Archive | August 2013

Loving the “benefits” that come with this one

pocketing money

Let me tell you, there are some real perks to seeing a guy with money.  I’ve been spending more time with the Producer lately and I’m rather enjoying all the little “extras”.  It’s SO nice to be able to go out and do basically whatever we want, without having to worry about how much it costs! 

He’s been coming here twice, sometimes three times, a week and getting a hotel.  He has a house in his home city but travels south of here for work and stops through on his way.  However, his roommate situation down there is about to change and he’s decided to get an apartment here, closer to me, for when he is in town.

I admit I was a little concerned when he first mentioned wanting to move closer to me, rather than down where he is staying now. I guess it made me feel a little claustrophobic and worried that he wants more than a FWB thing.  He reminded me that he spends quite a bit on hotels here each week anyhow so it really would be more cost efficient for him.  That’s probably true, even if he gets one of these luxury apartments very close by.  For now, he’s on a waiting list for those and going to stay at another nice apartment across town. 

He had thought about getting a roommate here and a bigger place but every time he arranged to meet someone and they discovered he was black they bailed out.  He was getting pretty discouraged and finally decided it would be better to get his own place. If only they knew.  People are so stupid.

 He’s probably way better at paying his share of the bill and a better roommate than half the redneck white guys in this area.  This is admittedly a rather backwoods and racist area to live in though.  One of the women he works with, who lives on the expensive side of town, said that every time she’s had a black neighbor they’ve left within six months due to the way people act.  Despicable, but I am not all that surprised.

Anyhow, he’s moving closer and likely I’ll be seeing him even more.  That’s not such a bad thing and he’s still gone a lot to his other home and on constant trips across the nation and overseas.  So it’s not like he should be breathing down my back or anything, lol.  I do like spending time with him, just want my freedom to play with others as well, without any drama. 

So far that is actually going pretty well.  I haven’t had much chance to play with anyone else lately but I have been in contact with my Fuck Buddy and I’m pretty sure we will be meeting up again soon.  The Producer may not LIKE me fucking around with other guys but verbally he’s saying it’s okay because he is messing around with people too.

 He actually wants me to meet up for dinner with him and a woman he is considering sleeping with soon.  It’s her and her husband, who just wants to watch, and he says he wants me along because he thinks it’s a little bit of an odd situation.  However, after talking a bit with him over dinner last night, I think I’ve discovered the REAL reason, lol. 

According to him she is really into women too and he wants her to meet me. Surprise, surprise.  Men… sheesh. :p Anyhow, as long as I don’t have to sleep with her husband, maybe, I guess we will see.

I’ve been getting treated to a lot of dinners lately, and drinks, and he even took me to a concert the other night.  It was one of my favorite rap groups from back in the mid 90’s, lol.  Wouldn’t you know it, in this town, there was such a small showing of people it was ridiculous!!  There were like under 100 people in the venue.  It was crazy.  We are talking a group that was pretty damn popular back in the day and draws in huge crowds in large cities…at least ones where people have actually heard some rap music before, besides like, Snoop Dog (or is it Snoop Lion?  Is he even “rap” anymore?  More like pop, but whatever…)

We still had fun. 🙂 Because they apparently weren’t even expecting a big crowd, it was held in a place that wouldn’t fit a lot of people anyway, and we were right up close to the stage.  Oh, and while we were waiting through the mostly lame opening acts, we went and fucked in his car in the parking lot, haha…and afterwards in it again, in my driveway, when he dropped me home.  Bad, bad, bad…hopefully my neighbors were fast asleep… 😉

So here I got to see one of my dream groups from back in high school, all because I mentioned it offhand to the Producer that they were going to be in town.  He was like “then I’ll buy us tickets”.  It’s so easy for him!  I love that!! 😀 How am I ever going to go back to seeing guys who don’t take me anywhere fun and pay for it??  LOL

Oh and he bought go-cart passes for my kids and I because I had mentioned the other day we were there and I could only afford to let each of them ride one ride.  We’d been staying in a friend’s condo for a little vacation and it was fun but we were financially limited as to what we could do.  So he bought TWO passes for my family, which amounts to $240.   

He’s also taking us to get a couple’s massage on my birthday and I am excited about that!! Plus we went and saw “We’re the Millers” at the movie theater the other day too. (I thought it was funny, even if some of it was cheesy and over the top, haha)  I’m getting spoiled. 😉  He keeps talking about taking me to Vegas with him.  Ahhhh…the life ;).

Last night we went out to a bar with a woman we had met there previously.  She is another single mom and had shown up by herself. After we all got to talking, she took my number.  She called wanting to hang out and since he was going to be in town, we all went together. 

He bought us lots of shots and we had gone up to the jukebox to pick some music.  It cracked me up because she unknowingly picked a song that he produced, by the popular artist he has won Grammy’s for.  I went back and whispered that she had been the one who picked the song, not me, and he laughed.  He had told her he was a janitor.  I could tell she didn’t believe that one but it was amusing in any case. Later on he started name dropping when some guy who had his own band was talking to him and her eyes nearly popped out of her head.  I’m sure he probably gets a lot of women with stuff like that, lol.  Smh…

Right now what we have going on is pretty low drama.  I’m trying to keep it that way.  Obviously I’m a bit motivated by all the side “benefits” too, don’t wanna lose those, haha. 😉 I’m a little worried about the apartment thing, and hoping it doesn’t keep us from going out and doing stuff though.  He has dropped a couple of comments about how then I could cook him dinner.  Bleah.  Not that I don’t love to cook, I do, but I do it every day for myself and my kids so it would take the fun out of getting to go out, which is more relaxing.  It’s nice for me to be able to get out and get a break. 

Also, I’m a little concerned about what I am going to be able to do for HIM when his birthday rolls around.  There is no way I could manage to do anything comparable, price wise.  I may have to cook him dinner then, or something, but that still doesn’t seem like much.  It’s right before Christmas too, when I’m at my financial worst, trying to provide gifts for my children, one of whom also has a birthday at that time.  Guess I will have to worry about that when the time comes!!  In the meantime I’m making the most of what I can right now because who knows how long this will last?  Hopefully a while, but you just never know!! 

 

 

 

“Good in bed” and what it means to me…

in deep

I talk a lot about sex on my blog.  Sometimes I mention how fantastic a certain guy is in bed.  I’ve even mentioned “Penis Power” and the effect certain guys can have on a woman, and what they can do to her with their dick. However, today I’d like to go into more detail, and describe what “good in bed” means to me.

What got me thinking was a recent question by Cecilia in response to one of my blog entries.  She asked what it was that made “good pussy” according to men, since I have mentioned guys telling me I have some.  I’ve often wondered the same thing.  Kdaddy responded with his idea of “good pussy” which was interesting and helpful. He even mentioned that he may write a blog about it himself.  I’d definitely be interested in reading that one!! 

I’ve actually posed that question to men before and they have given various answers but the concept is still pretty vague.  Basically, I get that they want a woman to be enthusiastic.  Some say they like them tight and others say wet.  Being “good in bed” as a woman is hard to define.  Heck, I wrote an entire blog about THAT too. (Redefining Love) I talked about the lame tips we get from sources like Cosmo and how we are supposed to figure out what to do from there but don’t really have any real guidelines, as women.

Today though, I want to talk about men, and my personal preferences.  I can’t really speak for other women though I can GUESS that they might be similar to me in some ways.  Still, we are often different, or so say the men, and confusing.  Nero mentioned recently in one of HIS blogs that his wife didn’t like him pulling her hair during sex, though he thought she’d respond well to something a little more rough, since he’s been spying on her kindle searches and she seems to like sex stories that involve dominant men.

I don’t know about her, and can’t really fathom the negative response she gave, other than attributing it to being her husband and not wanting to submit too much too him.  However, on MY end, I love that shit.  I love it when a guy gets a little rough with me, hair pulling, spanking, getting aggressive, even to the point where I feel fear.  Actually that turns me on, being a little afraid of him and the power that he has over me in bed.

I used to think I’d hate someone choking me but there have been a few occasions where a guy put his hand to my throat in a mock “choke” and I actually came.  Despite my massive fear, and claustrophobic reaction to being “choked”, or perhaps because of it, I got really turned on.  I wouldn’t have thought so.  After having a guy really try to choke me once, and pick me up by my throat in a non- sexual manner, it is something that freaks me out…and apparently gets me horny too.

That said, I wouldn’t want serious choking, in or out of the bedroom.  It’s a fine line, kind of like a rape fantasy.  Oh, and rape fantasies?  I have those too.  I guess I’m actually fairly typical as far as women go in that regard.  It’s supposedly one of the top things we fantasize about and I’m right there with you all.

Actually, and I know this is terribly un-pc and perhaps a bit dangerous to admit (thank God this is fairly anonymous) but there was at least one time I was raped for real and actually enjoyed it.  It’s not something I’d ever want to encourage anyone to do, of course, and I’ve also been raped in a more traumatic way, at gunpoint, but this time, well, it was fucking HOT!! 

I’m a tad bit drunk while writing today (downed a bottle of wine) so bear with me, but this is brutal honesty.  Please don’t take it as me saying its okay to rape, or be raped because it’s not.  I was not turned on at ALL by the incident with the guy with the gun, however, this particular other time, well, it was the stuff my fantasies are made of.  If you are sensitive to this topic you may want to stop reading now.

I’ve mentioned this before on my blog.  I was 15 years old and lying in bed after having had sex with my boyfriend.  He went upstairs when some people showed up at the house and I was in a dark basement bedroom all by myself.  My clothes were on the floor next to the bed and I didn’t feel like getting up just yet. 

Someone came down the stairs, I think I probably thought it was my boyfriend and didn’t make a move to get up.  They opened the door and I could see a silhouette in the doorway, the light shining behind the guy who was standing there.  I was naked so I quickly pulled a sheet over myself, but not before he saw my body. All I could see of him was that he was wearing a wife beater and some kind of pimp hat.  He appeared to be biracial.  I couldn’t see his face though, because it was too dark and the light was behind him.

He came right up to the bed and got on top of me, with only the sheet between us.  I don’t remember what he said but know he was talking in a low voice and trying to get me turned on, as he pulled the sheet down.  I actually fought back, pushing him off, telling him no, and even biting his shoulder, yelling at him to stop.  I guess no one heard me.  He ignored my protests and just kept going. 

I couldn’t stop him.  He pried my legs apart and slid inside me easily, due to my being soaking wet already, from just having finished a round of sex with someone else.  He had a decent sized cock and no matter how much I had tried to stop him I couldn’t stop how good he was starting to make me feel.  IT FELT REALLY FREAKING GOOD.  He was whispering in my ear and despite my reluctance I couldn’t stop myself from moaning in pleasure. 

When he was done he got up and left.  I was upset enough that I cried and I asked around to try and figure out who he was.  The guys who were there gave some guesses so I THINK I know and it’s someone I saw fairly frequently at school but never actually talked to.  Still, I will never be 100% sure.

Did I feel violated?  Yes, but I was also extremely turned on and it’s something that still gets me excited to think about today.  Actually it was similar to my experience with another guy, one I’ve mentioned before as someone who I eventually got into a fuck buddy style relationship with, even though we basically hated each other. 

The second guy was the one who first got me involved in some gangbangs.  I blame him because I willingly slept with the first person, but not with this one.  He came up behind, unexpected and got on top of me before I had a chance to get up.  I fought with and attempted to push him off multiple times, but he wouldn’t let me or allow me to get to my clothes.  He’d just start talking to me, whispering in my ear as he inched a little closer, with the tip inside me, a little bit at a time, until he was all the way in and fucking me, where I couldn’t make him stop. 

I don’t doubt in the least that they had planned it that way, because he was good.  Not just good at working his way in but good at sex in general and soon had me feeling better than I wanted to and super turned on, even though I didn’t want to be, or want to be in that situation.  By the time the next guys came along in line I didn’t even try to fight with them.  I knew it was fruitless and wasn’t going to work, he’d made me feel helpless.  So I lay there and let them have their way with me.

There were many times after that he and I continued to have sex and he was always very aggressive in the sense that he just “took” what he wanted.  We could barely stand one another during the day but at night he was fucking the daylights out of me.  We’d get in arguments that ended up in the bedroom, with him taking out his aggression and it was just hot, hot, hot!!

Admittedly, nowadays, I get turned on by that shit.  A guy who can make me feel completely at his mercy can REALLY get me going.  I can’t really say whether that is due to previous experiences or just the way I am but I love it!!

The Married Man, who is my favorite sex of all time, does just that.  Makes me feel like he is in complete control and there is nothing I can do.  He was the first guy that brought me to multiple orgasms and it was because I didn’t have any choice.  He had me in all these positions and was doing all this stuff to me that felt sooo good and I couldn’t make him stop.  I lost all control because he took it.  He even pinned me down when he was licking me and wouldn’t let me up, and what do you know I just kept cumming and cumming and cumming.

  At one point he had me pinned up against the headboard of the bed, fucking me in a pretzel style that had me screaming because I couldn’t handle it anymore.  He finally realized I was serious and gave me a little break, lol.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack I was orgasming so much.  I mean it.

He also knew exactly what to do with his dick.  As does the Professor.  Stuff and positions that drive me crazy.  He, the Prof and the guy I mentioned above are my top three of all time. 

Another thing they all had in common was that they wanted to be called “Daddy” in bed.  Something about that just puts me through the roof and part of it is probably that I would never just say that to anyone.  It’s another form of taking control.  Something about the vulnerability of “going there” with a guy is like the ultimate turn on to me.

Mr. Firm, well, judging from the explosive first time sex we had, he may get there someday as well.  The way he stared into my eyes, the things he said to me, the forceful way he grabbed my body and did what he wanted, all those are indicators to me of a man that can rock my world.  I have a big thing for experiencing all that masculine power between the sheets.

Even the Producer, the last time we had sex was hotter than usual and I think it was because I was still half dressed.  I was wearing heels and he had me bent over the bed and I kept sliding in them across the carpet so couldn’t fully stand up.  He just ignored it and pounded away.  Then he had me lying on my back with my legs up and the fact that I was still wearing them added to that helpless feeling.  I dunno why I love that so much but I do.

So for me the top turn ons are a really dominant guy who also can sweet talk me.  If he’s saying sexy things to me (but not mean, like calling me a whore or something) and at the same time fucking me forcefully I just lose it.  Completely.  Something about that sweet, sexy, voice and also knowing what to do with his cock puts me over the edge.  If he can go down on me and do it in a dominant way then he is like top of the list too (Mr. Firm was good at that…as is the Married Man…mmmmm….).

Some people get upset by rape-ish fantasies and it seems all the more difficult these days to find men that can indulge them without misunderstanding. (By that I mean understanding that I don’t like any real pain and still want to feel a connection.) Still, when they can….whew!  Not to say the Prof did that, because he didn’t, but he was still dominant and still really took control. 

Man, I’m getting all excited and I’m stuck here because my vehicle is in the shop.  The Producer is halfway across the US today at a party and no one else is nearby or available.  Dangit… 

There’s that guy that gave me the flowers and he keeps trying to hit me up but I know he would suck in bed, lol.  He was trying to convince me with lines like “I’ll make it really fast, just come by here for a couple minutes”.  Gee, that’s hot…NOT!!

I did a funny little experiment the other day, after this guy on my Facebook posted that if you want to know if a guy is really into you, ask him your eye color.  So I thought I’d play a little game and see if any of them got it right.  Wanna know who did?  My Fuck Buddy!!  Hahaha  

I told him what the guy had posted and he was like “that guy is an idiot”.  Lmao…yeah, I didn’t figure he was all that “into me” anyhow.  My eyes are olive green…see the pic?

eye<

  Yet most of them said “hazel”. 

The Married Man guessed light brown or light green.  Mr. Firm said “hazel or multicolored” and I told him he gets a pass, since we just met, lol. The Pilot ignored me (though we’ve talked a tiny bit, I wished him a Happy Birthday via text and he chatted just a little but I think he’s still mad) and the Producer tried to argue with me that olive green and hazel are “the same”.  He was googling pics and trying to convince me that he is actually “into me” lmao!!  My FWB, who I haven’t seen in ages, said hazel but then was like “I could identify your eyes among 100 pairs”.  Yeah, yeah….  I didn’t ask the guy I had the affair with because he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt.  He always talks about my “green eyes”. 

I avoided asking the young guy or the one who gave me flowers or any of the ones I think are into me but where I don’t return the sentiment.  I’m still not talking to the Prof.  He looked at my swinger pics once again but I’m too upset with the Facebook shenanigans to have anything to do with him at this point.  Ugh. 

Anyhow, will see the Producer in a couple of days so not like I’m going sexless any time soon.  😉  He is having to find a new place for when he is in town and may get one closer to me.  Not sure what that is all about but it’s interesting anyway.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

 

P.S.  I do exactly what is in the picture sometimes, ha!!  Trying to keep from guys going in too deep!! 

Missed opportunity? :/

gb

So Mr. Firm is off in another state with his old buddies from college now.  He had actually invited me to come along tonight, though I had some doubts as to whether or not that would work out.  He mentioned it before we had sex and I said I would think about it and let him know afterwards, once we had met in person. While we were lying in bed talking, after orgasms, he brought it up again. 

At first I wasn’t sure.  I don’t know anything about these men, have never so much as seen a picture, and didn’t know how much pressure I would be under to sleep with them.  However, he said they were both attractive, both policemen and both able to get plenty of pussy on their own so there wouldn’t be any pressure if I didn’t want to play with them.  

I still wondered, because first of all this is their little male bonding trip, lol.  I didn’t want to be tagging along like a ball and chain, though I didn’t say so out loud.  He had all his golf clubs there with him at the hotel and was telling me all about their plans to go out at night.  He mentioned that we could all go out to the club together that night and end up doing whatever afterwards. 

Either way, it’s a little over a 2 hour drive, so lots of gas money….and time.  Still, it was starting to sound tempting.  I totally could see myself as the center of attention with 3 handsome, athletic men in a hotel room, haha.  I know I’ve said before that I was done with this kind of thing, due to experiences when I was younger, but I’d be lying if I said there aren’t SOME things about it that are appealing.

What mostly holds me back isn’t that it doesn’t sound hot, but fear.  The fear isn’t anything about how I would experience the sex myself but about how THEY might view it, or treat me afterwards.  I’ve come across way too many men that see acts like this as degrading to a woman.  If their attitude was positive, then great, it could be a lot of fun but if not, then I could be left feeling pretty awful, or even abandoned.  Abandonment is a big issue for me and these guys both live a couple states away in different directions so unlikely I would see them again.

Mr. Firm is pretty cool and I don’t get the feeling he’d be that way at all.  Still, the other guys, I know nothing about.  Well, I know one is on the swinger site, and the other wants to be but isn’t yet.  They are both in relationships (no idea if swinging is “approved” by their significant others or not) and were in Mr. Firm’s fraternity in college and played sports together.  He says they had a bit of popularity due to having a great team and winning all the time, and got involved in some pretty crazy amounts of sex back then too.  So they aren’t rookies or anything, lol, but they heard about swinging and his success on the site from Mr. Firm and thought it sounded fun.

Still, knowing all that, it was sounding tempting to me, and I probably would have made the trip down there.  In the end though, it was Mr. Firm’s decision that we’d maybe be better off not and risking an awkward situation.  I’d told him that I couldn’t promise or guarantee that I would sleep with them until after meeting and wouldn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun if I got down there and didn’t want to do it.  He totally understood and said the guys were law enforcement officers so wouldn’t want to make me uncomfortable in any way. 

Sigh…. I didn’t want to appear pushy or overeager in any way so I didn’t really let him know how likely I would probably have been to do it.  A mistake?  Maybe.  But then he may have just been using that as an excuse to not have me in the way of their going out and having guy time and I didn’t want to mess with that either.  Or maybe his friends decided I was butt ugly and didn’t want to fuck with me, haha.  Doubtful though, I don’t generally seem to have that issue with men.  Could be they just weren’t into the group idea and wanted to find women for themselves, or already did last night, haha.  I wouldn’t doubt that at all! 😉

 Part of me was thinking these guys are way too “nice” and disappointed that it didn’t work out.  But at the same time, it may be for the best.  Mr. Firm has made it pretty clear that he wants to see me again.  He says he really wished it could have worked out and he didn’t mean with me just being with all them.  I was like “Oh, I’m not saying that couldn’t be fun, lmao, just can’t guarantee anything”…and I can’t, but still…it COULD have been fabulous.  He commented on how much of a blast he had the other night and that he likes me even more because I am so easygoing.  Blah…

He’s been cool as a cucumber so far but now I wonder if I’ll ever have that kind of opportunity with him again.  He’s probably put me into the “doesn’t do that sort of thing” category.  Booo!  His attitude here at the end (and maybe he was getting it from the other guys because he said they were talking about it) was that he wouldn’t want to put me in an uncomfortable situation.  Then he sort of acted like he thought it might be degrading towards me or something.  Or, like he likes me too much now to want to share.  Dammit! 

It’s kind of like this guy who gave me the flowers and wants to get to “second base”.  He looked at my cleavage when we were sitting on the couch together the other night and was like “I’m going to be good”.  I even made a comment about how he didn’t need to be but he never tried anything.  Then afterwards he texted to say how bad he had wanted me!!  He asked if I would have done anything with him and I said yeah, probably, and he freaked out!  My phone rang and it was him demanding to know WHY I would have done something with him that night??  I was like “why not??”  and he said he was kicking himself now.  SMDH….

I hate it that men seem to think they need to treat me as innocent and sexually delicate.  I really like it when a man gets more aggressive about things, though a lot of guys seem to confuse that with PUSHY, which I don’t like.  I mean the two cops?  Come on, did they think I was going to cry rape after agreeing to sleep in a hotel room with 3 men?  Um, not unless I’d blatantly told them NO and they kept pushing or something. 

Speaking of pushy, this young guy that I slept with last year keeps harassing me to see him tonight.  His texting is driving me nuts.  Just another reason I’m not that into the younger guys.  I told him sorry I couldn’t make it tonight and he just keeps pushing and pushing and asking why and saying he can come over and help me with whatever needs to get done.

I don’t like dealing with the immaturity and even though he’s really cute I just don’t have the desire to fuck him.  When I did it felt weird, like he was too wowed by my “older woman” skills or something, haha.  He’s 13 years younger than me and it makes me feel a little bit creepy and awkward.  I really need someone who can dominate me and it’s hard to get in that mental state with someone so young.

 Really, I just am not interested in seeing him right now.  He wasn’t offering to take me anywhere and just wants to come to my house, which means extra cleaning and work that I don’t feel like doing tonight.  I want a break and the Producer will be here at a hotel tomorrow so it’s not like I won’t be getting some more sex.  So here I am writing my blog!! 😉  Hope all of you all are having a more exciting night than me!!

 

 

Sigh….

radar

So the Producer is texting me now, worried about whether or not I am fucking anyone else.  He’s not really been asking me that until now.  What does he have some sonar radar?  LOL  I’ve not acted suspicious in any way.  Plus, we are supposed to be just FWB, his idea.  He once claimed to have slept with some woman at a swinger bar since I met him. 

 

Anyhow, here’s how the texts went (totally out of the blue):

 

Him: So have you been holding out for me… Or has someone else hit it?  LOL

Me: Do you really wanna know?  Lol  Someone has hit it once since I met you.  How about you?

Him:  Since we last saw each other

Me:  Is that what you are asking or telling me?  Why do you want to know?

Him:  Asking…just curious

Me: Yeah

Him:  What makes you want to keep fucking me?  What separates the two situations?

Me:  Why wouldn’t I?  I just met this guy.  He is a swinger, lives in ****** and is in a long term open relationship with the mother of his child.  He just happened to be coming through.

Me:  I like you, the time spent together, the sex.   Has nothing to do with anyone else.

Him:  I gotcha…. was it good…lol?

Me:  Lol…It was fun enough.

Him:  I need to Men in Black ya… so you forget about his dick and the experience…Lol

Me:  Hahaha…what is “Men in Black” me? LMAO Never seen the movie….

Him:  Make you look into the baton and zap your memory.

Me:  Lol, I wouldn’t mind seeing your baton 😉 😉 😉

Him:  You sure..I’m not doing a good enough job keeping that pussy occupied

 

Sigh….  ugh…  Are men really even capable of doing the fwb/do what you want/open/swinger thing without jealousy and possessiveness creeping in?  Sometimes I have my doubts.  What’s funny is he never answered whether or not HE has been doing anything!!  He IS in another state and has been in a few over the past week or so and went to at least one pool party and said today he’d had “fun”.  Somehow I have the feeling there is a double standard in effect here. 

 

UPDATE: Suspicion confirmed….

I pressed him about whether or not HE had been with anyone and after a long time he finally answered.

“Yes ma’am. In *****. An executive from the ***** industry. It was a one time situation… Something both of us wanted to get out our system. And never crossed that line before but were at the pool party together and just hooked up afterwards… Lust”

I was like “see, and it wasn’t anything I did wrong. You just wanted to ;)”

He said that he never said he did….um, okay, hahaha

It’s a very firm “yes” to this one ;)

firm man

I’ve kept quiet for a bit because I’ve been in a bit of emotional turmoil over things with the Professor, but I met with a new man last night and had a blast.  I think I’ll refer to him as “Mr. Firm” 😉  That suits him in more ways than one and he works as an IT manager at a law firm.  He’s also very athletic, played football and baseball in college and still coaches his kid’s teams and is in great shape.

The Professor, well, it’s pretty much the same old same old so not going to dwell too much on that.  He contacted me again and I was a bit snappy.  I told him if he doesn’t think I am good enough to be his Facebook friend then he’s probably not good enough to be my friend in real life.  He said he didn’t mean to hurt me, but why else would you reject someone’s request like that?  What’s another Facebook friend, seriously? He tried to claim he hadn’t been on Facebook at all and I said well, a week was plenty enough time for him to get on there and either accept me or delete the married woman, like he said he was going to.  He hasn’t, as suspected, and I’m pretty damn sure he never will. 

I don’t know or get his reasoning for treating me that way but it pisses me off.  Then he tries to send me sad faces and act like it bothers him and saying “ok, I’ll just leave you alone”.  Whatever.  His Facebook rejection was upsetting me so much it was keeping me up at night worrying and wondering why he didn’t want me there.  If he really cared there IS something he could do about it but it’s his CHOICE not to.  I’m not going to keep going on with him as long as I’m being seen as substandard in some way to this woman.  It’s just way too insulting.

So the past several days I’ve kind of been throwing myself into housecleaning and preparing for the upcoming school year.  It’s keeping my mind off of him.  I also went out with the Producer, who took me to the fair and we rode rides together.  He let me drive his car which was nice, though he was making jokes about people thinking I’m his “sugar mama”.  Not so sure I like that but whatever, he’s the one paying for stuff. 😉  He is making some kind of plans to take me out for my birthday later in the month so excited about that too!  Yay!! It’s fun to get a little spoiled once in a while! 😉

Sex with the Producer is still pretty much the same though it was better than usual the last time we got together.  I was about to start my period and am always super horny the day before. What’s crazy is that I started 5 days late.  I wasn’t freaking out TOO much since the Producer was the only one I’ve slept with lately and he’s good about pulling out but yeah, that was a little stressful.  I think maybe the stress and worry of things with the Prof and the Fuck Buddy and everything combined may have just gotten to me.

Offhand, I also met again with that guy who gave me the flowers awhile back if any of you all remember him.  He works with homeless kids and is a personal trainer.  He’s really nice, but alas, that’s just it.  He doesn’t TRY anything on me!  Aside from making comments about WANTING to, he doesn’t actually DO it!!  GRRR….  Way too shy for me.  I really need a more aggressive man.  He’s cute though!  Just hate passivity in men, it turns me off.  That and his comments over text are things like “are you going to let me get to second base next time?”.  What are we in Junior High?  LMAO  I’ll be 37 in a couple weeks and guys are asking to get to second base…SMFH.

So anyhow, last night I finally got to meet this guy I’ve been waiting on.  Mr. Firm.  Mmmmmm…. 

I met Mr. Firm on the swinger site.  He’s got twice as many validations as even the Pilot or the Professor and has been doing this for quite a while.  From what I read I had no doubt he was going to be good in the sack.  He is also good at communicating over email and text.  I was liking him before we ever met and figured he would be the most promising of the several guys I’ve been chatting with.

He’s not annoying and doesn’t text constantly and he’s in a long term relationship with the mother of his child.  He says they have an open relationship and only play when travelling, so he plays more often but she is allowed to also.  I asked if they swing together and he says they have occasionally but mostly don’t because they have found it is easier and helps keep out drama just not to discuss it.

I’ve been picking his brain a bit on this because I am curious how they manage to work it all out.  According to him they started out monogamous but would go on camping trips with friends which evolved into sexcapades and eventually lead them to swinging.  After the baby was born she was less interested in playing but now that the child is older she sometimes does and he keeps on quite a bit.  She plays with other men, but not couples.  He does both and he says it turns him on, not off, to see a woman fucking another guy.  I had to test him a bit on this before sending him any pics of me in action due to my recent experience with my Fuck Buddy.

In fact, he has invited me to join him and two other guys at a hotel here soon in another state. They are guys he went to school and played sports with, from his Fraternity. (Damn, here I am contemplating Frat boys again). I’m actually REALLY tempted, lol.  I know I have said I’m not into gangbangs but in this scenario, well, let’s just say it sounds HOT!!  So, we will see and if I have any updates I’ll let you all know but don’t want to say too much too soon. 😉  There’s no pressure since he says both the men are attractive and have no problems getting plenty of pussy on their own.  We’d all be going out together so there’s no telling what could happen in the end.

Speaking of attractive, Mr. Firm is way hotter than the pictures he sent me online!!  He reminds me of so many guys I’ve been with all at once, it’s funny.  His face is like a combination of my FWB and this guy that was a FWB of mine back in high school.  Well the guy was in college at the time and a basketball player but last I heard he was moving off to the Ivory Coast.  Haven’t seen or heard from him since.  We had a great, drama free thing going on though. Anyhow, I picked the picture above because I think it looks a little bit like him, though he’s bald 😉

In bed, OMG, he is fantastic and reminds me in many ways of both the Professor and the Married Man, in other ways he is a bit like the Pilot.  All good news!!  He’s still not quite on par with the Married Man, but he’s pretty damn good!!  I have my doubts that anyone is going to make it to that level, lol and the Prof and I just had this emotional thing in the bedroom that I can’t  really explain and no one’s gotten there yet either. 

Still, WOW!! 😀  I’m quite happy with what transpired last night!!  Haha!  He’s very dominant and fabulous with his tongue.  He managed to make me cum maybe 4 or 5 times and once even made me squirt with his fingers.  I’m still not sold on the squirting thing though.  I just don’t like the way it feels near as much as a regular orgasm.  I think it hurts and that detracts from my enjoyment.  I’ve only experienced a for sure squirting thing once before though, with my Fuck Buddy, and really I wouldn’t necessarily know that I haven’t done it other times as well.

He likes to kiss and has a perfect, somewhere around 8 inch, cock.  With the lack of kissing from the Producer I kind of miss that so I love having someone I can get more passionate with.  We were in all kinds of positions and I loved the way he talked to me in bed.  Mmmm… He had asked me beforehand what really turns me on and I mentioned my love of hearing a sexy man’s voice during sex.  He wasn’t like, talking the whole time, lol, but it was good.

I loved the way he’d just grab my legs and yank me across the bed to another position (the Married Man does that too) and how he’d put it ALL the way in and just hold it there, waiting for me to squirm (the Prof and some others do that too, hot).  He loved having his nipples licked and sucked on, haha, which seems to be typical of the guys I’ve been running into lately (the Pilot was really into that).  He came REALLY hard which turns me on even more.  Right before he was asking where I wanted him to cum and when I said “in my mouth” you should have seen the look on his face, haha.  😉

Afterwards he was telling me how good it was and saying he was definitely going to have to travel this way again.  Mmmhhmm….  I always wonder what makes guys say that since I don’t feel like I do anything that unusual in the bedroom but he was all WOW about it too.  🙂 🙂 🙂

I thought I’d be bothered a bit by the fact that he has someone at home but I’m really not.  It doesn’t feel as awkward since he doesn’t talk to her about his playing and it’s more of a don’t ask, don’t tell arrangement.  He says he might like to go to a party with me sometime as well!  Hopefully soon I’ll have more to tell….