Was I wrong?

Tonight I am questioning myself and the conclusions I jumped to regarding the Pilot.  Maybe I was wrong.  Maybe he really was telling the truth and I assumed the worst about him.  If so, then I was totally unfair. 

Yes, he did sign up for a party right after cancelling on me but his excuse, that I had blocked him or he wouldn’t have done it, may have been a valid one.  He may have reacted to my actions with anger and signed up to spite me.  Not very nice but then neither was deleting our profile we had just created.  That cost him money too. :/

We haven’t spoken but I’m debating apologizing to him.  Even if I was RIGHT then I probably shouldn’t have called him an asshole.  To be fair he didn’t react in kind. 

I’m not saying I’m okay with being cancelled on at the last minute, but it was a first time offense.  He’s never done anything else to piss me off before and actually seemed to like me quite a bit.  That may have changed now and I’m not expecting anything to go back the way it was but I’m thinking the right thing may be to apologize anyhow.

A couple things got me thinking in that direction and one was my date with the Producer last night.  He took me out to a bar that is run by some swingers here in town and we were chatting when the topic came up about what had happened with the Pilot.  Even though he was jealous of him before he was like you STILL haven’t forgiven him for that?  He said I was “harsh” and he wouldn’t want to be on my bad side, that he was going to try and avoid pissing me off, haha.

Then tonight, the Married Man texted me wanting to hook up.  His wife is out of town and if you all recall, the last time this happened he stood me up and I got pretty pissed at him.  Nevertheless, he’s too amazing in bed to stay mad at for long and I finally agreed to try and work with him on some last minute plans.  Okay, if I can forgive him repeatedly (because he’s pulled this crap several times), how can I be so angry with the Pilot for doing the same thing?

Well, guess what happened with Mr. Married Man?  He cancelled on me AGAIN!  Only this time I actually believe it was for a legit reason.  He got injured playing ball and cut his mouth open and said his tooth almost went through his lip.  He was texting me pics of it and asking what he could do to stop the bleeding.  It was actually kind of cute because he seemed to think I was going to know what to do and kept asking me questions.  What does he think I am, a nurse?  LMAO.  Fortunately I did know how to help because I have some very active boys and have spent far too much time in the ER. 

After things settled down a bit and he told me he was in so much pain he wanted to cry, he says he wouldn’t be able to go down on me if I came up and sent me a sad face.  He said he wanted to be able to satisfy my whole body and not just with his dick if I was going to travel all that way (he lives near the Pilot).  He was like “I am soo sorry”, and this time I feel like it was sincere.  I mean, sometimes people really do just feel “not up to” having sex and want to give you their best.  It’s possible that could really have been the case with the Pilot.

I know some of you all on my blog were questioning too.  I don’t know.  Maybe I should just suck it up and say I am sorry.  Of course from there he could still be really pissed or unforgiving but I guess the outcome isn’t really what matters.  My biggest concern with that is that he really WAS being an ass and then I am making a fool of myself or letting him take advantage of me, but if it ever happened again then I guess I would know.  Seriously considering it.  I feel bad for blowing up at him.

While I was mad at the Pilot, I spent a little time talking to the Professor.  He says he misses me.  He made some comment about me not believing him about things that made me wonder if I’m extra suspicious.  I know I’m not the most trusting person on earth.  I’ve been lied to way too many times. 

Anyhow, he sounds sad, and says he really hasn’t played much since he was with me.  He said only with some people he knew before and once at a party he went to but acted like none of it was that great.  According to him he’s only been with that married woman once this entire year, the time we got in an argument.  I told him a little about the Pilot and what happened because he knew about our couples profile and that I’d been to a party with someone.  He seemed a bit jealous that I have been going out and getting laid more than he says he has.

Then he was sending me pics of what he ate for dinner, lobster and some kind of avocado and tomato salad and telling me he was thinking of me when he made it. I do love my avocadoes and raw tomatoes, lol.  We haven’t talked a whole lot since.  He keeps saying he misses me but he’s not making any moves to get me back in bed. 

I talked with my fuck buddy recently for a bit and we even discussed the possibility of going to a party together.   Not sure if we will do that but looking forward to sex with him again, it’s been awhile. He has started bringing up anal though and I can’t say I’m all that excited about that.  It’s like seriously, the guy with the huge 9 inch, thick cock just HAS to be the one that wants to fuck me in the ass, lol.  I was like your dick is way too big for that kind of activity!   Of course he claims his ex- wife hated it at first but then got used to it and would ride him reverse cowgirl anal and he loved it.  Sigh….

Actually, lately, the person I’ve been seeing the most of is the Producer.  He’s been coming through here about twice a week.  I haven’t really been pushing the gold digging thing but he seems quite happy to offer things on his own.  He says he wants to take me to Vegas with him in the fall and then maybe on a cruise in the Bahamas.  Hey, I can handle that! 😉 

Each time we meet up he makes sure to take me out and do SOMETHING with me so that is fun. He says he doesn’t want it to be “just sex”.  He’s also talking about doing something special for my birthday next month, so we will see.

Once he brought up wanting a threesome with this woman he says he has slept with here before.  She is like 21 and blonde and he sent me pics and I’m wondering why the hell he always wants to see ME instead of her then when he is here, but whatever.  He keeps saying what incredible pussy I have.  I can’t help that. 😉  He’s like, “it’s just sooo SOFT and wet and hot and GOOD”.  He says he can’t believe I’ve had kids. Yeah…  well, what can I say?  LMAO  (Other than one of my kids was 9 ½ lbs with a big head and I had them all natural, guess it hasn’t damaged THAT area too badly anyway).

He’s still bent on becoming the “best sex ever” for me and wants me to rate his performance afterwards and tell him what a big dick he has all the time, but whatever, I guess I can oblige that, haha.  Shaking my head…. The sex isn’t bad.  It’s not off the charts spectacular but it’s still fun!! 

When we were at the bar last night we met a single woman that we struck up a conversation with and she and I exchanged numbers.  This is more likely a hangout thing than a sex thing, though she was having an issue with being in a fight with a current lover while her fuck buddy on the side cancelled for the night.  She seems like she might be fun though, so you never know. We were texting a bit back and forth last night but I was decidedly tipsy.  I also sent a drunk I miss you text to the Professor. He said he misses me too and sent a sad face.  :/  Dangit I’m just all kinds of confused right now.

 

12 thoughts on “Was I wrong?

    • Yeah. It’s hard to say what was really on his mind. When I look back over the texts though, it is possible that he was legit. It’s just hard to know for sure. Like he claimed to be at home when I thought he was going to that party. I don’t know. I know he’s going out of town this weekend. Debating sending him a text or email. He may be too pissed to forgive me at this point if I’m the one that actually overreacted but you never know.

      • Maybe he will… or he might not. I think that at this point it’s a question of whether or not you’d feel better about yourself if you did apologize; salvaging the situation is also a crap-shoot but one should always hope for the best – but expect the worse.

      • Maybe he will… or he might not. I think that at this point it’s a question of whether or not you’d feel better about yourself if you did apologize; salvaging the situation is also a crap-shoot but one should always hope for the best – but expect the worse.

      • Exactly. I told him that I am sorry for not giving him a fair chance and assuming the worst about him. So it’s up to him to decide what to do with that info. I feel better apologizing though because I really did kind of flip my lid over it.

  1. Regarding the pilot is very hard to offer advice because I don’t really know how you are.
    If it was me I would probably just walk away from him completely and take it as a lesson of what to do next time when a similar situation pops up but as KDaddy said you need up do what’s good for you. What’s going up make you feel better.
    Good luck girl
    xoxo

    • Yeah, I feel bad for assuming the worst about him. I sent him a quick apology text a little while ago. He may never respond but at least I let him know that I recognize I didn’t give him a fair chance.

      • If he doesn’t than my advice it to move on… You said your peace and can be happy that you made me him aware. It’s all you can do at this point.
        This is just my humble opinion. 🙂
        xoxo

      • Doing this for your own piece of mind is what counts. I think you can now have closer and move on. 🙂
        xoxoxo

    • Yeah, I wasn’t really expecting him to reply and he hasn’t. So who knows? Maybe he really wasn’t that interested to begin with, or was actually being an ass, or even I pissed him off enough for him to not feel forgiving but in any case I’m not about to chase after him. Just thought I’d let him know I realized I could have overreacted.

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