Archive | September 2013

I haven’t quit!!

outsick

I’m at the library with minimal time to type but just wanted to let you all know I am still alive!!  I’ve been very sick the past couple of weeks and then the keyboard on my laptop died.  It has been sent off to get fixed but it will be a week or two probably before I can begin blogging regularly again. 

I can access WordPress from my phone but it’s hard to type out a blog entry.  :p  Also, due to a very serious eye infection I’m suffering from blurred vision.  Thankfully it’s supposed to be temporary and the eye doctor says I should be better in a few weeks.  

For obvious reasons I haven’t been having any adventures to write about anyhow!  LOL  The Producer is overseas in Norway right now and this horrible virus just took over my house.  It’s some sort of adenovirus and the eye condition I have is called EKC.  It’s supposed to be extremely contagious and for awhile I thought I was going to go blind. 

I was so freaked out that I went to the health dept and got tested to make sure it wasn’t some kind of std in my eyes.  I had read that Chlamydia in your eyes can cause serious issues and that it doesn’t respond to antibiotics.  The ones I was taking didn’t seem to be working and I was also 6 days late for my period.  Thankfully I tested clear and am not pregnant.  The stomach virus part probably just affected my cycle.  Fun, fun! 

I have been using condoms with everyone other than the Producer, but still wanted to be sure.  It was in my eyes so I wasn’t sure if I somehow could have caught something when giving a blow job.  SO glad it wasn’t something like that! 

Still, what I had caused small lacerations across my eyes that will take some time to heal. It makes it harder to read and type, especially when I am having to do it all on my phone.  My kids got sick too but only with the stomach virus part, thankfully, and one got severe tonsillitis.  As a single mom, this entire ordeal was totally NOT fun, but so glad we are mostly better.

Anyhow, I should have some updates soon.  The Pilot and I have been talking a bit again and have tentative plans to go to a party together in the near future.  We will see! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s my Blogiversary!! :D

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to announce that it is the official one year anniversary of the day I opened a WordPress account and began this wonderful blog! Woohoo!  I am thrilled to see that in that amount of time I have acquired 226 followers and even more happy that so many of you have taken the time to interact and comment on my writing and experiences.  I’ve even received blog award nominations a total of 14 times!  Wow!! 

So glad I decided to come here and put my thoughts to good use.  It’s like therapy for me to write about what’s in my head and and others get a peek into my interesting life.  I’m having my cake, eating it and sharing it with all of you!! 😀

Image

It’s funny that right around this time weddings have really been on my mind.  Not just the little emotional fantasy voyage my mind has been on regarding the Producer, but other weird little happenings as well. 

The other day, Friday the 13th to be exact, my ex- husband’s girlfriend texted me again.  She wanted to know why our marriage ended and if he had ever cheated, so I gave her the short version. 

I said “Not that I know of.  He fell for another woman that he was working with but I am pretty sure they never had sex.  He told the marriage counselors that he would leave all of us for her if she wanted him though.  Really our marriage was over long before that.  We weren’t having sex hardly at all and he said he was never attracted to me.”

I mean, all that is the truth.  There is a lot more I could have said but I was kind of taken aback by the question in the first place and didn’t want to trash talk.  Yet, at the same time I felt like I should warn her.  Warn her about the lack of sex and let her know that if it is happening to her she’s not alone.  I mean, what do you say?  There’s no way I could fit 13 years of marriage into a text.

Anyway, she had a reason for asking because right afterwards she informed me that he had proposed to her and that’s why she wanted to know.  Holy cow!  She has claimed in the past that they were going to tie the knot, and even had a date set, but he told me that they weren’t at that time.  This, however, sounds more serious.

If any of you all remember the blog post I wrote about six weeks ago, where I got a text from his number asking if I still think about him, but he later said it was her drunk texting on his phone, well, that makes it extra weird.  One of my sisters, her child’s father did something similar right before he proposed to his current wife.  He just had to check and make sure she wasn’t still interested first, and I wonder if that was what it was all about, but I guess I’ll never know!

In any case, I would never want to get back with him but at the same time it brings up some feelings.  It’s again a reminder of the family I dreamed of having being shattered and totally lost as our marriage fell apart.  It’s a reminder of all the plans we had for our life together and how those came crashing down.  Another reminder of my own failure to provide the perfect home I thought I could have for my children, and that I’ll never have that chance again.  Ouch.

As another reminder, when I was getting my nails done later that day ,(finally using that gift certificate I won, lol) I picked a glittery neutral pinkish color, thinking it would go well with most of my clothing and toes.  The woman said “oh, that is ‘June Bride’, were you a June bride?” and mentioned that she had just gotten married this June.  Sigh… 

Yesterday I was at the park with my kids and took my 3 yr old in the restroom.  Inside was a woman dressed in a wedding gown attempting to use the restroom while three bridesmaids held her dress.  That was entertaining anyhow.  What’s the message in that?  Marriage is shitty?  Haha

For the most part I’m not too worried about my ex getting married.  I’m thinking it doesn’t really affect us that much since he is already fairly distant from the kids.  It might mean he won’t want to take part in our tax return deal, where I allow him to claim a couple of the kids in exchange for half his refund, so in that sense not good for me.  Other than that, I don’t know. 

Today when I dropped the kids off for their (day) visit, he didn’t come out to the vehicle to get them.  I called and he said he might be there in a minute.  We waited awhile and finally his girlfriend came out, which was awkward, since I normally avoid her.  She said he was just waking up.

So I text my son and ask if everything is okay and call the other one, and they say, it is now, our dad just got home.  What?  I don’t get that.  They were lying to me about him being there, which makes no sense, unless he just didn’t want to talk to me. When I called and texted was like 15 minutes after I left and he had known we were coming. He had even texted me like an hour before to make sure what time (and he was supposedly asleep?).

 His girlfriend is really jealous and seems to think I still want him, regardless of me telling her multiple times I don’t.  She has gotten upset if I talk to him about anything that isn’t related to the kids, even finances.  I don’t know if this marriage thing is going to her head to the point where she thinks she has to control his every move or what.  She is kind of like that and I wonder if that isn’t why they are together.  He did say, when we were divorcing that the reason he wasn’t as attracted to me was because I was “too nice” and not bossy enough.  (I know, wtf? Right?)

I wonder what this means for the future because if he is unwilling to talk to me even about things with the kids, it is going to make me feel uncomfortable leaving them there.  I have full, sole custody and he doesn’t show a whole lot of interest in them or with helping with our difficult teenage son anyhow.  I think it would make me feel a lot less guilty about packing up and moving far away if it comes to that.  I guess only time will tell.

Drifting into dreamland…..

 

Ever since the party the other night I feel like I’ve been falling harder for the Producer.  I didn’t think this was going to happen.  I’ve really got to concentrate on keeping my head on straight. 

The question I have to ask myself is why now?  We’ve been seeing one another for a couple of months and having lots of sex.  I really wasn’t that into him previously.  I mean I liked him, but I wonder what triggered these seemingly sudden new feelings?

Could it be that his accepting attitude towards me fucking another man, and one who was better endowed and hot at that, actually got me going?  I’m kind of bewildered.  I’ve always thought that would make the guy look kind of weak, but it didn’t in this case at all.

Then there is the fact that he told me some stuff about his past that isn’t repeatable on this blog.  It’s dangerous, badass, and maybe should be a red flag.  Yet, somehow I think my mind converts this to HOT.  I didn’t really feel that way when he told me about his former involvement in the porn industry (not as an actor but producing movies- he said it was actually to the point that he got tired of looking at pussies all day, lol).  Perhaps it’s something to do with the mystery of it all, it’s past but is there any way he could be covering things up now?  I’m on alert.

I mean I already know he’s a bit of a baller.  He cracks me up because he looks and acts the part.  He’s exactly what you’d expect a bigwig producer type to be like, in a lot of ways.  The other day he had me laughing because we were at the hotel and I said I needed to use the computer in the lobby to print off a couple of forms (I don’t have a printer at home).  It cost like 10 cents a page and he was like “you tell them Big Daddy said to put it on the tab”.  He didn’t want me to pay for it. LMFAO.  10 cents  :::smh:::: but yeah, that is his general attitude.

I’m pretty certain he’s into me.  He says I’m a “man’s dream” and keeps talking about how he loved being able to wake up next to me in the morning.  He keeps commenting that he’s really feeling me and I have him sprung.  Yesterday he referred to me as his baby.

The issue though, is that I don’t want to fuck up a good thing.  It seems like whenever “feelings” start to come into play it messes up whatever you have going.  People start acting like fools.  Jealousy, drama, I don’t want to mess with any of that.  I’m trying hard to reign in my rampant fantasies that have been going wild the past couple of days.

I’m still not “in love” but I’ve been doused with a bit of NRE (new relationship energy, or infatuation).  It’s all those little what ifs.  What if I could actually get what I want?  A long term relationship with someone who could help me- financially and with my difficult teenage son who really needs a male role model and someone intimidating enough to keep him in line.  That and would LET me have sex with other men??  OMG, it would be a dream come true. 

He’s commented that if I let him take my son for a weekend he would set him straight.  I don’t know what the hell he’d be planning to do though, lol.  The Producer was a problem child too and got kicked out of his entire school district.  I know he can identify and from his comments I can tell he’d be a bit harsh but he’s also generally pretty nice and easygoing.  He doesn’t seem like a control freak.

Did I mention he’s never had kids and actually seems to want one of his own?  I’d love to have another baby someday…. Before I get too old, lol, and I’ve always wanted a mixed baby, ever since taking care of my biracial siblings as a teen. He’s talked about how important it would be to him to be there for his children and to stay with the mother if he ever had kids.

He’s got a big house, with lots of bedrooms, a movie theater, a video arcade and a fully stocked bar.  I told him he should put a pole down there (for me) and throw swinger parties and he liked the idea.  Yeah my imagination has gone into overdrive.

Still, it’s all so premature.  I don’t want to get my hopes up or daydream too much about things that could be totally unrealistic.  Yeah, someone knock some sense into me!!  LOL  Help!! 

A couple swap with the Producer!!

schoolgirl

Last night the Producer and I went to a swinger party.  He’d expressed interest in going, so I agreed to take him to one here in town.  I was a bit reluctant at first but when I discovered the party was schoolgirl themed, I changed my tune.  I’d bought a cute little schoolgirl outfit awhile back on clearance, for just such an occasion, and was excited for a chance to wear it!

I admit I was a little nervous about how things would go.  The Producer has expressed reluctance to “share” me in the past and I wondered how that was going to go over and if he was really just wanting to find a woman to hook up with.  The party didn’t allow single males so it would mostly be couples swapping and possibly an occasional single female anyhow. 

Much to my surprise he was actually pretty cool about things.  On the way to dinner I brought up the question of how he would feel about me hooking up with another guy and he said not to worry, he wasn’t going to trip.  He said we were going TOGETHER and leaving together and that he knew he’d end up taking me home in the end so that made him happy.

We had a great dinner and discussion beforehand.  I wore my new little white dress, despite it being after Labor Day (screw the “rules”, lol) and the first thing the hostess said to me at the restaurant was “I really love that dress, it’s so cute!!”  I got carded by the waitress, who said she was told to question anyone who looked under 30, so that made my day too! Ha!  Especially since I just had my ::cough37thcough::: birthday!!!  Shhhh…..

While we were eating the Producer kept staring at me and saying every time he sees me I look even sexier.  He was like “I am so sprung”.  Later on he was telling the same thing to people at the party, lol.

He recently mentioned a girl he knows who is from my hometown.  She is a stripper, and I guess at some point a few years ago wanted to move in with him to get away from bad influences there.  I had said hmmm, what is her name and he told me.  Looked her up on my phone on Facebook and sure enough we had 48 mutual friends, one of whom was one of my sisters. 

He was watching over my shoulder and was like, uh-oh, now I know who to ask about you.  Scrolled through the mutual friends and saw that I am also friends with a guy he knows from the music industry.  He and some other guys I grew up with actually made it pretty big for a while there.

This had him even more determined to find out about me.  He said he was going to call them both and try to dig up some dirt.  I tried to dissuade him and was like, all that and anything I did back then was a loooong time ago and doesn’t define me now.  He was shaking his head and saying he bet he was going to find out I was “gangsta”.

Oh shit.  He had me freaked out there for a bit, lol.  This lead to a discussion where he demanded to know how many sexual partners I had in the past.  I said it was irrelevant but he wouldn’t let it be and I finally told him.  Fortunately his numbers are much higher than mine.  He says he’s slept with over 250 people so that’s no big deal to him.  Whew!

As for the “gangsta” part, let’s just say he revealed some of his past and it’s much worse than mine so I have room to breathe.  Even if he does talk to someone and they tell him about my past or that I used to date a big deal drug dealer, it shouldn’t cause too much trouble.  He’s even admitted he has a huge “thing” for innocent looking females with a dark side. 😉 Anyhow, maybe all that discussion made him more open to exploring with me at the party because it was afterwards that he suggested we go to one. 

The night of the party he reserved a motel room at the official swinger hotel, right across from the building we would be in.  I warned him that it was kind of seedy and people leave their doors open where you can watch them fuck.  I’ve only been in there once before and it was after the 2nd party I went to with the Professor, that I haven’t really written about.  The rooms were full but he flirted with the girl making the reservations and she cancelled someone else, who hadn’t put theirs on a credit card, just so we could get in.

Thankfully, it has been remodeled a bit since the last time I was there and was looking much better.  The woman he had talked to on the phone was working the front desk.  She was of Middle Eastern descent and said her husband is black and she had figured the Producer was as well, from his name.  It’s funny how many people commented on his name last night.  He has a fairly common “black” name but I guess not many people around here have heard it and think it’s cool.

 We checked in and once we got up to the room I changed into my schoolgirl costume, complete with little white knit gloves with the finger holes cut out and white knee highs with black bows. (The picture above is the same as my outfit, but I didn’t wear the tie and my knee highs are different). I wore clunky black heels and my hair in high pigtails.  I’d asked the Producer’s opinion and he preferred those to braids or low pigtails.  He thought my outfit looked sexy and I only got compared to Pippi Longstocking once, lol. 

Some other people were claiming I looked like Salma Hayek.  Too funny.  I do get mistaken for being Latina fairly often and am built like a Latina girl, with a curvy butt and boobs.  The Producer said I was the hottest girl there and that he wasn’t really attracted to that many of the women.  There were a couple of cute blondes but even one girl that I have met before and think is really pretty, he said she had too small of boobs.  According to him a lot of the women were inflicted with “candle ass” where it looks like your butt is melting into your legs.  He says mine doesn’t look like that. 

Anyhow, he was unimpressed.  He wanted to sit back and people watch a bit so we found a place at a table and got our drinks made and kicked back.  We had a good view of some of the “shadow rooms” where you could see people’s silhouettes.  One had a sex swing in it and in another there was a guy getting a blow job.  There were also a few people on the dance floor and occasionally on the pole.  We never got to watch anyone on the Sybian because the women kept requesting privacy in there and they were kicking people out.

The guy getting the blow job was one of the first things I noticed and pointed out.  The Producer said look, you can tell it is a black dude in there.  Even through the curtain his silhouette looked “black” haha and since he was the only black person other than the Producer it was noticeable.  He also had a longish cock and the Producer said he thought that was what I was interested in, lmao.

Whoever it was was in there for a loooong time getting this blow job and I commented on that fact.  By this time there were TWO women blowing him and he was standing there scratching his head like he was bored.  Come to find out we were sitting right behind his wife, a blonde 40-ish woman, and she made a comment about how that was her husband “showing off again”.  She went and talked to him and was kissing on him but he was still standing there getting a blow job.  The Producer said he must not be getting a good one if it is taking that long and his wife said he NEVER cums from blowjobs anyway.

Meanwhile we drank and danced a bit and talked with some people.  During a couple of songs chairs were lined up across the dance floor and men came to sit on them while women found a guy to give a lap dance to.  The black guy’s wife invited the Producer to come sit out there while she danced for him and he said “no thanks” which she took personally. 

She was like “wow, you just shot me down like that?” and he apologized and said he just didn’t want to go up there.  However when it came the women’s turn to head up he really wanted to see me get a lap dance, so I went and took a seat.  I was giggling the whole time as some 40-something white dude straddled me and went to town.  He said “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing but what the hell” lmao.  Then he turned around and started grinding his ass on me so I playfully gave him a slap.  The man dancing on the woman next to me said “hey, no hands allowed” and I could see the Producer cracking up.

By this time the black guy had come out of the room and joined his wife and was talking with her and the Producer.  He was pretty darn cute and had an accent.  He said he was from some remote island in the Caribbean and is in the military here.  The Producer later commented that it looked like he married that woman for a green card.  She was in her early 40’s and he is 28.  He was definitely the more attractive looking of the two.

The Producer kept referring to the Caribbean guy as “Mandingo” and saying he could see me looking at him.  He was being playful about it but I kind of denied it and was like “whatever”.   When we talked with the couple, Mr. “Mandingo” (lol) barely even looked my way, though I admit I was wanting him to.  He did ask what our screen names were on the swinger site and I was hoping he was going to hit me up sometime later. At one point he was standing at the end of our table and I subtly “bumped” his foot on purpose to get his attention and we made eye contact. 

The Producer and I had fun singing some of the songs that were played and dancing together. Some women came over and flirted with him and talked with me too.  One of them is a bigger woman with gigantic boobs which she pulled out for him to touch.  Her male friend, not her husband, who was also there- I discovered later,  told the Producer if he didn’t suck on them he was a “pussy” but he declined.   

I finally got up on the pole towards the end of the night.  My school girl costume, as requested by the hosts, was without panties, so when I bent over you could see everything, lol.  I had fun but couldn’t do everything I wanted because it was one of those poles that is on a stand and doesn’t reach the ceiling so I was worried it could tip over.  It didn’t seem all that stable.  Still the Producer thought it was hot and said a lot of people were watching.  While he was trying to watch, the woman with the big boobs had them out and was bouncing them against his head, trying to distract him.  LOL

When it was time to go the Producer gave our hotel room number to Mr. Mandingo and his wife.  I was surprised since he’d expressed that he didn’t find her all that attractive!  He also gave it to the woman with the big boobs and her husband.  She’d been claiming she had the tightest pussy in the entire place and that he should give it a try. 

The Producer claimed he was thinking we could just not answer our door, but Mr. Mandingo and company were right on our tail as we walked up the steps to our room.  I went to use the restroom real quick and when I came out they were sitting on the chair by the bed. 

I sat on the bed and we talked for a few minutes before his wife came up to lie beside me.  The men started undressing and soon I was sucking Mr. Mandingo’s long black cock while the Producer fucked his wife next to me. The Producer warned him that my blow job skills are excellent and he said yeah but he never cums from blow jobs.  He also told the guy to fuck me real good. Oh my God, when we started fucking he was good!  I tried not to get too loud but I couldn’t stop.  In between I was whispering stuff in his ear, like “Oh my god that feels good”. 

He made me cum a few times and at one point the Producer came and slapped my ass a bit before he pulled me off of him.  He later said it was because the wife was starting to get upset.  I had looked over and seen him licking her pussy and them fucking on the chair a few minutes before that.  We traded and the Producer and I fucked for a while and Mr. Mandingo and his wife were going at it right next to us. 

At some point they stopped and I was giving the Producer a blowjob.  I had thought they were done but the guy came up behind me and slipped on another condom.  The wife was just sitting in the chair while the two of them were tag teaming me. 

At some point we switched and the Producer had me bent over the bed while Mr. Mandingo came over again and had his cock in my face so I started sucking.  He and the Producer were talking about my dick sucking skills and Mr. Mandingo said that with me it seemed like I loved it so much it was a “fetish”.  Haha 

I hate to think what was going through his wife’s head because she was just sitting there while I was getting all the attention.  Someone came to the door and the Producer pulled out of me as the wife went to answer.  I continued on sucking and Mr. Mandingo spurted out a bunch of cum.  The others were distracted but I said to him “I thought you don’t cum from blowjobs”. He was like “I don’t even know what just happened”.  LMAO 😉 

So we stopped and the first thing the wife says to me is “you need to work on the sounds you make.  Sometimes it sounds like you are saying OW, like you are getting hurt”.  WTF?  Bitch please…but I didn’t comment and looking back I do feel bad for her being left out.  I’m pretty sure she said that out of jealousy.  I mean, maybe I do, I don’t know, but it’s not like I practice my sex noises, lmao.

Anyhow when they left the guy who had been at the door, the man who was a friend with the big boob woman was still standing there and the Producer made me lift up my dress to show him my ass.  Then he went downstairs to look for the woman he’d been with and I wondered how long I would be up there alone.

I didn’t know if he was down there fucking her or what but didn’t see anyone in the hallway when I went out there.  So I lay on the bed and touched myself a bit thinking about what had just went down.  The Producer came back fairly quickly and said he’d gone in the lobby and that guy had tried to grab his dick so he told him no and came back up to be with me.  He was like “screw that!” 

We fucked some more and I made him cum with a blow job.  Then we crashed and fell asleep.  I noticed the next morning that I’d been validated on the swinger site by Mr. Mandingo (presumably him and not his wife) who said I was sexy and fun.  I wonder if I will ever see or hear from them again?  The Producer says he bets money I will.

We were discussing it when he took me out for breakfast and I was like yeah, but the wife wasn’t too keen on me when they left.  He says he can tell she will just follow her husband’s lead and do what he says because he is giving HER good dick.  Hmmmm… I guess we will find out!! 

Stood up!!

stood-up

Sad to say this, but apparently the man I used to call the “love of my life” has now joined the ranks of the biggest losers.  He stood me up this weekend in a rather cruel way.  Makes me wonder if he felt some sort of need to get revenge for something I have done.  Only I can’t imagine what?  The only thing I seem to have failed at with him was not giving him enough attention the past several months.  Perhaps due to his narcissism this made him angry.  I really can’t say.

We hadn’t been talking much lately.  Now and again I’d get a random text from him saying he misses me, and I would respond in kind but we hadn’t planned any get togethers.  It’s been something like 9 months since we last had sex or saw one another. 

On my birthday he texted me.  It was sweet, he said he wished he were here to enjoy it with me.  A few days later I got another text.  This time he was inviting me to a concert.  He said a friend had given him their tickets because they couldn’t go and he had an extra one. 

I was thrilled because, unbeknownst to him I was going to be in his town anyway!  I was driving up to see family and had meant to text him and let him know but hadn’t done it yet.  So when I told him this and that my sister would likely be able to babysit he sounded excited that I’d said yes.  He emphasized that even if I wasn’t able to go to the concert with him he REALLY wanted to see me. 

The concert was for an old school singer whose music I love, and I know he does too.  It was an all white event and both of us were going to have to find something to wear.  Being that it was nearly Labor Day I figured I’d be able to find something on sale.  After telling me the details of where and what time it was and how we needed to dress, he disappeared.

That was the last I heard of him.  I assumed he was working.  He tends to be really slow responding to texts and constantly busy so I didn’t think much of it at first.  I texted him a few times, mostly thanking him, and letting him know how stoked I was that he had invited me to come along! 

Then I set off to find a dress.  I found a darling little white sundress on clearance sale for $15 at the mall and some really cute shoes (used but in fantastic condition and a normally expensive brand) for $9.  The dress didn’t require a bra, since it has a bit of one built in.  I was thankful for that, having nothing strapless and white to wear otherwise.  I got some white flower pins for my hair and a cute white bracelet and earrings.

white dress

white shoes

 

I texted to let him know I’d found some things, because he’d expressed that he needed to find white clothing as well.  No response, but I still wasn’t too worried.  The concert was the next evening so I only had one day to look and get ready to drive his way.  I even decided to swing by a tanning booth since I haven’t been in the sun much lately and I wanted my color to look good with the dress.  I decided on sparkly gold nail polish for both fingers and toes.

By the next morning, when I was getting ready to leave town with the kids, I still hadn’t heard from him.  By now I was getting a little worried but trying not to stress.  We’ve had big blow outs in the past because I’d over-reacted (or so he says) to him not responding to texts when he’s busy with working.  He always says that if he hasn’t responded then nothing has changed and that he is a man of his word and his feelings don’t change that quickly, so not to flip. 

We’ve worked a LOT on this kind of stuff in the past.  I mean, we were seeing each other and in an emotional relationship for 4 years.  Our affair lasted two years during the end of my marriage and carried on over two years after that before it started to dwindle.  He knows all too well that being stood up is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and that I tend to panic if I have any reason to believe plans are going to be changed at the last minute. 

That’s what is really fucked up about all this.  He knows me and knows my trigger points probably better than anyone on the planet.  He knows all too well about my abandonment issues, and over the years that I’ve really been trying hard to work on them.  So I finally texted that I was starting to feel anxious and stressed but that I was going to try not to worry and looked forward to hearing back from him soon. 

I let him know I was on my way to town and was looking forward to seeing him when I arrived, that I’d be at my sister’s house.  His cousin and my sister have a child together, so in that sense we are practically related and I’ve known him since we were kids.  I reasoned that everything was probably fine and was proud of myself for not going overboard or getting angry with him for his lack of response.  I was trying to remain calm.

All to no avail.  I arrived and showered and got ready for the concert but still no word from him.  I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and just knew he wasn’t going to show.  I didn’t put on my new dress and I told my sister what was up.  She was like “yeah, if he hasn’t responded by NOW, he’s probably not coming”. 

Wow. Just wow.  I couldn’t believe he would do this.  My sister said yeah, but what do you expect from the men in that family anyway?  I had to acknowledge that there is some truth to that.  I dated one of his half- brothers long ago and he stood me up constantly.  I just wanted to believe he was better than that.  Sure enough, he never showed and I haven’t heard a peep out of him.

I guess he must have invited someone else instead but the least he could have done was make up some stupid lame excuse.  I’d rather hear one of those, and maybe even be lied to, than stood up like that.  It was cruel.  My sister said the same thing, and so did Mr. Firm when I told him.  The Producer said I shouldn’t be hanging around lame ass bustas like that, haha and I even told the Pilot (we’ve been texting back and forth a bit, but no plans to get together again or anything as of now).

The Producer says he will take me out and I can wear my new white dress. 😀 At least I know he will most likely follow through! For my birthday he took me out to an expensive steak house and for a couples massage and had bought me roses and a card as well. He went to a white linen party himself recently and bought white clothes for that too so we could even match, lol. Mr. Firm thought it was pretty fucked up too and said I should send HIM a pic of myself in the dress.

 

I commented to the Pilot “see why I am so sensitive about stuff like that?” and he said “I can understand that but I didn’t have you come all the way up here and change my mind”…which is true.  At least he gave me that much respect and in that sense his behavior is more forgivable.  Thank God I didn’t make a trip up there JUST for that or I would be pissed beyond belief.  I was coming up anyhow to get my hair done by my sis and hang out with the fam.  I’d also made tentative plans with Mr. Firm for the following day.

As it is though, I was mad enough to text him to never bother contacting me again.  I left it at that and said have fun at the concert.  What an ass.  I am so done with him and compared to the hot sex I ended up having with Mr. Firm the next day, he’s really not looking like he was ever much of a catch anyhow.

OMG.  Mr. Firm was beyond fabulous in bed.  He drove up at lunchtime (he’s 30 minutes away from my hometown) and got a cheap motel.  I’d just had my hair done and couldn’t get all the dye off my head but he was cool about that, lmao.  He said the same thing happens to him when he colors his goatee.  He must have gray hairs in it or something, lol.

WOW, did my time with him ever make me feel better!!  😀  I think he has surpassed even the Professor in the bedroom.  He’s almost up there with Mr. Married Man and is probably my second most favorite ever.  I loved every minute of it!!  We fucked twice and were in there for two hours.

He’d told me beforehand to come in the back door because the front desk staff was being nosy about his checking out a room during that time of day.  I’m pretty sure by the time I left there was absolutely nothing left to their imaginations as to what we’d been doing, lmao!  He even said he saw a shadow on the wall from someone standing in front of the door for quite some time while we were having sex, though it was gone by the time we’d finished. 

I was trying to be quiet but it was impossible, lmao, and he was like “just let it go”. 😉  Oh my God, he is good!!!  There is no doubt in my mind that he has had LOTS of practice, haha. 

He texted me afterwards. “That was great.  You fuck me just the way I like.  Amazing.”  He even commented a couple more times how freaking great it was and how he loves the way I fuck.  Apparently it was good for him too!  I have no idea why and it still baffles me that men say that when I don’t feel like I do anything special in bed, but I am thrilled that he likes it!!  Haha

Nothing like getting under one man to get over another.  Soooo glad I had someone to fall back on, because it really did help.  I’m ready to forget the guy I had the affair with and move on.  So much for that.  Unbelievable that he would stoop that low but unless he’s dead or something there really isn’t a good enough excuse.