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Meeting cousin #3

casual in scarf

When I left you all, we were just getting in the truck to drive back to Mr. Host’s house, with a hillbilly couple who wanted to smoke some pot with him.  Me, I stopped smoking weed when I was 19, other than one time at a swinger party when I took a couple hits with a girl in her car.  So, not judging people who do and I don’t really care, but for the most part I avoid it these days.

I was definitely not feeling excited about sitting around while these people smoked up, especially after we got in the truck with them.  The guy was loud, annoying, and drunk.  The woman was nicer and more timid, but she had me rolling my eyes too.

They were sitting behind us and one of the first thing the woman says is “I’m scared”.  Okay, getting in a car with complete strangers, not knowing where you are going, can be scary, but it soon became apparent WHY she was “scared”.  Mr. Duck Dynasty starts talking about how they are “country” folk and not used to these “city” people.  Both he and his wife start hinting, but not actually saying out loud, that they are leery of Mr. Host because he is black.  EYEROLL…..

He reassured them that he is not like some of these “ratchet” people.  He was telling them what a “nice guy” he is and asking me to vouch for him, which I did, but was feeling pretty disgusted with it all.  They acted like he was some thug from the hood and he’s over here in a big old cowboy hat and cowboy boots, driving a nice truck, headed to a nice neighborhood with nice houses.  Dumb.

What made it even worse, is that if there was anyone “scary” in this vehicle, it was the hillbilly, biker dude.  He kept going on about things, like how he’d been in jail, his kid is currently locked up, and how he had all these people out to get him.  We stopped at a gas station for them to run in and get cigarettes and he was freaking out because there was a police car in the parking lot.  Mr. Host wouldn’t let him go inside, due to the way he was acting, and made him send his wife instead.

While she is in the convenience store, the man starts going on about how they have been together 24 years.  He said if anyone messed with his wife, he would kill him, stab him to death.  He described it in gruesome detail, but made sure to add “I mean if it were without my permission of course”. 

I wasn’t saying much and Mr. Host told them to crack the windows. “She doesn’t like the smoke”.  Yeah, and I didn’t like being around these people in general. 

As soon as we got back to the house, I went upstairs.  They were going to smoke in the garage and I really just wanted to go to bed.  I knew it would be a long time, by the time they finished and Mr. Host drove them all the way home.  I figured if he wants to sleep with me at this point, he is going to have to wake me up.

I was totally at “just screw this” and decided to wash off my makeup and get comfortable.  I changed into some purple satin pj pants and a matching camisole, no bra.  As I am walking out of the bathroom, I run into the woman.  She says Mr. Host sent her up here to check on me.

I told her I’m fine, just tired and going to bed.  There was a knock at the door and she freaks out again, saying she is scared.  I wasn’t scared, but I wasn’t about to answer it either, dressed the way I was.  I was hoping he hadn’t invited a bunch of people over to party.  I tried to call him on his phone but we could hear it ringing in the living room and he was out in the garage. 

She finally went downstairs to get him and I crawled into bed.  I could hear people talking, and the hillbilly man asking if Mr. Host could drive him home, so they wouldn’t have to call a cab. Mr. Host came in and asked why I didn’t tell him I didn’t want to hang out, claiming he wouldn’t have brought them home.

Apparently, vehemently stating I would not fuck that guy, wasn’t enough.  Then he tried to get me up to come with him when he drove them back.  I was lying on the bed on my stomach, ready to crash. I asked “can I just stay here?” and he finally said okay. He kissed me on the cheek and left.

I could hear voices in the other room as I started to drift off to sleep. A few minutes later, someone walks in.  It was a black man I had never seen before, dressed nicely, in a coat, hat and scarf.  I sat up. I had to strain a bit to see his face, in the light that was coming from the bathroom. 

He was cute. “Who are you?” I asked, as he started removing layers of clothing. “Mr. Host sent me here to take care of you, we didn’t want you to be scared all by yourself”.  He smiled and kept removing more clothing. “I’m Mr. Host’s cousin”.  I was staring at him, somewhat shocked but also turned on that this total stranger was obviously here to fuck me.  He had a nice body too.

I said “I’m totally being a bum, I don’t even have makeup on”.  He looked and me and commented “you don’t need makeup” as he hopped in bed next to me, in his boxers.  He pulled me up to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.  “You have nothing to be scared of, I am going to take really good care of you” he said, as he started to kiss me and let his hand slide down between my legs. 

Oh man, I’d better quit before this gets too long. I’ve got some stuff I need to do.  I’ll finish the story later. 😉

Why do I “prefer” black men?

interracial couple in bed

This is one of those posts that has the potential to upset and offend just about everyone in some way or another, so I’ve been procrastinating, lol, but there have been a couple of times I said I would write it up.  So, here you go, in question and answer format. 

Most of these are real questions that people have asked at some time or another.  Don’t expect them to be politically correct and I can’t be responsible for other people’s thought processes.  Some, I find offensive too, but I’m going to attempt to answer them anyhow. I’m a big fan of DISCUSSING things rather than shushing people up and telling them they are wrong to ask. 

I’m writing it out in this manner because I think the assumptions people make can be really crazy and so far off from the truth.  Sometimes I understand why they might think a certain way and others I am just shaking my head.  Still, its not like everyone doesn’t wonder.  Maybe YOU were too afraid to ask ;). 

Ever since high school, I’ve been getting this:
Lovergirl, why don’t you ever date white guys?

Who says I don’t?  Why would they assume this?  Mostly it’s…white guys..who ask.  I guess its true, that even back then, the majority of the guys I dated were black.  Still, I’m a never say never kind of girl, especially when it comes to things like sex.  😉

Just for fun, I sat down and figured out the actual percentages for you.  Yeah, I was feeling like a nerd. 😉  This is the breakdown of guys I “count” as having had sex with (invoking the Bill Clinton clause-it doesn’t include oral).  Here are my pussy’s demographics:

Black- 75%
White- 13.23%
Asian- 1.47%
Latino- 2.94%
Mixed race- 7.35%

In every case the “mixed” group was a mix of black and white. 

Actually, the first guy I ever had sex with was white, followed by the second guy, who was Asian and then the third, who was black.  Bam! Bam! Bam!  Got that out of the way as soon as I could, hahaha. 😉  I’m playing. I honestly didn’t even think about it at the time, though now it is kind of cool to be able to say I’ve tasted the rainbow. 🙂

Anyhow, we’ve established that its not “never”.  I’ve always been kinda bugged by people who say they would “never” date someone of a different race, but it’s even more weird when you apply that to your own!  How can you block out an entire race of people from your sexual realm of possibility, and how lame is it to discount your OWN freaking race??  WTF??

Honestly, it bothers me when I hear black men say they won’t date black women and I fully understand why some black women get pissed.  The other day at the swinger party where I was talking with two women, a white guy (the one I had just given a blow job to, actually) walked out the door and they both commented that he was cute but they couldn’t fuck him.  The one girl said “I just can’t do white guys anymore” and the other agreed.  They were both white.  I kept my mouth shut but inwardly I was rolling my eyes.

HOWEVER, that said, I clearly do have a preference.  My general preference is black men.  That is USUALLY what I am attracted to.  It’s actually a very strong preference, as you can see from my numbers above.  I sometimes don’t want to admit it, like when the Professor was looking at my swinger site emails and noticed “you don’t even open the white guys’ mail!” That wasn’t entirely true though, I just hadn’t opened MOST of their mail, lol.

Is it because you hate your dad and are trying to get back at him?

This one is kind of entertaining.  Because, well, I didn’t really know my dad until I was a teenager and in the meantime, I had three stepdads.  The first one was white, the second was from South America and the third was black. 

I hated my third stepdad, and still do, but the last way I would try to “get back” at him would be to date black men.  So, hopefully that answers the question as to whether I would date that way because I was “close” to my stepfather too.  NOPE. 

If my black stepfather had been my only exposure to black men and I was one to assume they were all like him, I’d be a racist bitch.  It didn’t happen that way though, thankfully.  Maybe because I was around enough OTHER family members, who were also black, to not make those kinds of assumptions.

I always felt like I was treated like part of the family, for the most part.  While some of his family weren’t too keen on the fact that he was married to a white woman, they didn’t take it out on ME, because I was a kid.  I was just thrown into the mix with the zillions of cousins running around and really no one seemed to think much of it.

Is it because black guys have bigger dicks?

I’ve gone over this one in my post Big Black Men, Is it True?  So if you haven’t read that, head over there.  The answer is no.  That really has nothing to do with it at all.  When white guys tell me they are “black below the belt” it doesn’t turn me on.  I’m just shaking my head.

Is it because you fucked black guys at a young age and “once you go black you never go back?”

Again, I am a never say never kind of girl, remember?  Even after sleeping with a lot of black guys, I went away to an almost totally white college and guess who I fucked there?  White guys!  In fact, that is where I met my ex husband, who was white.

I get this question more from black men than white ones, actually.  What was really entertaining was after I first met my ex husband and went back home for the summer. 

When I first came back, some girlfriends and I went over to this guy’s house.  There were probably like 15 people over there hanging out.  Maybe 5 girls and 10 guys, all of whom were black (except me).  One of the guys asked who I was dating and I told them about my ex.

He thought that was crazy and announced “Lovergirl is dating a white dude!!!” Soon, the attention was all on me, while he and a few of the other guys grilled me right and left and totally made fun of that fact. 

He was like “you aren’t really dating a white guy, you can’t date a white guy! Once you go black you NEVER go back”.  The girls had to jump in “how can you tell her she can’t date a white guy??  She’s white!  You act like she’s black or something!!”  He asked “what’s his name?” and I told him his name and he starts busting out laughing and all the guys are “that is such a white name, hahahaha”.  I said “he’s white!” lmao “what do you expect??  You want his parents to give him a black name?” hahaha

The teasing went on for awhile, with the guys telling me he was probably cheating on me and me saying “no he isn’t”.  The girls were like “he’s not cheating on her!  He’s white!!”  and the guys were saying he was probably doing so right at that very moment.  :p  Then they threatened to call my ex boyfriend, the crazy drug dealer one, and tell him the news.  They were pretending to pick up the phone and I was all “go ahead!!  Why would he care, I’m not talking to him anymore anyway”.   

The whole thing ended with the guy whose house we were at telling me I “even look more white” and pretending to sneer at me, lmao.  Then he was like “you’ll be back…wait”.  Hahaha  I guess I can’t argue about that. 😉

Hold on, wait.  You have sex with all these black guys and then the guy you chose to MARRY was white?  Is this some sort of latent racism?  Did you think he was better marriage material and a better person to make babies with because of his whiteness?

No.  It wasn’t because he was white that I married him.  I actually always wanted to have a biracial baby, because of my little brother and sister.  When they were born I was a young teenager and took care of them all the time.  I thought they were the cutest things on earth and adored my younger siblings.  I totally wanted a mixed race baby, lol. 

However, I DID think my ex husband was completely different from all the other guys I had been with and more “marriage material”.  So this question gave me a pause for just a minute.  Why did I think that?  Was it more than just the fact that he had been the one to ASK me to get married or that his parents kind of pressured us in that direction?  I never dated any black guys whose parents were pressuring them to marry a white girl, btw, lol. 

If there was ONE stereotype I think I had in my head at the time regarding black men, it was that “black men always cheat”.  I know that this is probably unfair, and of course not always true, but it is what it is.  I’d grown up with that imbedded into my brain, mainly from black women!  Not to mention I’d had quite a few experiences of being cheated ON by black guys, including 3 who impregnated someone else whilst we were dating.

I didn’t want to marry someone who would cheat on me.  So I think in some way that probably DID factor into my decision at the time.  Now that I’m older and wiser I’d say everyone cheats, or they will, if they have the option.  If they have the option and don’t think they would get caught, years after being married…I suspect MOST men AND women, would cheat, black or white.

Shortly before I actually ended up cheating on my ex husband, I was emailing back and forth with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time on MySpace.  She is biracial and has 5 kids with like 5 different dads.  She was relaying a story of one of the dads, who had asked her to marry him and got her to come to another state and even gave her a ring, before she discovered that he was ALREADY married and had given her his current wife’s ring!  Nuts. 

She said “you’re lucky, you married a white guy, you don’t have to worry about him cheating on you”.  She went on to lament that she could never date a white guy herself.  I guess I’ll never know if my ex actually cheated on me but he did eventually fall in love with someone else, so there goes that theory down the drain!

Anyhow, sometimes I kind of wish I had married a black man.  For all the negative press black men get, I’m virtually always impressed by what great fathers the guys I see are.  I mean,  they go over and above, and I am so sad for my own children that they don’t have that.

I think a lot of black men, these days, make it a HUGE priority to be a good dad.  It’s like all their lives they have seen the negative effects in the black community and all the stereotypes and go completely the opposite direction.  I wish someone had drilled this into my ex husband’s head while they were knocking him over it with the Bible.  Sigh…

You must have a sexual “fetish” for black men.

I don’t think that is the case.  It’s true that I am more physically attracted, usually, to black men.  Why that is, I can’t say for sure.  I can say that there are plenty of black men I am NOT attracted to and that the ones I am, tend to fall into a very specific “type”.  So like any other “type” that a person has, mine is black men that fall into whatever attraction template I have.  Actually, I think I have a couple.  Most of the guys I see, look or act, in some way, like a man that I have liked previously.  I guess that is part of my natural selection bias.

I also prefer black men to date, not just for sex.  I tend to feel a lot more comfortable with black men and have more in common.  Maybe that is due to not having been around as many white guys growing up.  Even when I had the South American stepfather, most of the families we associated with were not white.  I sometimes have a harder time relating to white guys, despite being white myself.

Even with my ex husband, I never really felt “close” to him, whereas a lot of times I can talk better with black men and feel more understood.  Maybe it is because I don’t really have the same cultural background as most white men.  When I went away to an all white, country, college, it was actually kind of a culture shock for me.  The music, movies, and general attitude that I grew up with veered more towards black than white.  Not that I didn’t have white friends or go to predominately white schools, because I did, but at home it was different.

So what is it that you like about black men and why do you think you choose them?

This is the hard part, because I can’t write it without admitting to having some stereotypes.  I like to think I don’t, but I guess we all do to some extent, like it or not.  Here is the deal though, I have certain traits that I like and have come to look for in men.  In my experience, it is much EASIER to find what I am looking for in a black man. 

What I think it boils down to, is that I percieve black men as being more “Alpha” in general.  Before the white guys get too upset and disagree, let me explain.  It’s not that white guys don’t sometimes have “Alpha” characteristics or that ALL black men fit the description. It just seems, in our culture and at least, here in the U.S., that with white guys it’s something like 20% of the population versus 80% of black men.

Let’s say, for example, that I am looking for a man who is dominant in bed.  I go on a sex site and find 10 black guys and 10 white guys.  Probably 8 of the black men are going to fit that description, but only 2 of the white guys.  Since the majority of the population is white (and especially where I live now), if I just focus on the black men, I can get what I want a LOT faster and not have to filter through zillions of passive white dudes.  Plus, because there are few black men in this area, I have an even smaller group to narrow it down to.

Ever feel like you are totally overwhelmed at Walmart because there are sooo many choices to pick from, for something as basic as shampoo?  It’s like I don’t even know where to start and I don’t want to try each one to figure out if it (he) is what I am looking for.  Would be much faster to run around the corner to the place that only sells a few salon brands. 

Anyow, that might be a bad analogy because I usually do just grab a Walmart shampoo, lmao, and I like to try different ones. 😉  But hopefully, I’m making SOME sense. 

What are the traits that you associate more often with black men, that you like?

Well, we have established the more dominant part.  I think that tends to be true, both in and out of the bedroom.  Now get ready for the massive generalizations, but I find them to be mostly true in my experience.

In general, black men that I meet, are more likely to have some of the following characteristics:

Dress nicely (white European guys do this but in the U.S., white guys tend to think this is “gay”)
Take good care of their physique or are “athletic”
Meticulous hygeine
Clean freaks (I love this and you rarely come across black men that are slobs)
LIKE to talk about relationships, and sex (for some reason white guys don’t seem as interested in this a lot of times)
Less judgemental
More complimentary
Less emotionally reserved and more willing to talk about feelings
More protective
More of a gentleman in how they treat women
Less critical
More supportive, emotionally
Put more emphasis on family and ties to friends

AND…what I know you really want to know…IN the bedroom

More emotionally expressive and PASSIONATE
More appreciative of my body
More dominant and commanding
More sensual and “romantic”
Care more about my pleasure in a non-supplicating way
Less selfish
More experienced

OF COURSE-

There are plenty of lame black men out there too, but I do seem to be able to find what I am looking for more often and I do love the color contrast of dark skin on lighter skin in bed.  I’ve been with a couple of white guys that were good in bed but they didn’t open up as much.  I’ve also had a disproportionate amount of one night stands with white guys.  It’s like they are quicker to hit it and quit it or think of you as “slutty” afterwards. 

My other deal with the white guys I have come across on dating sites is that they seem to go to extremes.  It’s like they are either super passive or they go crazy with it and take “dominant” to mean rough, aggressive and MEAN, which I hate.  I once put out a Craigslist ad looking for a “freak” in the bedroom.  It was like all the black guys knew exactly what I meant but the white guys were talking about totally off the wall shit, involving all kinds of props and stuff that I would never want to do.  I don’t know, maybe that’s just part of the communication barrier I was talking about earlier.

I know some of you all are probably chomping at the bit by now, but these are just my observations, experiences and feelings.  Thoughts?

Fucking on the First Date

Fucking on the First Date

This is a shot I took of the computer screen while I was watching the video the Pilot and I made on our first date. Normally I don’t post pics but I liked this one since you can’t really make out who we are. Who, not only fucks on the first date, but makes a video of it? Oh yeah…..;)

The Jamaican

bad sex

Last night, the Jamaican man I had met at a swinger party once, while I was with the Professor, came up here to see me.  He drove 2 ½ hours and got a hotel.  In case you aren’t following the story, we had been flirting a bit at the party, via eye contact, but never hooked up.  According to the Jamaican he was upset about the Professor appearing not to want to share me at the party.

I hadn’t heard from or seen him since, until he found me the other day on Plenty of Fish.  Since then we’ve been texting and he’s called several times and seemed very interested in getting together.  It cracked me up because yesterday, before he drove up this way, he called me his “lover girl”.  Has he been reading my blog?  LMAO

In any case, this guy is a Nurse Practitioner that is not a doctor “yet”.  He is 6’6” and 265 lbs, muscular, dark skinned and nice looking with a sexy Jamaican accent.  He says he moved to the U.S.  a little over a decade ago.  He was married for a long time and has only been divorced about a year. 

The reason he joined the swinger site, according to him, was because he was seeing a woman up here occasionally and they decided they weren’t going to work out as a couple but would be good friends with some benefits.  She found out about the swinger scene here from a friend at work and called him all excited about trying it out. 

Since then he’s been to a few parties and also played with a couple of married women but he says he is losing interest in the whole scene, that it isn’t something he can see himself doing with someone he is in love with.  He does play with the wife of a guy down where he lives but he says it is a bit awkward with the guy there watching.

Anyhow, one of the guys at the party we both attended had really talked up the Jamaican’s cock size, lol.  He was going on about how he was just huge and had I seen it and it was “this thick” and was trying to find pics on the swinger site on his phone to show me.  At the time the Professor hadn’t seemed too thrilled about this conversation.  I think the guy claimed he was like 10 inches too.

Now that I’ve seen it up close and personal I’d say the length was an exaggeration.  He WAS very thick but not totally unmanageable or anything (which is good, lol).  He was also probably closer to the 7.5-8 inch range than ten inches. 

I was able to get my mouth around him well enough to give an okay blow job, I think.  Still, he was uncircumcised, which I am not used to.  I’ve only been with one other guy who was not circumcised and it was a long time ago.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the foreskin.  Like, should I pull it back and suck on it that way?  Or would it feel good at all to him to actually suck around it?  So I tried a little bit of both, lol. 

Back to the beginning though, he kissed me when I first walked in and I was disappointed to find I really didn’t much like his style of kissing.  He wanted to stick his tongue in my mouth and just hold it still, or suck on my tongue and bite it and bite on my lips.  Bleah.  I’m not much into kissing unless I’m really into a guy anyway, so it was like doubly weird.  I was hoping this didn’t mean he was bad in bed.

We kissed and then spent quite a bit of time talking.  The air conditioner wasn’t working in the hotel room so he had called down to the front desk and we were waiting for them to come up and fix it.  He was actually really interesting to talk to and nice and easy to get along with.  I just love his accent and hearing about Jamaica too.  He says like 90% of the people there have no jobs and that he grew up in a family with 12 kids and they are all tall like him.  Even his sisters are over 6 feet tall and some of his brothers are taller than he is. 

So, since the people still hadn’t shown up after like an hour, we went ahead and got down to it.  More of the odd kissing and then he started sucking on my boobs and I gave him a blowjob.  After that he went down on me, which felt really good and he was doing a great job but he didn’t do it long enough for me to be able to cum. 

He said he has had a vasectomy and doesn’t play with very many people so I agreed to let him go without a condom.  Maybe some would see that as reckless but in his case I feel fairly safe.  He doesn’t strike me as the wild or dishonest type at all. 

In any case, the actual sex was over in like under 3 minutes, lol.  :p  Now I know why, when he asked about seeing the videos of me and the Professor he was shocked when I said they were over an hour each and we might not have time to watch them.  Basically, he got on top of me and pumped away until he came.  I was just starting to feel good when he stopped and came inside me. 

He apologized for cumming so quickly and asked me if I came. I didn’t want to lie so I said no.  We both cleaned up a bit and then the woman from the front desk knocked at the door.

I jumped up to get dressed and he pulled on his shorts but was telling me I should just lie there in the bed with the covers over me.  I really didn’t want to be doing that when this lady came in the room, lol.  He couldn’t understand why…

So she came in and because he had to tell her to wait a minute while we got dressed anyway I think it was pretty obvious we had just been having sex, haha.  She was trying to contain a smile while she checked the air conditioner.  It still wouldn’t work so we ended up having to move next door.

In there we talked for a long time before he got on top of me again for more sex.  He asked me what would make me cum and I really didn’t know how to respond.  I hate it when guys ask me stuff like that during the act! It’s like, what would make me cum is him already knowing what to do, without having to ask because that totally turns me off. 

So he asked me what position I would like to do and I said maybe doggystyle.  We did that for a while and he asked if I would like to ride him so I did.  I really wasn’t feeling the chemistry with him and was kinda hoping the second time wouldn’t be too long either.  It was longer though and he had me lie on my back again with my legs up and it did feel good for a bit.  I never did cum though.  Thankfully he didn’t ask this time, after he again came inside me. He was one of those guys that if I started to get excited or make noise he’d ask if I was okay.  Sigh…

So after the second time he rolled onto his back and started snoring, LOUDLY.  At first he woke up for a sec and apologized for snoring and pulled me over to lay my head on his chest and went right back to even louder snoring, haha.  I managed to escape his sleep grip after a while and got up and brushed my teeth and stuff before coming back to bed and sleeping on my own side.

I was lying there and couldn’t stop thinking about the Professor.  I miss him terribly.  Sometimes I wonder if I even want to play with anyone else at all.  I had to drive past his apartment complex in the morning on the way to get my kids and I think I may have seen him driving past on the other side of the road on his way to work.  I don’t know if he saw me.

The Jamaican wanted to spoon with me in the morning and I was lying there wanting to cry.  I didn’t really want to be lying there with someone other than the Prof.  I also never showed him the videos he had asked about, partly because it would have hurt to watch them and also because I didn’t really feel like sharing that with anyone.  It’s probably a good thing because if he saw me orgasm a million times during sex with the Prof it might have made him feel pretty bad!

When I left the Jamaican said he was going to miss me.  He had also mentioned the night before that sometime he would love to have my kids and I down to his place.  He has a big house with a swimming pool and said we could have fun there.  The girl he plays with off the swinger site has been trying to get him to have a swinger party at his house but he was saying he wasn’t sure he could handle people having sex in the pool and then watching his kids play in it a couple days later without worrying about germs. 

Anyhow, he says he will call me later.  I don’t want to hurt his feelings because he really is a nice person and I enjoyed talking with him but not really excited about the sex.  I’m not saying I could never do it again but don’t want to lead him on to think I want a relationship or anything either.  Thankfully I have the excuse that I don’t often have Monday nights free and my ex normally doesn’t take the kids overnight so most times I can be “unavailable” for getting together. :p

Big black men… is it true?

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First of all, beware that this is a racially charged topic. I think it’s important to realize that ALL people, whether we are black, white, or whatever hold some stereotypes in our minds and sometimes there is a grain of truth behind them but that DOESN’T mean we can make blanket assumptions about EVERY person that belongs to that group. You just can’t, because even if a stereotype holds somewhat true there are always exceptions to the rule. I also hope we can discuss this like mature adults without insults towards any group of people. With that said, come on, let’s drop the worries about being politically correct too. If we can’t be open and discuss varying experiences then it actually BREEDS racism because being afraid to TALK about things from different viewpoints is what keeps folks in the dark and leaves them to their wild imaginations, reinforcing negative ideas, fear, and hatred of others.

Also, realize that although I am white myself I grew up in a home where I was the only all white kid and I am used to what might sometimes seem like wildly inappropriate jokes about “white people” and “black people”, lol. So forgive me if sometimes I seem like I’m doing the very thing I am preaching against! Haha… I’m not really a racist at all and in fact it is one of my pet peeves although some of the stuff I say in this blog might come across as otherwise to people who don’t understand where I am coming from.

Okay, done with the lecture, let’s get to the real topic at hand and the question everyone everywhere has been dying to know and hear about from a female who has had the opportunity to make some assessments, lol. 😉

DO BLACK MEN REALLY HAVE BIGGER DICKS???

The other day, at the last swinger party I attended with the Professor, we were standing in a room watching some people have sex when a typical country- boy white guy walked into the room and made a typically clueless statement and assumption about the Professor and the only other black man there. He was like “you guys are lucky because you have the big dicks” and started going on about how unfair it was that black men always have huge cocks. Of course this was said without having ever SEEN either of these men naked. How would he know that either one of them was sporting a huge package? He didn’t! But he thought he did because of all the “rumors” that this is true and due to who knows how much porn he has seen where black men with large penises are fetishized.

Now besides porn, there is the added practice in the swinger community of bringing black men in to have sex with white couples in a fantasy/fetish way that honestly creeps me the fuck out because it comes across as flat out racist. They call the guys “bulls” and “studs” and even have these parties that I have heard referred to as “mandingo” parties where they bring in black men to have sex with guys wives in order to feed into cuckhold fantasies and fetishes. Now, I’m not one to judge people for their fantasies, I just find it disturbing because the focus seems to be on the skin color of the participants and because of the attitudes of some of these white couples that any random black guy with a big cock will do.

It bothers me very much when I think of these men being objectified like that. However, they obviously don’t mind or they wouldn’t be doing it! And of course they get lots of sex out of the deal and what man doesn’t like that? So it is easy to see why the practice continues and not too many people are complaining. I mean, this is an activity where consenting adults are agreeing to do something so that is really their business. I once recently even saw a swinger party advertised as a “BBC Party” in a nearby city, and it was taking place in a predominately black area. Having a big, black, cock is definitely sort of a “novelty” thing for some.

I have had the opportunity to talk to a few guys who have been involved in this sort of exchange and it is interesting to say the least. Sometimes they seem to get off on the idea too, of course, though some guys, like the Professor, seem to find it odd as well and feel a little uncomfortable with it but go right ahead and fuck the women anyway. He has said he’s not really into the gangbang thing however.

I’ve known a few different black men that have told me white couples have actually PAID them to fuck the wife. One guy told me a man paid him to have sex with his fiancé while he watched and another guy mentioned having sex with a woman that he wasn’t very attracted to simply because her husband gave him $500 dollars. He said it wasn’t that bad and she wasn’t bad in bed even though she was kinda fat and ugly. Nice. I can see how this would be appealing to a lot of black men, especially those who aren’t doing well financially. I guess it’s sort of like women who have a sugar daddy, sometimes. These couples are taking them out on their boats and on vacations and giving them all kinds of privileges just to have sex with the wife. Again, they are doing this of their own choosing but it still seems exploitative.

So anyway, back to the question at hand. Do black guys REALLY have bigger cocks to begin with?? Or is this a myth? The Professor asked my opinion, kind of indirectly, after the conversation the other day at the swinger party. He was like “you’ve seen a lot”, which is true, though he doesn’t know my actual numbers. I gave him kind of a pat answer about it “not necessarily” being the case, though maybe on average they are a little bigger, which is true, but I didn’t want to delve into too much detail because I’m pretty sure he didn’t want to hear about other guys dicks that I have had sex with. I also thought it a conversation better not gone into over text because things can be misunderstood and misconstrued and he has shown some uneasiness at my past exploits before. SO, I focused more on being appreciative of his (rather well) endowment and you guys get to hear my thoughts on the matter instead! For now, lol, lucky you!! Maybe I will tell him more later if we are still talking.

I have personally slept with a lot more black men than white, so it’s not really a fair sample but I’ve done both. I’ve also ONCE had sex with an Asian guy, who was averagely endowed, maybe 6 inches, and a couple of Hispanic dudes who were both punching in at around 6.5-7. That’s all I’m gonna say about that because that’s really all I’ve seen, lol. I have also seen quite a few black and white penises that I haven’t ACTUALLY slept with, like guys I have given blow jobs to or a hand job at some point. Oh, and there was a guy that was a mix of Jamaican, Hawaiian, Japanese and white that I have messed with but we never had actual sex. Lucky him, he had it from all sides, lol, and I’d estimate him to be about 7.

Keep in mind though that I kind of suck at estimating things!! I may be hugely over or under estimating EVERYONE, who knows?? Once a girl and I who had slept with several of the SAME GUYS got into a discussion about dick size and one guy I thought was HUGE she thought was small. WTF? I was thinking he had like a 9 inch cock and she was like “are you kidding me?” I also thought he was GREAT in bed and he was my absolute favorite at the time, but she thought he sucked. Just goes to show how much sexual chemistry between two people matters and makes all the difference. If a woman thinks you are great in bed she probably also thinks you have THE BEST COCK EVER at the time! I know that is how I am anyway. Sometimes we even overestimate how big you are, like when we like you our emotions so color our view that it makes your cock grow in our head, lol. I also don’t consider myself a “size queen” because I am more interested in how he uses it than what he is sporting. It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean and all that. Still, my two current favorites in the sack both claim to be about 8 inches, and the Professor has commented that I “really like it deep”, so maybe I do like them kind of big. Hmmmm….

On that note, I will mention that I personally think there is such a thing as TOO BIG. The biggest guy I ever had sex with was 11 ¼ inches. HUGE, and I know his exact size only because OTHER guys were telling me that. They were all so jealous but they really needn’t be. He couldn’t even get it in all the way and it was awkward for him to maneuver and hurting me and the sex wasn’t all that good at all. I’d consider a cock that big something of a handicap, to be honest. He was biracial by the way, so no telling if he got that giant dick from the white side or the black, though I’m sure most in our society would assume the latter. I also slept with a guy once that had probably the shortest cock I have ever seen, maybe 4 inches, but it was so freaking wide I could barely get on it. It was like the width of a coke can, for real, and it made me tear and bleed and was so unpleasant that I never slept with him again. He was black.

Personal experience though, from a woman who has had sex with over 40 black men and at least 10 white guys and seen quite a few more, would say that on average the white guys ranged from maybe 5.5-8 inches and the black men were more like 6.5-9. So yes, slightly bigger. Still not a HUGE difference and really it correlates with the studies you will see on the subject.

When I was younger I had only heard the black men are bigger theory from black guys and I thought they were full of shit and just basically tooting their own horns. I didn’t believe there was any actual basis in fact. Even now, I have seen a couple of pretty big white guys so it does happen. I have also seen plenty of black guys that were in the 6-7 range and I’d even go so far as to say that is “most”. What kills me is that often black men who are a very nice sized will sometimes say they are “average” because there is this expectation that they are supposed to be HUGE. I also once had an encounter with a black guy that I couldn’t tell you whether or not was actual sex. It was dark and I was drunk and he put what felt like a finger inside of me and later claimed we had had sex to others. If we did then he had the smallest dick I’ve ever experienced and if that is the case I can only imagine how that might make him feel with all these high expectations.

Nowadays I hear a lot of white guys making the claim that “all black guys are huge”. I guess this is said out of jealousy to some extent but it’s also an unfair assumption to make. A lot of black men are just “normal” or maybe slightly bigger than average and there are even some out there that are on the small side. Not all white guys are average sized either, there are a few that are pretty darn big! That said I have been with a fair amount of black men that are in the 8-9 inch range. Maybe 15? I seem to be coming across it more lately and that probably has some to do with the fact that I have met guys off the swinger site (which attracts bigger black guys) and places like Craigslist where they are advertising that fact (like the married man I sleep with). Still my current fwb is pretty darn big too and I met him on OKCupid. It might appear that I am choosing guys based on their dick size, lol, or even on their skin color, but that’s honestly not it. I am attracted to certain traits like confidence and dominance and I think men with larger sized cocks seem to come by those more easily sometimes. It’s probably due to their self –perception, because men tie up their own worth into their cocks more so than I think women do. Also, my penchant for black men is really probably more a product of having grown up around more people of color than white folks and just feeling safer and more comfortable talking to them. It’s not a “fetish”.

Anyway, in conclusion, you can’t judge a cock by it’s cover. Don’t assume until you’ve seen him take off those pants that you know what he’s packing. I’ve also heard the myth that short guys have shorter dicks and that I can assure you is NOT the case. Most of the guys I have been with recently that are sporting 8-9 inches below the belt aren’t much taller than me (5’6”). There are all kinds of body shapes and cock sizes and I rarely meet a cock I don’t like ;). If I like the GUY I’m probably gonna fall in love with his cock too.

So don’t be so quick to stereotype. Yes there are probably more black men with bigger sized dicks than there are white guys overall, but that doesn’t speak to ALL. Yes, at the first swinger party where we had a six-some with two white couples the Professor was clearly bigger than both of the other guys but that again was an isolated case. I’m no mathematician but it’s probably SOMEWHAT more likely to be that way but, like everything else in life not a guarantee. The only thing I can guarantee you about black men is that they are all stubborn and bullheaded as hell if you get into an argument and you will never win. I’m kidding… 😉 Kind of…. (try and prove me wrong!! LMAO!!)

Getting my sexy back for 2013!

I love these workouts by Tiffany Rothe (no she is not paying me for advertising I just found them like a week ago, lol). Fun, easy, and works out just the places I need. 🙂 I like the sexy aspect too because mostly I care about my figure being hot for sexual purposes, lol and she focuses specifically on targeting a more FEMININE figure, which a lot of workouts don’t. Plus, they are FREE and on Youtube. Awesome!! 🙂

Just thought I would share because I am really enjoying them. I’ve been doing them for less than a week (in addition to my regular 30 minutes on the machines at the gym that I do about 5x a week) and already lost about 3 lbs. I’m actually a bit sore after doing these too, which shows they are working to tone the right places. Yay!

I’m also monitoring my calorie intake on My Fitness Pal which is a great site too and has an app for my smart phone that is very useful. It does most of the work for you and remembers things you eat a lot and all that. So if anyone is looking to lose weight I would totally check it out!

I lost about 15 lbs a year ago and then had lots of stress in my life and gained it back, plus about 5 more lbs. 😦 Even with working out daily. I had stopped keeping track on My Fitness Pal and was partaking in bad habits like eating late at night and not being careful what I was putting in my body after a long stressful day. So even though I was working out all the time I was freaking GAINING weight. UGH!

Now, I am still not “fat” by any means and sometimes people look at me and think “you don’t need to lose weight” but I am not where I should be. I have a petite bone structure and any extra weight on my body likes to go straight to my stomach since I’ve had babies. It might look cute if I were a couple months pregnant or something but I’m not! I feel frumpy when I look like that too, plus my clothes are fitting too tight. I still have slender arms and legs but I like a slender waist too! A lot of these workouts focus specifically on that area.

Best of all these are enjoyable, the moves make you feel sexy and they are very short segments. The Bikini Abs workout is only 7 minutes (you are supposed to do it 3 times). This makes it much easier on me as a mom because I usually have to stop exercising frequently due to my children needing something or other. USUALLY they can wait 7-10 minutes for something if they have to. 😉 I’ve done dance cardio workouts in the past and enjoyed them but didn’t find they were as effective in a short period of time for TONING, which is my focus here since I get cardio at the gym.

I loved the booty shaking workout too and I think I’m gonna try her Boxer Babe one today. It looks intense. 😉 🙂

Hope my posting this can help someone else out too! Have a great day!! 🙂