Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to announce that it is the official one year anniversary of the day I opened a WordPress account and began this wonderful blog! Woohoo! I am thrilled to see that in that amount of time I have acquired 226 followers and even more happy that so many of you have taken the time to interact and comment on my writing and experiences. I’ve even received blog award nominations a total of 14 times! Wow!!
So glad I decided to come here and put my thoughts to good use. It’s like therapy for me to write about what’s in my head and and others get a peek into my interesting life. I’m having my cake, eating it and sharing it with all of you!! 😀
It’s funny that right around this time weddings have really been on my mind. Not just the little emotional fantasy voyage my mind has been on regarding the Producer, but other weird little happenings as well.
The other day, Friday the 13th to be exact, my ex- husband’s girlfriend texted me again. She wanted to know why our marriage ended and if he had ever cheated, so I gave her the short version.
I said “Not that I know of. He fell for another woman that he was working with but I am pretty sure they never had sex. He told the marriage counselors that he would leave all of us for her if she wanted him though. Really our marriage was over long before that. We weren’t having sex hardly at all and he said he was never attracted to me.”
I mean, all that is the truth. There is a lot more I could have said but I was kind of taken aback by the question in the first place and didn’t want to trash talk. Yet, at the same time I felt like I should warn her. Warn her about the lack of sex and let her know that if it is happening to her she’s not alone. I mean, what do you say? There’s no way I could fit 13 years of marriage into a text.
Anyway, she had a reason for asking because right afterwards she informed me that he had proposed to her and that’s why she wanted to know. Holy cow! She has claimed in the past that they were going to tie the knot, and even had a date set, but he told me that they weren’t at that time. This, however, sounds more serious.
If any of you all remember the blog post I wrote about six weeks ago, where I got a text from his number asking if I still think about him, but he later said it was her drunk texting on his phone, well, that makes it extra weird. One of my sisters, her child’s father did something similar right before he proposed to his current wife. He just had to check and make sure she wasn’t still interested first, and I wonder if that was what it was all about, but I guess I’ll never know!
In any case, I would never want to get back with him but at the same time it brings up some feelings. It’s again a reminder of the family I dreamed of having being shattered and totally lost as our marriage fell apart. It’s a reminder of all the plans we had for our life together and how those came crashing down. Another reminder of my own failure to provide the perfect home I thought I could have for my children, and that I’ll never have that chance again. Ouch.
As another reminder, when I was getting my nails done later that day ,(finally using that gift certificate I won, lol) I picked a glittery neutral pinkish color, thinking it would go well with most of my clothing and toes. The woman said “oh, that is ‘June Bride’, were you a June bride?” and mentioned that she had just gotten married this June. Sigh…
Yesterday I was at the park with my kids and took my 3 yr old in the restroom. Inside was a woman dressed in a wedding gown attempting to use the restroom while three bridesmaids held her dress. That was entertaining anyhow. What’s the message in that? Marriage is shitty? Haha
For the most part I’m not too worried about my ex getting married. I’m thinking it doesn’t really affect us that much since he is already fairly distant from the kids. It might mean he won’t want to take part in our tax return deal, where I allow him to claim a couple of the kids in exchange for half his refund, so in that sense not good for me. Other than that, I don’t know.
Today when I dropped the kids off for their (day) visit, he didn’t come out to the vehicle to get them. I called and he said he might be there in a minute. We waited awhile and finally his girlfriend came out, which was awkward, since I normally avoid her. She said he was just waking up.
So I text my son and ask if everything is okay and call the other one, and they say, it is now, our dad just got home. What? I don’t get that. They were lying to me about him being there, which makes no sense, unless he just didn’t want to talk to me. When I called and texted was like 15 minutes after I left and he had known we were coming. He had even texted me like an hour before to make sure what time (and he was supposedly asleep?).
His girlfriend is really jealous and seems to think I still want him, regardless of me telling her multiple times I don’t. She has gotten upset if I talk to him about anything that isn’t related to the kids, even finances. I don’t know if this marriage thing is going to her head to the point where she thinks she has to control his every move or what. She is kind of like that and I wonder if that isn’t why they are together. He did say, when we were divorcing that the reason he wasn’t as attracted to me was because I was “too nice” and not bossy enough. (I know, wtf? Right?)
I wonder what this means for the future because if he is unwilling to talk to me even about things with the kids, it is going to make me feel uncomfortable leaving them there. I have full, sole custody and he doesn’t show a whole lot of interest in them or with helping with our difficult teenage son anyhow. I think it would make me feel a lot less guilty about packing up and moving far away if it comes to that. I guess only time will tell.