Almost compersion…(but not quite)

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This weekend the Professor fucked someone else….and I didn’t even get upset at all. I’m kind of proud of myself! 🙂 This is usually hard for me so maybe I’m on my way to that enlightenment thing after all. 😉

There were several contributing factors that I think made it easier than times before but there were also some stumbling blocks that you would think would have made it difficult. Still I did okay despite it all. I never felt upset with him in the least and am actually slightly even happy that he did. Not jumping up and down happy, but glad that things seem more “fair” than they have the past few months when I’ve really been the only one playing (though he did go to two different swinger parties on his own he says he didn’t have sex with anyone there and he met up with his married friend and her husband recently but also due to circumstances they didn’t sleep together that time).

Anyhow, he was travelling for work and coaching in another city and state a few hours away from here. When he left he said he didn’t have any plans but he had a lot of extra free time in his schedule the day before their game so I was prepared that he might, and he promised to let me know. When he arrived he texted a picture of the suite he’d been set up with and I was thinking, yeah, that would be a shame to sit in a place like that by yourself all night alone…thinking he’d find something to do.

In any case, not long after he got there he texted to let me know he’d been invited to a house party (by some people off the swinger site). He said it would be 5-6 couples and a few single men. He was going to dinner first with the team and afterwards he’d go there. He’d never met any of the people previously. Chances were pretty good he’d end up having sex, though he said he didn’t know for sure.

Meanwhile, I was stuck at home. My kids Dad was out of town and not taking them this weekend, plus I was on my period. Stuck as a duck in quicksand. I didn’t complain though and just asked a few questions. He was very sweet and reassuring, which made me happy because I’ve asked for the reassurance in the past and not felt like I’ve gotten it from him. So even if it was just stuff he was saying to be nice it made me feel better.

Here’s a bit of our text conversation after he told me he’d been invited to the party (minus a few details of time and place/names):

Me: So is that what you are doing tonight?

Prof: I’m still gonna eat with my team. Then I’ll go after that

Me: Ok. Is that like a big orgy or what?

Prof: Is that ok?

Me: You are free to do whatever you want.

Prof: I don’t think so. But they didn’t say that. Most people coming they say they haven’t met.

Me: I’ve never been to a house party. I’m sure you’ll sleep with someone though.

Prof: Would be nice if you were with me though.

Me: Aw 🙂

Me: Miss you. Have fun ok? I’ll try not to stress.

Prof: Not necessarily. I’ve been to a couple but I’ve always known people there. So first time I won’t know anyone.

Prof: It’s hard for people to keep their hands off of you.

Me: Is XXXX a couple or a group that has parties?

Prof: Don’t stress at all. You’re freaking hot and you make me cum so hard.

Me: Oh, I’m sure they’ll have their hands all over you, lol

Prof: Just saying that’s not always the case.

Prof: Plus, you make me look good. 🙂

Me: LMAO. You look good on your own baby. 😉

Me: So will you text after you get back? Or whenever they leave if you bring someone back to your hotel?

Prof: Thanx. But people really want to fuck you!!! And I know why 😉

Me: 🙂 🙂 Thank you. They want to fuck you too, lol. And so do I. Miss you.

Prof: If you want me to I will. But I don’t plan on bringing anyone back because I’m 30 min away from them.

Prof: Well thanks, but guys are a dime a dozen. Miss you too.

I’ll spare you all the rest cause I was basically just reiterating please text me when you get back and he said he would and then later texted to tell me the restaurant name of where he was eating and that it reminded him of me. Then I didn’t hear from him for about 4 hours.

Meanwhile I discovered one of my children had HEAD LICE. OMG!! What an effing nightmare!!! SO, I set to work washing and checking heads on mine and random neighborhood kids that were staying the night. UGH, UGH, UGH!! Thankfully only two of mine had it and one has very short hair but yeah, I had to do like 20 loads of laundry and wash and rewash and pick and repick heads and attempt to do my own. I think we are all clear but I’ll be checking every day for at least a week. Yuck!

In any case that kept me busy and maybe was a bit of a blessing in disguise because I didn’t have much time to even think about what the Professor was doing.

When he finally texted later that night he said he had just played with one woman. They went into a bedroom to have sex and her husband watched. He said the party was fun and all the people were nice and social, that the woman was “ok” and that it “would have been more fun” if I had been there. I asked if he thought he’d play with her again and he said he didn’t know, he couldn’t even remember their names.

In any case, his sweetness towards ME made me feel like I didn’t have much to worry about, plus the fact that it seemed to be more of a casual thing and not someone he’s particularly into. So that helped. Probably a lot. I waited awhile to tell him what I’d been going through and he was appropriately sympathetic, lol. Nightmare!!

It’s been a couple days and I’m still not feeling bad about it or anything so I guess that’s good. I’m supposed to see him later in the week. I’m trying not to wonder things like how many hours they were together or what they did. That and I’ve mostly felt like it probably won’t change our relationship at all. I think that’s always a slight fear when someone you are into is with someone else. Is this going to make US any different or how he feels about ME? In this case I think not so it’s not so much of a threat.

I admit I did take a peek at his profile on the swinger site today, to see if the people had validated or said anything about him on there and out of curiosity as to who it was. I didn’t see anything though. Maybe that’s for the best. The more I know the more it COULD have the propensity to bother me or have me making those comparisons.

For now though, I’m ALMOST to that state of compersion. I said “almost”, don’t get too excited, lol. Also, I have some possible plans in the making with a guy halfway across the country who wants to fly me out for some fun soon. I’m not banking on anything for sure until I have the plane tickets but I did mention it to the Professor a couple of weeks ago, so that he would have ample time to make plans if I do. He wasn’t thrilled but said he understood why I would be eager to go on an all expenses paid little mini vacation when it’s offered to me! Anyway, if I do end up getting to do something like that I’ll be a little happier knowing that the Professor has had a chance to have some fun too and less afraid of hurting him.

That’s all for now folks! 🙂

3 thoughts on “Almost compersion…(but not quite)

  1. Pingback: Feeling abandoned :( | lifeofalovergirl

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