The conflicted married man


Many times on this blog I have mentioned the man that was the best sex of my life.  If you recall, he is married, but I didn’t realize that at the beginning.  We met for what was supposed to be a one night stand, which turned into a little more. 

It’s been over a year since I saw him last but we still keep in contact.  He often asks me to meet up at times that are inconvenient or impossible.  Other times we set up plans and he flakes out.  If it were anyone else I probably would have been done a long time ago, but he is A-MAZING and I let things slide.

I figure he’s married and I know that it is hard to plan, especially with him living a few hours away.  Nevertheless, it gets annoying at times, being cancelled on.  Still, we are talking about a man, who within minutes of meeting me, off Craigslist, at a hotel, managed to make me cum REPEATEDLY, like 50 times in an hour and a half time period.  This, after me having NEVER been able to cum with another man before in my life!!  He’s like some kind of superhuman sex God, I’m not even kidding!!  After that it just got better!!

We’ve actually only met up a couple of times.  The rest of it has been this flaky, weird behavior with him that I keep talking about.  Married man shit.  Yet, we text, he asks me about the guys I meet and the swinger parties, and of course wants an occasional picture.  Once his wife caught him texting me and that was a problem.  Still, 3 weeks later he was contacting me again and even added me on Facebook. 

He’s cool, I like him, but it is not an emotional thing, other than right after having sex because he does tend to affect me.  He was talking crazy, with this stuff about me moving into one of the houses he owns, having his baby and paying me 3,000 a month to do so.  I thought at first he was just saying that because we were so into the sex and it was part of a fantasy, but he has brought up me moving there at other times and again said things about wanting to get me pregnant.

On Facebook, and from the things he has told me about his life and kids, he appears to be the ideal, upstanding, church-going, family man.  His wife posts cutesy pictures of the two of them together and tags him in it.  She is pretty and seems sweet from all I can see.  The kids are adorable and one is actually from another mother, who oddly enough is now dating a guy I went to high school with!  So I see their pics on there too, lol. 

Anyhow, that’s the backstory.  He makes good money and travels a lot for his business. He lives a few hours away in a big city, but when we originally met he was here for some sort of convention. 

A couple of days ago he texted me saying he had plans to see a client in a town that was about an hour from here.  He had deliberately scheduled it at the end of his day hoping to see me before he had to head home. Letting me know a day in advance is an improvement on his usual “hey I am in xyz town can you be here in a couple of hours” type texts. I said I would check and see if my ex would take the kids and if so, sure I would try and meet up.

It all worked out and I gps’d it and was heading his direction.  He’d made sure to check with me ahead of time and warn me that he would be in meetings and unable to answer the phone until after that was over but said just start driving.  He wanted me to come earlier but I wasn’t able to head out until after my ex came home at 6. 

I was on the road, on a highway I’ve never taken, when he called to ask where I was at.  He said not to meet him there after all but in a different city, that he thought was closer.  I was familiar with the second city but was going completely in a different direction, well parallel, to it.  Unfortunately I had driven a ways before we figured that out.  It was dark, my gps on my phone kept saying it couldn’t access data and neither one of us knew for sure where the hell I actually was.

I finally got it to take me back to the familiar highway that would get me to the city he wanted to meet up in, but I had to drive 22 miles to get there, on some scary, dark, back roads.  Did I mention I was wearing heels?  Not just heels, but heels and a bra and panties, with a trench coat, per his request.  I did bring some other clothing but had mostly stripped it off due to the cold sweat I had broken out in from all the stress of being lost in the dark.  I was also without ANY kind of phone service for the 22 miles I was on that road.  Ugh.  I was driving around all these curves, in heels and lingerie, terrified, in the dark, on some back country road in the middle of nowhere. 

NO ONE else could have gotten me to do this, lol.  I swear.  He is just way too freaking good in bed!!  Still, I was a tad irritated.  Then I finally get to a city I recognize and am finally able to call him. It turns out I have BACKTRACKED on that freaking highway.  I’m only about 15 miles out of town and still need to drive almost an hour more.  Sigh….

I asked if it was getting too late, if he still wanted me to come.  He vacillated a bit because he wanted to get home at a decent hour, but said he REALLY wanted to fuck me.  I kept driving.

Finally, I arrive in the parking lot off the highway, where he is waiting in his car.  I get out, in my trench coat and heels and walk over.  He lets me in and I ask where he wants to go now.

He says “there is something we need to talk about”.  Oh God, this doesn’t sound good.  What could it possibly be?

His wife had just called him, telling him she loves him.  Now he is feeling guilty.  He doesn’t think he can do this.  He didn’t used to feel guilty but he had promised her and God that he wouldn’t do this anymore and now here he is and she calls to tell him she loves him.

I say it’s ok.  I understand and I am not mad at him.  He apologizes.  Then he just stares at me.  “I want to fuck you so bad”.  “God, I want to fuck you so bad”.  He grabs my hair and keeps staring, lustfully, and stroking my head.  He goes in for a kiss, then pulls away, looking guilty.  “I can’t do this”. 

I said it’s ok.  He says he wants to fuck me so bad but he promised and he needs to be a better man.  He keeps apologizing and says he will fill my tank up with gas.  I said it’s ok, I don’t want you to hurt anyone or feel guilty.  I’m not mad at you.  He keeps staring and staring at me.

Then, suddenly he starts driving.  I was like “where are we going?” and he wouldn’t answer.  The look in his eyes was almost crazy.  I asked again and he said nothing, making me start to freak out inside.  It was dark and he was driving me towards the woods.  I was like “where are you taking me?” and he pulled over in a dark parking lot corner near the woods. 

He started kissing me and pulled open my coat.  His mouth went down to my nipples and he started sucking on them.  Then he pulled away and looked guilty again.  “I can’t”.  He said he wanted me really badly but he loves his wife. I said it’s okay, I understand.  I’m not mad.  You can take me back to my van.

He kept apologizing as we drove back and had me follow him out to the gas station.  He put about $25 in my tank and asked if that was enough.  I said it was and he said “I’m sorry” and that he felt bad having me drive all the way up there.  I said it was okay and he looked at me again before turning away to walk in the convenience store.

I drove off and halfway home texted “goodnight :/”.  He said “sorry” and when I got all the way back I said “sometimes temptation is hard to resist”.  He was most likely home with his wife by then, and never responded.

Sigh.  I really wanted to fuck him.  But I also feel bad.  I’m not trying to be a homewrecker or tear apart anyone’s happy family.  I really do think he loves her and she is probably a great wife.  From what I gather I think he has most likely been a serial cheater, though he did say it’s been a long time since he did anything. 

I struggled a little bit, feeling rejected, but I know and understand his reason.  Still, a big part of me wanted to tempt him to fuck me again anyway.  The other part is going “awww….how sweet, he’s such a good guy” and partly feeling guilty for leading him astray. 

I wonder if I’m ever going to hear from him again?  Can he really keep it up, resisting temptation?  He told me when we first met that he thinks he is a sex addict.  He said “you are too, aren’t you?  I can tell”.  According to him, he’s never met a woman like me, that was already such a freak before meeting him, though he claims he’s turned others out.  He couldn’t believe I just walked up to his hotel room to fuck after communicating on Craigslist and said he’d never expect that from a woman of my caliber and looks. 

Anyway, I’m a tad bit torn.  I want him to be happy and not feel so guilty but again I don’t want to give him up!  I know his wife would never leave him in a million years.  He’s too good in bed, makes good money and is a good dad.  A woman’s dream.

 Ladies, if you ever want to keep a guy from cheating, now you know.  Let him know you love him and make him feel guilty.  Seems like it works better than anything else I know of.  He said before he didn’t used to feel guilt about it.  Now he does.  I’m guessing they must be trying to work on their relationship, maybe with counseling or something.

Anyhow, that’s where we are at.  I hope if he ever decides to cheat again though, that it is with me.  I won’t interfere if he is doing what he believes is right but if he changes his mind I am not going to fight that either!  I couldn’t, he is just too darn good!!  I guess he has been living vicariously through me a bit with the stories of my life and parties and all that too. 

Now I know why he is so darn flaky.  I hate the guilt.  Yet I really do understand.  I felt that way too, at times, when I was cheating on my husband, even though I felt it was with good reason.  It took me awhile to come to terms with it all. 

I felt a little resentful that he seemed to be putting me in the role of evil, seductive, temptress but I have to remember he is deeply entrenched in Christianity too.  He is the moral, upright, kind of guy you see in church every Sunday and Wednesday night.  Kinda like my ex husband.  Yet the sex, OMG, I have never felt so much passion out of someone in my life.  He said he felt the same way about me.  I wonder if he will cave?



9 thoughts on “The conflicted married man

  1. All I gotta say is that if he was so deeply entrenched in Christianity, moral, and upright, you would have – should never have – found out what it’s like to have sex with him.

    Still, it’s great that you did get to experience it with him – it lends some cred to the thought that if a woman wants to have some damned good sex, go find a guy that’s married.

    I’ve learned over the years that when there’s a battle between one’s lust and one’s sense of duty/morals, lust usually wins… but not all the time. See, I would have been telling you, “I can’t…” even when I was in the middle of doing it – but that’s just me…

    • Yes, I will agree to that, but it is the image he puts forth. He also was telling me how I needed to not give up on God and be in church, that same first night we met off Craigslist in a hotel, AFTER we had sex. I think it’s that belief that is making him feel so bad about himself for his sexual desires. Well, that and of course fear of hurting his wife, which is legit.

      If nothing else, I am SO thankful I met him!! I would have had no idea just how wonderful sex can really be. I also think that experience opened me up to be able to orgasm with other men, and vaginally, which I had never mastered before him. He gave me the best oral sex I have ever had too.

      It does seem like married or taken men have an extra measure of passion. Plus most times they are awesome in other ways too, hence the reason a woman still wants to be with him! Mr. Firm is taken too and he is my second favorite! They are both taken but also still having sex and with others so that part probably makes a difference too. Those serial cheater types attract a lot of women for a reason. I’ve said before I would totally fuck Tiger Woods, after all that scandal came out. He never even registered on my radar before that but DAMN, he must be good in bed!! ;):)

      You don’t think you could have resisted huh? ;):) Is it bad that I kinda hope he fails at this particular endeavor? I so want to fuck him again!! 😛

      • There comes a time, my friend, when morals – being the good things we need them to be – wind up taking a back seat to the pleasures of the flesh. Not very Christian, I know, but hell, I’ve been with one woman in particular, knew we had no business screwing each other’s brains out and loving each other at a dangerous level.

        You know it’s wrong; you know you could lose everything you’ve worked for as far as your marriage goes and it could destroy her marriage as well… but, damn. You know you should resist and you also know that you can never resist… and we didn’t and to this very day, neither of us regrets what had to happen between us and, yeah, morality be damned.

        That woman taught me the true meaning of chemistry, a pull that’s so strong and powerful that logic and common sense cannot overcome it and you are compelled to do what you know you shouldn’t be doing. So, yeah, I know what it feels like and, you bet your ass, I would have screwed your brains out even as I was telling myself – and perhaps you – that I shouldn’t be doing it. I just might go back to doing what’s right and that which is expected of me… but I wouldn’t want to go back and then have to move forward with the regret of not experiencing you that one last time hanging over my head! Shit, I would have hated myself for not doing it!

        Is it bad that you hope he fails? Yes and no because if you cared for him in any way, you really don’t want to see him do badly even if what’s he doing takes him away from you but at the same time, you hold out the hope that if things don’t work out right for him, you can have another 50 orgasms with him.

    • Yes, he and I have the strongest sexual chemistry I have ever experienced. Its crazy. Just sitting there talking to each other, not so much but the sex was insane, like an out of body experience. I’d say he was just that good, and he is, but I know there is more to it because he said the same things about me.

      Its weird, but just from the experiences i have had with him and what i know about him on a personal level, I can tell we are a lot alike. I totally do understand his sense of moral conviction and guilt. I couldn’t push him to change his mind because i know that is something he has to come to terms with by himself.

  2. All I gotta say is that if he was so deeply entrenched in Christianity, moral, and upright, you would have – should never have – found out what it’s like to have sex with him.

    Still, it’s great that you did get to experience it with him – it lends some cred to the thought that if a woman wants to have some damned good sex, go find a guy that’s married.

    I’ve learned over the years that when there’s a battle between one’s lust and one’s sense of duty/morals, lust usually wins… but not all the time. See, I would have been telling you, “I can’t…” even when I was in the middle of doing it – but that’s just me…

    • Nomad, I wish I knew how to describe it. I have tried a few times and written about it in some of my blog entries, attempting to put words to what happened with him. When I was posting on the forum I also tried to describe it there.

      The best I can say is that he and I not only had amazing chemistry, but he knew exactly what he was doing with my body. He had promised to fulfill my every fantasy and I told him not to get his hopes up about bringing me to orgasm.

      Once we got past the initial awkwardness of being with a stranger and he set the mood and lighting to where I would feel safe, he turned into a beast! He was incredibly dominant in bed and also very giving. He had me pinned down and unable to move, in a variety of positions, where I was unable to do much of anything but give in to the orgasms he was giving me.

      He was really skilled with both his tongue and his dick, knew all kinds of things to do with them that I had never experienced. He was hitting things in every angle possible, making me cum each time in a different way.

      He wasn’t just focusing on my pussy either, he was doing other things to my body at the same time. Like he’d be sucking on my toes while my feet were on his shoulders, all while driving it in deep, or rubbing his hands up and down my body while he was kissing and fucking me at the same time. Quite the multi tasker ;);)

      At some points he was really rough and almost scary it was so intense. He actually had me SCREAMING and afraid I wasn’t going to be able to handle it, but he never actually hurt me. Then he’d stop and make love to me for awhile and be super romantic. A lot of variety.

      Im still baffled by this one thing he was doing with his cock that actually felt better to me than my vibrator. I was like HOW are you doing that?? And he just laughed. He was somehow hitting the right spots on the inside and moving it around where he was grinding against my clit at the same time.

      Hes just really skilled, lol and when we did get into the dirty talk he was good at that too. Another thing I love is that there are virtually no limits with him. He would do practically anything in the bedroom and is cool with anything I say I like, no judgment. Plus he has done anal and doesnt really care for it either, just like me. We are a good match and seem to like all the same things.

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