Archive | June 2014

Communication with the Cohort

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I’ve been hanging out with the Cohort quite a bit lately. Last night we went to a swinger party. I’m really liking him and the way he handles situations with me. We seem to be on the same page about a lot of things.

He SEEMS to be indicating that he wants a more “serious” relationship with me. By “serious” I do not mean “monogamous”. A lot of the things he says and does, though, seem to indicate he wants something more long term. I’m okay with that. Very okay with that. 🙂 But I’m not going to push it.

I’m excited, but tentative. I know there are a lot of things that might hold a man back from wanting anything other than just sex with me. Still, so far he does not seem intimidated, so we will see. He keeps saying I seemed to have come into his life at just the right time, when he was on the fence regarding monogamy vs. swinging. I guess I’m like the perfect compromise. 😉

We had a good talk before going to the party. Our final decision was that we would be free to play separately, rather than try to find the perfect people to play with together. No handcuffing one another. We COULD also play together if there were a group situation going down. He even let me know he’d be okay with threesomes, whether they were with me and another girl, or me and another guy (see why I’m liking this guy??). If one of us were going off or using the hotel room (the party was held at a hotel), we’d text to let the other know where we were at.

He got a room with double beds, one would be for play and the other kept clean for us to sleep on. At the end of the night it would be just he and I in there and no one else allowed to stay. If any gangbang situations went down, I probably wouldn’t be a part of it, though he might.

I didn’t even tell him about the gangbang thing the other night. A couple of guys (including Mr. Firm) advised me not to if I’m thinking more serious with him. I’m not obligated to tell him what I do at this point outside of at parties, and why risk possibly upsetting him?

So I said nothing about that, BUT he knows I have had negative experiences in the past. We’ve talked about it. What’s kind of ironic is that he’s been in a LOT of gangbangs. Like, more than your average Joe, haha. He was involved in some things that actually ended up being a big scandal that I can’t talk about on my blog. In any case, it was all consensual and not pushed. I like that he has been very open with me about that.

Anyhow, in keeping with the gangbang theme, some kind of crazy stuff came out right before this party went down last night. In fact, right after we pulled up to the hotel and were walking across the parking lot to check in. SOMEHOW, we had gotten to talking about this girl he used to date that went to my high school. Through her, he had met some people from my hometown.

He just happened to bring up, this one guy he said he had met, who really got on his nerves. There was some situation where he happened to be in a bar, with the ex girlfriend from my town, but they were no longer dating. He had temporarily broken up with this other girl he was dating and she happened to be there too.

Okay, so THIS GUY was trying to hit on her and telling the Cohort he was going to get her, without knowing that it was a girl he had been seeing. I guess he wasn’t saying because he was there with the other girl. In any case she was shutting him down (I’m guessing more because he was there watching than anything ) and dude was really starting to get to him.

ANYHOW, this is all important only because guess who the guy was??? The freaking guy I was IN LOVE with way back when I was 18, (before I met my ex husband) and who massively hurt me by trying to push me into a gangbang when we were dating.

I mean it was awful. We were in a hotel room, I was naked, because I’d had sex with him. These other guys (10-15 of them) had come in the room and they stole my clothes. I didn’t end up doing anything with them because I started crying and asking him not to let them touch me. He finally ended up telling them to back off, putting his clothes on me and driving me home in his underwear. But not after trying to coerce me into doing it by telling me if I “really loved” him I would.

It was pretty traumatic at the time. I don’t even like talking about it too much here on my blog because I know a lot of people would not understand some of it or why I would even have fallen for this guy in the first place. He was also there when I was 15 and the first time I ever actually got involved in a gangbang.

That time it was most definitely not something I wanted to do. He was the one standing there saying “man, she’s scared, I don’t want to do this” over and over again, but he’d gone along with it. He was 19 at the time, at least one of the other guys was 21…I don’t even want to get into it. The reason it is even relevant is that he brought it up in the second scenario (after we’d continued fucking for 3 years) and was like “you’ve done it before” as part of his reasoning that I would do it again.

Please, if you are reading this and it upsets you, I understand, but don’t tell me what I “should” have done in those situations or regarding dating him later on. I know. I was young and made a lot of bad decisions that I can’t go back and change now. Like it or not, a few years down the road I fell in love with this guy, and I mean hard. It took me years to get over what happened with him.

Honestly, I don’t think he did much better. He would try to sabotage my dating other guys after that. Like any time he would see me out at a club or something, he would try to get the guy alone and tell him I had a boyfriend, make threats to him, or tell lies about me to keep him away. He even did that to the guy I had the affair with (who is his half brother, complicated, I know).

He tries to malign me. 20 years later. Its all kinds of fucked up. Especially because he will still like, poke me on Facebook. He did it again a couple of days ago. He’s tried asking me out for drinks too and I shut him down in sort of a mean way (not that he didn’t deserve it). Yet I’ve been friendly other times and even have him on my Facebook page. Don’t ask, lol. It will never make sense. I made the mistake of having sex with him ONE time, after the incident too, despite everything. It was the day before I went away for college and I haven’t seen him since.

Ugh. I’m sure that was painful to read. It paints my decisions in a pretty bad light (and they were) as well as the guys involved. That may be true but I was young and dumb and sometimes you just do stupid stuff.

SO, when the Cohort brought him up I was like OMG, no…not him…hahahaha. Of ALL freaking people! When I first said I knew him he asked “did you fuck him?” and said he had heard this guy was running through all kinds of women. I said yes and he said (jokingly-not serious at all) “Man, I just lost a little bit of respect for you”. I told him that doesn’t even scratch the surface and let him drag it out of me that we had dated.

Later on, sometime in the middle of the night, and after some drinks, we got to talking about this again and it all came out. The whole story about this guy. To my relief, he took it like a champ. 😉 He wasn’t bothered by it at all and didn’t bat an eye when I said I’d gone back and fucked him again or any of the other messed up stuff.

His reaction was “you are ‘well traveled’…I like that about you, you’re a good girl” (makeout session) Ha… He said the only person it made him think worse of is the guy, who he already didn’t like, lol. He said it helped him understand my leeriness towards the whole gangbang thing too, that none of the ones he has been involved with had ever been like that. The women always were fully on board.

It felt good to get all that off my chest, to someone who wasn’t judgmental about it. A lot of men would be. Apparently not him though. He reminds me a little bit of Mr. Firm. I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot between the two of them, for real. 🙂

I mentioned Mr. Firm to him, briefly, because there is a very slight possibility he could be at this lake party we are planning to go to soon. I wanted him to know if he is, that is someone I’d definitely want to have some time with. His reaction was “I can tell you like this guy by the tone of your voice” lol. I said well, yeah, he is a good guy and I don’t have a negative word to say about him. He just said he was glad that I was associating with good men now (yeah, he still doesn’t know about that other night, but whatever, I’m done with Cousin 3 and his crew for sure).

So, its all good. The party went pretty well. He played but I didn’t. It was with a woman I knew he would play with beforehand, a married woman he has known longer than me. For a minute it bothered me, even though I knew it shouldn’t, and he didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve met her before and she seems nice and not catty or competitive.

I know she likes him and also that she fucked like 5 other men earlier in the week. He said he wasn’t going to lie that kind of threw HIM off for a bit even though they aren’t like boyfriend/girlfriend but any time you are fucking someone it can mess with your emotions a bit. I get that, totally. I think probably everyone has feelings like that, even though hearing about him feeling jealous over someone else maybe gave me a little twinge too. Things can get kind of complicated in the Lifestyle, lol.

Afterwards, he made a point of paying attention to, and reconnecting with me, so that helped. He wanted to talk about how I felt about it and said he’d kind of rushed things with her and not even cum because he was worried about getting back to me. So we still have some things to iron out there, but its nice to have open communication about it.

I COULD have played but I chose not to. While he was gone I danced and talked with another guy but I just wasn’t feeling him. He didn’t appear to be trying to get me back to his room at first and was just talking about taking me to dinner (eyeroll) and I admit a part of me wanted to push for it, just to even the “score” and because the Cohort was fucking someone and it felt unfair. Despite those passing thoughts, when the dude jokingly slipped his hotel room key down the cleavage of my dress, I didn’t bite. I didn’t want to play with someone just for that reason.

Anyhow, I got lots of playtime in with the Cohort that night as well as talking about everything under the sun. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping going on, lol. We went out for breakfast in the morning and I’m feeling pretty good about it all.

A reluctant gangbang

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Tonight, I had a sort of gangbang. It was only 3 guys, so I don’t know that it officially “counts” but whatever. I’m also not feeling that great about it. It wasn’t what I set out to do. I should have known better.

My thing about gangbangs, is that its so easy to get pressured into fucking guys that I really don’t want, once I’m already there and naked. That’s kind of what happened tonight. I wanted to fuck one of the guys. The other ones, not so much.

Anyhow, the original PLAN, was supposedly for me to just meet up with ONE person, the Host’s cousin, from my stories Meeting Cousin #3 and Keeping it in the Family. He’s been hitting me up here and there for a bit, but I hadn’t made the time to see him. Tonight, I was like, what the Hell, it sounds kind of fun.

He texted me his address, which is about 15 minutes away, offhandedly mentioning that he has a woman but she wasn’t there. I later found out he is married and she was at work. Married ladies- do you know where your husbands are at while you are working? Probably gangbanging some girl in the guest room with all his buddies and family members. They’ll never say a word. :p

This is why, I would have a nearly impossible time trusting any man who told me he would never cheat. I’ve seen WAY too much of this stuff from the other end, from the time I was young. In fact, these guys remind me of a family I knew growing up, I think I’ve mentioned that.

Better, to just assume they are going to cheat, and that eventually I will too. So, stop worrying about it and just agree to do your own thing. That’s the angle I’m coming from now, anyhow.

To add to the semi nostalgic feeling, he told me he and his “partner” were over there “slappin bones”. Seems like that’s all the old black men in my neighborhood ever did when I was younger. Sit on their porch and drink beer and play dominoes, lol.

His neighborhood was very similar to the Married Man’s, and not too far away from him actually. He too, lives in an older, restored, mansion, in a place that is scattered with a combination of fixed up homes and total slums. He asked, when I arrived, if I was scared of the area and I was like, no, lol. It would take a lot for me to be afraid of a neighborhood.

He had me come in through the garage and backyard, where I was greeted at the back door by a giant pitbull. He was like “are you scared of dogs”? No, not that either. 😉

He fixed me up a paper plate with homemade lasagna. I asked and he said it was made by his wife. Nice. I’m sure she would really appreciate him feeding their guest. It was good though, along with a cold can of Hawaiian Fruit Punch.

His brother in law was there (his sister’s husband) and a baby nephew, who was cute and maybe 18 months old. He introduced me and we sat on the couch to eat and watch an episode of a show that is similar to Cheaters. Fitting.

Then he took me downstairs to show off his basement. Wow!! A GIGANTIC screen TV and lots of movies and gaming stuff, alongside a bunch of really nice leather couches and a massage chair. There was basically a whole gym down there with various excercise equipment that he claims he never uses. He had to show me the bathroom that had only urinals. This was definitely the “man cave”. It’s also where he had his table set up with dominoes. He had to point out the painting of a naked woman at the entrance when you go down the steps. He said that’s so you can walk by and “slap that ass”.

Upstairs was much like the Married Man’s house. It was decorated with lots of artsy paintings and antique looking items, as well as family photos. I didn’t get a chance to look close up, but I could see that his wife was black. We didn’t go to the top floor but he said the entire thing is the master bedroom and bath. He had an office and a room for his 21 year old, who is moved out of the house, as well as a guest room.

He said normally on Wednesday nights the guys come over to play dominoes and that he was in the process of telling them not to show up. Yeahhhh sure…. A guy shows up at the door. He was a bigger guy, though he wore his weight well and had an attractive face. They’ve known each other since 4th grade. He introduced me and mentioned he had 5 kids, as well as a nephew that he takes care of. The brother in law left and he gave the baby kisses goodbye, tossing him up in the air.

Once they were gone, he pulled me over to him on the couch and pulled his dick out. He gently took a hold of my hair and pulled me down to suck on it, while the other guy sat on the other end of the couch. After a few minutes he told me to follow him up to the guest room.

In there he wanted me to suck his dick more, kneeling while he sat in a chair. He pulled off my shirt and bra. Then he told me to go call the other guy and tell him to come watch me. He said he wanted to see what he would do. I laughed and wouldn’t do it.

He was persistent. He kept telling me to go call the guy. I shook my head no. He pulled my hair and got more insistent (not mean, just demanding). He said he wanted him to watch, that he likes to share with his friends. As he later told me, its only his good friends and cousins, he says it’s like sharing a good piece of chocolate, you only want to give it to people you know and like.

I finally aquiesced. What the hell. I guessed I’d be fucking him too.

I walked out of the bedroom in a pair of shorts and no shirt or bra and asked the guy to come upstairs. He willingly followed (ha). The Cousin wasn’t satisfied with me just inviting him in there. He wanted me to say “come watch me suck his dick”.

I wasn’t cooperating. I basically kept laughing it off. He held my face and turned it towards the other guy and said “say it, don’t be shy” and I shook my head. He kept at it, until I said what he asked me to. Then he had me suck his dick some more and was demanding that I look the BOTH of them in the eyes while doing so. The other guy, at this point, was lying on the floor next to me and the chair that the Cousin was sitting in.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see him stand up and start to unbutton his pants behind me. The Cousin pulled me off of him and turned my head towards the other guys dick, telling me to suck him too. I went ahead and did what he asked, though I wasn’t that thrilled about the second guy. He was alright.

The Cousin wanted me to get on the bed and suck HIS dick again while the other guy fucked me from behind. He wore a condom (everyone did) and was having trouble performing/getting it up. It wasn’t really that exciting but the Cousin was hard as a rock and I still wanted to fuck him again. More so than the guy behind me.

When he finally did start to fuck me it was 10 times better and I’m sure my reaction showed that. He’s a little rough but good nevertheless. He kept fucking me, much longer and harder than the guy before. He pinned me down with my legs up over my head and wouldn’t let me move even when it was hurting me a bit.

He wanted the other guy to put his dick in my mouth again but he didn’t. He was getting dressed to leave and go back home to his family, I guess. As he was getting ready to leave a car pulled up in front of the house and they could see out the window. They were trying to figure out who it was (supposedly).

Yeah, it was guy #3, someone I have fucked before, twice. Another one of the Host’s cousin’s. I wasn’t really keen on fucking him again, especially since the last time he and his other cousin had gotten too rough with me and tried to choke me on their dicks. I said I’d have to go soon and the Cousin promised to finish up fast before the other guy came up to the room.

But he didn’t. He kept going and going. It was pretty good actually but I wasn’t trying to fuck the other cousin. He came in the room and said “oh hi, its Lovergirl right?”. Yeah.. he took off his clothes and got on the bed. They wanted me to suck his dick while the Cousin fucked me from behind.

So I did. For what seemed like a very long time. My hair was a matted mess and it was hard to give a good blowjob while the other dude was pounding me, lol. I did what I could though. This cousin was also having erection issues. Maybe he really didn’t want to fuck me either, or could sense that I wasn’t that into him, IDK.

He came on my face once but played it off like he hadn’t. The guy behind me was bossing me around and telling me to suck his dick so I think he didn’t want to let him know. So I had to suck his limp, already came, dick, back up again while I was being slammed from behind. It took a while.

He started getting a bit impatient with the Cousin, who was fucking me this way and that. Like, come on man, give me a turn. He did but it didn’t last long, he had already cum and was still struggling with his erection.

The Cousin got up and went in the other room to take a phone call, wanting me to suck this guy’s dick, but I started getting dressed. He apologized, saying he’d worked several 12 hour days and was tired. Yeah, whatever.

We made small talk and I was half dressed to go home when the Cousin showed up again. He was like wait! I’m not done with you yet! I haven’t even busted a nut! He shook his head at the other guy leaving and started to take my clothes back off, promising he’d be done in “5 minutes”.

For the next half hour plus, we kept fucking. It was pretty good and he likes to talk a lot (which I like) but I wouldn’t promise to see him again when he kept asking. Then he started getting all obsessed with wanting to fuck my ass.

He was holding my legs over my head, saying look at that asshole, look at that perfect heart shape, just let me “kiss” it with my dick…just put in the tip. I kept saying no, so he’d stick a finger in there and try to lube it up with spit, while playing with my clit.

He promised he wouldn’t do it this time but said next time for sure he is getting that ass. Uh…yeah, there goes another reason not to go back, lol. In fact, I still hurt a bit from his FINGER. Ugh…

When it was over he asked me to choose “in your throat or on your face?” I said on my face and he covered me like a glazed donut. He got a washcloth for me to wipe it off and walked me back down to the kitchen for a can of pop, after we got dressed. He walked me to my vehicle and hugged me goodbye, saying he definitely wants to see me again. I’m thinking probably not…

Red flags and other tidbits

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I just got back from dinner with the man I recently referred to as Mr. Shady. It ended because his girlfriend called, angry, and he had to take me home, in order to go argue with her. Nice. LOL I’m just glad I didn’t go back to his house first and end up with a surprise visit!

This is the guy I went to an art walk with once, and saw one other time. I’m not that physically attracted to him and I didn’t want to kiss him. I discovered WHY later, when I saw a can of Skoal on his coffee table and asked about it. Yuck!

Anyway, I called him “shady” because he is just that. The things he tells me are sometimes crazy off the wall. The more I hear, the more I wonder about him overall.

I mean sometimes its little things, like the way he told me he was “forging papers” at work like it was nothing, or the fact that he claims to have “stolen” the cable in his apartment. Other times its his “jokes” about how he only has 4 kids that he “knows of” or about how he wants to eat cake batter out of my pussy (what?). Even tonight at dinner, he was pretending he was going to pocket the silverware from the restaurant. Who does that, when they are almost 40? SMFH…

Then there was the story he told me, about some escort he knows, who supposedly got tied up, dunked in a toilet and anal raped, then severely beat up, by a famous football player (he didn’t give names). Later he mentioned wanting to tie ME up. I wasn’t feeling that, for some reason, after the horror story.

He asked me the other day if I wanted to be in a relationship with him and I told him no, I’m not ready to be tied down. He said he wouldn’t mind if I fucked other people, that he has dated escorts and strippers and it doesn’t bother him at all. Still, I wasn’t interested.

I’m really not all that interested in him at all, so why am I even talking to him? I don’t know…I guess its because he’s really incredibly good at going down on me and wasn’t too bad in bed either. There were things I liked and he is at the least, entertaining. He’s persistent too, and flatters me a lot.

After tonight though, I just don’t know. He told me a story about how his ex wife tried to run him over with a car. He said he jumped on the hood and she drove for a minute then slammed on the brakes, throwing him. He showed me the scar on the back of his head where he says it was split open. According to him, she then started yelling at him that she wished they had never had a baby together, because now her child was “half ni**er”. Its hard for me to picture someone actually saying that but he claims that is why he then punched her and broke her nose. He said he knows he was wrong but that he lost it and had to pay her thousands in damages as well as go to domestic violence counseling.

Wow. What do you say to that? IDK. It’s made me even more leery to be spending time with him, even if it’s just for sex. Not sure what I am going to do now. He wants to meet with me in a couple of days. What with the crazy stories and the current angry girlfriend though… yeah, this could be bad news. Did I mention we drove past a lake and he made some comment about how he had heard it was full of dead bodies? Uhhh.. really?

I’m not even sure how I am going to end things. This guy calls a lot on the phone and he even knows where I live. I suppose I could block him and just stop answering calls and texts. I may have to do that.

Okay, enough about him. Lets get to some of my better stories, like the one about the Cohort meeting someone I’ve had sex with, at a gangbang party on the lake.

Let me just say first, that I am genuinely liking the Cohort quite a bit. He has a great personality and is a lot of fun. I’m also working for HIM too now, in addition to the Married Man. He’s got a little Ebay store, besides his regular job, that he has me helping with.

I’m actually enjoying it. He’s a bit of a perfectionist, but so am I, and we seem to be working well together. He likes my input and ideas and thinks I can actually help him make quite a bit more money, plus its beneficial to me and pays more than what I am doing for the Married Man. Not quitting on him yet though. 😉

Actually, since I’ve been working for the Married Man, I’ve discovered I like him more than I thought I would as a person. He’s actually kinda sweet, though when he last came over to deliver a paycheck, he looked like he wanted to eat me for breakfast! 😉 We haven’t been able to have sex since the kitchen table incident, but I am sure we will soon. Its definitely not for lack of desire.

For awhile, he was texting me, like clockwork, around midnight every night. I think the fantasy was there, but something was holding it back from actually turning into a booty call.

The Cohort seems to like me a fair amount too. Like, the other day, he was at a strip club and texting me how he wished it was me there, riding him. I was like, I cannot believe this guy is texting me while he is getting a lap dance! LOL THEN, he texts me while he is at a gangbang!

He said he and one of the other guys were talking, and my name came up. Turns out it was another one of my playmates. I’m like oh crap, which one is he talking about??

At first, I thought maybe it was Mr. Firm. I know he knows this couple and that wouldn’t bother me so much. But then I was thinking, it could be any number of guys. I knew it wasn’t the Host (even though I’ve seen him fucking this woman before) because the Cohort saw him at the party we attended together, and he didn’t know this guy’s name.

As a quick aside, the Host and I had a little booty call the other day and I made him cum from a blow job, he says for the first time in his life. So, I did it again a few minutes later ;). I also questioned him a bit more on his behavior towards me at that party and he again said I was ignoring him. He said he talked to the Cohort in the bathroom, and from what he was telling me it made it sound like he (Mr Host) was being a bit of a jerk. Sigh.

He claims the Cohort told him he’d “heard about him” and that he thought it was something bad. Come on! All he knew, was that virtually everyone at the party that I knew, mentioned that they had met me, at the Host’s house. The way he made it sound, was like the Cohort said that to him, and he blew him off and walked away. How rude. Ugh.

Okay, so back to this gangbang. They are gangbanging some woman and somehow my name came up (???) He said the guy was military. Well that narrows it down…. a little…

Finally I got a name. Yep. It was Mr. Military himself. Oh Lord. I’ve been trying to avoid him. I thought moving away would be good enough but he’s actually contacted me several times since then, wanting to come by and visit and saying he misses me, that I always made him feel great and he loved my smile. He even referred to me once as “innocent” (wth?)

I had felt kind of bad putting him off, but apparently his little talk with the Cohort was enough to stop all communication. I haven’t heard from him since. The Cohort says he wasn’t trying to “stake his claim” or anything, but that he let everyone know, in no uncertain terms, that we had been hanging out and that there would be more to come in the future. Hmmmm….

I’m actually glad and the Cohort really doesn’t appear to be the jealous type or anything. I think he just means we are going to continue to see each other, which is totally cool with me. He knows I fuck different guys, like my other boss, and Mr. Poly, though he doesn’t know about allll of them.

Speaking of Mr. Poly…wow, if I’ve ever had a real Sugar Daddy, this might be it, haha. Or at least close to it! He’s currently having the a/c in my van looked at and possibly even paying to fix it (we will see). Meanwhile, I get to drive his SUV!!

He’s also paying for his girlfriend and I to take pole dance classes together. I’ve been wanting to join this gym up here since I moved here and just didn’t have the money. When I mentioned it he was eager to pay for us both to get started. They also have stuff like Zumba and what they call “Urban Yoga” which I guess is like yoga moves to less relaxing music (50 Cent? LOL I guess I’ll find out).

On top of that, he went out the next day and bought a pole!! He had it set up in an empty room at the girlfriend’s house (that he owns). Then he had his people (I guess they are maintenance people, that’s what he calls them) paint the room and add disco lights to the ceilings and wire speakers into it as well. Now we have a fun place to practice and I’m sure he will want a private dance. He’s gonna put a couch in there too! Woohoo!!

I still don’t really know what this guy does for a living. He did say he was actually going to BUY one of the clubs that we went to a couple of weeks ago, but they wouldn’t sell it, and he is supposedly buying the auto shop where my van is getting looked at too. He says he has a couple of limos. He’s got people working to install internet in places and also works with the electric companies and casinos. That and he carries a gun with him all the time, supposedly because of some of the areas he has to work in. Who knows? I’m just happy to be getting the little side “benefits” lol.

The girlfriend seems to be warming up to me. I’ve been pretty nice to HER and I think she wants someone to hang out with. Still, I don’t think either of us is interested in fucking the other. Mr. Poly is nice and not bad looking, but I’m not probably as interested in him as he is in me either. The sex isn’t BAD or anything but its mediocre. Still, its all a fun diversion, and like I’ve said before, having a Sugar Daddy has always been a bit of a fantasy scenario.

So folks, thats a wrap for tonight. Hope all is well with all of you!!