A man who is good in bed has so much power it’s scary. Alexyss Tylor is not kidding when she says “dick will make you wanna slap somebody”, LMAO! No, I’ve never slapped a guy during sex but yeah, never underestimate the power of good dick. It can and does make women act crazy sometimes.
Now men are frequently saying how much power pussy has on them so I guess it can work both ways, but I really think a man who knows what he is doing in bed is at much more of an advantage point than a woman could ever hope to be. For one, men are (usually) the dominant force in the bedroom and the woman becomes completely vulnerable and is at the mercy of whatever he wants to do to her. At least that is the power dynamic I am speaking of. I realize there are dominant women out there but I am definitely not one of them and am very naturally submissive in bed and love a dominant man, so that is the position I understand these things from. I’m not even talking from a BDSM perspective because I don’t have much experience with that, but I’d imagine the feelings in that case would be AMPLIFIED.
I’ve been thinking about these things after sex last night with the Professor. He is SO FREAKING GOOD in bed that it scares me. Just seeing the complete change in myself, my feelings and emotions and demeanor after sleeping with him makes me afraid because I know I am giving up control.
It’s not that he is a bad person to give that to. I think actually, that he is a really good man. Every time I’ve worried that he has been dishonest I’ve been proved to be WRONG. He’s been honest to a fault and I know it’s me and my trust issues that are more of a problem than anything with him. Of course he’s human and has his own issues but as far as being trustworthy, I think he is. I’m just not very experienced in the realm of trusting anyone for anything, really. It’s something I really have to work at learning to do but at the same time I’m wondering if I should do that or if it’s even wise to let down your guard that way because the truth usually is that people end up getting hurt when they do.
Also, there is the issue of him being emotionally involved with another woman. I don’t know to what extent but I know she is in love with HIM and he claims not to compare or pick favorites. That, to me, is a reason to try and hold back because I’m afraid of being all in love with someone that I know is seeing someone else and all the feelings that brings and what I have to deal with emotionally when he is with her. I don’t have the security of him just being into ME so I don’t really want to hand over my whole heart.
Let’s be real. I’m at the point where almost any sexual interaction of him with another female is going to stress me out. I can logically handle it but not so much emotionally. I don’t think it would be quite so much a problem in a swinging situation where we are all in the same room but separately or where I know or think there is an emotional connection, yeah, that is just plain hard.
I’m sure a lot of people are wondering why the Hell I would continue to agree to an open relationship then. The truth is though that I feel better KNOWING that it is open and knowing he will let me know, than WONDERING if he is out doing things behind my back, which is so often the case in a regular, monogamous relationship. I feel better when I can get honesty and reassurance afterwards than when I have to deal with suspicion and denial.
I LIKE HIM enough to have a monogamous relationship. If I were having sex with him a little more often I think I could go for a long, long time without seeing anyone else, if he were too. Still, I have enough foresight to know that those feelings wouldn’t last forever and that eventually one or both of us would get bored and want to feel excitement with another person. I also enjoy the thrill of trying new things and people so swinging occasionally is fun. It’s more fun though if I know I’m his absolute favorite person and that is what I want to be because at this point, he is mine. Right now there is still uncertainty in the other direction.
So anyway, back to last night. We have been emailing for a while with this Latino couple that we may hook up with sometime. Actually, they had been in contact with HIM for a long time but he said she never showed any real interest in him and they never met up. According to him, it’s only when he brought ME into the equation that they had more motivation to want to get together.
She is one of these “hotwives” that sleeps with lots of well –endowed, black men. I’ve seen pictures of her doing so. The professor fits the bill in that he is, in fact, a well- endowed, black, man, lol but I think there are things about him that maybe don’t fit the fantasy for some women in that regard. He’s more like the male version of a nerdy librarian (that is freaking sexy with his clothes off) than the stereotype of this big, buff, powerful black man that is going to come and do whatever to her. He IS very dominant in the bedroom but he’s also very much a “nice guy”. He’s not really intimidating and I think that is part of the fantasy for some people. I don’t know because I don’t totally “get” that fetish and think it objectifies black men too much and it creeps me out a bit in that regard (even though I am white and have slept with plenty of black guys, I just don’t look at it the same way I guess. Hell, I could write a whole nother blog post about how I feel about that, maybe someday).
The male half of the Latino couple says his wife has gotten hers but he hasn’t gotten his. So after the Professor told them about me they wanted to meet with me ALONE for a FMF threesome. I said I didn’t feel comfortable with that just yet. I know the Professor wouldn’t have appreciated it, since he’s the one that mentioned bringing me along for the fun and he thanked me for not wanting to exclude him. I don’t know if they have swapped with other COUPLES but the Professor thinks they have.
Anyhow, we talked about meeting up for drinks last night but I was the only one who would have to leave early, due to needing to pick up my kids. They couldn’t meet until after 8:00 and I had to leave by 8:30 so it wasn’t gonna work out. The Professor said that he still wanted to see me alone and that is what he had just assumed we would do and that sounded great. Then the Latino husband sends me this email saying his WIFE wants to know if I am going to meet up with the Professor alone. I said yes and he sends back a sad face.
I wondered what that was about and why she wanted to know. Was she going to try and meet up with him anyway if I wasn’t? Then it started to just rub me the wrong way and I was feeling confused. The husband had told me before that she still wanted to meet up with him separately, but that was before they tried to meet with ME alone and I said no.
So THEN the Professor texts me and “jokes” that maybe they can just come WATCH us have sex instead. I was like WTF? How are they gonna have time to watch if they don’t have time to get together for drinks? It started to really upset me and I figured he must be plotting to have them come over right before I leave (since they couldn’t come till after 8 and I had to leave at 8:30 and he had been told that) so that he could sleep with her after I left. Yeah, it was some insecurity and paranoia on my part.
Long story short, I got upset and gave him some drama about it. At first he was like I don’t even know what you are talking about and then he just started ignoring me and wouldn’t respond so I got MORE upset. Looking back I can see I was being irrational but at the time not so much because I was all in my feelings. He only responded to me to tell me he was too “pissed off” to meet up with me and that was not what I wanted to hear and just made it worse because I thought he might be saying that just so he could meet up with her and have an excuse to blow me off.
So, it wasn’t an extreme amount of drama really, considering, but I did send a handful of angry, emotional, insecure sounding, texts. He later said he ignored me because he knew arguing with me or explaining anything at that point was not going to help, and of course he is probably right. He says he was pissed at my lack of trust for him because he thinks he has shown me that he is good and a trustworthy person and again he is right. Trusting a man is a real challenge for me, even when I logically know it’s probably okay. He said he wasn’t going to put up with that and I said then maybe I am not a good person for you to be involved with, but he said that’s not what he meant.
We ended up having that conversation on the phone, both of us calmed down and I came over to his house. He gave me some of his Chinese food he had gone out to get and I was able to stay out later than expected so we sat and talked for a while, then had some really hot sex, which is what prompted me to write this blog.
THE SEX. OH MY GOD. He is wayyyyy too good in bed!! The emotional affect it has on me is incredible too. He’s very loving in the bedroom and very affectionate but also very dominant and in control of everything and knows exactly how to tease and push all my buttons and make me feel like I have no choice but to give him complete control. It turns me on, MASSIVELY, but when I’m back in my head I’m scared by the power of it all.
The fear comes from the knowledge that someone can have that huge of an effect on me and controlling my emotional state and making me vulnerable in that way. In bed I have NO CHOICE but to trust him because he is bigger and stronger and putting me in vulnerable positions and pinning me down and making me cum for him over and over and over again. I’m so far deep into a sex trance it’s like I’m hypnotized. At that point I would do ANYTHING he wanted.
I kept looking up at his face and the way he was smiling, the look in his eyes, you can tell he really gets off on knowing what he is doing to me. He does all sorts of things with his cock and like Alexyss mentions in one of her videos, he puts it ALL THE WAY in and holds it there for a bit until he can see I am uncomfortable and he just really knows what the hell he is doing. Yeah, it’s scary, LMAO. 😉
After sex he is perfect too. He’s very, very, affectionate and holds me and cuddles and kisses and makes me feel very happy and satisfied…and loved, whether he feels that or not. I am at that point, completely docile and affectionate and submissive to him. I just love laying there and stroking his chest and face and kissing him and listening to him talk with my head on his shoulder, all safe and warm and fuzzy. I’m still, halfway through the next day, on a high from that experience, and all lovey- dovey feeling. I love it!!! But at the same time…..gotta watch out for that PENIS POWER! LMAO 😉