Archive | February 2014

Keeping it in the family

wayans brothers

 

So here I am in bed, kissing this complete stranger that Mr. Host had sent in to “take care of” me, another one of his cousins.  I was a bit peeved at Mr. Host, not only for ignoring me, but now he was giving me to someone else to fuck?  It was confusing, yet, I was excited too. 

The new guy was hot, better looking than either of his other cousins, and I liked his demeanor.  I was turned on by the concept, that I was about to fuck this guy I had never even met.  I wasn’t about to say no.

He was kissing me, one hand in my hair and the other between my legs, rubbing against the satin fabric.  He said “you’ve got a phat pussy under there, I can feel it.  I can’t wait to be inside you”.  He pulled off his boxers and tugged at my pajama pants, letting me take them, and my top, the rest of the way off, as he slid on a condom.  “I am looking forward to seeing this big, black, dick against that white skin” he said, as he watched me undress.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked a white girl” he claimed as he was sliding his way in.  “MMMmmm, I can’t keep my hands out your hair…and you have such beautiful eyes.”  “God, you are so fucking tight”.  He kept telling me he couldn’t believe his good luck, happening to have stopped by at his cousin’s house.

The sex was good.  He was well endowed, though not exceptionally so.  You could tell he knew what he was doing.  Halfway through he was saying “this pussy is so good, I am definitely getting your number” and talking about how he wanted to come down to see me on his motorcycle.  He was thrilled when I told him I’ll be moving up that way soon.

At some point, not long after we started, I heard someone in the hallway, using the restroom.  You could hear a door open and close and the fan being turned on.  It made me wonder who was out there?  Had the Host and those other people even left?

After having me bend over on my hands and knees for a bit, he flipped me onto my back and said “I’m gonna fuck that ass now”.  I said “No, no, no, I don’t want that” and he was like “are you sure?  I seen it winking at me”.  I laughed “NO, it was definitely not winking at you”. He teased “oh yes it was, I saw when you were bent over the bed, it was giving me the eye”.  I said I’d done it before I just don’t like it.  His response was “you just haven’t been with a man who knows how to do it right”.  “But I bet all the guys say that to you, don’t they?” He laughed.  I said yep, that is exactly what they say!  Lmao.

He said my pussy was good enough that he wasn’t gonna really care one way or the other, and went back to fucking me again.  Towards the end he asked if it was okay to cum on my face and I said just don’t get it in my eyes.  So he pulled out and was pretending to spell out his initials on my face with his dick as he came, lmao.  He was like “I’ve gotta leave my mark on that”.

He cuddled with me for a bit and asked if I’d fucked the Host yet tonight.  I said no, and he couldn’t believe he’d let him come in there first.  He took down my number and texted my phone.  Then he left the room to go get a drink out of his car. 

He came back with a lemon iced tea for me that he said he’d just bought at the gas station before he came over.  He said he’d gone downstairs and seen the Host was fucking someone.  I asked who and he said he thought it was that same woman from earlier.  She was riding him and the Host had beckoned him over with his hand.  The cousin said he wasn’t sure if he meant for him to come join in or go get me but that he’d rather just be up here with me alone.

I was surprised the Host was fucking her.  I’m not sure why, I guess I should have assumed that he would be.  She wasn’t unattractive or anything, though she was in her 40’s and maybe a little worn looking.  She was tall and blonde and skinny. 

I guess that’s why he sent the cousin into me.  I’d certainly rather fuck him than the hillbilly guy, any day.  Plus, he DID ask if I had gotten my fun in and probably assumed I’d been fucking more than I had at the party.  Who knows what Mr. Hillbilly was doing?  Watching?  Passed out?  Haha

Anyhow, I fucked Mr. Cousin again (I might have to change his name later if I see him again, I don’t want any newbies to my blog to get confused or too many people finding it searching for incest stories, lmao).  This time he pulled the condom off towards the end and went right back in.  Totally defeats the purpose there, but not the first time a guy has pulled that!

After we were finished (and he again came on my face) he wanted to talk a lot.  He asked if I wanted to come with him to some jazz bar that was open till 6 am and eat catfish.  Normally, that might sound good, but I was tired and ready to sleep.

He was telling me all about how he and the Host and their other cousins have been sharing females since they were in high school.  He said his first sexual experience was actually a MFM threesome.  According to him though, it had been awhile since he’d shared someone with Mr. Host, specifically, and he has never been to a swinger party.

He said he makes a point of not judging women because then they open up to him a lot more.  I agreed that was true and admitted that I had grown up with a family that operated similarly, with the brothers/cousins all fucking the same women.

 The guy I had the affair with was from that same family, though I had promised him during that time I wouldn’t fuck his brothers.  We weren’t at the point where he wanted to share any longer and I would stay away from most of them these days, for various reasons.  I admit to laughing a couple of years ago when one of them posted on Facebook that all he wants is to find just ONE woman that hasn’t fucked any of his brothers or cousins, and all the responses were like “have you thought about moving to Alaska?” lol. 

 He finally left around 5:30 and I heard the Host and his company getting ready to leave a few minutes later.  I knew they’d have a 20 minute or so drive each way, so I drifted back to sleep.

I was awoken by Mr. Host climbing on my back and kissing my neck.  I peeked at the clock, 6:30, but pretended to be asleep.  I was still irritated with him.  I lay completely still and didn’t move.

He slid off my pj pants and started gently biting his way up my thighs and on the underside of my ass.  I didn’t budge.  So he spread my legs open and quickly entered me from behind.  I gasped and he whispered in my ear “are you ready for your 30 seconds?” I said “what. ever.” and we had great sex for like the next hour, twice, before falling asleep.  He was saying stuff like “who’s number 1? Tell me I’m number 1″…and promising that he is going to make the sex different each time so I’ll be sure to keep coming back for more.

He woke me up with more doggystyle sex, which was pretty good, cumming inside me, because again, he’s got a vasectomy.  I started my period the next day, thank God, so we know that other guy who came in me didn’t get me pregnant.

 Anyhow, it’s hard to stay mad and he later claimed that the reason he left me alone at the second party was to let me be and let me enjoy myself.  I don’t know about all THAT, but whatever.  I still had fun and it’s not worth the drama at this point.  Just have to be careful to keep myself emotionally distant.

Meeting cousin #3

casual in scarf

When I left you all, we were just getting in the truck to drive back to Mr. Host’s house, with a hillbilly couple who wanted to smoke some pot with him.  Me, I stopped smoking weed when I was 19, other than one time at a swinger party when I took a couple hits with a girl in her car.  So, not judging people who do and I don’t really care, but for the most part I avoid it these days.

I was definitely not feeling excited about sitting around while these people smoked up, especially after we got in the truck with them.  The guy was loud, annoying, and drunk.  The woman was nicer and more timid, but she had me rolling my eyes too.

They were sitting behind us and one of the first thing the woman says is “I’m scared”.  Okay, getting in a car with complete strangers, not knowing where you are going, can be scary, but it soon became apparent WHY she was “scared”.  Mr. Duck Dynasty starts talking about how they are “country” folk and not used to these “city” people.  Both he and his wife start hinting, but not actually saying out loud, that they are leery of Mr. Host because he is black.  EYEROLL…..

He reassured them that he is not like some of these “ratchet” people.  He was telling them what a “nice guy” he is and asking me to vouch for him, which I did, but was feeling pretty disgusted with it all.  They acted like he was some thug from the hood and he’s over here in a big old cowboy hat and cowboy boots, driving a nice truck, headed to a nice neighborhood with nice houses.  Dumb.

What made it even worse, is that if there was anyone “scary” in this vehicle, it was the hillbilly, biker dude.  He kept going on about things, like how he’d been in jail, his kid is currently locked up, and how he had all these people out to get him.  We stopped at a gas station for them to run in and get cigarettes and he was freaking out because there was a police car in the parking lot.  Mr. Host wouldn’t let him go inside, due to the way he was acting, and made him send his wife instead.

While she is in the convenience store, the man starts going on about how they have been together 24 years.  He said if anyone messed with his wife, he would kill him, stab him to death.  He described it in gruesome detail, but made sure to add “I mean if it were without my permission of course”. 

I wasn’t saying much and Mr. Host told them to crack the windows. “She doesn’t like the smoke”.  Yeah, and I didn’t like being around these people in general. 

As soon as we got back to the house, I went upstairs.  They were going to smoke in the garage and I really just wanted to go to bed.  I knew it would be a long time, by the time they finished and Mr. Host drove them all the way home.  I figured if he wants to sleep with me at this point, he is going to have to wake me up.

I was totally at “just screw this” and decided to wash off my makeup and get comfortable.  I changed into some purple satin pj pants and a matching camisole, no bra.  As I am walking out of the bathroom, I run into the woman.  She says Mr. Host sent her up here to check on me.

I told her I’m fine, just tired and going to bed.  There was a knock at the door and she freaks out again, saying she is scared.  I wasn’t scared, but I wasn’t about to answer it either, dressed the way I was.  I was hoping he hadn’t invited a bunch of people over to party.  I tried to call him on his phone but we could hear it ringing in the living room and he was out in the garage. 

She finally went downstairs to get him and I crawled into bed.  I could hear people talking, and the hillbilly man asking if Mr. Host could drive him home, so they wouldn’t have to call a cab. Mr. Host came in and asked why I didn’t tell him I didn’t want to hang out, claiming he wouldn’t have brought them home.

Apparently, vehemently stating I would not fuck that guy, wasn’t enough.  Then he tried to get me up to come with him when he drove them back.  I was lying on the bed on my stomach, ready to crash. I asked “can I just stay here?” and he finally said okay. He kissed me on the cheek and left.

I could hear voices in the other room as I started to drift off to sleep. A few minutes later, someone walks in.  It was a black man I had never seen before, dressed nicely, in a coat, hat and scarf.  I sat up. I had to strain a bit to see his face, in the light that was coming from the bathroom. 

He was cute. “Who are you?” I asked, as he started removing layers of clothing. “Mr. Host sent me here to take care of you, we didn’t want you to be scared all by yourself”.  He smiled and kept removing more clothing. “I’m Mr. Host’s cousin”.  I was staring at him, somewhat shocked but also turned on that this total stranger was obviously here to fuck me.  He had a nice body too.

I said “I’m totally being a bum, I don’t even have makeup on”.  He looked and me and commented “you don’t need makeup” as he hopped in bed next to me, in his boxers.  He pulled me up to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.  “You have nothing to be scared of, I am going to take really good care of you” he said, as he started to kiss me and let his hand slide down between my legs. 

Oh man, I’d better quit before this gets too long. I’ve got some stuff I need to do.  I’ll finish the story later. 😉

Dancing, drama, and a quickie (party #2)

inthemoodforaquickie

On the way to the second party of the night, the Host warned me that the old guy and his wife, who have been at all of his other parties, would be there.  I was a little leery as to why he was telling me this and asked if they were spending the night.  He said no, and that he knew I didn’t like the older man.  In hindsight, I’m going to guess that this was his way of letting me know he wasn’t planning on giving me much attention.

He dropped me off at a table with these people, as soon as we arrived, and the redhead girl from the former parties, and then barely spoke to me until it was time to leave.  I tried to be friendly, but they were decidedly unwelcoming.  The old guy didn’t even look my direction and the redhead didn’t say much.  The other girl, well, later I heard her talking ABOUT me, and about how I was going to move up there, but she wasn’t saying anything directly TO me.

Wow.  Okay.  I felt like we were in junior high or something.  I’m pretty sure there was some jealousy involved because the one girl was making a point of talking loudly about her relationship to the Host and how he said she was special to him and that her husband knew and accepted all of this.  I mostly just ignored them and went off to do my thing, though I did see them looking at me a few times when I was dancing with different guys.  They stayed sitting at the table pretty much the entire time, with the redhead sometimes sitting on the old guy’s lap.

Rather than worry about feeling excluded, I just talked with the Mexican girls at the next table over, who were nice, and got up and walked around.  I was making my way to the restroom, when I slipped and almost fell on something wet on the floor.  The people whose table I was in front of stopped to talk with me a bit and tease me about my mishap.

This guy looked kind of like Don Knotts.  His wife was blonde and cute though.  They were with another couple and they all said they thought I was Mexican, because I was over there hanging with the Mexicans.  It wouldn’t be the first time people have thought that either, lol.

They asked who I had come there with and I pointed out the Host, who was off talking with people.  The Don Knotts looking guy said “oh, I heard he is the ‘exception to the rule'” (wink, wink).  I’m pretty sure he was referring to his endowment, and I was thinking, I can’t believe he just said that, but played dumb, like I had no clue what he meant.  Mr. Host may not be that well endowed, but he’s pretty damn good in bed.  I’m sure as hell not complaining! Honestly, he’s just as good, if not better, than a lot of guys that are more so.

Shortly after that, a man asked me to dance.  He was a tall, slightly older, black man with a streak of gray in his hair.  I would  guess him to be in his late 40’s.  He said this was his first time at one of these parties and claimed not to remember having made a profile on the swinger site.  I’m not sure how he got in otherwise, though. 

We danced to a couple songs, then he wanted to go check out some of the rooms at the club.  They have public and private rooms where people can have sex.  I’d been to this place before with Mr. Motorcycle, but it was a different club and they were charging for private rooms.  This one, they were free.

He pulled me into a private room and closed and locked the door.  We took off our clothes and fucked on the couch.  He wore a magnum condom that I don’t think he needed and it lasted about 30 seconds, before he came.  We got dressed and left the room, pretending like nothing had happened. He later asked me to dance again and was raving about the “great time” we had together.

A few minutes later, I was walking near that same room and a Mexican guy aggressively grabbed and started kissing me.  I was pulling away and the Host walks out of the nearby room that is set aside for smokers.  He walked up to me and took my arm, telling the guy I’d talk to him “later”.  He said to me “see, I am always watching you, always looking out for you, I don’t miss a thing”.  I was thinking yeah, except for the fact that I just fucked someone in that same room like 5 minutes ago, lol.

So I sit down for a minute at our table and am sipping on my drink when a tall, biracial guy walks by and pulls on my hair.  I ignored him so he walks back and pulls it again.  I’m kinda giving him a “leave me alone” look, and look back at my drink,so he goes up to the redhead and does the same thing.  She ignores him and looks away too.  Then he walks up behind the woman that is all into Mr. Host and grabs her ass. 

She flipped and told him to back off.  Her husband comes charging at the guy and a bunch of people have to hold him back.  Mr. Host gets in the middle of it all and starts trying to talk to the mixed man, while the security guys are running in.  Presumably, he was explaining that this was inappropriate.  The guy was yelling but I couldn’t hear what Mr. Host was saying. 

It took seemingly forever and lots of talking, between this guy, Mr. Host and the security guys but finally this man was asked to leave the party.  As he is heading out to the parking lot, his girlfriend flips out, something about him having her credit cards on him, and punches him in the face! 

Everyone is standing there waiting to see if he would hit her back, but he kept his arms down at his side, even though they were screaming at one another.  Finally, she got into her car and took off.  I don’t know what he did after that, but he wasn’t allowed back in the club.

Back at the table, this girl whose ass he grabbed is going on about how her husband had her back but COMPLAINING about Mr. Host not getting upset enough.  WTF?  I’m thinking, if anything, he was overreacting.  He was way involved in the situation and really all the guy did was grab her ass.  I’ve had that happen multiple times at swinger parties and never made a scene about it.  He shouldn’t have, but really, after she said something, he backed off. So it didn’t need to turn into a 5 alarm emergency.  She was clearly enjoying all the drama and attention directed at her.

I drifted away from all the drama and a 27 year old white guy asked me to dance.  He was telling me he had never been to a swinger party before but had decided to come here when he was moping about his ex and thinking that she was probably fucking other people.  He said the idea turned him on and somehow that led him to decide to try a swinger party tonight.  I wasn’t into this guy but was listening to his story and basically humoring him.  He was okay looking, I just wasn’t that attracted.

We sat at a table, drinking for a few minutes and then he said something about wanting to look around so we walked past some of the public sex rooms.  He invited me into one and I was hesitant.  Mr. Host was standing a few feet away, with his back to me, talking to people and I was kind of hoping he would see and help get me out of this situation, but he didn’t. 

I was holding back and the guy was like come on, we can just go sit in there and watch.  There were a few couples in there but they weren’t doing anything more than kissing.  I reluctantly walked in the room with him and sat on the couch.  He didn’t try anything at first and I was watching the porn on the big screen and noticing that there were several single guys standing outside the door, staring (they aren’t allowed to come in unless they are with a woman or couple).  It was a bit creepy.  They were like hungry vultures, looking at some prey, lol.

I was using their staring as my excuse not to engage with this guy when he started trying to kiss on my neck.  I would pull away from him but he just kept going for it.  I noticed he had a quarter sized hole in the crotch of his jeans and I was like WTF?  lol  He pulled me on his lap and was kissing my neck and rubbing my shoulders. I was feeling really uncomfortable and it was obvious because one of the Mexican guys, who was standing in the doorway, later told me I really looked like I didn’t want to be in there.  He questioned “you didn’t like that guy did you?” when we were dancing. 

I finally said something about how I needed to go talk to Mr. Host and got up and walked out of the room, leaving the poor guy behind.  Mr. Host was in another room, talking and goofing off with one of the club owner’s wives, so I didn’t actually talk to him but sat down at our table. 

Her husband came up to me.  He said he remembered me coming to his club with the Pilot.  I was like “oooh, you are good, you even remember who I was with” and he said yeah, the Pilot is one of his friends.  I’m pretty sure, at the time, the Pilot had been talking about arranging something with these people, but the guy actually seems kinda shy.

Anyhow, his wife, and a bunch of the Mexican girls, wanted me to come out and dance, so I did.  A lot of dancing after that, the Mexican folks were a bunch of party animals, lol.  I danced with the girls, danced with different guys, danced on the pole with a bunch of girls, danced on a pole by myself and finally sat down, exhausted, in my chair.  So this Mexican girl comes over and gives me a lap dance, and all these guys are watching. 

She was asking if I wanted to come to their after party later and I said I wasn’t sure, I was just going wherever Mr. Host was.  Some of the other Mexican folks went over and talked to him and came back saying he was “definitely” coming to party with them, so I would be too.  It was like 3 in the morning and I was honestly pretty tired and not feeling in the mood for that but I didn’t say so.

Finally, Mr. Host comes over and asks me do I want to go with the Mexicans or just come back to his house for some “alone time”.  I was going to say “alone time” but then he asked me if I had “gotten mine” yet.  I said “a little bit” and he was like “a little??” I’m pretty sure he thought since I’d been gone a long time (with that white guy) that I must have been fucking someone.  I was, of course, referring to the 30 second fuck I’d had earlier, lol.

So he says hold on a minute and goes over to talk to these biker people.  He came back and said I tell you what, we are going to take them back to the house for “a little fun” and then we can kick them out and it will just be you and me.

 I took one look at these people and said “I am not fucking any of those guys”.  The guys had long, Duck Dynasty beards and fucked up teeth.  They were definitely not my type.  Mr. Host said “oh, no, I would NEVER expect you to do that” and that now I am going to find out about his “bad side”.  He said they were just coming over to smoke a little weed. He again joked about me getting my “30 seconds” later (if only he knew…)

I’m like, okay whatever and one of the couples comes along and gets in his truck with us.  Ugh.  I guess they didn’t have their own vehicle with them and had been drinking.  So I know he’s going to have to take them back home or something later too.  Plus, the guy was just obnoxious.

Anyhow, I’ll tell you all more about it later. 😉  I actually ended up having some fun later in the night, but I promise you it wasn’t with the biker, lmao! 😉

“I’m not like those other guys who just want sex…”

cuddling

I had a pretty chill Valentines Day this year. Mostly spent it with my kids but I was happy to hear from all the current guys from my life. Even Mr. Firm, who was off on a little romantic getaway with his girlfriend, remembered to text me, which put a smile on my face. It definitely helped combat the single-girl blues to know that there are a few guys who cared enough to say something. 🙂

The roads were finally clear enough for me to head to the city this weekend.  I had some business to do up there and the Host said I could stay overnight with him.  He said he had planned to go to to some swinger parties in another city and had three different couples lined up where he was supposed to have sex with the wife, but cancelled because of me. 

He claimed he would rather spend time with me and that we could go to some swinger parties.  He had reserved a hotel at one, then later decided we would go to two and “network” with some of the club owners in the area that he had spoken with.  They are working with him to help promote some of his parties.  He hopes to eventually open a club.

I got to his house around 8 pm and got ready to go out.  He stopped at the liquor store on the way and grabbed a couple bottles of wine.  He also brought along a couple of bottles of water, or so I thought, until I tried to take a drink out of one of them at the party and discovered it was vodka, lol.  I wasn’t the only one who made that mistake. 😉

Beforehand, he warned me that we were only going to spend a couple of hours at the first party, then we’d be going to a second.  He’d cancelled the hotel reservation and said if we brought anyone home it would be the club owners. 

The first party was the hotel one I once went to with Mr. Motorcycle.  It wasn’t near as packed as it had been the first time, but I did recognize a couple of familiar faces.  We put our coats and things down at a table with a couple of people. A woman I’ve met before came up to chat with me, while Mr. Host wandered off and was talking to people across the room.

When the woman left I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself.  I politely talked with the women sitting at the table for a minute but that was pretty boring.  Mr. Host seemed occupied, socializing, and I didn’t want to stand there looking like a dork.  I knew I didn’t want to be stuck at a table the whole time, like I was when I went to that party with Mr. Motorcycle, though.

Mr. Firm and I had actually talked about some of this beforehand and he had given me some advice.  He’d said to make sure and talk to the Host beforehand about boundaries and expectations, but I’d completely forgotten to do that (oops).  He also recommended getting a key to the hotel room myself if we got one (we didn’t) and that if he ignored me, not to just sit there but get up and do my own thing. 

I didn’t really know a lot of people there but I figured if I got up and walked around probably someone would say something to me.  So I went into the kitchen, where they had some hors d’oeurves. I was accosted by single guys who were standing around the food. 

One of the guys was the friend of the Pilot’s, whom he’d tried to get me to stay in a hotel room with, before our big blowout.  This guy had also danced with me at another party when I was with Mr. Motorcycle, but Mr. Motorcycle had wanted me to himself. He said his girlfriend was not with him this time, but that they were still really interested in getting together with me.  I already knew this because they had sent me a few emails, plus the Pilot had asked if I wanted them to have my number.  I’d told him no and not been answering them.

Anyhow, I was kind of trying to extract myself from the guy, when Mr. Host walked in and pulled me out, to introduce me to some people.  He was still following close on our heels and Mr. Host sort of gave him a look and he backed off.  We then went to talk with club owners. 

Mr. Host left me with them for a bit and was off doing his own thing across the room again.  So these good looking, white guys, who were visiting from Germany, approached me and we got into a long conversation.  They said they worked for the government and were American citizens but had been in Germany for 13 years and were only here for a few weeks on business.  They were telling me all about the swinger scene in Germany and I was pretty fascinated. 

They said they would love to have a threesome with me and that they had a big suite reserved at the hotel.  I told them I was here with someone and they asked who, so I pointed him out.  They said they were having a bunch of people over later to their room, including this couple nearby that they pointed out (very pretty woman and reasonably attractive man) and that he and I were both welcome to join them. 

After we’d been talking for a bit I notice that Mr. Host and some other guy are standing not too far away, watching us.  The other guy that had been trying to talk to me was standing not too far on the other side, watching us as well.  The German guys were like, “I see you have a fan club” …lmao.

So then Mr. Host walks right up between the guys and tells them that I am going to come with him for a minute and pulls me out to the dance floor.  I told him that the guys invited us to come back to their room later with a bunch of people and he says they aren’t even on the swinger site and just showed up here at the party.  We danced for a bit and then he was like “okay, now you can go back and talk to them again”.

I did for a bit but they didn’t mention coming back to their room again.  I was talking a bit with Mr. Host and some other people and this one black girl I have seen at some other parties (her husband is white) asks me if I know how to dance.  I was like “mmm..” and did a “so-so” motion with my hand so Mr. Host laughs and asks me to dance with him again.  Then afterwards the black girl pulled me out with her on the dance floor and said “quit lyin, I see you on that beat”.   We were playing around dancing for awhile and she later emailed me and wants to keep in touch.

I danced a little more with the Host but we didn’t spend a ton of time together.  He was teasing me about how I’d get my “30 seconds” (of sex) with him later and I’m saying “yeah right” but hoping he’s really joking, hahaha.  Because lord knows, I’ve had that experience a few too many times. 😉  He was also acting wild and crazy on the dance floor with this one black woman, who was down on her hands with her ass in the air and he is simulating like he is fucking her/at a rodeo and everyone is laughing at them. 

Mr. Host at some point told me that the D.J. at the party had seen and was asking about me.  He said “this guy really likes you”.  Sure enough, Mr. D.J. (a skinny white guy with a bunch of tattoos) was wanting to talk to me and telling me how gorgeous he thought I was and how he isn’t like the other guys and just here for sex.  Um, okay.

The Pilot’s friend found me again and said he saw me talking to the white guys and was going to “rescue” me because he knows my “flavor is not vanilla” but that he had decided to let me “flounder” for a bit.  Whatever, lol.  Then he wanted me to talk with him in a back room, beside the kitchen. 

He pulls me over there and tells me that he and his girlfriend really like me and that his girlfriend had told him that of all the women she’s seen at the parties I am the only one she would consider doing a bi thing with.  She doesn’t normally go for women, he said, but thought that I had “kind eyes”.  Then he goes on to tell me all about how he is “not like the other guys” and “just here for sex” (gosh, we’ve never heard that one before, now have we?  lmao).  He was like telling me all this stuff about how his girlfriend said he could find a girlfriend for himself and that he would like to help me move into my new house when I come to town and take my kids to air shows and it was like ooookay…hahaha

Mr. Host finally texted the guy and said that if I am with him, he is leaving the party.  So I hightailed it out of there, got my stuff and left with him to the next place.  While he was pulling up his truck for me, I was standing in the lobby talking to this woman who said she was there with some guy while his wife was with her “sub” because she is a dominatrix.  You meet the most interesting people in the lifestyle, lol.

I’m going to cut this short here and finish the rest of the story (the more exciting parts) later so it doesn’t get too long. 😉  Don’t worry, there is more to come.  I just think its hilarious that all these people at swinger parties try to act like they aren’t in it for the sex.  Mr. Host told me the EXACT SAME THING when we first met but when I brought it up on the drive to the next party, he pretended to think it was crazy that anyone would say that if they are in the lifestyle.  Oh yeah, and he was also “not like the other guys”….yeaaahh…neither is the guy I saw at the last swinger party, who found me on Plenty of Fish. Or so says his profile 😉

Cause I love you all ;)

Some love songs for you lovers out there! 😉 Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines Day!! 🙂

Isley Brothers-For the Love of You
Atlantic Starr- Always
J Holiday- Forever Ain’t Enough
Joe- No One Else Comes Close
K-Ci and JoJo- All My Life
Anthony Hamilton- Charlene
Kenny Loggins ft. Jim Messina- Danny’s Song
Musiq Soulchild- Dontchange
Ginuwine- Differences
Jon B. ft Babyface Someone to Love
Al Green- Let’s Stay Together
Teddy Pendergrass- Love TKO
Chi Lites- Oh Girl
The Dells- The Love We Had Stays on My Mind
The Jeff Healey Band- Angel Eyes
Bette Midler- The Rose
Ann Reno and Mike Wilson- Almost Paradise
R. Kelly- When a Woman Loves
Bon Jovi- I’ll Be There For You
Aerosmith- Angel
Jackson 5- I’ll Be There
Eric Clapton- Wonderful Tonight
Keith Sweat- I’ll Give All My Love to You
Aaron Neville- Crazy Love
Lionel Richie- My Love
The Deele- Two Occasions
Ready for the World- Love You Down
Luther Vandross- If Only For One Night
Rod Stewart- You’re in My Heart
Percy Sledge- When a Man Loves a Woman
Lupe Fiasco ft Ed Sheeran- Old School Love

Slightly scary swinger party

hillbilly-family

This weekend I went on what was basically a blind date, to a swinger party.  The guy who invited me was someone who found me last week on the swinger site. We had texted back and forth a little bit, but the only face picture I had seen of him, he was wearing sunglasses and standing at a distance. 

Really, the only reason I considered going with him was because my other plans for the weekend hadn’t worked out.  I had been kind of annoyed with his texting the week before.  He had asked me to drive and meet him over an hour away and I wasn’t going to all that trouble for a man I’d never met, especially when it was raining sleet and the roads were questionable to drive on.

So I turned him down on that offer and since he wasn’t willing to come my way either, we didn’t meet.  Still, he sent a few racy pictures.  One was of his LIMP cock.  I was like WTF?  He said “you need to make it hard” and I was thinking “you need to make it wet” and briefly considered sending him back a pic of a dry vagina, a desert, or maybe some sandpaper.

Kind of a rocky start.  Then he texted me on Friday night asking if I would attend a swinger party with him here in town.  Well, I didn’t have any other plans yet and two of the swinger parties I MIGHT have gone to weren’t going to happen, so I said yes.  I wanted to be doing SOMETHING fun.

Let me tell you a little bit about the other swinger parties and what happened there first.  Remember Mr. Host?  HE was having a swinger party too, but he didn’t invite me!!! He MENTIONED the party though, I suspect by mistake, the week before. 

He had wanted me to come see him because I was supposed to be heading that way that weekend and I decided against it due to weather.  After having recently gotten in an accident on the ice I am pretty leery of driving long distances when the roads might not be doing well, plus I have to cross several bridges on the way and those are kind of scary.

When I was 4 years old, we were driving across the country to Connecticut and hit a patch of ice on a bridge.  The car spun around several times and almost went over the edge of the bridge.  When it stopped, we were facing oncoming traffic.  That experience is still lingering in my mind.

Anyhow, I wasn’t driving.  Mr. Firm is up that general direction as well and his family was not feeling well, plus he didn’t think I should risk it.  Mr. Host, on the other hand, was irritated with me.  He later said “you could have made the drive”.  Yeah, and risk my life for you?  No thanks.  He’s just not THAT important to me, you know?  Plus, he could have made the drive down to see ME but didn’t even suggest that.

So he was like “I guess we can see each other at the party next week, but I really wanted some alone time with you”.  Party?  What party?  I said I hadn’t gotten invited to the party and he said oh, that the one guy who sent out the invites must have “overlooked” me.  PLEASE.  He is the host of the party and HAD to have double checked.  Plus, supposedly he wanted us to have a COUPLE profile and me to help him with them.  I sincerely doubt I would just be “overlooked”.  Whatever. 

I didn’t give him any drama about it.  It’s not worth my time and I don’t really care that much, but it is kind of insulting.  He doesn’t invite Mr. Firm, and now me.  The two coolest people at any of his parties by a long shot. 😉  His loss, lol.

The funny thing is he still wants to see me and have sex.  I can venture a few guesses as to why he didn’t invite me.  It may have something to do with the not so great interaction I had with his cousins the last time.  Possibly it could be due to the one woman who always wants to sleep in his bed and her feelings.  I wasn’t interested in sleeping with her husband (the old guy) and that could be a problem too.  Mr. Firm said the Host may even have a different woman he wanted to invite and spend the night with him, and that is a possibility too.

If that were the case, there really isn’t anything wrong with it.  It’s not like he and I are boyfriend and girlfriend or anything serious.  We don’t even text much outside of going to the parties, though he has talked repeatedly about wanting to spend a weekend with me or doing something alone.  He also has to pay my gas and that can get expensive.  The last time it was $50 and the time before he gave me $100.

Even after claiming I was overlooked, he didn’t bother to send me an invitation. So I am pretty sure he didn’t want me to come.  Only time will tell if he does in the future.  Meanwhile, I was invited to ANOTHER house party up that way. 

The other house party was being thrown by the brother of the first house party I ever went to.  He was a guy I had played just a little bit with there, in a sort of orgy situation.  We didn’t have sex but I think he fingered me, and I went down on his girlfriend.  According to him, his girlfriend was super jealous and wouldn’t let him fuck me.

He’s not a bad looking guy, but man, he turned out to be NEEDY as fuck, lol.  He was annoying the heck out of me over text and I finally had to tell him to quit.  Like, he was sending me zillions of texts.  He was demanding to know things like if this was going to be more than sex and callling me his “lover”.  I was barely responding.  Randomly, he would tell me things like “I am afraid of heights” and “I can’t swim” and I’m thinking duuude, it is way too early to be sharing this stuff.  Plus he even said he was “anxious”.  NOT a turn on.  I was totally afraid he would turn into a stalker.

All of this is moot anyhow, because the weather was looking iffy for the weekend so I again decided to stay in town.  This left me with fewer options and I said yes to the limp dick guy. Hey, at least I was going to a party.  Admittedly the guest list wasn’t looking too hot though.  There were a few “maybe” single guys but I wasn’t sure.

As requested, I showed up early, to his hotel room.  Thankfully, he was nice looking in person.  He is in the Army.  Gotta love the “service” of the area millitary base.  It’s always got a fair amount of good looking, in shape, fuckable men, which is more than you can say for this area in general. Ahhh…God Bless America. 😉

He wasn’t super talkative and I’m still thinking this guy is kind of an ass from our previous communications.  Still, he wasn’t bad.  We talked a little bit about the party and how it was going to go down.

 He let me know right up front he wasn’t cool with me getting with any single guys there.  He said it had to be an “even trade” and that if they didn’t have anything for HIM he wasn’t sharing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I’m used to being the bartering chip.  I warned him that there might not be a lot of people where I was interested in the male half of the couple. He said we should have a “code phrase” to use for trying to gauge that, so we made one up.

Pretty quickly after that we got down to business.  We kissed a little bit and he told me to take off my clothes.  With virtually no foreplay (and without a condom!) he just rammed it in.  I didn’t even have time to ask.  Part of my bane with some guys is that I am virtually always wet.  So they take this to mean I don’t need any preparation.  Not that I need a lot, but still.

He kind of took me by surprise and he was sort of rough.  He was ramming hard and fast.  Right at the end he asked me something that sounded like “are you going to cum?” I couldn’t quite understand him and asked “what?” and he repeated himself but it was still mumbled.  I was on the verge of having an orgasm, or so I thought, so I said “yes”.  Bam!  It was over.

 
He pulled out and wiped what looked like a drop of cum off the end of his dick.  OMG, did he just cum inside me???  I was freaking out.  I had been super wet already but it felt like he may have cum.  It had all been so fast, I wasn’t sure.

I got up to take a shower.  We didn’t talk much and I quickly glanced at the monthly cycle calendar on my phone.  I should have ovulated a few days ago, plus I was feeling super horny then, but it was cutting it close.  While I was washing my hair and body my thoughts were racing.  I needed to ask him to be sure.

I stepped out of the bathroom.  “Did you cum inside me?”  He said “yeah, you said I could”.  I said “I thought you were asking me something else”.  I said “I’m not on birth control” and he was like “are we okay then?”  I said I thought so but wasn’t sure.  Yikes.

THANK GOD though, when I got home, I was able to check my fertility monitor and it said I am not currently fertile.  I love that little thing.  It’s like a tiny microscope where you can check your saliva or cervical mucous and see where your body is at.  If you are fertile, you will see crystallization going on and if not, it just looks like tiny bubbles.  So I’m pretty sure I ovulated the other day and am in the clear.

A midwife gave me this device years ago, before I even got pregnant with my first child.  I was wanting to stop using birth control and go to natural family planning and this was the easiest, most awesome method ever.  Of course to use it for proper prevention of pregnancy you have to chart your cycles for a few months to make sure how many days in you are ovulating.  I have a general idea but my cycle has been kinda wacky lately.

For those that are curious, it is hard to find in the U.S. but the fertility monitor was made in Spain and is considered a 97% effective method of birth control, if used properly.  I was able to predict accurately when I got pregnant with each of my children using this device.  I still remember looking at it right after sex with my ex husband the time I got pregnant with my first child and seeing it completely covered with little microscopic “ferns”. 

Here is an article about it Holistic Birth Control and here is a picture Fertility Tester. It was the only one I could find, though you might be able to with more digging, find someone selling one elsewhere. Note that they won’t sell to the United States…hmmm..conspiracy?

There used to be some other similar devices on the market as well, but they looked different.  I suppose any microscope would do.  It’s a shame Americans don’t get more information about stuff like this.  Guess it wouldn’t make the pharmaceutical companies enough money.

Anyhow, I am pretty confident that I am in the safe zone.  Years of using NFP has taught me to be more in tune with my body and notice the signs.  I get really, really horny during ovulation, lol and that was earlier in the week. The confirmation of my fertility monitor makes me feel pretty good that I was right.  Still, I was kind of in shock and it threw me for a loop for a minute there.

Onto the party.  Hmmm…well, there weren’t a whole lot of attractive people there.  There were an unusual amount of elderly folks at this one.  We are talking full heads of gray hair.  My guess is that some of these people were in their 70’s.  Someone said the swinger party here that is usually for older people has closed down, so maybe that is why.

There were also lots of cowboy hats, country music and obese people.  Not too unusual in this area, but not really my style.  One of the highlights of the night was a naked jello wrestling match.  The women were maybe 350 lbs a piece.  The guy I was with said it reminded him of sumo wrestlers, lol.  One of the women had blinking lights attached to her nipples.  They were rubbing jello all over each other’s bodies and licking it off. He was not impressed and said that image would be hard to erase from his mind, lol.

With the party being kind of lame and people mostly sitting at tables, I was trying hard to cheer up my “date”.  He knew one other woman there, that he had slept with before and known for 5 or 6 years.  She danced with him once but left early.  Another woman was trying to hit on him, but as he pointed out, she had no teeth!  LOL

So I was flirty with him and he said I was the most attractive woman there, that no one else interested him at all.  We danced and kissed and made out a lot and he seemed to open up a little more.  There was only one other man there that I thought was a “maybe” though I didn’t say anything because he was single and never approached us.

What is funny is THAT guy hit me up on Sunday, over Plenty of Fish.  He had apparently emailed me once before because I could see the conversation but I had never responded.  I suck at answering people’s emails on dating sites and only do it once in a while, like if I have nothing better to do that night or the guy seems extra my type (like Mr. Firm).

 He said he saw me at the party but didn’t want to offend the guy I was with by talking to me.  Kind of funny, at a swinger party, but he was probably right.  At one point the guy I came with left for the restroom and he claims when he came back 6 men were talking to me and giving him dirty looks.  They were all old, overweight or unattractive so it wasn’t really a big deal, but he was being a tad possessive.

There was also this one guy at the party that people are always talking about.  The Professor had mentioned him before and I have spoken to the man and seen him in action at other parties, but he just doesn’t do it for me.  He’s some kind of doctor and constantly fucking one woman after another.  A lot of people seem really impressed, but he’s not my style.

We got pulled into the sex swing room because he was fucking the toothless woman and everyone was like “you have to see this”.  I don’t think my military friend was too impressed.  He was like this guy is on Viagra or something.  I’m amused by it but not really turned on.  The guy is like a jackhammer energizer bunny, going, going and going, really fast and hard and he does a lot of grunting.  Its fun to watch for a minute, just out of curiosity but I’m not a huge voyeur.  More of an exhibitionist ;).  I want to be in on some action (but not with him, lol).

At one point, the military guy pulled me into the hallway and said he wanted to fuck me there.   Then he changed his mind and we went into the women’s bathroom.  He had me bent over and was fucking me from behind.  He was still pretty rough, though he lasted longer and didn’t cum.  He said he didn’t want to cum there at the party and was saving it for later. 

We finally went back to our room around closing. We talked a bit with a woman in the hallway who was fairly attractive and he invited her back to our room but she and her husband were waiting on another couple. Husband came out and wasn’t hot, lol.  He didn’t even have to ask me about that one. 

The rest of the night was mostly us having sex.  It was a lot better this time and lasted way longer.  He bit me a lot though, hard, and left some bruises.  They aren’t hickeys but actual bruises and my shoulders hurt.  I think from him gripping them really tight.  There is a little, light, hickey on my neck but not really noticeable.

He kept saying no one had made him this hard in a long time and that he didn’t want to stop. 😉  It went on a looong time and was pretty hot, though he kept stopping when I was just about to cum, I think to prevent himself from doing so.  Finally, at the end I came pretty hard, and so did he, on my stomach this time, though he had the nerve to ask if he could cum inside me again! 

In the morning, after my shower, while I was at the mirror putting my makeup on, he came up behind me again wanting to fuck.  He was having trouble with his erection and said he thought it was due to being spent from the night before so I’m not even sure why he was trying, but okay.  I sucked his dick to get it ready and we had like a 30 second fuck before he again came on my stomach.  He never did go down on me.  Ah, well.

 I texted him after I got home to say I checked and my fertility thing says I’m not fertile so we should be okay.  He responded that was cool and said he had had a good time.  I’m not sure, at this point, whether or not I will ever see him again, but I guess time will tell.

 

 

Why do I “prefer” black men?

interracial couple in bed

This is one of those posts that has the potential to upset and offend just about everyone in some way or another, so I’ve been procrastinating, lol, but there have been a couple of times I said I would write it up.  So, here you go, in question and answer format. 

Most of these are real questions that people have asked at some time or another.  Don’t expect them to be politically correct and I can’t be responsible for other people’s thought processes.  Some, I find offensive too, but I’m going to attempt to answer them anyhow. I’m a big fan of DISCUSSING things rather than shushing people up and telling them they are wrong to ask. 

I’m writing it out in this manner because I think the assumptions people make can be really crazy and so far off from the truth.  Sometimes I understand why they might think a certain way and others I am just shaking my head.  Still, its not like everyone doesn’t wonder.  Maybe YOU were too afraid to ask ;). 

Ever since high school, I’ve been getting this:
Lovergirl, why don’t you ever date white guys?

Who says I don’t?  Why would they assume this?  Mostly it’s…white guys..who ask.  I guess its true, that even back then, the majority of the guys I dated were black.  Still, I’m a never say never kind of girl, especially when it comes to things like sex.  😉

Just for fun, I sat down and figured out the actual percentages for you.  Yeah, I was feeling like a nerd. 😉  This is the breakdown of guys I “count” as having had sex with (invoking the Bill Clinton clause-it doesn’t include oral).  Here are my pussy’s demographics:

Black- 75%
White- 13.23%
Asian- 1.47%
Latino- 2.94%
Mixed race- 7.35%

In every case the “mixed” group was a mix of black and white. 

Actually, the first guy I ever had sex with was white, followed by the second guy, who was Asian and then the third, who was black.  Bam! Bam! Bam!  Got that out of the way as soon as I could, hahaha. 😉  I’m playing. I honestly didn’t even think about it at the time, though now it is kind of cool to be able to say I’ve tasted the rainbow. 🙂

Anyhow, we’ve established that its not “never”.  I’ve always been kinda bugged by people who say they would “never” date someone of a different race, but it’s even more weird when you apply that to your own!  How can you block out an entire race of people from your sexual realm of possibility, and how lame is it to discount your OWN freaking race??  WTF??

Honestly, it bothers me when I hear black men say they won’t date black women and I fully understand why some black women get pissed.  The other day at the swinger party where I was talking with two women, a white guy (the one I had just given a blow job to, actually) walked out the door and they both commented that he was cute but they couldn’t fuck him.  The one girl said “I just can’t do white guys anymore” and the other agreed.  They were both white.  I kept my mouth shut but inwardly I was rolling my eyes.

HOWEVER, that said, I clearly do have a preference.  My general preference is black men.  That is USUALLY what I am attracted to.  It’s actually a very strong preference, as you can see from my numbers above.  I sometimes don’t want to admit it, like when the Professor was looking at my swinger site emails and noticed “you don’t even open the white guys’ mail!” That wasn’t entirely true though, I just hadn’t opened MOST of their mail, lol.

Is it because you hate your dad and are trying to get back at him?

This one is kind of entertaining.  Because, well, I didn’t really know my dad until I was a teenager and in the meantime, I had three stepdads.  The first one was white, the second was from South America and the third was black. 

I hated my third stepdad, and still do, but the last way I would try to “get back” at him would be to date black men.  So, hopefully that answers the question as to whether I would date that way because I was “close” to my stepfather too.  NOPE. 

If my black stepfather had been my only exposure to black men and I was one to assume they were all like him, I’d be a racist bitch.  It didn’t happen that way though, thankfully.  Maybe because I was around enough OTHER family members, who were also black, to not make those kinds of assumptions.

I always felt like I was treated like part of the family, for the most part.  While some of his family weren’t too keen on the fact that he was married to a white woman, they didn’t take it out on ME, because I was a kid.  I was just thrown into the mix with the zillions of cousins running around and really no one seemed to think much of it.

Is it because black guys have bigger dicks?

I’ve gone over this one in my post Big Black Men, Is it True?  So if you haven’t read that, head over there.  The answer is no.  That really has nothing to do with it at all.  When white guys tell me they are “black below the belt” it doesn’t turn me on.  I’m just shaking my head.

Is it because you fucked black guys at a young age and “once you go black you never go back?”

Again, I am a never say never kind of girl, remember?  Even after sleeping with a lot of black guys, I went away to an almost totally white college and guess who I fucked there?  White guys!  In fact, that is where I met my ex husband, who was white.

I get this question more from black men than white ones, actually.  What was really entertaining was after I first met my ex husband and went back home for the summer. 

When I first came back, some girlfriends and I went over to this guy’s house.  There were probably like 15 people over there hanging out.  Maybe 5 girls and 10 guys, all of whom were black (except me).  One of the guys asked who I was dating and I told them about my ex.

He thought that was crazy and announced “Lovergirl is dating a white dude!!!” Soon, the attention was all on me, while he and a few of the other guys grilled me right and left and totally made fun of that fact. 

He was like “you aren’t really dating a white guy, you can’t date a white guy! Once you go black you NEVER go back”.  The girls had to jump in “how can you tell her she can’t date a white guy??  She’s white!  You act like she’s black or something!!”  He asked “what’s his name?” and I told him his name and he starts busting out laughing and all the guys are “that is such a white name, hahahaha”.  I said “he’s white!” lmao “what do you expect??  You want his parents to give him a black name?” hahaha

The teasing went on for awhile, with the guys telling me he was probably cheating on me and me saying “no he isn’t”.  The girls were like “he’s not cheating on her!  He’s white!!”  and the guys were saying he was probably doing so right at that very moment.  :p  Then they threatened to call my ex boyfriend, the crazy drug dealer one, and tell him the news.  They were pretending to pick up the phone and I was all “go ahead!!  Why would he care, I’m not talking to him anymore anyway”.   

The whole thing ended with the guy whose house we were at telling me I “even look more white” and pretending to sneer at me, lmao.  Then he was like “you’ll be back…wait”.  Hahaha  I guess I can’t argue about that. 😉

Hold on, wait.  You have sex with all these black guys and then the guy you chose to MARRY was white?  Is this some sort of latent racism?  Did you think he was better marriage material and a better person to make babies with because of his whiteness?

No.  It wasn’t because he was white that I married him.  I actually always wanted to have a biracial baby, because of my little brother and sister.  When they were born I was a young teenager and took care of them all the time.  I thought they were the cutest things on earth and adored my younger siblings.  I totally wanted a mixed race baby, lol. 

However, I DID think my ex husband was completely different from all the other guys I had been with and more “marriage material”.  So this question gave me a pause for just a minute.  Why did I think that?  Was it more than just the fact that he had been the one to ASK me to get married or that his parents kind of pressured us in that direction?  I never dated any black guys whose parents were pressuring them to marry a white girl, btw, lol. 

If there was ONE stereotype I think I had in my head at the time regarding black men, it was that “black men always cheat”.  I know that this is probably unfair, and of course not always true, but it is what it is.  I’d grown up with that imbedded into my brain, mainly from black women!  Not to mention I’d had quite a few experiences of being cheated ON by black guys, including 3 who impregnated someone else whilst we were dating.

I didn’t want to marry someone who would cheat on me.  So I think in some way that probably DID factor into my decision at the time.  Now that I’m older and wiser I’d say everyone cheats, or they will, if they have the option.  If they have the option and don’t think they would get caught, years after being married…I suspect MOST men AND women, would cheat, black or white.

Shortly before I actually ended up cheating on my ex husband, I was emailing back and forth with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time on MySpace.  She is biracial and has 5 kids with like 5 different dads.  She was relaying a story of one of the dads, who had asked her to marry him and got her to come to another state and even gave her a ring, before she discovered that he was ALREADY married and had given her his current wife’s ring!  Nuts. 

She said “you’re lucky, you married a white guy, you don’t have to worry about him cheating on you”.  She went on to lament that she could never date a white guy herself.  I guess I’ll never know if my ex actually cheated on me but he did eventually fall in love with someone else, so there goes that theory down the drain!

Anyhow, sometimes I kind of wish I had married a black man.  For all the negative press black men get, I’m virtually always impressed by what great fathers the guys I see are.  I mean,  they go over and above, and I am so sad for my own children that they don’t have that.

I think a lot of black men, these days, make it a HUGE priority to be a good dad.  It’s like all their lives they have seen the negative effects in the black community and all the stereotypes and go completely the opposite direction.  I wish someone had drilled this into my ex husband’s head while they were knocking him over it with the Bible.  Sigh…

You must have a sexual “fetish” for black men.

I don’t think that is the case.  It’s true that I am more physically attracted, usually, to black men.  Why that is, I can’t say for sure.  I can say that there are plenty of black men I am NOT attracted to and that the ones I am, tend to fall into a very specific “type”.  So like any other “type” that a person has, mine is black men that fall into whatever attraction template I have.  Actually, I think I have a couple.  Most of the guys I see, look or act, in some way, like a man that I have liked previously.  I guess that is part of my natural selection bias.

I also prefer black men to date, not just for sex.  I tend to feel a lot more comfortable with black men and have more in common.  Maybe that is due to not having been around as many white guys growing up.  Even when I had the South American stepfather, most of the families we associated with were not white.  I sometimes have a harder time relating to white guys, despite being white myself.

Even with my ex husband, I never really felt “close” to him, whereas a lot of times I can talk better with black men and feel more understood.  Maybe it is because I don’t really have the same cultural background as most white men.  When I went away to an all white, country, college, it was actually kind of a culture shock for me.  The music, movies, and general attitude that I grew up with veered more towards black than white.  Not that I didn’t have white friends or go to predominately white schools, because I did, but at home it was different.

So what is it that you like about black men and why do you think you choose them?

This is the hard part, because I can’t write it without admitting to having some stereotypes.  I like to think I don’t, but I guess we all do to some extent, like it or not.  Here is the deal though, I have certain traits that I like and have come to look for in men.  In my experience, it is much EASIER to find what I am looking for in a black man. 

What I think it boils down to, is that I percieve black men as being more “Alpha” in general.  Before the white guys get too upset and disagree, let me explain.  It’s not that white guys don’t sometimes have “Alpha” characteristics or that ALL black men fit the description. It just seems, in our culture and at least, here in the U.S., that with white guys it’s something like 20% of the population versus 80% of black men.

Let’s say, for example, that I am looking for a man who is dominant in bed.  I go on a sex site and find 10 black guys and 10 white guys.  Probably 8 of the black men are going to fit that description, but only 2 of the white guys.  Since the majority of the population is white (and especially where I live now), if I just focus on the black men, I can get what I want a LOT faster and not have to filter through zillions of passive white dudes.  Plus, because there are few black men in this area, I have an even smaller group to narrow it down to.

Ever feel like you are totally overwhelmed at Walmart because there are sooo many choices to pick from, for something as basic as shampoo?  It’s like I don’t even know where to start and I don’t want to try each one to figure out if it (he) is what I am looking for.  Would be much faster to run around the corner to the place that only sells a few salon brands. 

Anyow, that might be a bad analogy because I usually do just grab a Walmart shampoo, lmao, and I like to try different ones. 😉  But hopefully, I’m making SOME sense. 

What are the traits that you associate more often with black men, that you like?

Well, we have established the more dominant part.  I think that tends to be true, both in and out of the bedroom.  Now get ready for the massive generalizations, but I find them to be mostly true in my experience.

In general, black men that I meet, are more likely to have some of the following characteristics:

Dress nicely (white European guys do this but in the U.S., white guys tend to think this is “gay”)
Take good care of their physique or are “athletic”
Meticulous hygeine
Clean freaks (I love this and you rarely come across black men that are slobs)
LIKE to talk about relationships, and sex (for some reason white guys don’t seem as interested in this a lot of times)
Less judgemental
More complimentary
Less emotionally reserved and more willing to talk about feelings
More protective
More of a gentleman in how they treat women
Less critical
More supportive, emotionally
Put more emphasis on family and ties to friends

AND…what I know you really want to know…IN the bedroom

More emotionally expressive and PASSIONATE
More appreciative of my body
More dominant and commanding
More sensual and “romantic”
Care more about my pleasure in a non-supplicating way
Less selfish
More experienced

OF COURSE-

There are plenty of lame black men out there too, but I do seem to be able to find what I am looking for more often and I do love the color contrast of dark skin on lighter skin in bed.  I’ve been with a couple of white guys that were good in bed but they didn’t open up as much.  I’ve also had a disproportionate amount of one night stands with white guys.  It’s like they are quicker to hit it and quit it or think of you as “slutty” afterwards. 

My other deal with the white guys I have come across on dating sites is that they seem to go to extremes.  It’s like they are either super passive or they go crazy with it and take “dominant” to mean rough, aggressive and MEAN, which I hate.  I once put out a Craigslist ad looking for a “freak” in the bedroom.  It was like all the black guys knew exactly what I meant but the white guys were talking about totally off the wall shit, involving all kinds of props and stuff that I would never want to do.  I don’t know, maybe that’s just part of the communication barrier I was talking about earlier.

I know some of you all are probably chomping at the bit by now, but these are just my observations, experiences and feelings.  Thoughts?