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I should have known….and somewhere deep inside, I did!

intuition

He’s married! The CEO is married! Why am I not really surprised? He hasn’t admitted it to me yet but I found proof. I discovered a picture of him online, with his wife and her family, wedding ring clearly visible on his finger. It was taken just before I met him and posted on a relative’s Facebook page.

We are not friends on Facebook and his page is private, as is his wife’s, but I’m a good detective and I did a little digging. I’m not able to see who is on his friends list, but I could see that he and I have at least one friend of a friend in common, which was amusing. She had commented on a public photo of his. He’s friends with an old fuck buddy of mine’s WIFE.

Sometimes it pays to snoop! Just saying! I just KNEW he was too good to be true and my gut feeling proved me right, once again. Sigh…

I felt a little upset at first, but I’m over it. At least now I know and can protect myself from getting too hopeful that this is going to go anywhere. At best it will be a passionate affair.

We’ve slept together 4 times now and this last time I knew but didn’t say a word. It will be interesting to see if he ever slips up or tells me about it. I plan to sit back and give him some time.

All along, I’ve felt mildly suspicious but Tinder tipped me off because I could see when he was lying to me about where he was. Sometimes, when he says he is traveling, he is telling the truth, but others it shows him as being 11 miles away, at his HOUSE.

So there’s that, and the fact that he usually plans time with me around when he’s either just arrived home on the plane, or is just getting ready to leave. He always gets a very nice hotel, which is wonderful, but of course points to the fact that he avoids having me in his home! His excuse that his sister was watching his child there may have held up at first, but why would she be there when he’s just getting ready to fly off to another city? Shouldn’t she be with her mom by then? Yeah….

The sex is still through the roof amazing and I’m definitely not ready to give THAT up! I’m really finding myself liking him on a personal level too, which gives me mixed feelings about it all. If nothing else though, I know not to really trust him. You heard me say it! Now don’t let me forget….

I don’t know his reasons, I don’t know if his wife already knows. I mean, come on, she HAS to suspect that her high sex drive, super good in bed, hot, millionaire, traveling businessman husband is not faithful to her! I’ve seen pictures of her now too and she looks kind of mousy and quiet, like someone that would put up with whatever. I have to admit though, that if this guy were paying my bills, I probably would too…

He’s got no shame in putting his face out on public dating sites and he seems to avoid being seen in public with her much. Even one of the captions on a photo I saw of them together he just put “making appearances” and they weren’t touching. The one where I saw his ring they were, but she was kind of in the background of it all. It’s interesting to note body language.

On OKCupid, one of the questions he answered said he’d never been in love. I wonder if that’s true? How can you be almost 40 years old and never fallen in love before? Not even with your wife? It doesn’t make sense to me but I’m curious to learn more. I guess time will tell.

I understand the multitude of reasons why a man would lie about being married or even lie about being in an open relationship, if that’s what it were. Still, its dishonest and it makes me miss the Cohort even more. He’s really the only guy I’ve researched and found nothing but complete honesty to me. Even when it hurt, he told me the truth. I think that’s a big reason why I loved and still love him.

The Cohort contacted me a couple of weeks ago, via email and asked me to call him. He acted like it was important and I guess he went the email route because he had deleted my number to avoid temptation to get in touch. I called though, and he wanted to talk about bubble wrap. He wanted to ask me where he could get bubble wrap…seriously! I know for a fact he already orders it online for his business but he said he wanted to know where I got some that I gave him last year (it was from packaging on my kids toys that came in the mail).  It was obviously an excuse to talk to me.

He told me a little bit about what is going on in his life with car problems but things going well at work. He asked how I was doing and sounded a bit wistful. It ended there and we hung up. I didn’t hear from him on Christmas. My heart still hurts but I know I can survive without him and I feel like I made the right choice to walk away. I know right now, if he were to ask me to be with him for real, I would, but he hasn’t done that. I can’t hang around someone I care that much about and allow it to continue to cause me pain.

In other news, I went out with a new guy that I will not allow myself to see again. We had a fun date that ended up with him almost raping me in the back of his car. I was genuinely scared and that doesn’t happen often.

He is an executive chef at one of the big casinos here in the city. He said he used to work in New York and Washington and he only moved here 6 months ago. We met on OkCupid and over text he seemed a bit pushy at first. On the phone though, he was funny and I agreed to meet him at a very nice seafood restaurant for drinks and appetizers.

He showed up 20 minutes late and I was beginning to wonder if I should leave. I was sitting at the bar and didn’t order anything. He finally arrived, without any excuse. Now, I kind of suspect he did this on purpose, because after one drink they were about to close. We didn’t have time to order anything to eat.

He asked where the closest bar we could hang out at late was and they told him a place around the corner. When we got there he made a weird statement about how he goes there all the time. That threw me off a bit (didn’t he just have to ASK the bartenders where to go?). He also claimed to go to the seafood restaurant “all the time”. Anyway, we had more drinks and an appetizer at this jazz bar.

He was funny and fun to talk to, but super nosy. He was asking questions about who I was fucking and what was the guy’s name. He pressed and pressed until I finally gave him the first name of someone I am sleeping with (Radioman, who was the only safe option to say anything about and I see him regularly).

He immediately showed some signs of jealousy and was telling me about how he is going to make me forget about Radioman. Oh, and he also friend requested me on Facebook while we were out. He had figured out my last name somehow. I was a bit creeped out by this, but then you all know I do my own “research” so I was trying to be fair and not assume he is a stalker.  I accepted his request and laughed about his discovery.

I was slightly tipsy, but not drunk, when we decided to go home. I declined an offer to go back to his place but agreed to get in his car with him and “talk” for a minute because it was very cold outside. We got in the backseat and he proceeded to practically start ripping off my clothes.  I was a bit taken aback by how quickly he went there.

I told him to stop, told him no, told him I don’t want to do this and he just kept going. I was actually afraid and that doesn’t happen often. I had to be very verbally forceful to get him to finally stop. For a bit I there I didn’t think he was going to. He was putting his hands in my panties and saying he knew I wanted it, because of how wet I felt. But I didn’t want it. I didn’t feel good about him, despite the fun banter in the bar.

I finally was able to divert him from trying to fuck me by giving him a hand job. He came quickly and I was able to leave. Whew!

He called on the way home and apologized over voice mail. He said he was sorry and that he just was so turned on that he got carried away. He said he didn’t mean to be so aggressive and that he just lost control. Would I please give him another chance?

All that is well and good and I said okay but I really don’t want to see him again. He asked if I would and I said “maybe after the holidays”. After briefly contemplating giving him a second chance, I have decided there is no way! He is still on my Facebook, but I will probably delete him eventually. For now I plan to just blow him off.

I LIKE guys that are dominant, I LIKE guys that go after what they want and don’t ask. I DON’T like it when someone ignores my boundaries and plows on. If I am repeatedly telling someone STOP and they won’t, that is too much. Yes, I still gave him a handjob. I didn’t know what else to do to get him to back off because my words were not working. Obviously, he was stronger than me.

Even after all the experiences I have had, I still found myself in this situation. Sometimes I ignore my gut feelings about guys and I’m still learning to trust my intuition. Gut says he’s married, he probably is! It says to be careful, then WATCH OUT!

Now if only I could get my intuition to make sense when it comes to the Cohort. It’s still in confusion. I still feel like he loves me, even though his actions aren’t really proving that at all. It’s been 6 months and it really only feels like days since I’ve seen him. Maybe I will never see him again, but I just haven’t completely come to terms with that.

An anal adventure…..

borisk

So many interesting stories to tell, but time to write in my blog has been eluding me. Life has kept me extremely busy lately. Some of it has been working my new job, which I really am enjoying, but I have also been having some play time! Just wait till you hear about my most recent sexscapade!! 🙂

FINALLY, after months of failure to sign in, Tinder started working again on my phone! Yay!! Of course, one of the first people to pop up on my screen was the Cohort. 😦 Reading his profile was excruciatingly painful but I managed to make myself swipe no and move on. We haven’t spoken in over six weeks or seen each other in months and I’m still struggling to get past it and him. Not that its kept me from dating or having sex, but my heart hasn’t been in it.

So of course, right away I went and responded to the poor guy that I left hanging after a wonderful date because the app stopped working! He was happy to hear I hadn’t gotten married and disappeared while he was off on business trips and quickly invited me out again. I still liked him, even though he talked A LOT and only hugged me at the end of the first three dates.

I actually complained to Mr. Firm that I was getting impatient, like, why isn’t this guy trying to fuck me yet?? Lol I was like he’s hot, he’s wealthy, he’s a former college football player, I know he can’t be that shy about making a move! He even made comments about how Tinder was a hook up site, yet, he didn’t seem to be trying to hook up!

I was getting a little frustrated, though it wasn’t like I wasn’t having sex. I’ve been with the Boring guy and Radioman a fair amount of times lately. Radioman has been pretty good in bed too… Sometimes he surprises me with a little kinkiness and he’s done stuff like spank me over his knee (blushing). I saw Chicago once more, and it still just didn’t do it for me. More recently, I got to see Mr. Firm, which was super hot as usual!! I hadn’t seen him in ages and he definitely still wows me in the bedroom! Then there was this new guy that is barely worth a mention, except for he took me to some really expensive restaurants. We did finally have sex but it kind of sucked and I hated the way he kissed. Oh, and the Pilot, he met me one day at work and we snuck away for a quickie (terrible I know) in an empty parking lot. It was fun but that was after I finally slept with this new guy.

I will call him The CEO. He is a big deal boss at his job and flies all over the place. A comment he made after we had sex, makes me pretty sure he is a millionaire. Not really surprising given where he lives and the company that he works for. I did a quick bit of research after that and some of his co-workers are making 7-8 million a year. He’s actually pretty down to earth though and not really flashy about it.

He’s almost too good to be true, good looking with pretty hazel eyes, built like a brick house, quite the gentleman, remembers to text, plans ahead and calls me beautiful…which makes me wonder if he’s hiding a wife somewhere. I guess you can never be sure, but he claims he’s not. We did have our first encounter at a hotel because he said his sister was babysitting his child at his place.

Suspect? Lol Maybe, though who knows, he could be for real. He says women always think that he is married or sleeping around because he travels a lot, but that he is not and doesn’t have all the time to be sleeping around that they think because he is working so much.

That is what he says, though after sex with him, I’m going to say I understand why they think that!! That, and who are all these women that are saying this stuff if he’s not getting around?? LMAO Not that I really care… 😉 He’s away on business trips all the time, out of sight, out of mind. 🙂

So, our first night together, he invited me back to a hotel room he had rented for the sole purpose of our “date”. It was a very nice hotel, almost more like a condo. It had a living room with couches and a fireplace, a full kitchen, plus a separate bedroom. He poured us glasses of a delicious wine and we talked and hung out for a good long time before he made any moves whatsoever. I was still wondering if it might not happen.

Finally, he asked if I wanted a massage. Wow, a man who actually gives massages! So many promise or allude to it and never do! He was very good with his hands too, massaging my shoulders and back. Then he wanted me to straddle his lap for a kiss. I was starting to worry that he was going to want to be dominated, lol. He had made this comment on a previous date, asking about when I was going to make a move on him and that had kind of put me off. Like ugh, ME make a move on HIM? No thanks…

Anyhow, I obliged and did as he asked. His kisses were nice and he soon suggested a move to the bedroom.

In there, he turned into a BEAST. I kid you not, I was completely floored by the change in demeanor once the clothes came off! They came off quickly too, lol. He was complaining that I had too many on at first (it was a little chilly and I was wearing leggings under a skirt). He practically ripped my leggings and panties off before grabbing my legs and yanking me across the bed so he could attack my pussy with his tongue. He was gooood at that too!!

He licked and fingered me into ecstasy before telling me to take off the rest of my clothes and stripping off his own. I was all to happy to do as he asked and the minute he got on top of me the worries of him wanting a dominatrix were gone, lol. He was definitely the one in control and he was very good at what he was doing too!!

He had me in all kinds of positions and every one of them felt amazing! He was very dominant but very sweet and affectionate too, jusssst the way I like it! I couldn’t get enough of him! We kept going for hours and I gave him some really long blowjobs in there too, but he never did cum. Ah well, maybe next time… I could tell he was really enjoying himself and he was rock hard, but it didn’t happen.

The most surprising part though, was when he had me lying on my stomach on the bed, near the end. He had gone close to my asshole a few times, like he was thinking about anal and I’d kind of tensed up and let him know nonverbally that I didn’t really want to. He laughed it off and just went back to regular fucking.

This time though, after hours of great sex, I guess my reserve was worn down a little bit. It was so good I probably would have done anything he wanted at that point anyway. He got near there and I again flinched. He was holding my wrists and had me pinned on my stomach on the edge of the bed. This time he didn’t move away but started putting a lot of pressure on my ass with his dick, not actually going in. I tensed up, but didn’t say anything and he started kissing my neck and whispering in my ear until I relaxed. The very moment my body let go of control, he pushed his dick up my ass. I let out a gasp but I didn’t try to stop him.

There was no lube used or anything like that, but surprisingly it didn’t hurt. Granted everything was super wet down there already. He kept still like that for awhile and me pinned under him where I couldn’t wriggle away, letting me get used to the feel before he started to move. He was gentle at first, kissing my neck and he asked if I was okay a couple of times due to the whimpering but he didn’t stop and was fucking me progressively harder as time went on.

Like I said, he never came but he eventually let me up and was very affectionate afterwards. It was like 5 o’clock in the morning before I finally got up to go home and we never slept.

Its hard to describe how it made me feel. In a way it almost felt like he took my virginity. Only, I’ve had some anal experiences before but they didn’t last more than a few seconds and each of those was painful. This was different. I wouldn’t say I’d go out of my way to do it again, but I’m not entirely opposed to it either. I was a little sore the next day. My arms had bruises on them from where he was gripping me too.

The sex, and I’m not sure how much the anal affected it, overall, made me feel completely different about him than I did prior to sleeping together. During, and right after, I felt super submissive towards him. I was flooded with all those “in love” type chemicals and it even made me feel for awhile like I was over the Cohort. For days afterwards I was in a bit of a haze. I think I am finally past that part, but he is on a business trip and we have plans to meet up again soon. I’m going to have to be careful with this one!

Life goes on…

radio-mic-1-2

Wow, it seems like a lot has happened since the last time I updated my blog! Where to even start? I guess you’d probably like to hear about the new man I am sleeping with, and maybe some updates on the Cohort ;). By the way, he and Mr. Firm met each other recently, at a party, lol. I wasn’t there though. I’ll elaborate on that too, in a minute.

I recently discovered Tinder, which was awesome, for like the week and a half it actually worked on my phone!! A girlfriend told me about it and how she had like 7 dates in a week, so I thought it would be fun to try. It was!! Until it stopped working and all the uninstalling and reinstalling was to no avail. 😦

I even lost a great potential man, because we had gone on a date but never exchanged actual phone numbers. I was getting notifications that he was emailing me but couldnt access the app or respond. Grrrr….. So, screw Tinder, but I can’t be too mad because I did meet one man I actually like. 🙂

I will call him Radioman. He works in advertising for one of my favorite radio stations. He also coaches the same sport that the Professor did. By the way, for those of you who remember the Professor, he’s been kind of stalking my swinger profile lately. Interesting, though I’m pretty sure I would never fuck him again at this point. Like I keep saying, men always come back. Heck, the Producer texted me recently too, and mentioned that he is getting married- and its not to the woman he was so in love with either!! He said she is with a white guy now. Told you so! 😉

Back to Radioman. So far, he seems pretty cool. I enjoy spending time with him and he is good in bed. I’ve never told him about swinging though and we did the traditional 3 dates before sex. I’m just not sure when to bring something like that up, you know? Its awkward when you meet someone in another context.

He actually asked me if I want an exclusive relationship. I told him its too early for me to decide. I do like him a lot so far, but I’m not sure yet if I want THAT. Its frustrating…it seems like men either want to go all in the minute you meet them or they are running as fast and far away as they can get from any sort of commitment. I just want to get to know someone first and see if its workable or not.

There is a big part of me that would love to just have that one guy in my life, stability, safety and seriousness. Yet, I’m just not sure if I’d start feeling claustrophobic. An open relationship, where I am Numero Uno, sounds ideal in many ways, but I am starting to lose hope that I will ever be able to find that. I would have loved something like that with the Cohort, but I can’t handle NOT having the assurance of being number one and like most men who want something “open” he didn’t want to give me that.

Back to Radioman- I like him but there are a few red flags when it comes to a long term thing. Mainly, he has 3 children with 3 different mothers. He’s actually a grandpa too, even though he is my age, because one of his teenage daughters has a toddler. It also means that despite having a great paying job (plus a side job coaching), he’s not doing that well financially- due to all the child support he has to shell out. :p I mean he has a decent home and car and all that, just says he has some struggles.

Other things though, are great! He’s made me dinner a couple of times and is a great cook. He’s been easygoing and fun to hang out with. He’s not bothered at all by the number of children I have. Plus, he gets free tickets to fun events and has been giving some to me. 🙂 Did I mention he’s pretty good in bed? He hasnt slacked on going down on me either. 😉 Mmmm…

I so wish Tinder would have worked longer, because I was getting hit up by a ton of nice looking guys. The other guy I met in person seemed fantastic too! He travels a lot for his job at a medical research company and used to play football for a major college on the east coast. He still looked like it too and had pretty hazel eyes. I was totally interested but since I couldn’t reply to his email, it seems all is lost.

I’ve also got a new job myself, that is getting me out there and around a lot of people. I’m getting hit on all the time. Like every time I work (and its a part time thing) I have at least a couple of men asking for my number or something. Its been fun, though I haven’t followed through with any of those men yet. It’s always fun to be swarmed with attention and have options though! 🙂

It’s all helping me keep my mind off the Cohort, though he has been calling again too. Let me explain what finally happened with him.

After my last post about him, I did hear from him again. He tried to call and I didnt answer. I texted him that it hurt me too much to talk as a friend, after all that had happened. He said it was an emergency though and I picked up the phone. He wanted to tell me about how someone had stolen money from his Paypal account and we ended up talking.

A couple of days later he called again wanting my help with work stuff and I reiterated that this was too painful. After that we didn’t talk for a couple of weeks.

Then he hit me up again saying that he misses me and that he thought it would just go away but it hasn’t. I admit this tore at my heart but I’m trying to stay strong. I know I could not, at this point, accept what he is wanting to give me, which is basically crumbs. I care too much about him to be anything less than #1.

It was then that he told me about meeting Mr. Firm. He said they met at a swinger party and he wanted to know why I couldn’t just have the same type of relationship with him that I do with Mr. Firm. I was kind of baffled that he didn’t seem to understand this, but tried to explain that my feelings for him are different and that Mr. Firm already had a serious relationship with someone else. The Cohort said I was “punishing” him because he is single.

What?? I said it doesn’t feel good to hear that my love and affection are a punishment. Men. I’m really trying to wrap my head around how they see things. Not to mention I hardly ever see Mr. Firm anymore. I said is that really what you want, to see me once or twice a year? He said no, he didnt realize it was that infrequent.

He also claimed that the couple who was throwing the party told him that they think I am “playing” him and pretending to want a relationship when I really don’t. He said he had to set them straight and tell them it was him who didn’t want a relationship. He said they saw me with other men at parties (in the past, like the Prof) who didnt want to share me with anyone and thought I was leading him on.

I was like, well, there goes my image as a “player”! Seriously though, I’m still trying to digest this one. Mr. Firm said everyone was busy having sex and drinking so he doesn’t know how a conversation like that would have even come up, but the Cohort tends to be pretty honest. My head is spinning.

On the plus side, the Cohort and Mr. Firm seemed to like each other. They both said positive things about one another, though they didn’t actually discuss knowing me when they met. If only it had happened earlier, now all my fantasies of a threesome with two of my favorite men in bed, are pretty much shot! 😉 Lol Ah well….

OH, and I had another dream about the Cohort’s mother, before he told me about this party. It was weird because she has been dead for quite some time and I have never met her, but it is the second dream I have had (the first one was after the first miscarriage). In this one, the Cohort was with another woman, one who was very unattractive and I was upset. His mother walked with me over to the two of them and he broke away from the woman to come and hug and kiss me. His mom said to me “I am so happy that you forgave him, I know he loves you”. Then she later told me that she was totally okay with how many kids I have and that I am the one for her son. Wishful thinking? Sigh… If only it were a message from the other side. My heart still feels that for him and this is so hard for me.

In any case, he has still tried a few more times to talk to me. Most recently, yesterday, he texted to ask if I will go to a swinger party with him! I was sort of shocked that he would think this would be okay. Does he really not understand that I need to have the assurance that I am SAFE with him before doing this again? That I can’t be disconnected from him and then go to a party where we are fucking other people in front of each other? I tried to explain.

He says he misses me, and not just for the sex. I’m glad to hear that because I miss him too, but its not enough. Its not enough for me to subject myself to the way I felt when he took that woman to a party. I seriously could have hurt someone. I was so angry and upset!! The thoughts going through my mind were horrible and it was all I could do not to follow through on them. He’s lucky his car and windows weren’t destroyed and no one was hurt. Seriously, I FELT like acting like a psycho!

I just CAN’T put myself in that position. No. Like I told him recently, he didn’t do anything wrong and that’s the problem. I need it to be wrong. I cant handle it being “okay” for him to do things that hurt me. I’m not going to stick around for that.

He says he understands and doesn’t want to hurt me. Yet he keeps offering me half assed things like friendship and swinger parties. I love him too much to settle for that. It’s all or nothing now.

In the meantime, I’m doing everything I can to keep my mind of him. I won’t say it’s totally working, but I havent broken down and cried and that is a good thing, I think. At least for now keeping busy is seeming to help.

The married man, I havent seen him again but he told me that he is leaving his wife and wants to be with me and only me. WTF? The next day he texted to ask if I would have a threesome with him and some “good friend” (female) of his. Eyeroll…

I’ve spent some more time with the Boring guy and he’s obviously making an attempt to be more interesting, which is nice. He took me to a concert as a double date with one of his friends (my suggestion, but he paid, which was awesome) and has found a new restaurant near his place that we have gone to a couple of times.

I’m still a little put off by his self absorbtion though. :p For example, he watches himself in the mirror while we have sex. Not me, or us, HIMSELF. Ugh.

Oh well, its better than sitting around pining for the Cohort, for sure. He’s making it extra hard by keeping contacting me, but I’m determined not to accept anything less than his best. As of yet, I am not getting that and I’d rather spend my time with men I am not in love with that be continually hurting over one I do.

Took a trip, and am I tripping?

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I haven’t even had a chance to tell you all about another man in my life! We will call him Chicago. He lives here in my city half the time, but travels back and forth to his home in Chicago every couple of weeks. He works from home doing some kind of computer engineering, but prefers living there, to here (where his child is) so he has condos in both places.

Actually, he recently flew ME to Chicago to stay with him for a weekend! He wined and dined me and took me to my first comedy show- to see Cedric the Entertainer. It was an exciting weekend for me, with getting to travel and experience new things. His condo has a beautiful view of Lake Michigan and he took me to a delicious steak house, where he dropped well over $200 for dinner.

Here’s the view of Lake Michigan from his condo:
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And my lovely bubbling drink at the steak house:

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I’d had some car troubles, thanks to my teenager (long story), so Chicago covered rental vehicles for me to take my kids to their dads, and also paid for my gas. His brother drove me to the airport. Obviously, this guy is doing alright financially. 😉

Actually, he’s been probably more of a Sugar Daddy than any of the others, buying and giving me things here and there. He gave me a brand new printer for my computer and bought me a shawl so I wouldn’t need to borrow his jacket when we go out. He’s taken me out for lots of dinners at nice restaurants and to the movies several times.

Sounds fabulous right? Well, not quite. I’m really, just not feeling this guy. I just can’t bring myself to LIKE him that much. I’m trying, really I am, but it’s just not there.

He’s obviously doting on me, and being a nice person. He claims to like me a lot. Yet, some things just really bug me. I’ve finally figured out that he reminds me of my ex husband.

He reminds me of him in SEVERAL ways. One, is how he acts in the bedroom. We just can’t seem to have good sex. There is like, NO chemistry. He’s doing some of the same things that other guys do, at least trying to be good, but it’s just not working for me! It’s so weird.

One of the things that bothers me, is that he just doesn’t seem to be able to, or maybe he’s just not interested in, reading my body language. If I don’t like something, and try to make it clear, he just keeps trying to do the same damn thing!

Like he has an obsession with trying to lick my nipples. Sometimes I like that, but not the way he does it. He will lunge toward my nipples with his tongue flicking out and I am like cringing. I’ll kind of push him away and he comes back again in full force. So I actually covered my nipples with my hands and he tried to pull them off! I wouldn’t let him so he’s laughing about it, what you don’t like that? I said they feel sensitive and now he harrasses me about it, major turnoff. He is constantly trying to do what I have made clear I wasn’t feeling.

What’s crazy is that my ex husband would try to do that very same thing and act the very same way about it- annoyed with ME for not enjoying something. Get over it already and quit trying to do something I’m obviously not liking! Sheesh!

That’s just one example. The rest of the sex just isn’t working well either. I just don’t like it.

I’m sure some of it, is that he’s just NOT the Cohort. I’m emotionally attached and it makes it hard for me to be with someone new. I only started seeing this guy after the last miscarriage, when I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with he and I.

Still, it’s not just the bedroom where he’s acting insensitive. He doesn’t seem to pay any attention to the things I SAY to him. It’s like he cuts me off or changes the subject or just says “uh-huh” like I’m not saying anything interesting. It’s very upsetting to me to not feel heard when I am talking. That too, is very much like my ex, who brushed off anything I wanted to talk about (outside of the Bible or politics) as unimportant.

He also has a tendency to over-explain things to me, like he thinks I am an idiot or something. It makes me feel like a child. He took me to a park the other day (and to eat afterwards) and insisted on looking up the history of the park on his phone and reading to me about how it was donated by some woman whose husband owned a biscuit factory, like he was giving me a lesson. TOTALLY like my ex husband, who was always lecturing about something.

He actually wanted to talk about scripture on our last date. Uggggghhh… he said because it was something “different” than what most people talk about and he thought it would be a nice change of pace. I spent 15 years talking about the Bible. I didn’t want to be rude but I really didn’t feel like elaborating on my thoughts about various passages of scripture. It felt torturous.

He wants to hold hands, and be “romantic” all the time but it makes my skin crawl. I feel guilty, but I can’t help it! It’s frustrating.

Anyway, when we got back to his place, I decided to play a little game, just to test and see if he actually does listen to anything I say. I asked him some questions about myself to see if he knew the answers to any of them, all things I had told him before. I was like what color are my eyes? He said “blue” (we were in candlelight and my eyes are green). I asked how many siblings do I have, where did I go to high school, what did I major in in college? He got them ALL wrong. Then I let him ask me stuff and I got every single answer RIGHT. Because I actually freaking LISTEN when someone is talking to me!

It bothers me so much, that I don’t know if I can stand it much longer, even with all the perks. His birthday is coming up soon and he has decided he wants me to make him a picnic with wine and grapes and strawberries that we feed each other on a blanket outside, and then I give him backrubs. It sounds kind of like Hell on earth. Not sure how to get out of it without being rude though.

I guess all this kind of explains why my trip to Chicago, while fun in some ways, just wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. The whole time I was really missing the Cohort and wishing he was the one with me. We would have had SO much fun, doing those exact same things together. Heck, I can have a blast with the Cohort at the grocery store! Lol

Chicago took me to the store with him the other day and I was miserable. He took like an hour to buy stuff and it was soooo boring. It reminded me of being a kid and getting dragged along on errands with old people. Bleah.

I was positively aching for the Cohort the whole time I was away in Chicago. He didn’t even know I was gone (it was two days, one night) but I missed him something awful. Then he called, right as I was boarding the plane. I told him where I was and actually ended up getting MAD at him for no reason. I think it was just all that pent up resentment that I was spending my time with someone else, when he was who I’d rather be sharing all this with. At that time we were trying not to have sex with each other.

We couldn’t talk after the plane took off, so I stewed on my thoughts for awhile and finally figured out that was what it was. So I told him the truth and said I missed you and the whole time I was here I wanted to be with you. Being with this guy was mostly meant to take my mind OFF of him, but it hasn’t been working very well.

I am so a city girl ;)

Ahhhh….life in the city. Despite all the setbacks with moving here, I am loving it! It immediately felt like home to me, and the little suburb we are in just really fits.

I’m so close to all these things I’ve never had a chance to do or try, stuff that it seems pretty much everyone else living in the real world has done. I was so sheltered for so long, and even though my teen years were wild, I was still pretty young when I met and started dating my ex husband. I was married and had completely STOPPED drinking before I ever turned 21, lol. Some of the men I have spoken with here have been shocked that I’ve never been to a casino, a karaoke bar, a comedy show, or any of a myriad of other basics that I missed out on during all those years I was living in a radically religious environment.

I’m like a kid in a candy store, only I’m held back a bit because I have actual kids. So my time is limited. My responsibilities haven’t changed, though I do have family nearby and more options for babysitting. Even though I love to play, my children are still a priority.

Well, money holds me back too, lol, but I’ve been beginning to discover that there are seemingly men all around in this lovely metropolis that have plenty of it to share. 😉 In fact, I went out with a man yesterday who paid $45 to have my laundry done for me so I wouldn’t “have to sit in the laundromat” (my dryer broke and I am waiting on a new one to arrive). He also took me out to lunch and tonight he wants to take me to a casino, possibly in one of the limo’s he says his business owns. I’m assuming I get to play with his money, and he is getting a room there as well. ::: squeal :::

This guy is kind of an interesting situation. I met him on Craigslist, where he was looking for a submissive, white, female, but he is on the swinger site as well and I had seen his profile before (though there are no pics). It says he is 49, but I am suspecting he may be a little older. He was different, in that he wasn’t looking to play with married women, but only single ones. His swinger profile says something about wanting a poly relationship.

Over lunch he made a comment about another woman he is seeing. He later told me he would like for me to meet her, but that there will be no pressure to play together, its entirely up to us. He’s actually been pretty cool so far about being fine with me doing whatever I want as well.

He’s decent enough looking, if older, and owns his own business, which clearly makes some bank. He was talking about how he likes to do things for people and wants to know what I’m dealing with because he may be able to “help out” in some way or another. According to him, he told one woman he is not a “sugar daddy” but then he is kind of belying that with his behavior. So I guess we will see. I’m not trying to take advantage of anyone but if he wants to pay for stuff I am totally cool with that!! 😉

He even mentioned the possibility of buying me a new phone! Mine is having major issues so that would definitely be nice! I’m not getting half my texts and some aren’t going out. It is driving me crazy! It really messes up communication with people and kind of fucks with my abandonment issues (as well as others). I’m trying to keep my cool and figuring the people who want to stay in my life will, regardless.

His voice sounds an awful lot like The Professor’s. Kinda funny. In a way I sort of like that. I wonder what he will be like in bed??

I’ve not had as much sex as you might expect, so far, living here, but I have been super busy with life in general. I did sleep with the Host once since I have been here and most recently I met another new man. He is an interesting situation as well!

This guy, I also met on Craigslist. I did a little browsing and responded to a few different ads the other day. 😉 Turns out he is a guy who had ALSO hit me up recently on the swinger site. Damn, us sex addicts are always on all the sites, lmao.

Anyhow, this one I had actually responded to, and he had emailed back but we just hadn’t taken it further yet and then we met on Craigslist. Kinda funny. He too, was specifically seeking out white girls. What’s REALLY funny is that it turns out he used to date a girl I went to high school with!

She is blonde, short and curvy and has a very pretty face. I think she may have been a cheerleader. I remember her from back in the day because she was running around with some of the same crowd and dating some of the same guys that I was. We weren’t personally good friends or anything but I don’t have anything against her.

Still competing with the same girls I was in high school, for the same guys though, lol, how fucked up is that?? I’m in a totally different city, HE is in a totally different city than either of us, wtf?? Hahaha What’s even funnier is that very recently I have seen a lot of pics of her on Facebook, because she is working with one of my GIRLS from back in the day, peddling a beauty product.

This girlfriend of mine and I used to get into hella trouble, so I know she is no angel, lolol. In fact I had halfway considered getting her to come to some swinger parties with me when I ran into her again on Facebook. She is a tall, slender but curvy, black girl that is now rocking her natural hair and has always been a fashion queen. She used to CRACK me up at parties with her side comments to me about things people were wearing. Things I would never even notice, like the fact that some guy had come with a rope holding up his pants instead of a belt, lmao. She’d be all under her breath “would you check out THE BELT” and have me on the verge of spitting out my drink. Hahahaha

We grew up on the poor side of town and none of us had money, but her mom was a crackhead and her dad was homeless. Her mom had these giant wine glasses in the house that were the size of your head and we used to steal them to go to keg parties where you had to pay for your beer by the cup. Somehow we managed to get away with it, lol, and ended up with a free beer buffet.

She also used to do all her makeup at the store. Like, we’d walk in and she’d be opening up packages and just put on her face right there plus a little perfume. Haha… Somehow she never got caught and always ended up looking good. We’ve all grown up, but I’m not sure she isn’t still a klepto, especially when it comes to clothes.

I love her to death but I’m not sure hanging out with her at this point in my life would be a good idea, lol. I also know how she is about guys and she likes the pretty ones…really good looking but super conceited and complete assholes. I haven’t seen a whole lot of her “type” at the swinger parties.

Anyhow, this guy said he was with the BOTH of them this past weekend, his ex and my friend. He said they were at a bar and my friend got stood up by some guy and was pissed. Yep…I told you, she likes the assholes, lol. She even dated the guy I refer to as “The Asshole” in some of my other posts, a former fuck buddy of mine, for a bit. Never!! I couldn’t stand him like that! 

Not sure what that means with this guy and his ex/”friend” but I don’t really care. I told him just not to tell them where he met me and he was like “uh, same to you” LMAO. It did make him seem like a safer option than some of the other guys I had talked with off Craigslist and I ended up hanging with him. I even accidentally stood up another guy I had planned to meet later, at a hotel. Ooops!! I got a little occupied and totally forgot!!

He took me out for dinner and drinks at a very nice restaurant in the heart of the city. We talked a lot and I got a little tipsy and we went to a hotel around the corner. He ran in to see how much it cost and said it was a lot but he told the guy at the front counter “fuck it, it’s worth it” and paid. 😉

This guy working there was a trip. He was a young black man, maybe in his 20’s, with dreads. After the guy I was with went in the restroom, he kept asking me about what we were up to that night. He was like “you two are gonna kick it aren’t you?” alluding to the fact that he knew we were about to have sex. Well, yeah, no luggage, Sunday night…last minute…um…

Then I ran into the restroom and when I came out the guy I came with was like “that guy is really interested in you, and he kept asking me if we were going to ‘kick it'”. LMFAO!

In any case, the sex was pretty good. He was maybe not quite as dominant in bed as I would have liked but I did get to cum. He kept stopping right before I would cum several times and was trying to hush me a bit, which I hate, but whatever. For the most part it was good and he was good with his tongue and fingers too, which I haven’t had much of lately so I was enjoying that. 😉 He wants to meet up again later this week.

I’ve been talking to some more guys but I don’t have time to explain that all at the moment. We will wait until something actually happens. 😉

Masquerading as a man

Jessie-Matthews1

So I decided to try being a man for awhile.  Don’t get too excited, I only mean online.  I decided to make a man’s profile on Plenty of Fish.

WTF Lovergirl?  Why the hell would you do that?  Don’t worry, I haven’t decided I don’t want to be a woman anymore,  lol.  The PINK, people, look at the pink blog you are reading!! No worries about a sex change here anywhere in the near future. 😉

In fact, I have decided that being a man, totally sucks!!  I am more glad than ever that I was born a female, haha. 🙂  I’m especially thankful not to be a man, trying to meet women via online dating.

It all began when I was chatting the other night with a few men from an online forum.  One of the guys was saying he had given up on trying to date women online, that he thought he was too “ugly” and wasn’t getting enough responses.  I’ve seen his profile and photos and thought he was being ridiculous.  I was like, it’s not your looks, it has to be your attitude, and chided him a bit for giving up so “easily”.

The other guys were agreeing with him that if you are an average looking guy, not many women will respond to your advances.  I wasn’t convinced.  I thought he just needed to exude more CONFIDENCE.

SO, in order to prove a point, I decided to make a man’s profile, and see how I would do.  The guys helped me pick out a photo.  I was going to be a very average looking white guy, with an average build, wearing an average t-shirt, and we decided his job would be “computer programmer”.  He only had “some college” as his education, no kids and never been married.  We picked an average city for him to be from, and fairly average hobbies.

I thought we could say he was military, because of his haircut, but the guys said no. According to them, he’d get laid on that alone. What?? Okay, okay, guilty. LMFAO 

The object here, was to help this poor guy get some sex, or at least a chance at a date.  Of course, I had no intention of actually following up on any emails with women under this guise, or standing up any of them for dates.  That would be too mean.  We were just going to see if he could get RESPONSES. 

I full well believed the guys when they say women don’t usually randomly hit them up on sites like that.  I mean, I generally wouldn’t do that either.  Even if I found a guy attractive, the chances of me SAYING anything to him are slim.  Heck, I don’t usually even browse sites like that much at all.  I just open my email every few days or so and scroll down the long list of guys who have messaged me to see if any catch my interest.

My attitude has always been a little bit of annoyance when men complain about this, actually.  I mean, why would they expect us to make the first move??  Men generally don’t even LIKE women being forward with them.  At least that’s what women are told, and it seems to ring true.  You get too upfront with guys and they run away scared, lol.

The Professor used to complain about women not hitting him up on the swinger site and I’m like WTH, of course they don’t!  That’s the man’s job right?  To pursue women is all on them.  I didn’t have a whole lot of sympathy.  It’s kind of against nature to expect women to go around approaching men for sex.  The reactions we get for even admitting we WANT that can be pretty strong from most of the population.

Anyhow, the experiment ensued.  Mr. Plain and Boring was infused with a really awesome personality and loads of confidence.  Because behind the mask was…well, ME, lmao, and we all know how awesome of a person I am. 😉  I wrote up what I thought was a pretty entertaining and intriguing profile.  The men agreed.

Right away I got an email from a woman.  Score!  She had a pretty face.  I showed her to the guys in chat and they were like, “no, no…she’s overweight.  You can tell by the angle of her pics. ”  They said one really big girl didn’t count and I needed to be able to get attractive, average to thin bodied females, to respond. 

Okay, whatever.  I went to work finding women to email.  That was actually harder than I expected.  I thought there would be more attractive ladies out there, but maybe I am just picky.  The girls I finally ended up choosing for this guy, were all very cute. It just took a lot of work scrolling through the not so hot ones.

Let me just stop and say here.. that women are fucking crazy!!  This is the first time I’ve really bothered to read a bunch of female profiles, and ladies, seriously, I am embarrassed for my gender.  Women will have all these pics posted of themselves, say, wearing a g-string bikini, bending over and doing all sorts of sexy poses, then their profile reads “I’m not looking for men who want sex and don’t be trying to put your hand on my leg on a date!!”  (true story).  I actually laughed out loud at the dissonance in some of these profiles. 

Anhow, my alter ego emailed about 20 women, with what I thought were pretty good and unique opening lines.  The guys in chat thought so too.  No response.  Not a single one.  About 8 or so of them eventually viewed the profile (a feature I’d barely even noticed existed before, you can see who has been looking at you). 

He followed up with one or two of the women who viewed him, but I was losing steam.  This was depressing…and a lot of WORK.  Sheesh.  All I do normally, is email someone back, who sent me an email earlier, and I usually get a response right away.

It’s totally disappointing to log into a dating site and not have an email from a SINGLE person.  What a let down.  I totally feel a little more for the guys now.

I got excited for a minute when I saw someone had said “yes” they want to meet him on the “meet me” feature.  I clicked to see who it was and it my enthusiasm deflated.  Yet another grotesquely obese lady, and this one didn’t even have a very pretty face.

I haven’t taken down the profile yet, and maybe I’ll give it another whirl here soon, but boy, this is TIRING, from an average man’s perspective.  I never stopped to think just how much EFFORT some guys have to put into getting someone to have sex with them.  I know I should have, because I’ve been on a forum for guys who are trying to get help with getting laid for awhile, but this was still pretty eye opening for me. 

Now I know why men are always showing “online” on the swinger site, lol.  Here I thought it was just because they are perving all the naked pictures.  Now I realize at least some of that time they are probably busting their butts sending out emails, haha.  I am one of those women who often sucks at responding too.  A lot of times I don’t even read them and when I do it’s rare for me to email back, unless I see something I really like.

I’m spoiled, but I like it.  I totally love being a female.  Wouldn’t change it for the world.  Especially now that I have ventured over there and gotten a little taste of what it means to be a man.  No thanks!!!  No penis envy here, whatsoever!!  LOL 😉 

I feel bad for you men. What do you want as your consolation prize? A cookie? You can’t have this one!! Don’t go trying to get it on the first date either!! I’m playing….lol, don’t try to kill me 😉 hahaha

Slightly scary swinger party

hillbilly-family

This weekend I went on what was basically a blind date, to a swinger party.  The guy who invited me was someone who found me last week on the swinger site. We had texted back and forth a little bit, but the only face picture I had seen of him, he was wearing sunglasses and standing at a distance. 

Really, the only reason I considered going with him was because my other plans for the weekend hadn’t worked out.  I had been kind of annoyed with his texting the week before.  He had asked me to drive and meet him over an hour away and I wasn’t going to all that trouble for a man I’d never met, especially when it was raining sleet and the roads were questionable to drive on.

So I turned him down on that offer and since he wasn’t willing to come my way either, we didn’t meet.  Still, he sent a few racy pictures.  One was of his LIMP cock.  I was like WTF?  He said “you need to make it hard” and I was thinking “you need to make it wet” and briefly considered sending him back a pic of a dry vagina, a desert, or maybe some sandpaper.

Kind of a rocky start.  Then he texted me on Friday night asking if I would attend a swinger party with him here in town.  Well, I didn’t have any other plans yet and two of the swinger parties I MIGHT have gone to weren’t going to happen, so I said yes.  I wanted to be doing SOMETHING fun.

Let me tell you a little bit about the other swinger parties and what happened there first.  Remember Mr. Host?  HE was having a swinger party too, but he didn’t invite me!!! He MENTIONED the party though, I suspect by mistake, the week before. 

He had wanted me to come see him because I was supposed to be heading that way that weekend and I decided against it due to weather.  After having recently gotten in an accident on the ice I am pretty leery of driving long distances when the roads might not be doing well, plus I have to cross several bridges on the way and those are kind of scary.

When I was 4 years old, we were driving across the country to Connecticut and hit a patch of ice on a bridge.  The car spun around several times and almost went over the edge of the bridge.  When it stopped, we were facing oncoming traffic.  That experience is still lingering in my mind.

Anyhow, I wasn’t driving.  Mr. Firm is up that general direction as well and his family was not feeling well, plus he didn’t think I should risk it.  Mr. Host, on the other hand, was irritated with me.  He later said “you could have made the drive”.  Yeah, and risk my life for you?  No thanks.  He’s just not THAT important to me, you know?  Plus, he could have made the drive down to see ME but didn’t even suggest that.

So he was like “I guess we can see each other at the party next week, but I really wanted some alone time with you”.  Party?  What party?  I said I hadn’t gotten invited to the party and he said oh, that the one guy who sent out the invites must have “overlooked” me.  PLEASE.  He is the host of the party and HAD to have double checked.  Plus, supposedly he wanted us to have a COUPLE profile and me to help him with them.  I sincerely doubt I would just be “overlooked”.  Whatever. 

I didn’t give him any drama about it.  It’s not worth my time and I don’t really care that much, but it is kind of insulting.  He doesn’t invite Mr. Firm, and now me.  The two coolest people at any of his parties by a long shot. 😉  His loss, lol.

The funny thing is he still wants to see me and have sex.  I can venture a few guesses as to why he didn’t invite me.  It may have something to do with the not so great interaction I had with his cousins the last time.  Possibly it could be due to the one woman who always wants to sleep in his bed and her feelings.  I wasn’t interested in sleeping with her husband (the old guy) and that could be a problem too.  Mr. Firm said the Host may even have a different woman he wanted to invite and spend the night with him, and that is a possibility too.

If that were the case, there really isn’t anything wrong with it.  It’s not like he and I are boyfriend and girlfriend or anything serious.  We don’t even text much outside of going to the parties, though he has talked repeatedly about wanting to spend a weekend with me or doing something alone.  He also has to pay my gas and that can get expensive.  The last time it was $50 and the time before he gave me $100.

Even after claiming I was overlooked, he didn’t bother to send me an invitation. So I am pretty sure he didn’t want me to come.  Only time will tell if he does in the future.  Meanwhile, I was invited to ANOTHER house party up that way. 

The other house party was being thrown by the brother of the first house party I ever went to.  He was a guy I had played just a little bit with there, in a sort of orgy situation.  We didn’t have sex but I think he fingered me, and I went down on his girlfriend.  According to him, his girlfriend was super jealous and wouldn’t let him fuck me.

He’s not a bad looking guy, but man, he turned out to be NEEDY as fuck, lol.  He was annoying the heck out of me over text and I finally had to tell him to quit.  Like, he was sending me zillions of texts.  He was demanding to know things like if this was going to be more than sex and callling me his “lover”.  I was barely responding.  Randomly, he would tell me things like “I am afraid of heights” and “I can’t swim” and I’m thinking duuude, it is way too early to be sharing this stuff.  Plus he even said he was “anxious”.  NOT a turn on.  I was totally afraid he would turn into a stalker.

All of this is moot anyhow, because the weather was looking iffy for the weekend so I again decided to stay in town.  This left me with fewer options and I said yes to the limp dick guy. Hey, at least I was going to a party.  Admittedly the guest list wasn’t looking too hot though.  There were a few “maybe” single guys but I wasn’t sure.

As requested, I showed up early, to his hotel room.  Thankfully, he was nice looking in person.  He is in the Army.  Gotta love the “service” of the area millitary base.  It’s always got a fair amount of good looking, in shape, fuckable men, which is more than you can say for this area in general. Ahhh…God Bless America. 😉

He wasn’t super talkative and I’m still thinking this guy is kind of an ass from our previous communications.  Still, he wasn’t bad.  We talked a little bit about the party and how it was going to go down.

 He let me know right up front he wasn’t cool with me getting with any single guys there.  He said it had to be an “even trade” and that if they didn’t have anything for HIM he wasn’t sharing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I’m used to being the bartering chip.  I warned him that there might not be a lot of people where I was interested in the male half of the couple. He said we should have a “code phrase” to use for trying to gauge that, so we made one up.

Pretty quickly after that we got down to business.  We kissed a little bit and he told me to take off my clothes.  With virtually no foreplay (and without a condom!) he just rammed it in.  I didn’t even have time to ask.  Part of my bane with some guys is that I am virtually always wet.  So they take this to mean I don’t need any preparation.  Not that I need a lot, but still.

He kind of took me by surprise and he was sort of rough.  He was ramming hard and fast.  Right at the end he asked me something that sounded like “are you going to cum?” I couldn’t quite understand him and asked “what?” and he repeated himself but it was still mumbled.  I was on the verge of having an orgasm, or so I thought, so I said “yes”.  Bam!  It was over.

 
He pulled out and wiped what looked like a drop of cum off the end of his dick.  OMG, did he just cum inside me???  I was freaking out.  I had been super wet already but it felt like he may have cum.  It had all been so fast, I wasn’t sure.

I got up to take a shower.  We didn’t talk much and I quickly glanced at the monthly cycle calendar on my phone.  I should have ovulated a few days ago, plus I was feeling super horny then, but it was cutting it close.  While I was washing my hair and body my thoughts were racing.  I needed to ask him to be sure.

I stepped out of the bathroom.  “Did you cum inside me?”  He said “yeah, you said I could”.  I said “I thought you were asking me something else”.  I said “I’m not on birth control” and he was like “are we okay then?”  I said I thought so but wasn’t sure.  Yikes.

THANK GOD though, when I got home, I was able to check my fertility monitor and it said I am not currently fertile.  I love that little thing.  It’s like a tiny microscope where you can check your saliva or cervical mucous and see where your body is at.  If you are fertile, you will see crystallization going on and if not, it just looks like tiny bubbles.  So I’m pretty sure I ovulated the other day and am in the clear.

A midwife gave me this device years ago, before I even got pregnant with my first child.  I was wanting to stop using birth control and go to natural family planning and this was the easiest, most awesome method ever.  Of course to use it for proper prevention of pregnancy you have to chart your cycles for a few months to make sure how many days in you are ovulating.  I have a general idea but my cycle has been kinda wacky lately.

For those that are curious, it is hard to find in the U.S. but the fertility monitor was made in Spain and is considered a 97% effective method of birth control, if used properly.  I was able to predict accurately when I got pregnant with each of my children using this device.  I still remember looking at it right after sex with my ex husband the time I got pregnant with my first child and seeing it completely covered with little microscopic “ferns”. 

Here is an article about it Holistic Birth Control and here is a picture Fertility Tester. It was the only one I could find, though you might be able to with more digging, find someone selling one elsewhere. Note that they won’t sell to the United States…hmmm..conspiracy?

There used to be some other similar devices on the market as well, but they looked different.  I suppose any microscope would do.  It’s a shame Americans don’t get more information about stuff like this.  Guess it wouldn’t make the pharmaceutical companies enough money.

Anyhow, I am pretty confident that I am in the safe zone.  Years of using NFP has taught me to be more in tune with my body and notice the signs.  I get really, really horny during ovulation, lol and that was earlier in the week. The confirmation of my fertility monitor makes me feel pretty good that I was right.  Still, I was kind of in shock and it threw me for a loop for a minute there.

Onto the party.  Hmmm…well, there weren’t a whole lot of attractive people there.  There were an unusual amount of elderly folks at this one.  We are talking full heads of gray hair.  My guess is that some of these people were in their 70’s.  Someone said the swinger party here that is usually for older people has closed down, so maybe that is why.

There were also lots of cowboy hats, country music and obese people.  Not too unusual in this area, but not really my style.  One of the highlights of the night was a naked jello wrestling match.  The women were maybe 350 lbs a piece.  The guy I was with said it reminded him of sumo wrestlers, lol.  One of the women had blinking lights attached to her nipples.  They were rubbing jello all over each other’s bodies and licking it off. He was not impressed and said that image would be hard to erase from his mind, lol.

With the party being kind of lame and people mostly sitting at tables, I was trying hard to cheer up my “date”.  He knew one other woman there, that he had slept with before and known for 5 or 6 years.  She danced with him once but left early.  Another woman was trying to hit on him, but as he pointed out, she had no teeth!  LOL

So I was flirty with him and he said I was the most attractive woman there, that no one else interested him at all.  We danced and kissed and made out a lot and he seemed to open up a little more.  There was only one other man there that I thought was a “maybe” though I didn’t say anything because he was single and never approached us.

What is funny is THAT guy hit me up on Sunday, over Plenty of Fish.  He had apparently emailed me once before because I could see the conversation but I had never responded.  I suck at answering people’s emails on dating sites and only do it once in a while, like if I have nothing better to do that night or the guy seems extra my type (like Mr. Firm).

 He said he saw me at the party but didn’t want to offend the guy I was with by talking to me.  Kind of funny, at a swinger party, but he was probably right.  At one point the guy I came with left for the restroom and he claims when he came back 6 men were talking to me and giving him dirty looks.  They were all old, overweight or unattractive so it wasn’t really a big deal, but he was being a tad possessive.

There was also this one guy at the party that people are always talking about.  The Professor had mentioned him before and I have spoken to the man and seen him in action at other parties, but he just doesn’t do it for me.  He’s some kind of doctor and constantly fucking one woman after another.  A lot of people seem really impressed, but he’s not my style.

We got pulled into the sex swing room because he was fucking the toothless woman and everyone was like “you have to see this”.  I don’t think my military friend was too impressed.  He was like this guy is on Viagra or something.  I’m amused by it but not really turned on.  The guy is like a jackhammer energizer bunny, going, going and going, really fast and hard and he does a lot of grunting.  Its fun to watch for a minute, just out of curiosity but I’m not a huge voyeur.  More of an exhibitionist ;).  I want to be in on some action (but not with him, lol).

At one point, the military guy pulled me into the hallway and said he wanted to fuck me there.   Then he changed his mind and we went into the women’s bathroom.  He had me bent over and was fucking me from behind.  He was still pretty rough, though he lasted longer and didn’t cum.  He said he didn’t want to cum there at the party and was saving it for later. 

We finally went back to our room around closing. We talked a bit with a woman in the hallway who was fairly attractive and he invited her back to our room but she and her husband were waiting on another couple. Husband came out and wasn’t hot, lol.  He didn’t even have to ask me about that one. 

The rest of the night was mostly us having sex.  It was a lot better this time and lasted way longer.  He bit me a lot though, hard, and left some bruises.  They aren’t hickeys but actual bruises and my shoulders hurt.  I think from him gripping them really tight.  There is a little, light, hickey on my neck but not really noticeable.

He kept saying no one had made him this hard in a long time and that he didn’t want to stop. 😉  It went on a looong time and was pretty hot, though he kept stopping when I was just about to cum, I think to prevent himself from doing so.  Finally, at the end I came pretty hard, and so did he, on my stomach this time, though he had the nerve to ask if he could cum inside me again! 

In the morning, after my shower, while I was at the mirror putting my makeup on, he came up behind me again wanting to fuck.  He was having trouble with his erection and said he thought it was due to being spent from the night before so I’m not even sure why he was trying, but okay.  I sucked his dick to get it ready and we had like a 30 second fuck before he again came on my stomach.  He never did go down on me.  Ah, well.

 I texted him after I got home to say I checked and my fertility thing says I’m not fertile so we should be okay.  He responded that was cool and said he had had a good time.  I’m not sure, at this point, whether or not I will ever see him again, but I guess time will tell.