I hope you all had as great of a Thanksgiving as I did! I love being able to see my family on the holidays plus was extra thankful this time to get to see Mr. Firm! He lives 30 minutes away from where I was visiting and we were able to make it work on a whim. He drove up shortly before he was set to leave out of state himself and got a cheap motel.
MMMmmmm….he is SO GOOD in bed!! He’s right up there with the Professor, maybe even better, though without the same emotional component. Skill wise he may be the closest I’ve ever had to the married man, and since he’s apparently gone, I’m VERY thankful Mr. Firm is still around!!
I don’t mean to imply the sex isn’t emotional, because it is, I just know where the boundaries lie and it stops outside the bedroom. He’s got a regular relationship and seems very skilled at maintaining that while still being awesome with me. I love it. I wish every guy could be like that. It would make the whole open relationship thing go a lot more smoothly.
Mr. Firm has been really cool. He’s extremely low drama and unlike other men who say they “don’t do drama” he seems to really mean it, lol. I asked if he’s ever had trouble with that in the lifestyle and he said once with a married woman who was crossing inappropriate boundaries but that he “shut that shit down real quick”. He says that one of the reasons he likes sleeping with married women in the swinging lifestyle is that if they get out of hand he can just tell their husband’s to come and get them. Haha…
Anyhow, he’s been doing this for years and I am really appreciating his wisdom and advice regarding some of my recent incidents with men. He’s very good at detecting bullshit and pointing out inconsistencies in people’s stories. I’m sure his working at a law firm helps with that!! LOL Plus he doesn’t get jealous and I feel like I can trust him to be real with me, rather than just try to elbow out the other guys.
If he wasn’t already in a relationship I think I would totally fall for him. Yet he is, and because of his attitude towards that and towards me and because he doesn’t lead me on I can respect that. We have amazing sex and he says I fuck him just the way he needs. I was like ” I wish it could be more often, but I’ll take what I can get ” and he said him too, but that it makes him appreciate me even more. 🙂
I’m not sure I would have been able to get rid of Mr. Motorcycle without his support. I told him all the stuff that had happened and he sat there and pointed out each obvious lie that Mr. Motorcycle tried to confuse me with and each way he had tried to manipulate me, from promising gifts to telling me that he’d spent the whole weekend trying to tell me he was “falling in love” with me when he was called out on his repeated disappearances. Then he claimed he was manscaping “for the first time” in the hotel. Mr. Firm said it doesn’t take that long to manscape anyhow and I found pictures he had sent me before we even met where he was totally shaven. Eyeroll…
Basically what Mr. Firm did was put words to all those nagging feelings and red flags I had been seeing. He voiced that he seemed like he was trying to control me and that he’d come across men like that before and it never ends well. I knew he was right of course but on my own have a tendency to be too nice and wait it out until someone does something really awful before cutting them off. He predicted the way he would act afterwards correctly but kept encouraging me not to fall for any of it. He was like you are really NICE and I love that about you but some people will take advantage of that and really try to get you to bend (which I have found to be very true). So far I’ve been holding strong and believe me Mr. Motorcycle is still trying. He even sent me some weird picture for Thanksgiving, that looks like two dragons kissing in the shape of a heart in the sky. WTF?
Then when this situation came up with the Referee he was totally awesome. I told him all the facts of what happened and he helped me pick it apart. Even better was that I got an apology letter during the time he and I were talking, from the couple that the Referee had ditched me for. I sent it to him and he pointed out several obvious lies and differences from what the Referee had told me. I could see a lot of them for myself but it helps to have someone else letting you know you aren’t just being a bitch!
Here is the letter, supposedly written by the female half of the couple and sent to me on the swinger site via email:
hey there sexy girl I wanted to apologize for Saturday night for me cussing at you that was inappropriate and that is not like me to do that . I was irritated with my boyfriend for getting very drunk and I was the one having to drive home and a neighborhood and an area that I am not familiar with . we did not even know that (the Referee) was going to be in town until that afternoon we were out having drinks and he met up with us we didn’t even see him until about 5 o’clock that day we were unaware of any plans that he had to meet up with you . so he was not with us Friday night or at all saturday day . so I hope you accept my apology and hopefully we can see each other again sometime . :
It ended with a “kiss”. At first reading I was even a tad skeptical. I mean, how is this woman who I never met other than her cussing me out going to start out calling me “sexy girl”? Even more telling though was “her” comment that they did not know the Referee would be in town until 5 pm. That’s kind of hard to claim when I have texts from him at 10:30 am saying they had invited us to stay the night at their place.
Not to mention little things like who spends 3 hours at dinner at a restaurant? And the Referee told me that evening all he had eaten all day was “6 pieces of shrimp”. That’s a long ass time to be sitting there not eating food. As Mr. Firm pointed out, it wasn’t hard to find their way around the neighborhood either. Three adults in the car, three gps’s on their phones, and they managed to get “lost” for over an hour after the party? Give me a break!! I live out of town and had absolutely no trouble. This isn’t in a confusing neighborhood, it’s right off a main road.
Also, they bring up Friday night and early Saturday. I never asked or implied that he was with them then. The only reason I think they might think I would care is because he told me that morning he had told them I was his “girlfriend”. No, I was simply pissed at being stood up outside the hotel. I was lucky I even got into the room.
Also, the Referee claimed that he and the “husband” (who I guess was a boyfriend) were together at the restaurant and that the wife didn’t show up until later. He said that she showed up at the last minute. The Referee also said he had ridden with this couple in their car because he didn’t want to drive his vehicle if he had been drinking. Yet I am supposed to believe he got in a car with people who had been drinking for 3 hours prior to going to the party?
There were just so many other little details but I don’t have time to type it all out. The library closes in 8 minutes and my laptop is sent away to be fixed again. In any case, I am glad to be rid of the Referee. He is so full of shit it’s not even funny. He had the nerve to text me a Happy Thanksgiving too and I simply ignored it.
Mr. Firm and I think most likely what happened was that the Referee was trying to help out the boyfriend of this couple, or at least pretending to, by making him think he had a chance at sleeping with ME. So that he could get to fuck both me and the female half of this couple in one night.
The sad part is, if he’d not been such an ass he probably quite easily could have. He could have shown up at the hotel on time, taken me to the party as planned, and after a little drinking and socializing it is very likely the female half of the couple and I would BOTH have been likely to sleep with him there, or he could have even just slept with HER while I was off having fun and gone back to the hotel with me later as planned. Seems like he went way out of his way to make things more complicated than they should have been.