Stopping the stalkers…

stalker

I got a text last night from a number I don’t recognize and isn’t in my phone contacts. It was some sort of Youtube video with a random guy rapping. At first I didn’t open it because I thought it might be spam.

Instead I texted back whoever it was:

“Who is this?”

Creepy person: “Ur lover”

Me: “What?”

CP: “Yep, I still admire you a lot”

Me: “Who is this?”

CP: “Just figure it out”

CP: “Muah”

Me: “Who is this?”

No response after that. WTF?

The sad thing is that it could be any of a myriad of stalker guys I have collected in the past couple of years. I actually went into my T-mobile account this morning and figured out how to block numbers. Thank God for the Family Allowances plan, that I have also used to control my teenager’s phone and ground him from texting or calling anyone but me when he gets in trouble. Only problem is that it limits me to blocking only 10 numbers from my phone at a time. Apparently there are more guys harassing me than T-mobile can keep up with, or at least more numbers. Do these guys seriously think calling me from a DIFFERENT NUMBER is going to make me MORE INTERESTED in speaking to them? SMFH

Here’s the breakdown of the suspects I have blocked from my phone for now:

The DJ: This is a guy I met and had a one night stand with over a year ago. We went out on a date followed by returning to his house to show me his deejaying equipment. He even gave me a personalized CD which I later listened to and decided totally sucked and threw it in the trash, but that’s beside the point.

After messing around with his equipment for a bit I told him I’d really better get going. So he sat on the couch and pulled me over to him, yanked down my pants (which came off rather easily) and started licking. Then he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. As he started to pull off his pants I said wait, aren’t you going to wear a condom? He said yes and then proceeded to go right in WITHOUT one. After sex I said I really needed to go now and he wouldn’t let me get up. He pinned me down and went in for round two. I finally got out of there, but not before agreeing to let him take a couple of pictures (without my face).

In any case, his pushiness turned me off enough that I decided I never wanted to see him again. He, on the other hand had other plans. He told me he thought I was the perfect woman for him and he wanted to make me his girlfriend (despite me telling him quite clearly beforehand that I was only in this for NSA sex and wasn’t interested in more and him adamantly agreeing). I told him I was not interested in meeting him again but the emails and calls and texts continued. I decided ignoring him was my best bet. Then he would call from different numbers. Ignore, ignore, ignore and he will eventually go away right?

As luck would have it I was out on a date with a new guy at a Mexican restaurant in town when in walks the DJ with another woman. She looked, old, overweight and frumpy but they were clearly “together”. He saw me and later texted “YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!”

Okay, that should be the end of him now right? NOPE. He started sending me emails on the site where we met (Plenty of Fish) BEGGING me to see him again. One recently even said “I will do ANYTHING to be with you”.

I started getting random texts from numbers I don’t have in my phone with comments like “U really make me feel bad”. Could it be him? Quite possibly. He is at the top of my list for guilt inducing texts so I’m thinking there’s a good chance it’s him who texted me last night, plus the fact there was a video of some unknown rapper. Like who but a DJ would send me that? Never fear though, there are other possibilities.


The Coach
: Somewhere around the time I met the DJ guy last year I also met a man who coaches high school football. We went on a date to a bar. I was horny (ovulating) and in the mood for sex. This guy was huge and I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. He claimed to be cool with casual sex or a one night stand so I figured why not? He was sort of a rough and aggressive type and we had sex at his place which wasn’t bad except for him wanting me to bite his nipple. Like he wanted me to bite the hell out of it, nothing was hard enough. I think he wanted me to draw blood and I am totally not into that.

He too, refused to wear a condom. I had brought one along and he insisted he had a vasectomy and didn’t need it. So I offered to put it on for him. He claimed I did it wrong and ripped it off before going inside me. I didn’t have another one and of course neither did he.

When I was getting ready to leave he backed me up against the door and asked if there were any other guys in there, putting his hand between my legs. When I admitted yes he said he was going to make sure he was the only one from now on. Um, whatever, just let me leave.

So afterwards I told him I was only interested in a one night stand and nothing further. He didn’t believe me and tried to convince me otherwise. I started ignoring his texts and calls as well but I still get emails that I never respond to, begging. He was from Plenty of Fish as well
.
The Murderer: I met this guy on Plenty of Fish (notice a pattern here? Haha). We actually emailed like once or so and I had totally forgotten about him until I ran into him at Walmart. He recognized me from the website and despite my hair being in a ponytail, having kids with me and being a hot mess from just having worked out, he claimed I was way hotter in person. He followed me out to the parking lot to ask for my number. He seemed nice and decent and was kinda cute so I gave it to him and actually allowed him to pick me up at my house for our first date. I reasoned that he didn’t seem creepy in person and it was probably okay.

So, he took me out for dinner and halfway through informs me that he had spent 10 years in prison for a murder he says he didn’t commit. (That’s what they all say. Find me a guy in prison who admits to actually committing the crime. Yeah….) Nevertheless I ever so wisely allowed him to drive me back to his house, which was actually an extended stay hotel (yikes). There he gave me a foot rub. I was sitting on his bed. It was the fastest foot rub in the history of man. He lotioned up my feet and went to work and then jumped up and was like “okay, let’s go”. Whew…. He drove me back to my house, where he slipped $40 into my hand, claiming it was “for gas” and took off. WTF? I felt like a foot fetish whore.

A week or so later he sent me a picture of his dick. When I didn’t respond he sent a video. Now he occasionally texts asking to meet and I completely ignore him.

The Guy I Ditched: This was another fish out of POF. I must be fishing in the wrong pond, but he was also on Adult Friend Finder. He had contacted me on there too but I didn’t have a face pic so he didn’t know that. He seemed cool over text and email though he was a man of few words. His pics were pretty nice and I thought great he’d make a good fuck buddy since he didn’t talk much. Well, so much for that.

We met at a down- home, breakfast restaurant and fairly soon after meeting him I could tell he wasn’t quite right in the head. He was a truck driver. Something about him was “off” but I can’t put a finger on it. Head injury of some sort? I don’t know but turns out he was staying in a hotel RIGHT NEXT to the restaurant. CRAP. I didn’t really know the best way out of the situation and followed him back to his room. Thank God he had forgotten his key and had to run to the front desk to get it. Meanwhile I ran to my vehicle, jumped in and drove away.

He texted me feverishly afterwards, thinking it was just a case of nerves. Nope. I told him I decided I didn’t want to do it but that didn’t deter him from texting me again and again. In fact, I just got a text from him two days ago, asking me on another date. It’s been like a year since that first day too. Seriously? I never answer. Could he be my “secret admirer”?

The Cracked Egg: I met this guy at the grocery store. He came up to me asking me to inspect his eggs for him to see if any were cracked. Turns out he was pretty cracked himself. So anyway, he was very determined to talk to me. He followed me into the checkout line, telling me I looked like an “angel” and the checker thought we were together. I said no we were not and he was telling people all around us what a good couple we would make. I think I seemed a little unsure about that because the checker asked if I needed someone to help me out to the car and all I was buying were milk and eggs.

Nevertheless, he was actually kind of cute, despite being older (I think in his 50’s, but he was in great shape) and I kind of admired his persistence. After he followed me out to the car I talked to him a bit and finally agreed to exchange numbers. He gave me his business card (he worked as a personal trainer of some sort for men in a big prison) and later called to talk. At first he seemed fairly normal but then he got a little weird. He would call and want to have phone sex. I mostly didn’t say anything because I have kids around all time and he’d get all into it himself. He was asking me to call him “Master” on the phone and it was like dude, I don’t even know you. I’d try to get off the phone ASAP but he would try to get me to hold on until he got off.

He started claiming he wanted to be a dad to my kids (that he’d never met) and come and move in with us. Uh, yeah, no. Waaaay too fast for me and way too creepy. When I told him I wasn’t interested in that he’d insist that I needed it. I started ignoring him but he’d call me repeatedly, several times a day, from different phone numbers. I think he finally gave up. Think…..

The Weird Indian Guy: Okay, this guy I met on Craigslist and never met in person. First thing, he told me he was “black” but actually turned out to be an Indian dude. When he sent me his picture I was like what? Why would someone lie about their ethnicity/race? Huh? Like, I wasn’t going to figure that out? He later admitted to being Indian (like from India, not Native American). Okayyyy….

In any case he was also way older than he let on and oh, he happened to be married and live like an hour away. He was kind of weird and pushy sounding over the phone and in talking to him I decided he wasn’t my type and it just wasn’t going to work out and let him know. He tried to convince me otherwise but I was adamant about not wanting to see him. When he wasn’t accepting no for an answer I told him I had decided to see someone else. So he finally backed down and said that I should keep his number on hand in case that didn’t work out. Okay. End of that? Of course not! He started calling me repeatedly, even after I asked him to leave me alone. So I changed his name to “creepy dude” in my phone and never answered again. Still didn’t stop him from trying months down the road.

Oh, and we can’t forget my first ever online date and My First Ever Craigslist Encounter meet (we didn’t have sex). I was still married that time and having a little tiff with the guy I’d had an affair with. I knew he was sleeping around so I decided maybe it was time for me to explore my options too.

So I went out on a date with this guy I met off Craigslist. He was older, 44, he said. and I think I was 33 at the time. His picture was from kind of far away but he looked fairly handsome from that angle. For some reason the age difference sounded kinda hot and I liked him over email and text. We communicated for awhile before ever meeting in person and I finally got a chance to sneak out with him at lunchtime.

He took me to a sandwich shop. I was sooo afraid of getting caught that I was a little jumpy and it didn’t help that the first time I saw him he walked up BEHIND me in the parking lot. Scared the tar out of me and almost made me jump out of my skin, lol. Much to my surprise he looked more like he was 65 than 44. Old enough to be my grandpa.

I ordered a lemonade but declined a sandwich, knowing this wasn’t going to work. We sat there and talked while a table of younger military dudes were smiling and winking at me behind him. I was totally embarrassed because this guy was just ancient and not very cute. He must have sent me a picture from like 25 years ago! The only thing recognizeable were his eyebrows, which were sort of thick and bushy.

I was in a hurry to get out of there but he wanted to sit in my vehicle and talk. I told him no I couldn’t and thankfully got rid of him quickly. I was worried he would follow me so took off as fast as I could. He emailed me for ages afterwards, telling me how beautiful I am and how much he liked me. Yeah, that made me feel pretty bad. I politely told him that I had decided it wasn’t a good idea for me to go through with things with him but he kept contacting me for a long time.

He blamed it on my nerves, like other guys have as well. Damn nerves, they keep a virginal girl like me from having sex all the time… I think I finally got rid of him, but you never know. I doubt he’d have sent me the rap video though, probably not someone his age.

Then of course there is the guy from the post I wrote the other day Pressure on Dates….Uggghhh. He’s fairly recent so still a possibility. I’m sure I haven’t even gotten them all. I will admit that at times I have sucked at being FLAT OUT CLEAR that I am not interested fast enough. It is something I really need to work on. Thankfully, the majority of these guys are still lurking around from pretty far in the past (like over a year) and I feel I am getting more firm with people. I’m definitely getting practice anyway!

Also, the sex with guys I don’t plan on continuing on with is going down because I am coming to believe that men may actually be worse than women stereotypically are when it comes to being ditched after a one night stand. So much for the myth that men are always the ones to pump and dump! Sometimes women are guilty of doing the same thing, we just expect men to be able to handle it better. We think THEY are the ones after a one night stand. Ha!

Only thing is that you don’t always know. Sometimes I don’t want to continue on with a guy after sex because we are a sexual mismatch and that can be hard for men to cope with. Fortunately most guys give up after a few attempts at meeting afterwards but some will keep it up for years. I don’t like to make expectations either way beforehand because it really all depends on the chemistry and the guy and how it all pans out.

Yeah, I could go to never having sex on the first date but I am so dang impatient and pressed for time! My main goals right now are to screen guys better on first dates and work on making my decisions more surely and quickly and to be more firm when saying NO. That doesn’t always stop him from continuing to harass me forever though. Of course there’s always common sense, like not going back to someone’s hotel room if I am not feeling him or if he just happens to be a murderer. :p But I digress… I’m gonna have to make some serious usage of this blocking feature. Maybe after realizing they are blocked for a month or so they will quit and I can filter out the old numbers and add in new ones if need be, lol.

16 thoughts on “Stopping the stalkers…

  1. I never really thought about the idea that men could be as bad or worse than the stereotypical woman after a one night stand. I’m sorry that you have run into so many creeps. Totally not my fault, lol, but I apologize for my gender. lol The thing is your guys aren’t looking to have a relationship with you, they just want to keep sleeping with you. As I found out from my own “date” last night, guys can be ridiculous and pathetic in their attempts to “woo” women.

      • I haven’t written that up yet. I’ve got two encounters that I’ve got to write about. Stay tuned…lol

  2. A conviction for murder – wow that’s a major ‘by the way…’.
    Totally agree that men are often far worse than women for not taking a let-down well after a one night stand. Try and let them down nicely and they think you’re just saying ‘maybe another time’ instead of ‘you were crap in bed’. I’ve only had to be brutally honest once, and I was so proud of it I kept the text!

    • I know right? “By the way…..” Hahaha It’s so true that a lot of times the reason is because of bad sex too and being nice doesn’t seem to get the message across. I bet I would be proud of a text like that too! It’s hard to tell a guy straight up what was wrong!!

  3. Sheesh. I almost feel like I’m not doing my job right if I’m not gathering stalkers like you are! 😉

    I’ve never had a one-night stand, so I can’t weigh in on that discussion. But I wouldn’t continually contact a woman who would never responded, so I’m not like these men you’re talking about anyway.

  4. Ok so I full on laughed for like ten minutes after “foot fetish whore”, and I’m still laughing now. There are a whole world of freaking nut jobs out there but let’s be honest, as freaky as they are and as bad as the tales maybe, it sure makes for entertaining reading!!!!

    You actually inspired one of my blog posts from the Pressure in Dates post…. Your blog always gets me thinking. Or laughing. Either way, I love it.

    Personally I reckon the old guy with the bad eyebrows sent the rap video…. None of the rest of them have made any sense bahahaha!

    You should start taking bets in which one sent it 😉

    xoxoxo

    • LMAO. I don’t always date murderers, but when I do they pay money to rub my feet! ;):) haha I opened my POF account today and lo and behold another message from the DJ. It said “I miss you”. Seriously, when he knew me like a total of under 4 hours and I haven’t seen him in over a year or responded to any of his messages? Wtf? Lol I’m still suspecting him but then i noticed the rap song had some sort of Christian theme and the murderer liked to listen to Christian music in the car. Scary, lol. Why does this person “admire” me anyway? For ignoring their messages? Ha!

  5. I literally laughed my ass off, (I refrain from using LMAO, that’s just tacky) but your adventures sounds a lot like mine ten years ago. I was a serial online dater, and I had my share of one night stands including (“this pussy is mine now guy”) Ugh, His 40 seconds of sex and 30 minutes of whining didn’t help either. I can relate to your stalker stories though, I have one that sees me every time I sign on AOL and tells me “your 2003 Corolla looks pretty nice in your driveway”, I vaguely remember telling a guy I talked to online what car I had THREE YEARS ago. Yeah they are some sickos, us ladies need to be more careful!

    • Glad you enjoyed it and haha @ 40 seconds of sex and 30 min of whining. Sounds about right… That’s scary that he says stuff like that about your car!! I had a guy email me on a site called Tagged after he said he saw me at a stoplight. He named the make and model of my vehicle too. It was really creepy and I took my profile down because of it. I had only gone around the corner to the bank and library and hadn’t even gotten out of my van the day he said he saw me.

  6. Damn girl…and I thought I had it rough with the men folk. It’s like you’re my long lost twin. LOL I can’t help but feel your pain. Now you’ve got me thinking about all my stalkers. 😉 Great post!

  7. Pingback: You’re gonna miss what you had… | lifeofalovergirl

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