got me set up with a wine glass (everyone else was drinking out of plastic cups) and my wine I had bought with the money.  He told me to greet people and flirt and have fun.  So, I flitted about like a little social butterfly and did just that.  It was actually kind of fun not having a guy with me because I was free to talk to pretty much anyone without any worries. 

When Mr. Firm arrived we didn’t spend a lot of time together, but I’d walk by him and we’d stop and kiss for a little bit, or he’d grab my ass and wink or something and we’d smile at each other.  I bragged on him a little bit to a couple of other women and one of them agreed.  She’d apparently fucked him before too, but I can’t even remember who it was. 

I know the other lady was the one who had called me a bitch and gone out with the Referee at the last party.  I made up with her too.  I went up to her and was nice and told her not to worry about all that stuff and that I loved her dress, was girlfriend chatty with her and hugged her and stuff. She seemed relieved.  What can I say, when I get to drinking I am usually super friendly and touchy feely with people.

What’s funny is that she later validated Mr. Firm and said she hopes to see him again.  He said he’d only briefly even spoken to her and I said it must have been my reference, ha! Everyone else seemed really nice and Mr. Motorcycle never showed up. 
I danced on the pole in the basement for awhile, though it was thicker than a “real” pole so a little harder to do, lol. I was feeling great.

Unfortunately, by around 10 pm I had drunk over a bottle and a half of 10% alcohol wine and was not feeling so hot.  I went into a back room and the security guys helped me change clothes into a bustier and garter and g-string but I suddenly felt too dizzy to get up.  I ended up on the floor of the bathroom feeling sick (though I never threw up or anything) and they carried me to the master bed, where I passed out for like 4 hours.

Mr. Firm said a lot more people came to the party and there were some threesomes and foursomes but he didn’t do that this time.  He did say he played some but didn’t specify with who.  He says he had fun and that he had gone back and seen me out cold once on the bed.  When I woke up he was gone and when I tried to text he was already asleep. (He said no one had come back to his hotel). 

I was still dizzy but had gotten up and walked through the house to see who was still around.  There were a few couples and single women lingering, as well as the security guys, but it was 2 am.  I lay down on the bed and an older man who had been checking on me from time to time came in.  He saw I was feeling better and said he wanted to make me enjoy myself.  He pulled aside my panties and started licking.  Holy hell, he was good with his tongue! 

He started fingering me and it was feeling really good but I was still dizzy.  He stopped and said that was just a preview of what would come later, winked and walked out of the room.  5 seconds later, in walks two of the security dudes.  They saw me lying there looking better and obviously a little bit horny.  One guy said he thought I was the hottest woman there and he’d been waiting for this all night.  They had been coming in to check on me and giving me drinks of ice water and making sure I was okay from time to time because Mr. Host had asked them too. 

Earlier in the night these guys had joked with me that they come as a “packaged deal”.  Well, yeah.  They are cousins and I fucked the one and gave the other a blow job, at the same time.  I was still dizzy so ended up being on my side for a bit, but the one guy I blew came all over my chest and the other one finished up in the condom he was wearing.  He was like “damn that pussy is good, I’m definitely going to come here and see you again”.  Then they left.

Damn…this is just the beginning but I have to get off the library computer.  They close in 5 min.  To be continued…..

 

 

 

Pole dancing and picking up girlfriends

poledance

Meeting guys is easy. Dating sites, sex sites, Craigslist, bars, walking through the grocery store, you name it, there are all sorts of places to meet men. I tend to get hit on pretty frequently when I am out without my children, and sometimes when I have them with me. Not necessarily by anyone I WANT to be hit on by, lol, but whatever, it still boosts my ego.

Not that I am out very often sans kids. It’s quite rare, actually. They are mostly attached to my hip when I’m in public. So that hampers things a bit too. In the event that a guy talks to me with my kids standing there, I am much more reserved and unlikely to show interest. That hasn’t stopped a random guy from KISSING me in the grocery store parking lot awhile back (while my kids were in the van after he followed us out)and occasional men hounding for my number or simply talking and appearing interested. My 13 year old son sometimes points out his observations to me. “That guy likes you”. Yeah, HE can even tell, lol.

I’m not horrible looking or anything but I also don’t look like a supermodel. I think the reason I get hit on a lot probably has more to do with the fact that I smile a lot and maybe look “approachable”. I’m generally polite and friendly to strangers. Sometimes guys take this to mean more than it actually does.

One of my sisters, who is quite attractive, claims men rarely talk to her. I think in her case it has more to do with the fact that she appears “closed” and brushes people off. She’s not as open and warm. If I didn’t know her I wouldn’t talk to her either. I’d be afraid she’d tell me off, lol.

In any case, I find meeting men to basically be a piece of cake. If I want to go on a date, I just go glance through the zillions of emails I have on Plenty of Fish or OkCupid and pick a few to respond to on a night I have free. Usually at least one will ask me out right then. OR I throw out a Craigslist ad and generally get several responses before they flag and take it down. Then there’s the swinger site and an occasional option there that seems interesting. That doesn’t always wield great results, but hey it’s easy to at least find a guy who wants to meet.

They’re everywhere, even if the ones I genuinely LIKE and have good chemistry with are fewer and farther between. I’ve heard the statistic somewhere that there are 500 men for every woman on online dating sites! I don’t know if that’s actually the case but there are definitely a lot of fish in the sea, whether they are good catches or not. Of course, I also have a few men in my life that I like and have available for sex already, even though they don’t all live close by. So generally, guys are easy.

Now WOMEN on the other hand, are really difficult. I’m not even talking about for sex. Men complain about that I know, but I’m just talking friendship. It’s really hard for me to meet female friends. Ladies, you know how we are. Often cliquish and reluctant to let a new woman into the fold.

Don’t get me wrong, I have women friends that I’ve known since childhood and I have sisters. They all live far away, though it’s great to talk on the phone and have an occasional visit. The women I know around here are mostly people I knew during the years I was married to a man in ministry. So that means they are hardcore Conservative Christians. Most of them are married. I’m the odd woman out.

Anyway, despite the male attention, I really MISS having some girlfriends to hang out with! When the Professor goes on his guys nights out (he plays poker with some guy friends once in a while and not too long ago took a road trip to watch a football game, stuff like that), I’m happy for him but it also makes me wish even more that I had some female company as well. The problem is where to find some!

I’m not really in a position to go out often without my children. I used to be in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and met a lot of women there but it also has that Christian focus. Lovely ladies and we had fun but they aren’t women I can let down with and enjoy a glass of wine or more adult activities. I also felt that pressure to put on a certain “face” and be that perfect wife and mother around them. When I got divorced I felt a little bit ostracized. The same was very much true for my experience with women in the church. Suddenly my “friends” weren’t so “friendly” anymore, now that I am divorced. That was a part of why we dipped out of church and all its accompanying fakeness.

Shortly after my divorce I wanted to meet some other single females to hang out with that were more my speed so I tried a local Meetup group. I met with a couple of ladies for drinks and it was fairly nice but they were all married and a bit boring. Still I would have gone out with them again if my ex- husband’s schedule hadn’t changed to where he wasn’t taking the children in the evenings. Due to that I was unable to attend meetings for quite a while and they dropped me from the list. 😦 Finding and affording childcare for me to have time to go out is generally difficult.

Anyway, the last time the Professor had a men’s poker night and was sending me pics of the guys playing and stuff I told him I really wished I had a way to meet some other women and he had a great (and obvious- duh!) idea! He said what about at the gym? I was like I never talk to women at the gym, we are mostly just on our own machines working out with headphones on. He said what about taking a class?

The wheels started turning, how could I not have thought about that?? I work out daily anyway and have a membership at the YMCA. There is free childcare there and plenty of classes offered. I’d seen some aerobic dance classes going on a while back and even seen friends of mine post stuff on Facebook about Zumba, which totally sounded like my cup of tea! I love doing dance style workouts at home.

I immediately went down and got a schedule and they offer Crossfit and Zumba and Pilates and a few other different classes. The Zumba classes are offered in the evenings at a time that would be great for me and you don’t have to sign up but just show up whenever you want to come. PERFECT! 🙂 I went to three classes last week and really enjoyed it. Decent music and the moves are fun and easy to follow. The women seemed nice though the instructor one of the days and another woman were going on about a great worship service at church, so yeah, more church ladies but maybe not everyone.

Anyhow, the Professor made another comment about me liking my pole dancing experience at the last swinger party and he wondered if they offered classes about that. Of course the Y here doesn’t. They have classes that only play Contemporary Christian music though. Gagging here, that is like the worst music ever. I can’t STAND Contemporary Christian music, even all those years in church. I’d much rather listen to gospel or hymns or praise and worship music than Contemporary Christian, it just SUCKS, lol. It all sounds the same and is just horrible. One of the reasons I was turned off by one guy I had sex with a couple of times was because he insisted on blasting this horrible sounding music by Creed in the car when he was driving and telling me how great it was. YUCK!! How can anyone listen to that shit? But I digress…

So anyway, I decided to look online for pole dancing classes in this area. At first I couldn’t find anything and thought it was a hopeless search. THEN I finally came across a place a few miles out of town that offers some pole dancing classes that are a combination of that with belly dancing, yoga, pilates and some other stuff. The whole place sounded really hippy and New Age, but kind of intriguing. They were very mysterious as to what they actually do there, only women are allowed and it’s way out in the middle of nowhere on some kind of renovated farm down a dirt road. The descriptions were very mystical.

The intro class was only $25. I had to try it, to see what this place was all about. Since my ex hadn’t taken the kids the previous weekend I had a reason to ask him to take them during the week too so I made an appointment.

Last night I dropped off the children and drove for about thirty minutes in the sleet down dark country roads looking for this place. I finally found it. There were some sort of creepy decorations on the gate and I drove down a long gravel drive to park outside the building where it would be held. Honestly I was feeling slightly afraid. Like, are these actually serial killers? Why is it way out in the middle of nowhere, why are they so secretive about what they do and why is it only women? It was dark and raining ice and that didn’t help. However, when I pulled up there was another woman arriving at the same time who had never been there before. We weren’t sure if we were even in the right spot because there were several buildings but decided to walk up the stone path to what looked like a remodeled cabin or garage of some sort.

Walking through the door we were greeted by a receptionist in a very relaxing, spa-like atmosphere and asked to fill out some forms. We joined two other girls who were doing the same, on some nice comfortable couches. On the wall were nude paintings of men and women dancing and sitting on park benches. I picked up what looked like a mint out of a bowl on the front desk, unwrapped it and popped it in my mouth. It tasted like some sort of organic horehound candy and was spicy too. Blech…

The papers I filled out were at first basic and then I had to sign some interesting forms promising not to share the secrets of what I did and learned there. So I have to be a bit vague, even with you all, sorry! I could hear the strains of “Dirty Diana” playing in the adjoining room before seeing the women in the previous class leave. Like us, there were only about 4 of them, one older woman maybe in her early 40’s and a few twenty- somethings.

The women in my class were in their early and late twenties or so, other than me, but I didn’t feel out of place. The instructor was older than me and the website made sure to assure us that all body types and ages were more than welcome. A few of us needed to use the restroom, so we had to leave the building and walk through the cold, wet weather into an adjoining building, past screaming cats in a garage and into what appeared to be someone’s house and laundry room. The mirror in the restroom was completely covered with little notes saying things like “you are a Goddess” and “your body is beautiful”.

We returned to the main building. Once we got signed in we were asked to leave our coats and purses and shoes in cubby holes and were taken into a darkened room with a few stripper poles and sat down on mats on the floor. The instructor was joined by the woman who was behind the desk.

The room and the atmosphere, I can only describe as very unique, yet inviting and warm and relaxing. There was a fake gas fireplace and dim red and yellow lanterns adorned the ceiling. No mirrors, any windows were completely covered with very dark curtains. It was sort of like being in a cave and had this Wiccan or Pagan “feel” to it. It reminded me a bit of when I was a kid and my grandmother used to take me to a hippy Sufi “church”, where we would light candles and chant.

We went around the room giving brief introductions and backgrounds. One woman had been in the military and wanted to get more in touch with her feminine side. The other two had previous experience in dance (not the erotic kind) and wanted to regain their skill in some way and learn something new. Me, I simply cited curiousity.

Anyhow, what transpired after that, I can’t really describe. We did a lot of relaxing exercises set to music that put you in a somewhat trancelike state, but it was both sexy and a bit like meditation. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. It was nice to let go of all the stress of the week and get lost in this new experience.

Then we got to work learning some sexy stances and exercises and trying a new trick on the poles. They had a couple of regular poles and a spinning one as well. It was amazingly easy to me (though they said they don’t start out with the “easy” moves necessarily) but also fun. I got compliments from the instructors on my gracefulness and ease and the way my long hair looked spinning around on the pole. No one said anything negative to anyone. One woman (the military girl) struggled with a bit of awkwardness but was only given encouragement and helpful tips. There was a lot of cheering on and positive reinforcement.

Afterwards we sat on a soft couch together and watched as the instructors did a demo of what we would learn if we take the regular course. It was mesmerizing, entrancing and something I would definitely like to try! I’m waiting for a little bit of tax money to come in and then pretty sure I will enroll in a short course. It’s really not too expensive and I think it will be a lot of fun. They offer courses at several different times. I think it’ll be awesome, relaxing, a bit empowering and maybe I’ll get to meet new friends too, not to mention learn a few skills that I may get a chance to show off at some point, like at one of the swinger parties. They almost always have a stripper pole standing around somewhere.

Between that and Zumba I at least have a running start in meeting new girlfriends. Women can be hard to get to know sometimes and I realize that in general around here I don’t fit in. I actually feel kinda bad because back when I first got divorced I remember a woman emailing me on OkCupid saying she was really just looking for friendship and didn’t know where to start. I didn’t email her back because at that time she seemed needy and I had a lot on my plate plus it seemed a little odd, but maybe she was just someone like me, who didn’t know where to find other women to relate to! Hopefully things worked out for her and soon will for me as well. 🙂