Archive | November 2012

Watching and remembering

So I got this message on POF the other day that kind of creeped me out.

I saw you in Wendys on xyz street. A couple of weeks ago. Your better looking in person and you have a nice ass.

While it’s lovely that he thinks I’m good looking and have a nice ass, I find it rather disturbing that he recognizes me THREE weeks later, on a dating site, after randomly seeing me at Wendy’s with my daughter. I know when it was because I took her there as a treat after being so good at the dentist when she got her cavity filled. THREE effing weeks before he emailed me! I can’t say I even recognize him after seeing his picture and profile. Of course I was probably preoccupied with talking to my daughter, but that almost makes it more creepy. I’m pretty sure we never made eye contact.

This isn’t the first time a guy has messaged me on there with something like that either. I can think of AT LEAST 5 or 6 other occasions where a man recognized me somewhere in public and sent an email to me on Plenty of Fish later. Once I even ran into a man at Walmart who said he recognized me from my pictures on that site, then proceeded to ask me out on a date. Thinking he was kind of cute and seemed nice and normal enough, I agreed.

So he took me out to this restaurant and we enjoyed some Mexican food while he told me all about how he had been in prison for 10 years for murder but that it really wasn’t him who committed the crime, but his brother, who was now dead. Um…sure, of course, no one who is in prison ever actually committed the crime, right? That’s what I’ve been told by a few inmates anyway (like back in the day when I was participating in prison ministries with the ex). They NEVER actually did it. It’s always someone else’s fault.

In an unusual display of trust for a first date (I guess since I had met him first) I had actually let him come to my house to pick me up. Since he had driven me I was kind of stuck when he decided to take us back to his house, which was actually an extended stay HOTEL. No fear, it gets worse. I sat on the bed while he removed my sandals and lotioned up my feet for a foot rub, wondering how the hell am I going to get out of this situation without having sex? No worries. He gave me the fastest foot rubdown in the history of man then took me back out to the car (I swear, I have decent, even “pretty”, clean feet, with even toes and nicely painted toenails so I can’t imagine there was anything wrong with them that scared him off). He drove me back to my house, slipped $40 into my hand and said it was “for gas” then took off. I felt like some kind of foot fetish whore. A week later he sent me a picture of his dick. When I didn’t respond he sent a video. WTF??

Anyway, Walmart seems to be the most frequent place men have these citings of me. Hey, I have kids and don’t get to go out much, what can I say? I try to avoid wearing my pajamas ;). One told me I “looked like an angel” whilst shopping with my children. Of course. I always look angelic whilst doing my shopping, ha! Actually, I’m about as serious, focused and on a mission as it gets when I go there with kids in tow. I barely even glance to the side, try to get in and out as fast as possible and my kids get the death stare if they dare to step out of line. Hawt!

Then there was the guy on the site called TAGGED. I was married at the time and not even trying to use it to hook up. I didn’t know what it was about but it seemed like Myspace or something so when someone invited me I joined. Three days later I got an email from a thug looking Mexican dude who said he’d seen me AT A STOPLIGHT the day before. He went on to name the exact make and model of my vehicle. Even crazier is that the only time I’d left the house the day before was to drive around the corner to the bank and the library. I hadn’t even gotten out of the van! YIKES! I freaked out and took down my profile.

I must live in a small town, right? Not really. There are at least 150,000 people in this city and a few hundred thousand more in its surrounding suburbs. Am I really that recognizable? Or is it that every male within miles is lurking on POF? It’s one of the reasons I am so leery about stating my interest in casual sex on a site that has pictures of my face. I don’t need piles of stalkers at my door and creepy old guys leering at me every time I’m in Walmart thinking “I know what you REALLY want”. Shudder….

I am honestly amazed at these guys ability to remember me, out of all the women in this area. How do they even do that? I admit I totally suck at remembering faces. Heck I’m bad at names too. I’ve even forgotten people I’ve had sex with! Ooops. :/

In fact, I used to keep a written record of the guys I slept with and there is one guy on there that it just drives me CRAZY because I can’t figure out, for the life of me, who it could be! His name is Jeff (yes that’s his real name. Hell if I can’t figure out who he is I doubt you all can either, lol). I keep wondering if it’s the blonde Jeff that I had a crush on and remember kissing, or the black Jeff that used to hang out with us and was hot and dated one of my friends, or was it the long haired loser Jeff that was practically stalking me? Please don’t let it be long hair Jeff. I really hope I didn’t fuck him in a drunken stupor or anything dumb like that. ARGH. Then there was that older guy that I remember driving home from out of town with once. Were we at a hotel together before that? I liked his taste in music, but I can’t remember his freaking name! Did I fuck him? Help! If you think you might be Jeff you should shoot me a line and tell me the story…or something, because I am so lost. Maybe I need to write into Delilah and have her play a song for the long lost guy I fucked. Or maybe not. It WAS a one night stand after all, and if he were good in bed I’d probably remember, right?

Gosh, sometimes I flat out suck at remembering guys. When I first met my ex- husband I kept confusing him with two other guys who had a similar haircut and build (and one of them had been calling me). Then there was that poor guy who asked me to eat lunch with him in the college cafeteria and I said yes (over the phone) because I had confused him with a guy I’d just been out on a date with. When I realized I got it wrong I didn’t know what to do and ended up ditching him. I’ve always felt bad about that because I’m pretty sure he had a huge crush on me and he was obviously super shy and nerdy and whenever I saw him after that he would look away. 😦

Oh and we can’t forget the time I kissed the wrong person. I had been meeting this guy at the beach every day that was half Japanese and half Hawaiian. We would make out pretty heavily at the canoe club and once even had sex. So one day, around the time he would usually show up, I see this guy standing at a slightly closer entrance to the beach and the sun is shining in my eyes so I assume it’s him. I was laying out in my little yellow polka dot bikini and got up to go say hi. I walked right up to him and started kissing him on the lips. He got super excited and it was then that I realized he was slightly shorter than the other dude. Plus he could barely speak English. SO he had his finger in my panties and we were making out HARD and he was trying to pull me into the bushes before I managed to extract myself. He couldn’t understand then why I didn’t want to fuck him (can you blame him? LOL) so I had to practically RUN away and hide with my sister to escape. Scary. Ha.

Yeah, I really need to pay more attention. I don’t suppose guys like it when I forget their names or faces or like, almost fuck someone else thinking its them, though I guess that could make a good cover up story if I was gonna cheat. LMAO. Still, remembering me THREE weeks later from a seeing me at a fast food place eating with my child, isn’t that a bit much? Am I being paranoid? Should I start covering my face in online photos? Hmmmmm…..

The ghosts of guys in the past

He stood at the foot of the bed, looking especially handsome with his shirt off, leaning in towards me, talking in a hushed tone of voice. I lay on the bed, waiting for him to finish undressing. I hadn’t seen him in years but it felt so right to be doing this again. We smiled at each other and kissed, me wrapping my arms around his neck, before there was a knock at the door. He got up, walking past the long wooden chest that sat against the wall. The size and shape reminded me of a casket. I looked out the second story window and down at the people milling about on the lawn below. Friends we’d partied with when we were younger were drinking and talking amongst a sea of unfamiliar faces.

The knocking became more intense and the door opened a crack. Someone was being very persistent, and trying to rattle and push the door open. “WAIT, I’m not ready yet!” shouted my friend, pushing back up against the door, but the guy on the other side wouldn’t let up. It was then that I realized he had a gun. The struggle continued with both men pushing against the door in opposite directions, then…

BANG!!!! I shot up in bed. My body was shaking, tears streaming down my cheeks. I hadn’t thought about him in years. It had been at least a decade since we’d seen each other and my life was so different. Why now? Why would I have a dream about HIM, of all people? Not that we’d ever had any kind of fight or argument, he just hadn’t so much as crossed my mind in ages.

My part- time minister husband was working his regular job that night and not at home. It was hard for me to fall back asleep in the dark. My mind was swimming with memories and questions. Had God awoken me with a dream like that for a reason? Was I supposed to pray for this guy, and the people I had known in the past? Maybe that was it. I buried my face in the pillow, trying to pray, trying to quell my racing heart and the feeling of fear that I couldn’t shake.

Two days later my sister called me. Had I heard about what happened? The guy in my dream had been killed two days before. Shot, at a party, and then beaten with the gun. All the people there had scattered, and left him to die alone. According to my calculations he would have been laying there, on the verge of death at the approximate time of my dream. It happened in a second story apartment. Chills ran through my body as his voice echoed in my ears “WAIT, I’m not ready yet!”

At the time of his death he was 28 years old. My mind flashed back to moments in the past. The time when I’d been sitting on the curb with him after his sister died. He was drunk and trying to call her on the cordless phone. It’s the only time I’d ever seen him break down and cry. He’d told me then that he knew he’d never live to be 30 and I kept telling him to stop saying that but he insisted it was true. He said he wanted to get out of the lifestyle he was living, the parties, the chaos and I asked him why he didn’t just ask everyone to leave now and he said he couldn’t do it.

Years before he’d said the same thing. We were lying in bed after having sex and I was imploring him to tell me what he wanted to do with his future. “Are you going to go to college?” I asked and he’d responded that there would be no point since he knew he’d never live to be 30. Unconvinced, I insisted that it didn’t have to be that way, that he shouldn’t give up and he relented and said he’d probably go to community college.

I wanted to attend his funeral but couldn’t. My ex-husband thought I should forgo all contact with the people of the past and that even thinking or talking about it was “glorifying Satan” and quite possibly tempting myself to return to my former sinful ways. Plus a wake was an evil Catholic concoction that was simply an excuse for drinking alcohol. I grieved in silence. My sister, who had only known him in passing, went with her then boyfriend and reported back to me. She kept me updated on the news the papers failed to report, the underground word on the street, the fact that he’d had large amounts of cocaine coursing through his veins and a recent drug deal under his belt at the time of his death.

I have to wonder what that dream really meant. Was he still alive when I dreamt it? Was he lying on the floor dying, his life flashing before his eyes and somehow I crossed his mind? Did he come to me for a reason, after his death? If so, why me? I’ve had many dreams that were eerily prophetic but that was one of the most vivid and real I have ever experienced.

What’s funny is that he and I were never what I’d really call “close”. We’d had sex on quite a few occasions, maybe a dozen times, but it was far from a “relationship”. More like fuck buddies and we were relatively emotionally distant from one another. Still I’d spent quite a bit of time around him and at his house, sleeping with other people and sometimes he was there with other girls too. Neither one of us cared or was jealous or bothered by it at all.

He was the quintessential “alpha male” of the pack. The guy everyone looked up to and respected as a leader. His house was the center for many of the wilder get-togethers and parties of my youth. He was also the biggest manwhore I have ever met! Upon his death he had at least 6 or 7 known children with different women, one of my sister’s friends was pregnant with his baby and another friend of mine had a teenage daughter that he never even knew belonged to him. I honestly think he had sex with at LEAST 2/3 of the females I knew in high school. LOL

I can trace many of my more debase sexual experiences back to him, though I hold no grudges. He was never mean and as someone described him in a newspaper after his death, was “always debonair with the ladies”. I even remember once walking into a room at his house, when it was full of people, and finding him sitting on the end of the bed, watching his 10 year old sister sleep. He said there was no way he was letting any of these guys near her and was determined to protect her. Unfortunately he was unable to protect her from her own untimely death at the age of 13, which was truly heartbreaking.

It’s funny how the people of the past and the experiences you have with them shape the person you are today. Every person I have had sex with, even the one night stands, hold some kind of meaning in my life. Granted there is at least one on my written list that I can’t remember who the hell he was for the life of me, but overall we become a compilation of those we’ve had sexual relations with. It defines how we ourselves become in bed.

The guy I mentioned above once asked me who was the best in bed out of all the guys I’d slept with (or more specifically out of the ones I’d slept with that he knew personally, aka “his boys”, lol). He begged me to be totally honest and tell the truth, so I did. Even though I knew he wanted me to say it was him I told him what I really thought, and that was someone else, his best friend. He took it well and didn’t get upset. Another friend of mine thought he was the best in bed ever, but I just didn’t. To me the sex was mediocre, yet there are a lot of things I never would have experienced had it not been for him.

I think the people in our pasts, like it or not, will always haunt us, whether it be for good or bad. Sure, we can rid ourselves of a lot of unwanted baggage but the skeletons are still there in the closet, the memories that hide within popping out on us in moments we never expected. One guy will do something that reminds me of someone else. We pick people that have mannerisms or sexual behaviors that are similar to those we enjoyed in the past. From that we develop a “type” and some of us are very true to that. There are things I expect from men that maybe other women don’t and kinks I’ve developed in bed that are carried over from other lovers. It’s interesting how it all works out.

I wonder sometimes if it isn’t easier for those who are virgins until they find “the one” and stay together forever because they haven’t had those ghosts to live up to. Yet at the same time I wouldn’t trade the experiences that I’ve had because then I would never have discovered so many turn-ons that I enjoy now. It takes awhile to really develop a knowledge for what YOU want sexually and that realization would be hard to come to without trial and error. In any case, I’m ever growing as a sexual being, even now and thoroughly enjoying the process, even when it involves Ghostbusting! lol 😉

To bi or not to bi, is that the question?

Being bisexual is all the rage for the young women of today. There seems to be a lot of pressure on females to identify as “bi”. After all, kissing and making out with other girls is a well-known tactic for turning on MEN. It seems sometimes women will do ANYTHING to attract male attention, even going so far as to fake their sexual orientation. Why wouldn’t they though, when top on the wish list for most guys is a girlfriend who will indulge them in their fantasies of a threesome involving two women? I sometimes wonder what the world would look like if women pushed men in the same direction. Would guys be willing to go gay occasionally, just for the sake of turning on their girlfriends?

It makes you wonder, but I don’t think it’s even that simple. A lot of women, (and maybe men, though they aren’t as likely to talk about it) ARE turned on by the idea of same sex play. Many of us indulge in it at one time or another, even if we DON’T identify ourselves as “bisexual”. I fully admit I have toyed with this myself and I have a very strong inclination towards MEN, lol.

I could tell you that my first sexual experience with other females was recently, during a six-some with two other couples and the Professor and I, and that would be partly true. I jumped right into it, kissing, touching, and going down on two other women and one went down on me. One of those women did me with a strap on while everyone watched. At one point she and I were in a 69 with each other whilst the Professor was doing me from the back. I had no qualms about any of it and thought it was lots of fun. I would definitely do it again.

Still, I am really reluctant to claim the “bi” label. I just love cock too much, lol. I don’t see women walking down the street and think how much I want to fuck them. I can recognize beauty and sexiness but my feelings are platonic. I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman outside of a friendship. Sex with another female is “just sex” and it’s missing what I really need to be fulfilled, both figuratively and literally. However I DID enjoy myself and would possibly even play with a woman by myself if I happened to be in the mood.

Actually, if I’m totally honest with you, my sexual exploration with other girls started long before that, even before I ever did anything with a guy. I can remember being as young as 8 or 9, spending the night at a friend’s house and she liked to play games that involved climbing on top of me naked. She would pretend to be a guy that had kidnapped and was going to rape me, sometimes even tying me up, taking off my panties and grinding on me to the point of orgasm, for both of us. Kind of kinky shit really, and it wasn’t just her, but with several other girls before I turned 12 or so and started to experience guys for real.

I know sex play and same sex play is normal for kids to engage in to some extent but mine probably went beyond that. I won’t get into all the details but it involved kissing and there were times it was pretty intense. Hell, we even had a sort of “orgy” once involving several girls. Still, I never felt particularly attracted to females as opposed to males and all of my crushes were on guys. Also, there were no mouths below the waist or fingering or anything like that. I never would have considered myself a lesbian.

Once, years later, I spent a day visiting a friend who went to the same high school as the girl mentioned above. She came up to say hi to me and I kind of shunned her because my friend said she’d come out as a lesbian and was telling people she knew me. I was afraid of being identified with her and have always felt guilty about treating her that way. The friend in question was really relieved that I didn’t embarrass HER by admitting to having been friends with this person. Sad how that works sometimes.

So moving on I basically put those experiences out of my head as soon as I discovered sex and relationships with the opposite sex. Sure I still had masturbatory fantasies that sometimes involved other females but I didn’t take it seriously and thought of it more as “just fantasy”. My friends and I would sometimes pretend to be gay to deflect drunken guys at parties (as if that really works!) but again that was simply a game in my mind. However, the only porn I really ever got into involved women having sex with each other. For some reason, that turned me on more than the male on female sex on the screen. I know I’m not the only woman like that.

Anyway, in recent years one of my sisters came out as a lesbian, which was kind of a shock since I’d never have expected it from her. She was in her late teens at the time and I predicted it would be a phase. Sure enough, after living with another female in a lesbian relationship for a couple of years she has now decided to have sex with men. She really wants a baby someday and I don’t think the lesbian thing was conducive to that dream! During that time another sister told me in secret that she considers herself bi. Then my mom told me about how she was considering a threesome with her (then) boyfriend and another woman. Sheesh. Just one coming out after another, lol.

Me though, as much as its thrown in my face on the swinger site and with all the couples that have propositioned me for sex, I just haven’t gone there other than with the Professor and those couples that one time. Honestly during that entire encounter, as fun as it was, I was REALLY looking forward to sex with the Professor at the end more than anything or anyone else. He’s just SOOOO hot in bed and I absolutely LOVE his cock, lol.

I’ll definitely never swing completely over to the other side. I’d say at this point I’m maybe 85% straight, with just that slight inclination to enjoy a dalliance here and there with another woman. Who knows though, maybe in the future I’ll surprise you. 😉

DRUMROLL…. My First Blog Award!! :D

I am so excited!! My first ever blog award!! Thank you, http://seattlepolychick.com/ for nominating me!! 😀

My blog was started less than two months ago and I have been thrilled at the response level. I’m really happy that my writing has caught people’s attention and is being read by so many already. Seattlepolychick’s blog was one of the first ones I discovered on WordPress and I am especially honored that she found mine intriguing enough to mention! If you haven’t checked out her writing yet, please do. Her stories of everyday life as a polyamorous woman and her different lovers are fascinating and encouraging to me. 🙂

So here are the RULES of accepting the Liebster award, which I will try my best to follow,

* When one receives the award, one posts 11 random facts about oneself and answers the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.

*Pass the award onto 11 other blogs (while making sure one notifies the blogger that one nominated them!)

* One writes up 11 NEW questions directed towards YOUR nominees.

* One is not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated one’s own blog!

* One pastes the award picture into ones blog. (You can google the image, there are plenty of them!)

SO, without further ado…..

11 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I learned to swim before I learned how to walk. I started taking swimming lessons with a world renowned swimming teacher who worked with babies when I was 4 months old. Swimming still seems almost more natural than walking to me! I am an excellent swimmer and once saved a drunken man who had tried to commit suicide by drowning himself. He had swum way out to the middle of the lake and was screaming for help now that he’d changed his mind. He was twice my size but I managed to pull him back to shore.

2. Of all of my siblings that have the same mother I am the only “white” child. My brothers and sisters are racially and ethnically mixed (some with Hispanic, some black, and my stepsiblings are black). I jokingly refer to myself as “the white sheep of the family”.

3. I was a precocious child and by the age of 4, thanks to my grandmother, I was reading at an adult level. Because of this I was put in the gifted program at school. I stayed for a few years but the teachers complained that I was lazy and not living up to my potential. Probably this had something to do with the abuse I endured at home and an inability to focus on schoolwork or do homework. Still, school was always easy for me and I got pretty good grades with very little effort, acing pretty much every test that was given to me and even winning some awards for my writing.

4. I once danced in a rap video. No really, lol. It was the lamest, worst “rapper” you ever heard and part of a just say NO to drugs campaign. My high school media/film class and the Black Student Union at school were asked to take part and they filmed two separate videos. The first one was using all black kids and the second one, they needed some white people. I guess I fit the bill, haha. So we had to dance to this horribly pathetic guy rapping and it was shown to thousands of schools across the country in an effort to discourage drug use. I was smoking pot back then too. Shhhhh….

5. I used to work in a home for boys with behavioral disorders and now I have one of my own. Oh, boy, is it a challenge and you’d think I would be prepared to deal with it but every day can be a struggle. I never dreamed I would be here because I thought being a good parent would ensure having well behaved kids. I’m sad to say it doesn’t always work out that way. This one is trying to prove me wrong every step of the way. I’m humbled for sure.

6. I love to cook! I really enjoy trying new recipes and improving on old ones. A few years ago I put together my very own cookbook filled with recipes I’ve found and loved and gathered favorites from friends and family. I made copies for all my close friends and families and gave them as Christmas presents, interspersed with scrapbook pages with pictures of my family and those included on my list. It was a lot of work but so worth it! I use my cookbook all the time. and get calls from others who are enjoying it as well.

7. I didn’t have a TV from the time I started college until about 8 months ago (approximately 17 years) and barely missed it at all. I’m not a big television watcher even now that we have one because I rarely have the time for it. Back in the day I mostly watched MTV and VH1 anyway, when they actually played music videos. It’s always been hard for me just to sit there and WATCH something for hours. I don’t even like long, involved movies.

8. In the rare event that I actually watch television (usually only when I’m working out), I generally pick things that are light and funny. My favorite TV shows are The New Adventures of Old Christine and Sex and the City.

9. I love music, love to sing and was in choir much of my life. I am a bit too shy for solos but I’ve also been in musicals such as Oliver and Bye Bye Birdie in the past and a handful of plays. I don’t know how to read music and have never learned to play an instrument, though I always wished I’d had the opportunity.

10. I was a cheerleader in junior high. I never really could get into being one of the snotty girls though. I’m way too sensitive for that and used to get called on to go talk to the one (slightly) overweight girl on the squad all the time when she got hurt feelings because I was apparently the only one capable of being nice to her.

11. I’ve never mowed a lawn before. Or changed a tire or done any of a myriad of “man jobs”, lol. I can be a little bit prissy about things like that. Don’t wanna mess up my hair/nails you know!

My ANSWERS to the questions asked of me:

1. What are you most proud of?

I’m proud of myself just for making it through life thus far without completely falling apart! I’ve been through a lot but I’m proud of my resilience and ability to bounce back without allowing things to affect me negatively.

2. Who inspires you?

I’m inspired by my grandmother. She too, has had an amazing and interesting, but often very challenging, life and is one of the most cheerful and happy seeming people I know. She also looks so young for her age. I hope to be the same way!

3. What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas!! I love it! I love the feeling of Christmas, the generosity of people during that season, seeing my children’s eyes light up on Christmas morning, singing Christmas carols, all of it. 🙂 I refuse to let the materialism of the season get me down and prefer to see all the positives.

4. Who are some of your favorite authors?

Oh man. This should be easy because I love to read and love books but it’s just too hard to pick! Plus I haven’t been able to sit down and read much for MYSELF in ages! Mostly I am reading children’s books and classics with my kids. I’ve read a lot of books and a lot of really great authors but to even try to remember who my favorites are is just overwhelming.

I’ve read a lot of classic literature but I am just going to leave you with a couple books that I have read recently instead. They are of a more practical variety.

One is a must read for every woman, especially those who have been in an abusive or difficult relationship. It’s called Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft. I went through that book with a highlighter and found my ex-husband, over and over and over again, which kind of surprised me because he had seemed so passive. It was really eye opening.

The other book is the one I am reading right now but still haven’t gotten a chance to finish. It’s called The Ethical Slut, A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

5. why do you write a blog?

I’ve always loved to write and this blog is actually kind of therapeutic to me. It’s nice to be able to write out my experiences and feelings. My original purpose in starting it was to see if anyone would be interested in reading my writing. It’s been a long time dream of mine to write a book but I wondered if anyone would read it. I wanted to see how I did in the blog world first!

6. what did you want to be as a kid?

An actress, lol, of course!! 😉

7. who would play you in a movie about your life? (in your dreams)

Gosh, that’s a hard one! Maybe Sandra Bullock.

8. name 5 really great musicians or bands.

Oh wow, that’s like choosing which guy to have sex with!! 😉 LOL I love so many different musicians and bands, of various genres, though overall RnB is my favorite. More old school than the newer stuff though. Hmmmmm…. okay, how about Tom Petty, R. Kelly, the Isley Brothers, Anthony Hamilton and Jodeci. LOL

9. do you ever get jealous?

Yes, see my blog post on the Evolution of Jealousy for that one!!

10. do you believe in love that lasts forever?

You know, I believe love, as in caring for another person can last forever. Just like you love your kids and your siblings forever and your parents if you are a person who had parents who cared about you (I really didn’t). As for romantic love, I think the “romantic” part probably only lasts a few years. Then, it’s a different kind of love that isn’t as exciting. It can change to a caring love or sometimes it fades away.

11. anything odd that turns you on?

Odd? Probably not, but I’m not sure. I think most of the things that turn me on are probably pretty typical. I like guys that are really confident, dominant but not mean. I think I’m pretty normal in that regard. I like spankings and a little rough play but it seems that’s common.

Eleven blogs you should really check out!! 🙂 There are so many, but this was just off the top of my head!

1.http://aloveinlondon.com/
2.http://onewomanonehundreddicks.com/
3.http://diaryofacheatingwhore.wordpress.com/
4.http://confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress.wordpress.com/
5.http://3somes.wordpress.com/
6.http://notsosexinthecity.wordpress.com/
7.http://iminlovewithaserialcheater.com/
8.http://oversharetheblog.wordpress.com/
9.http://adufresne1.wordpress.com/
10.http://blondewanderlust.com/#http://blondewanderlust.com/
11.http://duskylover.wordpress.com/

Eleven questions for those who accept this award:

1. What was your first sexual experience like?
2. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
3. Do your friends and family know you have a blog? Why or why not?
4. What are some songs that remind you of your current relationship(s)?
5. What is one of your favorite meals to eat for dinner?
6. Tell us one of your funny or embarrassing dating experiences.
7. What do you think about marriage?
8. Name a book you would recommend to your blog readers?
9. Name something out of the ordinary that you have done sexually. It can be an act, a place you’ve had sex, whatever.
11. What is the most annoying habit of the opposite sex (or people you are dating of the same sex)?